Child does not make friends

 
Contributed by : Palak Vyas, Dr Ajab Primuswala   
Child does not make friends

A child is entitled to his/her choices of choosing friends and playmates.

When you say that your child is not able to make friends, it might just be your perception about the child. You might be overlooking the possibility that maybe the child is into playing alone. Another possibility could be that maybe the child is not being allowed to play what the (s)he wants hence the child takes resorts to self-play. Playing alone makes the child a priority for himself/herself.


  • If your child is unable to make friends; you first need to identify whether the child is not being able to make friends or whether (s)he is not being able to maintain friendships.
  • Not being able to make friends might be because your child is an introvert and that is fine. If your child has one or two good friends whom (s)he can trust, there is no need for a huge friend circle. It’s okay if the child does not want to be with his/her friends all the time because introverts need some alone time to recharge themselves.
  • If your child is not able to maintain his/her friendships, it might be because (s)he is not able to cope with the changes which come with friendships and is not able to prioritise others above self. In this case, you can help your child get adapted to the change and help them understand that friends are an important part of life just like family.
  • If you perceive that your child is an introvert, is it because (s)he is not making friends? If so, you cannot generalise that the child is an introvert.
  • An introvert child does not usually interact with the guests at home, the child does not speak to people when asked for, and the child is not able to talk about his needs. If you observe these in your child, then your child is an introvert.
  • Once you identify that your child is an introvert, you can motivate the child to interact more. Or you can simply not act on it as this is not a problem, just a way of being.
  • You can help your child adapt to basic life skills by encouraging them and praising them every time they try coming out of their comfort zones. For example, if the child asks for some help at the restaurant himself/herself, acknowledge that and praise them. Acknowledgement and praise for an introvert go a long way.


In a nutshell, we can only motivate our children to live a better life and if they are introverted or extroverted, it is up to us to accept and respect them for who and how they are instead of trying to change them as per our notions of perfect children. Love them unconditionally for being themselves and avoid forcing societal conditioning on them. Introvert or extrovert is just a state of being. It is not a problem.




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