Dealing with a constantly shouting child

Contributed by : Palak Vyas

Shouting only makes matters worse, be it you or your child.

Before asking them to stop shouting, identify from where they learned it. Usually, children learn such behaviour from home itself or from their surroundings. If as a parent, you are yelling at your child, the first thing you need to do is stop shouting at your child. Child models your behaviour. What they see, they learn. If you have screamed at your child for a certain thing, they learn that screaming at people gets the task done. Once they learn to yell, it's difficult for them to unlearn.

Steps you can take to stop your child from yelling:

Face to face communication: Whenever you talk to your child, look them in the eye and calmly convey your message. Do not make faces. Stop staring and glaring at them. Always, go near to your child or call them near and then talk calmly. Do not show a frustrated or angry face or use abusive language.
Use a timetable to avoid conflict: When the time table is pre-decided there are fewer chances of conflict and anger and frustration. Gradually, the child develops the habit of accepting the time frames for particular activities and follows it. Stay flexible and understanding if your child fails to follow the timetable once in a while.
Walk out of the argument: In instances where the child is yelling, tell them, “It is not right to shout and yell at others. Let’s calm down and then talk”. Don’t sound stubborn but be firm.
Set an example: Yes! We know the situation is frustrating and triggering for you, but this is your test. Maintain your calm and composure during the argument. This may seem difficult but with practice, you will learn it too.

In cases of toddler’s yelling there are few points that need to be considered:

Toddlers scream just to check their ability to scream and experiment. It might be a fun thing for them.
Sometimes they yell to grab attention or to have a toy. In short, they yell to show the power and make you believe that you either fulfil their wish or they will shout and get it. In such cases, if you do what they ask just to escape their shouting, you are making a huge mistake. Be firm and calmly tell them whatever they do, you would only listen to them when they lower your voice.
At times they might be really uncomfortable in some situations so always make it a point to first ask them the issue and then respond accordingly.

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