A few things said in haste messes up a child's brain and have a considerable impact psychologically, like low self-confidence, self-doubt, anxiety, depression, and so much more. Throughout your parenting journey, make sure you are not saying things or acting out in a way that could damage your child(ren) mentally. Sometimes parents are not aware that their actions affect their child(ren) negatively, and sometimes parents overlook it and justify their bad behaviour due to their stress. Here are a few practices which you should avoid telling your child(ren): Pick these up right now. I don't want you leaving a mess like that again.Instead, say:&nbsp;I don't like this mess you are leaving. Can you please clean this up when you have time? You should know better.Instead, say:&nbsp;It's OK not to know some things. Here, I will help you out. You're a bad kid.Instead, say:&nbsp;Can you tell me why you behaved/acted in such a way? I feel it wasn't right, is there anything you want to talk about? Or Else.&nbsp;Example: Eat dinner, or else you won't get your dessert.Instead, say:&nbsp;How about you take a healthy dinner quickly so that we can all enjoy dessert together?&nbsp; Stop being shy.Instead, say:&nbsp;You can come to say hi to your aunt when you are ready. You should set a good example for your brother.Instead, say:&nbsp;Your brother looks up to you; you're such a good role model. Wait until your father/mother gets home.Instead, say:&nbsp;You're grounded because you said a bad word. I will never forgive you.Instead, say:&nbsp;What you did was not acceptable, but we can look past it and move on if you think the next time. I'm ashamed of you.Instead, say:&nbsp;Although I feel bad about what you did, I love you for who you are. Don't worry; everything will be OK.Instead, say:&nbsp;Mom and Dad are always nearby, and we're going to set up a plan in case of emergency. Here, I'll do it.Instead, say:&nbsp;Let's do it together!" Don't cryInstead, say:&nbsp;I know you're sad, and it's OK to cry. It's OK to let out your emotions. Let me hug you. If you don't clean your room, you're going to be in big trouble.Instead, say:&nbsp;When your room is clean, then you may go out to play. Family finances aren't your business.Instead, say:&nbsp;Finances are how we make and manage money, and when you like, we will teach you what we know. I'm disappointed in you.Instead, say:&nbsp;I'm surprised and was not expecting this to occur. Come here, NOW.Instead, say:&nbsp;It's almost time to go. Do you want one minute or two? Because I said so.Instead, say:&nbsp;Explaining why you feel a certain way about something. We can't afford that.Instead, say:&nbsp;We're not going to buy that because we're saving our money for more important things. Don't talk to strangers.Instead, say:&nbsp;What would you do if a man you don't know offers you candy and a ride home? OR If anyone makes you feel sad, scared, or confused, you need to tell me right away. You should listen to adults.Instead, say:&nbsp;You need to listen to your parents. Don't be greedy!Instead, say:&nbsp;Would you please be kind and share your toys with your friend? Who taught you this? (about mischief)Instead, say:&nbsp;Why did you do that? Look at this lovely girl.Instead, say:&nbsp;I love you. You can do this too. I do everything for you.Instead, say:&nbsp;We do things for you because we love you, so please do for me. Do I have to tell you this 100 times?Instead, say:&nbsp;I've told you this before, but could you please. That's only for boys/girls.Instead:&nbsp;Say nothing at all. Try your best at raising gender-neutral children. You live under my roof, so you follow my rules.Instead, say:&nbsp;You know the household rules. Please stick to them. That's how I was raised.Instead, say:&nbsp;I don't think it's a good idea to do [ ]. Even my parents used to tell me that [ ]. You're just like your mother/father!Instead say:&nbsp;I’m not happy with [ ] because [ ]. I told you so.Instead, say:&nbsp;I'm sorry to hear about [ ] ... let this be a lesson. It's just a little white lie.Instead, explain to them that it's OK to use white lies to be polite and not hurt someone's feelings. Explain to them the fine line between lies and little white lies. Man up. / Be a man.Never disregard your son's feelings. Don't teach them that showing emotions is weak. To show emotions is only human. Why can't you be more like your sister?Instead, say:&nbsp;I don't quite like this behaviour of yours. Do you think we can work on it? If you loved me, you wouldn't do (this/that).Don't teach them that love needs to be proven all the time. Love comes without ifs and buts. I wish you'd never been born. / I hate you.No matter how angry you are, this is the worst thing to say. You would be scarring your child. Why can't you do anything right?Instead, say: What's the barrier? Is there anything I can help you with? I don't believe you.Instead, say: This comes as a shock for me. But I am sure you can tell me the whole thing. There's nothing to be afraid of.Instead, say:&nbsp;Everyone has their fair share of fears. We appreciate that you shared your feelings with us. We promise we will work on this together. You're lazy/stupid/selfish.Never label your child. Never. Your friends don't do that.Comparison will never bring any positive change. Accept your child for who they are and appreciate them. You should have done better.Praise them for their achievement. Do not over expect. You don't know what you're talking about. / You're too young to know what you want.Often children know what they want or how they feel. Saying this will show your distrust in their feelings. You'll never be able to do that.Instead, encourage and push your child to do better, of course, without any comparison. You're so fat/skinny, or You're going to get fat/skinny.Never attribute a child's identity to their looks. You make me so mad.Calm your anger down, and then talk to your child(ren).&nbsp;Instead, say:&nbsp;We will talk about this after a while when I am in the right state of my mind. Impact of such phrases on children:<ol><li>Antisocial behaviour</li><li>Poor resilience</li><li>Depression</li><li>Aggression</li><li>Lack of empathy</li><li>Difficulty in relationships</li><li>Self-doubt</li><li>Lack of self-confidence</li><li>Anxiety</li></ol>

A few things said in haste messes up a child's brain and have a considerable impact psychologically, like low self-confidence, self-doubt, anxiety and so on

Speaking Gently: Things you should never say to your child

A few things said in haste messes up a child’s brain and have a huge impact psychologically.

Things You Should Never Say to Your Child

Are we exhibiting what we want our kids to be? Call it a harsh reality but children rarely learn from what we preach, they learn from our actions. Take this for an example, an anonymous user on the internet confessed that her child would hit her younger sibling while playing. Her explanation in defence was, “We are playing ‘mommy”. We all aspire to become perfect parents for our kids because we want to inculcate values in them that would make them better human beings. But the larger and the more significant question is do we exhibit that kind of discipline in our behaviour? We expect our children to use modern-day gadgets judiciously but do we supervise our use of these products? We want our kids to watch their words and actions when angry but do we manage our anger appropriately? We want our kids to show decorum and discipline with their daily routine but are we exhibiting ourselves as an example to do the same? Dr Haim Ginott, a renowned child psychologist, pointed out, “Children are like wet cement. Whatever falls on them makes an impression.” If we give the child an environment of hostility he is more likely to learn to fight. An environment of ridicule and shame can lead to the child resulting being shy and guilty. But similarly, if the child had always lived with tolerance, he learns to become more patient. If he has always received praise, he learns the virtue of appreciation. What is important during the child’s growing years is that we model the kind of behaviour we expect our children to be. It is impossible to not be stressed or angry under circumstances. But when the parents manage their stress and anger appropriately, the message is loud and clear to the kids that it is normal to feel negative at times but it is only the positive attitude towards solving these problems that reap good results. Parents should ‘speak’ and ‘do’ what they expect out of their children. Saying statements like. “I love all kinds of food”, “I love playing outdoors”, “Let’s clean up the mess together”, “Let’s help little brother/sister with eating the food”. These kinds of statements bring about assurance in the kids and before indulging in the wrong they are forced to do what think what they have been taught. The brains of children are like sponges. They absorb everything without discriminating information into right or wrong. Let's set ourselves as better examples for our children. Let's exhibit what we want our children to be.

Are we exhibiting what we want our kids to be? Call it a harsh reality but children rarely learn from what we preach, they learn from our actions.

Children See Children Learn - The pillar of parenting

Being a positive role model for your child can help instil the right attitude and habits from an early age for your child to nurture a healthy lifestyle.

Children See Children Learn ~The pillar of parenting

<ul><li>Protect your child from too much sun. The sun's rays are strongest between 10 AM and 4 PM so avoid taking your child out during these hours.</li><li>If you plan to take your child outside, apply sunscreen to them which provides protection against UV rays. Apply sunscreen 30 minutes before going outside. Reapply every two hours and after being in the water or sweating. Use sunscreen on cloudy days too as the sun’s rays pass through the clouds as well. Do not skip sunscreen if you are taking your child out; only skip if your child is wearing clothes that cover his/her entire body.</li><li>If your baby is less than a year old, keep them out of the sun as much as you can. Dress your baby in lightweight, light-coloured clothing with long sleeves and long pants. Make sure to cover their head.</li><li>Select sunglasses for babies and children that provide 100% UV protection.</li><li>When it is too hot and humid, children should not play outside or exercise for more than 30 minutes at a time.</li><li>Make sure your child drinks plenty of fluids even if they are not thirsty. Water is best of all. Dehydration can cause fatigue and muscle cramping.</li><li>Keep your child covered at all times when outside or sit in the shade as your child’s sensitive skin can get a sunburn. If your child gets sunburn, the best remedy is to use a cold compress for the affected area. If it’s too much, consult a doctor.</li><li>Never leave your kids unattended in a closed car even for a few minutes and even if the windows are open. The temperature inside a closed car increases too quickly and can be fatal for a child.</li></ul>

Taking the right precautionary steps before the arrival of any season will keep your baby safe and healthy.

Handy Summer Care and Tips For Babies

Taking the right precautionary steps before the arrival of any season will keep your baby safe and healthy.

Summer Precautions for Babies

In a joint family, every member takes their turn to nurture and nourish the child. Joint families are a boon to working parents or otherwise too. Children get to learn to respond and interact with others, adapt to changes and people. Raising a child in a joint family also becomes a bit easier on the mother because of the whole support system. Like every coin has two sides, bringing up a child in a joint family also has its own set of pros and cons. <ul><li>A joint family has too many authoritative figures which usually can give contradicting signals to a child. In a joint family, the same message should come from all the adults in the family. If jumping on the bed is not allowed, then the same message should come from both parents and grandparents.</li><li>It Is given that the parenting styles of grandparents and parents are going to differ. And when the differences arise, children are quick to catch those. So whenever you feel conflicts arising, it is better to sit down and talk about the differences when the child is NOT around. Set ground rules about raising your child.</li><li>In a joint family, a child learns good family values from the elder family members.</li><li>Children in a joint family are less hooked on gadgets as everyone in the family is ready to cater to their needs, be it emotional, social, physical, or in academics.</li><li>Making decisions for a child might get conflicting in the joint families as the grandparents tend to impose their thoughts and opinions. Sure, at times the help and insights are great but at the end of the day, it is solely the right of parents to decide the best for their child.</li></ul> In the end, it is up to parents to weigh the pros and cons of raising a child in joint and nuclear families and then decide what’s best for their child(ren).

A joint family is a large family where the grandparents, father, mother, uncle, aunt and their children live unitedly under one roof.

Parenting in a Joint Family | Types of Family

A joint family is a large family where the grandparents, father, mother, uncle, aunt and their children live unitedly under one roof.

Parenting in a Joint Family

Creativity is at the epicentre of human exploration and discovery. Creativity is a force that nurtures human development, innovation and helps us appreciate nature around us. Everyone is creative. Being creative helps children to look within themselves, take a pause and helps them to calm down. Below are a few ways to nurture your child’s creative ideas and imaginative spirit:<ol><li>Encourage possibility thinking: Pose the “What if?” question in front of your child in as many ways as possible; these help children naturally think of creative possibilities for everything they encounter.</li><li>Nurture your child’s interests: Allow your children to choose their after-school activities. Encourage them to more deeply explore those activities in essays and projects at school.</li><li>Expand the language of emotion: Being able to understand and describe emotions is critical to the creative process. Help them with the emotional vocabulary so that they can express their feelings better.</li><li>Play, play, play: Through imaginative play, children explore their ideas and create meaning about the world around them. It is better to provide all kinds of art supplies - crayons, play dough, construction paper, glitter to your child so that (s)he can create freely.</li><li>Explore the beauty of nature: The natural world inspires children to think, question, make suppositions, instil problem-solving skills, and develop creative minds. Children can draw in the sand, make designs with twigs, build forts with branches, or simply lie on the ground and look up at the sky.</li><li>Advocate for the daydreamer: When kids daydream, they explore associations, make connections, and search for possibilities. Daydreaming and a bit of solitude for reflection are among the attributes of highly creative people.</li><li>Invent scenarios: Invent scenarios with your child. This way (s)he will try on lots of different roles and organise his/her thoughts while developing social and verbal skills. Encourage your child to play house, doctor, zoo, farm, space station, school, or store.</li><li>Verbal activities: From rhymes to riddles (check our rhymes and riddles content to get you started), silly sounds to phonics, games such as "I Spy" (and many more activities on our app), verbal interactive activities can inspire and nurture creative minds.</li><li>Encourage art activities: Through painting, sculpture, collage, clay, drawing or any other medium, art is a way for children to work through emotions, make decisions, and express their ideas.</li><li>Ask open-ended and thought-provoking questions: Asking questions that provoke imaginative and creative thinking is an effective way to invite your child to express his/her ideas and share his/her visions. "What do you think would happen if….?" "What's the difference between a dog and a cat?" "What are some other ways to do this?" are a few questions to get you started.</li><li>Limit screen time: Nurturing imagination and parenting in the digital age can be tough. Focusing on a screen is a passive way of learning for children. Engaging children in a kinesthetic manner using their entire bodies and their five senses helps in deep learning and also opens up their minds.</li><li>Remember to allow for downtime: Unstructured, unscheduled time allows children opportunities to imagine and create.</li><li>Limit electronic toys: Electronic toys don’t engage a child’s imagination and so children are simply better off playing with a basic wooden toy.</li><li>Ask questions about their creations: Kids have their own thought processes, and we can’t always see what they are thinking just by looking at something they’ve made. Ask them what they have created to help them articulate their process and the ideas behind what they thought of creating and what they ended up creating.</li><li>Respect: Respecting that each child has the right to be himself/herself and believing in his/her uniqueness builds your child’s confidence. Respect his/her imagination and fantasies.</li><li>Base on Values Not Rules: Too many rules hinder creativity. If you let your children decide their behaviour according to those values, creativity will flourish.</li></ol> Here are some examples of comments that nurture the creative environment:<ul><li>“It’s fun to try it different ways”</li><li>“Tell me about it”</li><li>“Let’s try it anyway”</li><li>“Have you thought of any alternatives?”</li><li>“I see you are having a lot of fun”</li></ul>

Creativity is at the epicentre of human exploration and discovery. Being creative helps children to look within themselves, take a pause and helps them to calm down.

Nurturing your child's Creativity

Being creative helps a child take a pause from the constant running about of life and makes them feel relaxed.

Nurturing your childs Creativity

Every individual has a different nature. When you believe that your partner is aggressive, that is their nature. And in very rare cases, can anyone change other person’s nature.<ul><li>When you notice that your child is being affected negatively because of your partner’s behaviour, you need to share this concern with your spouse. Tell your spouse calmly that because of their behaviour, your child is getting affected. While doing so, be careful to not do this in front of your child. Also, be careful to not portray your spouse as a devil in the eyes of your child.</li><li>In this case, your partner will have to mould their character for the child’s peace of mind. You will have to support your partner in making changes in their behaviour because in parenting, both the parties need to share equal responsibilities.</li><li>Help your partner find the underlying reason behind their aggression. Because aggression does not pop up suddenly. It is build-up anger and frustration. If it is because of work life, help them to achieve work-life balance. If something at home is bothering them, look for ways where you can change things to make things easier for them. If nothing works, it is better that they take up therapy. Therapy will help them with their personal issues and also improve their aggressive behaviour.</li><li>Your partner’s aggressive behaviour won’t pose much of a problem until it is non-violent. When an aggressive person, becomes violent, that’s when things can get out of hand. In this case, only a psychologist or a psychiatrist can help the person.</li></ul> On the other hand, explain to your child that sometimes they will encounter some people with aggressive nature. They need to develop the ways to cope up with such people. It is not necessary that aggressive people are bad at heart. Make your child understand that their parent is trying their best to make changes to their behaviour.

Aggressive partners make it difficult for children to live openly. Children usually stay away from aggressive parent and are affected negatively.

aggressive parent parenting concerns

Parenting issues are a part of the everyday parenting journey. Following article(s) might help you with your concern(s).

Dealing with an aggressive partner

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