A few things said in haste messes up a child's brain and have a considerable impact psychologically, like low self-confidence, self-doubt, anxiety, depression, and so much more. Throughout your parenting journey, make sure you are not saying things or acting out in a way that could damage your child(ren) mentally. Sometimes parents are not aware that their actions affect their child(ren) negatively, and sometimes parents overlook it and justify their bad behaviour due to their stress. Here are a few practices which you should avoid telling your child(ren): Pick these up right now. I don't want you leaving a mess like that again.Instead, say:&nbsp;I don't like this mess you are leaving. Can you please clean this up when you have time? You should know better.Instead, say:&nbsp;It's OK not to know some things. Here, I will help you out. You're a bad kid.Instead, say:&nbsp;Can you tell me why you behaved/acted in such a way? I feel it wasn't right, is there anything you want to talk about? Or Else.&nbsp;Example: Eat dinner, or else you won't get your dessert.Instead, say:&nbsp;How about you take a healthy dinner quickly so that we can all enjoy dessert together?&nbsp; Stop being shy.Instead, say:&nbsp;You can come to say hi to your aunt when you are ready. You should set a good example for your brother.Instead, say:&nbsp;Your brother looks up to you; you're such a good role model. Wait until your father/mother gets home.Instead, say:&nbsp;You're grounded because you said a bad word. I will never forgive you.Instead, say:&nbsp;What you did was not acceptable, but we can look past it and move on if you think the next time. I'm ashamed of you.Instead, say:&nbsp;Although I feel bad about what you did, I love you for who you are. Don't worry; everything will be OK.Instead, say:&nbsp;Mom and Dad are always nearby, and we're going to set up a plan in case of emergency. Here, I'll do it.Instead, say:&nbsp;Let's do it together!" Don't cryInstead, say:&nbsp;I know you're sad, and it's OK to cry. It's OK to let out your emotions. Let me hug you. If you don't clean your room, you're going to be in big trouble.Instead, say:&nbsp;When your room is clean, then you may go out to play. Family finances aren't your business.Instead, say:&nbsp;Finances are how we make and manage money, and when you like, we will teach you what we know. I'm disappointed in you.Instead, say:&nbsp;I'm surprised and was not expecting this to occur. Come here, NOW.Instead, say:&nbsp;It's almost time to go. Do you want one minute or two? Because I said so.Instead, say:&nbsp;Explaining why you feel a certain way about something. We can't afford that.Instead, say:&nbsp;We're not going to buy that because we're saving our money for more important things. Don't talk to strangers.Instead, say:&nbsp;What would you do if a man you don't know offers you candy and a ride home? OR If anyone makes you feel sad, scared, or confused, you need to tell me right away. You should listen to adults.Instead, say:&nbsp;You need to listen to your parents. Don't be greedy!Instead, say:&nbsp;Would you please be kind and share your toys with your friend? Who taught you this? (about mischief)Instead, say:&nbsp;Why did you do that? Look at this lovely girl.Instead, say:&nbsp;I love you. You can do this too. I do everything for you.Instead, say:&nbsp;We do things for you because we love you, so please do for me. Do I have to tell you this 100 times?Instead, say:&nbsp;I've told you this before, but could you please. That's only for boys/girls.Instead:&nbsp;Say nothing at all. Try your best at raising gender-neutral children. You live under my roof, so you follow my rules.Instead, say:&nbsp;You know the household rules. Please stick to them. That's how I was raised.Instead, say:&nbsp;I don't think it's a good idea to do [ ]. Even my parents used to tell me that [ ]. You're just like your mother/father!Instead say:&nbsp;I’m not happy with [ ] because [ ]. I told you so.Instead, say:&nbsp;I'm sorry to hear about [ ] ... let this be a lesson. It's just a little white lie.Instead, explain to them that it's OK to use white lies to be polite and not hurt someone's feelings. Explain to them the fine line between lies and little white lies. Man up. / Be a man.Never disregard your son's feelings. Don't teach them that showing emotions is weak. To show emotions is only human. Why can't you be more like your sister?Instead, say:&nbsp;I don't quite like this behaviour of yours. Do you think we can work on it? If you loved me, you wouldn't do (this/that).Don't teach them that love needs to be proven all the time. Love comes without ifs and buts. I wish you'd never been born. / I hate you.No matter how angry you are, this is the worst thing to say. You would be scarring your child. Why can't you do anything right?Instead, say: What's the barrier? Is there anything I can help you with? I don't believe you.Instead, say: This comes as a shock for me. But I am sure you can tell me the whole thing. There's nothing to be afraid of.Instead, say:&nbsp;Everyone has their fair share of fears. We appreciate that you shared your feelings with us. We promise we will work on this together. You're lazy/stupid/selfish.Never label your child. Never. Your friends don't do that.Comparison will never bring any positive change. Accept your child for who they are and appreciate them. You should have done better.Praise them for their achievement. Do not over expect. You don't know what you're talking about. / You're too young to know what you want.Often children know what they want or how they feel. Saying this will show your distrust in their feelings. You'll never be able to do that.Instead, encourage and push your child to do better, of course, without any comparison. You're so fat/skinny, or You're going to get fat/skinny.Never attribute a child's identity to their looks. You make me so mad.Calm your anger down, and then talk to your child(ren).&nbsp;Instead, say:&nbsp;We will talk about this after a while when I am in the right state of my mind. Impact of such phrases on children:<ol><li>Antisocial behaviour</li><li>Poor resilience</li><li>Depression</li><li>Aggression</li><li>Lack of empathy</li><li>Difficulty in relationships</li><li>Self-doubt</li><li>Lack of self-confidence</li><li>Anxiety</li></ol>

A few things said in haste messes up a child's brain and have a considerable impact psychologically, like low self-confidence, self-doubt, anxiety and so on

Speaking Gently: Things you should never say to your child

A few things said in haste messes up a child’s brain and have a huge impact psychologically.

Things You Should Never Say to Your Child

<h2>Here are the quick tips on How to tell a joke to kids.</h2> <h2>Remember, Jokes aren’t funny unless you tell them in a funny way. Read on to know more quick tips.</h2> <ul><li>Believe in the joke you are telling - If you think it's funny, kids are more likely to agree.</li><li>Relax - If you feel awkward, so will the kids.</li><li>Vary your voice - Monotone speech makes the joke boring.</li><li>Signal the punchline - A little pause adds to the suspense.</li><li>If they don't laugh, give up - Desperation isn't funny.</li><li>Believe in the joke you are telling - If you think it's funny, kids are more likely to agree.</li></ul>

Jokes aren’t funny unless you tell it in a funny way. Read on to know more quick tips

How to tell a joke to children that makes them laugh

Jokes aren’t funny unless you tell it in a funny way. Read on to know more quick tips

It's just a few days to your child's birthday and you are wondering if everything will go according to your plan or not. Well, here are a few things you can prepare beforehand so that on your child's special day you are not busy with organising and execution and are able to spend quality time with your child: <ul><li>If you're calling your child's friends over, make all the calls at least 3 days prior and take the confirmations so you can make the arrangements accordingly.</li><li>If you are planning to get food from outside, call the catering people and make appropriate arrangements for the special day.</li><li>If you are going to plan an activity for children, get all the materials for the same and keep everything in one place so that you don't have to rush around for everything on the day of celebration.</li><li>Get a house help for the whole day to help you with the arrangements prior to the celebration and also to help you tidy up the place post the celebrations.</li><li>Make your child try on the clothes and footwear before their birthday so that if any changes are to be made, they can be done within time.</li><li>Wind up all your personal/professional work one day prior to your child's birthday so that you can give your undivided attention to your child.</li></ul> If you are confused as to what you can do to make your child's birthday fulfilling, take a look at our 'Birthday Celebration Ideas' article to get some ideas.

Don't fuss about the preparations on the day of the celebration of the child's birthday, instead, see what you can manage prior to the celebration to make the day less stressful.

Preparing for your childs Birthday

Don't fuss about the preparations on the day of the celebration of your child's birthday, instead, see what all you can manage prior to the celebration to make the day less stressful.

Are we exhibiting what we want our kids to be? Call it a harsh reality but children rarely learn from what we preach, they learn from our actions. Take this for an example, an anonymous user on the internet confessed that her child would hit her younger sibling while playing. Her explanation in defence was, “We are playing ‘mommy”. We all aspire to become perfect parents for our kids because we want to inculcate values in them that would make them better human beings. But the larger and the more significant question is do we exhibit that kind of discipline in our behaviour? We expect our children to use modern-day gadgets judiciously but do we supervise our use of these products? We want our kids to watch their words and actions when angry but do we manage our anger appropriately? We want our kids to show decorum and discipline with their daily routine but are we exhibiting ourselves as an example to do the same? Dr Haim Ginott, a renowned child psychologist, pointed out, “Children are like wet cement. Whatever falls on them makes an impression.” If we give the child an environment of hostility he is more likely to learn to fight. An environment of ridicule and shame can lead to the child resulting being shy and guilty. But similarly, if the child had always lived with tolerance, he learns to become more patient. If he has always received praise, he learns the virtue of appreciation. What is important during the child’s growing years is that we model the kind of behaviour we expect our children to be. It is impossible to not be stressed or angry under circumstances. But when the parents manage their stress and anger appropriately, the message is loud and clear to the kids that it is normal to feel negative at times but it is only the positive attitude towards solving these problems that reap good results. Parents should ‘speak’ and ‘do’ what they expect out of their children. Saying statements like. “I love all kinds of food”, “I love playing outdoors”, “Let’s clean up the mess together”, “Let’s help little brother/sister with eating the food”. These kinds of statements bring about assurance in the kids and before indulging in the wrong they are forced to do what think what they have been taught. The brains of children are like sponges. They absorb everything without discriminating information into right or wrong. Let's set ourselves as better examples for our children. Let's exhibit what we want our children to be.

Are we exhibiting what we want our kids to be? Call it a harsh reality but children rarely learn from what we preach, they learn from our actions.

Children See Children Learn - The pillar of parenting

Being a positive role model for your child can help instil the right attitude and habits from an early age for your child to nurture a healthy lifestyle.

Children See Children Learn ~The pillar of parenting

If your child is laughing without any specific reason or if (s)he is talking, crying or staying silent way too much without any understandable reason, this might indicate that your child is unable to understand what is going on in a particular situation. When children have insecurity of being judged as someone who cannot gauge what is going around in his/her space, they react in a way in which people around them are not able to catch the fact that the child is not understanding anything happening around him/her. From the child’s perspective, (s)he feels, "Come on! I don’t get it. Why do you want me to understand everything”. They choose not to be vocal about how they feel. So they keep reacting in odd ways. Sometimes children are scared and think "If I go say that I don’t understand this and ask again, my parents will get angry and scold me.” You need to analyse the scenarios in which your child laughs too much. Ask you this question - Is this situation particularly funny and laughable or is my child just acting oddly because of (s)he lacks understanding of the situation? If you feel that your child lacks understanding, talk to them in private and ensure them that you are there to understand them and not mock them or be angry at them. Reassure them that if they don't feel right about anything, they can come to you and talk to you; there will be no judgements. If things are out of control and you cannot help manage your child's behaviour, you should consult a child psychologist who can help you solve this problem by taking steps in the right direction.

Pay attention to the situations in which your child laughs too much; this will help you to understand the problem better.

When a child laughs too much

Pay attention to the situations in which your child laughs too much; this will help you to understand the problem better.

Ravina Sewani

Authoritative parenting style; the parents are nurturing, responsive, and supportive, yet set firm limits for their children. They attempt to control children's behaviour by explaining rules, discussing, and reasoning. They listen to a child's viewpoint but don't always accept it. Children raised with this style tend to be friendly, energetic, cheerful, self-reliant, self-controlled, curious, cooperative and achievement-oriented. This parenting style generally produces the best outcomes in children. CharacteristicsParents in this style have high expectations, but also know the importance of open communication and provide the support their kids need to be successful. They offer consistent discipline, considering the situation. They also are role models of the behaviour they expect from their children. <ol><li>Responsive and demanding –&nbsp;Parents in this style have high expectations, but also know the importance of open communication. Parents support their kids to manage their behaviours. This approach is the most effective parenting style leading to the healthiest outcomes for children and thus the lowest difficulties scores.</li><li>Independent and self-reliant -&nbsp;Parents encourage children to be independent and develop their own identities, but at the same time, they also provide rules for their children. Due to the guidance children receive, the children tend to follow them consistently.</li><li>Higher academic performance -&nbsp;Parents support their children. Whether it's weekly homework or a particular project, they make themselves available and provide all the necessary tools for their children's success in school. They're present at school events and meetings. Their expectations for home and in school are consistent but reasonable and age-appropriate.</li><li>Open-minded -&nbsp;These parents are adaptable and willing to provide explanations. They help their children understand the reasoning behind specific rules. This type of openness and discussion helps their child develop good communication and social skills. They may also become more flexible and open-minded with others.</li><li>Reasonable emotional control and regulation -&nbsp;These parents show good emotional understanding and control. Their children also learn to manage their emotions and learn to understand others. Hence, it helps them to build healthy self-esteem and self-confidence.</li></ol> Effects on ChildrenThe authoritative parenting style takes a more balanced approach. Parents are neither bosses nor best buddies, but guides and mentors. Below are the impacts of authoritative parenting on a child: <ul><li>They learn to think&nbsp;independently and are very self-confident.</li><li>They can manage&nbsp;aggressive behaviour&nbsp;outside the home.</li><li>Children are also&nbsp;happy, capable and successful.</li><li>Achieve higher&nbsp;academic success.</li><li>Have&nbsp;better mental health&nbsp;— less depression, anxiety, suicide attempts, alcohol, and drug use.</li><li>Develop&nbsp;good social skills.</li><li>Exhibit&nbsp;less violent&nbsp;tendencies.</li><li>Children are&nbsp;well-adjusted and goal-oriented.</li></ul> Pros of Authoritarian ParentingWhen it comes to authoritative parenting, it's pretty much all good news! Parents communicate in confident, friendly and peaceful ways, and do not set goals based on the child's desires, but rather, based on past performances and achievements. Responsibility -&nbsp;Children who are raised by authoritative parents understand the responsibilities for the choices they make, which empowers them to make the right decisions.Respect -&nbsp;Children whose parents show them respect by allowing them individual freedoms are more likely to respect others. They often thrive in social settings and get along well in social life.Flexibility –&nbsp;Raising children using this style allows for more flexibility with age. As your child grows older, their needs and desires change. Thus, the child will grow with a better personality, which is more comfortable for the authoritative parent to deal with.Leadership -&nbsp;Because of their ability to make their own decisions, these children have the kind of confidence and savvy that allows them to take on leadership roles. Cons of Authoritarian ParentingOften in life, finding a balance between two alternatives is the best solution to a problem, and that's certainly the case here. But that doesn't mean that everything will be smooth sailing as long as you practice authoritative parenting. Rebellion -&nbsp;As they grow, kids go through typical phases of rebellion, anger and apathy. These phases may be incredibly tricky for authoritative parents, who naturally have high expectations of their children, and have tried hard to raise their kids the best way possible. Here, patience is the key to success.Low Self-Esteem –&nbsp;Some children may feel that their world is being controlled and they don't have the freedom to exercise their judgments and actions.Difficulty to Adapt -&nbsp;An authoritative parent tends to try to be the best parent possible at all stages of childhood, which can add more stress to parenthood. Hence there will be an issue in adapting and creating rules in different stages for child growth and development.

There isn’t a single formula for raising children well. After all, parenting isn’t an exact science. There’s definitely a bit of an art to good parenting. Authoritative parents carefully define limits for children, are good role models and praise children for their efforts.

authoritative parenting parenting concerns

Parenting issues are a part of the everyday parenting journey. Following article(s) might help you with your concern(s).

Authoritative Parenting

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