A few things said in haste messes up a child's brain and have a considerable impact psychologically, like low self-confidence, self-doubt, anxiety, depression, and so much more. Throughout your parenting journey, make sure you are not saying things or acting out in a way that could damage your child(ren) mentally. Sometimes parents are not aware that their actions affect their child(ren) negatively, and sometimes parents overlook it and justify their bad behaviour due to their stress. Here are a few practices which you should avoid telling your child(ren): Pick these up right now. I don't want you leaving a mess like that again.Instead, say:&nbsp;I don't like this mess you are leaving. Can you please clean this up when you have time? You should know better.Instead, say:&nbsp;It's OK not to know some things. Here, I will help you out. You're a bad kid.Instead, say:&nbsp;Can you tell me why you behaved/acted in such a way? I feel it wasn't right, is there anything you want to talk about? Or Else.&nbsp;Example: Eat dinner, or else you won't get your dessert.Instead, say:&nbsp;How about you take a healthy dinner quickly so that we can all enjoy dessert together?&nbsp; Stop being shy.Instead, say:&nbsp;You can come to say hi to your aunt when you are ready. You should set a good example for your brother.Instead, say:&nbsp;Your brother looks up to you; you're such a good role model. Wait until your father/mother gets home.Instead, say:&nbsp;You're grounded because you said a bad word. I will never forgive you.Instead, say:&nbsp;What you did was not acceptable, but we can look past it and move on if you think the next time. I'm ashamed of you.Instead, say:&nbsp;Although I feel bad about what you did, I love you for who you are. Don't worry; everything will be OK.Instead, say:&nbsp;Mom and Dad are always nearby, and we're going to set up a plan in case of emergency. Here, I'll do it.Instead, say:&nbsp;Let's do it together!" Don't cryInstead, say:&nbsp;I know you're sad, and it's OK to cry. It's OK to let out your emotions. Let me hug you. If you don't clean your room, you're going to be in big trouble.Instead, say:&nbsp;When your room is clean, then you may go out to play. Family finances aren't your business.Instead, say:&nbsp;Finances are how we make and manage money, and when you like, we will teach you what we know. I'm disappointed in you.Instead, say:&nbsp;I'm surprised and was not expecting this to occur. Come here, NOW.Instead, say:&nbsp;It's almost time to go. Do you want one minute or two? Because I said so.Instead, say:&nbsp;Explaining why you feel a certain way about something. We can't afford that.Instead, say:&nbsp;We're not going to buy that because we're saving our money for more important things. Don't talk to strangers.Instead, say:&nbsp;What would you do if a man you don't know offers you candy and a ride home? OR If anyone makes you feel sad, scared, or confused, you need to tell me right away. You should listen to adults.Instead, say:&nbsp;You need to listen to your parents. Don't be greedy!Instead, say:&nbsp;Would you please be kind and share your toys with your friend? Who taught you this? (about mischief)Instead, say:&nbsp;Why did you do that? Look at this lovely girl.Instead, say:&nbsp;I love you. You can do this too. I do everything for you.Instead, say:&nbsp;We do things for you because we love you, so please do for me. Do I have to tell you this 100 times?Instead, say:&nbsp;I've told you this before, but could you please. That's only for boys/girls.Instead:&nbsp;Say nothing at all. Try your best at raising gender-neutral children. You live under my roof, so you follow my rules.Instead, say:&nbsp;You know the household rules. Please stick to them. That's how I was raised.Instead, say:&nbsp;I don't think it's a good idea to do [ ]. Even my parents used to tell me that [ ]. You're just like your mother/father!Instead say:&nbsp;I’m not happy with [ ] because [ ]. I told you so.Instead, say:&nbsp;I'm sorry to hear about [ ] ... let this be a lesson. It's just a little white lie.Instead, explain to them that it's OK to use white lies to be polite and not hurt someone's feelings. Explain to them the fine line between lies and little white lies. Man up. / Be a man.Never disregard your son's feelings. Don't teach them that showing emotions is weak. To show emotions is only human. Why can't you be more like your sister?Instead, say:&nbsp;I don't quite like this behaviour of yours. Do you think we can work on it? If you loved me, you wouldn't do (this/that).Don't teach them that love needs to be proven all the time. Love comes without ifs and buts. I wish you'd never been born. / I hate you.No matter how angry you are, this is the worst thing to say. You would be scarring your child. Why can't you do anything right?Instead, say: What's the barrier? Is there anything I can help you with? I don't believe you.Instead, say: This comes as a shock for me. But I am sure you can tell me the whole thing. There's nothing to be afraid of.Instead, say:&nbsp;Everyone has their fair share of fears. We appreciate that you shared your feelings with us. We promise we will work on this together. You're lazy/stupid/selfish.Never label your child. Never. Your friends don't do that.Comparison will never bring any positive change. Accept your child for who they are and appreciate them. You should have done better.Praise them for their achievement. Do not over expect. You don't know what you're talking about. / You're too young to know what you want.Often children know what they want or how they feel. Saying this will show your distrust in their feelings. You'll never be able to do that.Instead, encourage and push your child to do better, of course, without any comparison. You're so fat/skinny, or You're going to get fat/skinny.Never attribute a child's identity to their looks. You make me so mad.Calm your anger down, and then talk to your child(ren).&nbsp;Instead, say:&nbsp;We will talk about this after a while when I am in the right state of my mind. Impact of such phrases on children:<ol><li>Antisocial behaviour</li><li>Poor resilience</li><li>Depression</li><li>Aggression</li><li>Lack of empathy</li><li>Difficulty in relationships</li><li>Self-doubt</li><li>Lack of self-confidence</li><li>Anxiety</li></ol>

A few things said in haste messes up a child's brain and have a considerable impact psychologically, like low self-confidence, self-doubt, anxiety and so on

Speaking Gently: Things you should never say to your child

A few things said in haste messes up a child’s brain and have a huge impact psychologically.

Things You Should Never Say to Your Child

It's time to get creative and know that your children will remember the fun, no matter what you end up doing.&nbsp; <ul><li>Balloon Balloon:</li></ul>Kids love balloons so wake them to lots of balloons. Stand over the bed and shower them with a laundry basket full of balloons and pieces of curled ribbon. Or scatter balloons in their room after they've fallen asleep the night before so they wake up to a sea of colour.<img src="https://bee-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com/image/birthday-balloons-in-room-2.jpg_image_1637134022133.jpg" width="309" style="cursor: nesw-resize;"> <ul><li>Make a Paper Crown:</li></ul>Decorative paper, scissors, and a small piece of tape are all you need to craft a cute crown for your birthday king or queen. Sticking with the royal theme, let your child choose a title or name they'd like to be called for the day.<img src="https://bee-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com/image/papercrown-main.jpg_image_1637134039436.jpg" width="310" style=""> <ul><li>Dress in their Favourite Colour:</li></ul>Favourite colours are a big deal to kids. The whole family dressing in their favourite colour is a beautiful sight to smile for them.<img src="https://bee-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com/image/photo-1511348547654-09ef00c65feb.jfif_image_1637142205348.jfif" width="312" style=""> <ul><li>Let them Decorate the Cake:</li></ul>Make a cake or buy one and allow your child to do the decoration. They can include their older siblings and do the teamwork. Provide them with chocolate chips, icing sugar, colourful gems, whipped cream. They would enjoy it so much.<img src="https://bee-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com/image/toddler-decorating-cake.jpg_image_1637134398150.jpg" width="313" style=""> <ul><li>Treasure Hunt:</li></ul>Play treasure hunt with them. You can hide their gifts in different places and leave clues for them to search for it. It's always fun to figure out riddles and clues.<img src="https://bee-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com/image/1155287281-1024x700.jpg_image_1637134817639.jpg" width="312" style=""> <ul><li>Watch their Favourite Movie:</li></ul>Kids love to watch their favourite movie again and again. Fix some time and all the family and friends&nbsp;can have a small get-together followed by a movie night. You all can book a mini theatre and have more fun.<img src="https://bee-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com/image/homes_outdoor_theaters_02474.jpg-df9a7-1226x0-c-default.jpg_image_1637135064640.jpg" width="313"><ul><li>Size Them Up:</li></ul>Each year, mark their height on the wall, take their hand-prints or take a photo in the same spot so you can see how much they grow and change each year.<img src="https://bee-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com/image/74e1c2f084a4a242417979fab7d0f59a.jpg_image_1637138211985.jpg" width="105" style=""><img src="https://bee-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com/image/img_1974.jpg_image_1637138084741.jpg" width="212" style=""> <ul><li>Gift Hamper:</li></ul>Give a birthday gift hamper with all the little things the child has ever asked for once in a while, like some small toy, pencil, stopwatch, globe or some book of their favourite character. Sometimes picking up little things they told you once makes them happier and they feel heard and very special.<img src="https://bee-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com/image/adobestock_85273473.jpeg_image_1637141848847.jpeg" width="309" style=""><ul><li>Decorate with Pictures:</li></ul>Fill a wall or a sheet of poster board with some of your favourite photos of the birthday kid from birth to present day, or just from the past year.<img src="https://bee-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com/image/birthday-party-decoration-500x500.jpeg_image_1637138745386.jpeg" width="307" style=""><ul><li>Write and Give Letters:</li></ul>Write an annual birthday letter to your child highlighting special moments and milestones from the year. You can also write letters to your child throughout the year and gift them together on his birthday. The letters may have funny interesting incidents and events. There are so many fun things you can do together with your child to make their birthday special. And enjoy to the fullest.<img src="https://bee-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com/image/1200-173940516-child-giving-card.jpg_image_1637139010443.jpg" width="306"> Shower them with lots and lots of Love.

It's time to get creative and know that your children will remember the fun, no matter what you end up doing. Start with creative decorations, balloons, gifts, cake designs, and party games.

Creative Birthday Celebration Ideas for Children

Your child's birthday is special not just for your child but for you as well. Try keeping it minimal but yet full of memories.﻿

<ul><li>Make sure to get your child fully checked before the winter starts.</li><li>Make sure that all heating appliances like geysers &amp; heaters are in working condition.</li><li>Adequate warm clothing is essential but makes sure to NOT over-dress your baby as it can be extremely uncomfortable for him/her. Several thin layers will keep them dry and warm. Always remember to make them warm boots, gloves or mittens, and a hat. The rule of thumb for older babies and young children is to dress them in one more layer of clothing than an adult would wear in the same conditions.</li><li>Give warm water baths to your child. Make sure that there is a balance between the bathroom and the bedroom temperature so that your child does not get uncomfortable after the bath.</li><li>There should be no gusts of cold winds when you are bathing your baby.</li><li>Give adequate necessary vitamins and nutrients essential for proper growth to your child.</li><li>When riding/travelling in a car, make them wear thin, snug layers rather than thick, bulky coats or snowsuits.</li><li>Use sleep clothing for babies like warm one-piece sleepers or wearable blankets instead of loose bedding like blankets, quilts, pillows, bumpers, and sheepskins as they are a cause of suffocating deaths.</li><li>If a blanket must be used to keep a sleeping infant warm, it should be thin and tucked under the crib mattress, reaching only as far as the baby's chest.</li><li>Prevent cold and flu by getting kids to:</li></ul>-Use soap and water: Washing their hands frequently will reduce the spread of germs.-Cover their mouth: Sneezing or coughing into the bend of their elbows also helps prevent the spreading of germs.-Get immunised: Keep vaccinations current, including the flu shot.<ul><li>Include soup in your baby’s diet. A healthy soup in cold weather will keep your baby warm.</li><li>Maintain your own hygiene: Make sure to wash and sanitise your hands before you attend to your baby every time. You need to stay healthy so that your child does not catch any infections because of you.</li><li>Use a Humidifier: When using a heating apparatus during winters it could rob the room of water vapour, making the air dry as well as your child’s skin. Hence, install a humidifier in the room so that the moisture levels are maintained.</li><li>Make use of a moisturiser for your baby as your little one's skin will be extremely sensitive and the harsh atmosphere of the winter can make it dry. Opt for skin creams or moisturisers that are made for the baby’s skin.</li><li>Protect your child from hypothermia. Hypothermia develops when a child's temperature falls below normal due to exposure to colder temperatures. As hypothermia sets in, the child may shiver and become lethargic and clumsy.&nbsp;Speech may become slurred.</li><li>If you suspect your child is hypothermic, call for an emergency at once. Until help arrives, take the child indoors, remove any wet clothing, and wrap him/her in blankets or warm clothes.</li><li>Another thing to keep your baby safe from is frostbite. Frostbite happens when the skin and outer tissues become frozen.&nbsp;This condition tends to happen on extremities like the fingers, toes, ears and nose.&nbsp;They may become pale, grey and blistered. At the same time, the child may complain that his/her skin burns or has become numb.</li><li>If you suspect frostbite, bring the child indoors and place the frostbite parts of his/her body in warm (not hot) water. Warm washcloths may be applied to frostbitten noses, ears and lips. Do not rub the frozen areas. After a few minutes, dry and cover the child with clothing or blankets. Give him/her something warm to drink. If the numbness continues for more than a few minutes, call your doctor.</li></ul>

Taking the right precautionary steps before the arrival of any season will keep your baby safe and healthy.

Winter Precautions for Babies

Taking the right precautionary steps before the arrival of any season will keep your baby safe and healthy.

Precautions for Babies During the Winter Season

Following are a few tips to keep in mind while you babyproof the house: <ol><li>Keep the bathrooms locked at all times.</li><li>Lock and hasp on doors in rooms and bathrooms should be shifted up (at the height of an adult’s head).</li><li>Keep the cribs at the lowest height because as children advance developmentally, they tend to launch themselves out of the crib.</li><li>Change the positions of electrical boards, keep them high so that they are out of a child’s reach.</li><li>Check the sharp corners and cover them with soft rubber. Stick rubber cover at the corners of kitchen tables, beds, dining tables and TV units.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</li><li>If you are living in a double storied house, fix a small door on the staircase. This will ensure the baby doesn't crawl and climb up.</li><li>If the child is using a walker make sure there is no bump or slope on the floor.</li><li>Keep the heavy objects, sharp objects, glass objects and such hazardous objects out of reach of the child.</li><li>Keep the use of rugs at a minimum as children tend to slip because of them. If you do use rugs, put non-slip pads beneath them.</li><li>Unplug all electrical appliances when not in use.</li><li>Put all the sharp objects of the kitchen in cupboards.</li><li>Remove table cloths if any.</li><li>Install safety guards on windows and doors.</li><li>Make sure there's no water spilt anywhere in the house.</li><li>Do not paint or renovate the house immediately after the baby arrives home. The chemicals are harmful to the baby. Wait a few years and then make the required changes.</li></ol>

Children are curious by nature and they will explore everything you have in the house. So it's better to keep a check on all the things you have in the house before the baby arrives.

How to baby proof your house: 15 baby proofing tips 

Children are curious by nature and they will explore everything you have in the house. So it's better to keep a check on all the things you have in the house before the baby arrives.

15 Tips to baby proof your house

Kids tend to avoid healthy food due to the high taste levels of junk food. These activities will be a great help to develop their interest in food:<ul><li>Take them for grocery shopping.</li><li>Cook and Bake with them; there is nothing more exciting than this.</li><li>Teach them gardening - grow foods in your backyard.</li><li>Place the food on the plate in the colours of a rainbow; this way you can include all sorts of food on your child's plate. The easiest way is to prepare a food salad or a vegetable salad.</li><li>Hide vegetables and fruits in an opaque box or carry bag and ask the child to close their eyes. Then ask them to put their hand inside the bag, pick up food, feel it and then try to identify the vegetable/fruit through its texture. You can do this activity separately for vegetables and fruits to make it easier for your child.</li><li>Food obstacle course activity. Design an obstacle course in your house where you place different fruits/vegetables as obstacles. The child will have to eat a small portion of that vegetable or fruit before advancing forward. You can carry out this activity in a group and it will be a lot more fun.</li><li>Weave a story around fruits and vegetables and narrate those during their mealtime; check out food-related stories on our app.</li><li>Sing them songs/rhymes about food; you can a few songs related to food on our app.</li></ul> Keep in mind:<ul><li>Do not give them screens during mealtime; this way they will know what they are eating and will appreciate the food on their plates.</li><li>Let them have their favourite snack or dessert once in a while. But do not use them as treats for eating the food that they like less.</li></ul>

Thinking of interesting ways to present food to your child(ren) will make them eat all types of food.

Activities to encourage and develop child's interest in food

Thinking of interesting ways to present food to your child(ren) will make them eat all types of food.

Activities to develop your child interest in food

Ravina Sewani

Parenting is a huge responsibility. And conflicts between you and your spouse due to different parenting styles is bound to happen because you will not agree on everything 100% all the time. The important thing here is to resolve the conflict and look past it and take the steps which are best for your child(ren). You and your spouse need to be on the same page and not be rigid and think, “My way is right. Your way is wrong.” A person’s parenting style is influenced by the way they were parented, their hopes, fears, and expectations from their child(ren), gender roles, cultural background, community, religion, politics, and socioeconomic status. Hence, it is a given fact that you and your spouse will have parenting style conflicts because you both were parented in a different way.Parenting conflicts also leaves children clueless as to what is expected out of them and how they are supposed to behave. Resolving the conflict:<ul><li>Inconsistency</li></ul>Both the parents have different rules and expectations for their child’s discipline, their routine, and their choices. Mom might say that a child cannot watch TV until the homework is done but dad might be completely okay with that. Because of such conflicts and inconsistencies, one parent inevitably undermines the authority of the other. Children are smart to catch up on your inconsistencies and will begin to either manipulate either of the parents for their good or will have more behavioural problems in future. Resolving this problem requires you and your spouse to be completely honest with each other about what your rules and expectations are. Write them down, review them and be sure they are workable. In areas in which you differ, find a compromise that you both can live with - and stick by it.<ul><li>Confusion</li></ul>Putting off the important discussions and decisions about matters like how much freedom is appropriate for the child, leaves the child puzzled and stressed as to what is expected of them. You and your spouse need to communicate about what is acceptable and what is not. You need to take the decisions and let your child(ren) know so that a child knows how to behave in the family.<ul><li>Competition</li></ul>It’s not only kids who feel that their parents love the other one more. Sometimes the tables turn, and there’s a rivalry between parents over their children’s attention and love. Children get stuck sometimes when the father wants to do something with the children (eg. go for fishing) and the mother wants them to do something else (eg. to tidy up the house). In such situations, children have to choose one over the other even if they don’t want to. To resolve this, parents need to find ways to be cooperative, not competitive, with each other. This doesn't mean that you have to agree or compromise on everything; but that you need to go with what’s the best for the child and the family as a whole. Sometimes the father can let go and the mother can do the same.<ul><li>Overt Conflict</li></ul>When parents have arguments over what’s right for their child(ren) and cannot come to a conclusion, one parent eventually gives in. This is not healthy as the parents at some later time are bound to have arguments over something else and this time, the arguments might heat up because of a previously unresolved issue. To resolve this, parents need to learn the skills of conflict resolution. These include:ListeningClarifying points of differenceTaking each other's feelings seriouslyGenerating alternative solutions togetherNegotiating<ul><li>Back Each Other Up</li></ul>Always present yourself as a team in front of your child(ren). Make it a rule that if one parent disciplines a child, the other parent must back it up, even if the other parent disagrees with the punishment. Later, when things are calm, you and your spouse can discuss alternate ways of handling things in private. If you don’t back each other up, your child will undermine your authority as parents. Every time you argue with your spouse over parenting, the focus shifts away from where it should be—your child’s behaviour.<ul><li>Go with the Gut</li></ul>When you and your spouse disagree on an issue and you can’t seem to find a compromise, then try to defer to the parent who feels more strongly about it. When one of the parent has a very strong positive/negative feeling about a child’s matter, the other parent should go along and trust the feelings of the other. For examples, you can say, “I feel so strongly about this. I’d like you to support me on this, even if you don’t see it the same way.”<ul><li>Empathise with your child, but don’t undermine your spouse</li></ul>If you don’t agree to what your spouse feels but nonetheless decide to ahead with their decision, never put down your spouse’s decision while siding with the child. For example, when your child wants to have a toy. You are ready but your spouse is not and at the end of the day you go ahead with not buying the toy for your child. This is what you can say to your child, “I know it’s hard for you when we won’t let you buy what you want. But be assured that we have the best interests for you at heart.” Tell your child that this is a joint decision even if behind closed doors, you and your spouse don’t completely agree.<ul><li>Take decisions when things are calm</li></ul>Talk about parenting decisions when you are calm and can listen to one another’s perspective without being angry or sarcastic. Calm makes it is easier for you to discuss things with respect. When the argument heats up, take a time-out and discuss things later. Don’t be hostile while discussing things with your partner. Hostility isn’t just yelling and fighting. Hostility can include sarcasm, dismissive comments, put-downs, subtle threats, and other forms of damaging communication.<ul><li>Understand each other’s family history</li></ul>Everyone is parented and brought up in a different way. This also influences the way we parent children. When you and your spouse don’t agree on something, try and understand what was your spouse’s childhood like, how was your spouse parented. You can tell them about your parenting and childhood as well. This way you will be able to understand why the other way parents in a particular way. This will help you to decide what is the best for your child quickly and without any chaos.<ul><li>Learn about parenting together</li></ul>Read parenting books and discuss them, or join a parenting support group. Select parenting experts you both trust.<ul><li>Accept your mistake</li></ul>Being stubborn and not accepting a mistake you have made and blaming your spouse can make your spouse angry. If you are wrong, be gracious enough to accept it.<ul><li>Forgive your spouse’s mistake</li></ul>If your spouse made a mistake, learn to forgive and forget. Once you have forgiven, don’t ever bring up the issue again. Never bring up past issues as they make things bitter.<ul><li>Get professional help</li></ul>If you feel like you’ve tried everything and are still not able to get on the same page with your spouse, you may need some professional help in the form of a therapist.

Every individual has different thought and opinions hence arguments between parents regarding the parenting of their child(ren) are bound to happen. But that doesn't mean that there's not a way out.

Resolving Parenting Conflict due to different Parenting Styles

Read the article to know how you can resolve the differences between you and your spouse because of different parenting styles.

behaviour concerns parenting advices

Read the article to know how you can resolve the differences between you and your spouse because of different parenting styles.

Resolving Parenting Conflict due to different Parenting Styles

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