A few things said in haste messes up a child's brain and have a considerable impact psychologically, like low self-confidence, self-doubt, anxiety, depression, and so much more. Throughout your parenting journey, make sure you are not saying things or acting out in a way that could damage your child(ren) mentally. Sometimes parents are not aware that their actions affect their child(ren) negatively, and sometimes parents overlook it and justify their bad behaviour due to their stress. Here are a few practices which you should avoid telling your child(ren): Pick these up right now. I don't want you leaving a mess like that again.Instead, say:&nbsp;I don't like this mess you are leaving. Can you please clean this up when you have time? You should know better.Instead, say:&nbsp;It's OK not to know some things. Here, I will help you out. You're a bad kid.Instead, say:&nbsp;Can you tell me why you behaved/acted in such a way? I feel it wasn't right, is there anything you want to talk about? Or Else.&nbsp;Example: Eat dinner, or else you won't get your dessert.Instead, say:&nbsp;How about you take a healthy dinner quickly so that we can all enjoy dessert together?&nbsp; Stop being shy.Instead, say:&nbsp;You can come to say hi to your aunt when you are ready. You should set a good example for your brother.Instead, say:&nbsp;Your brother looks up to you; you're such a good role model. Wait until your father/mother gets home.Instead, say:&nbsp;You're grounded because you said a bad word. I will never forgive you.Instead, say:&nbsp;What you did was not acceptable, but we can look past it and move on if you think the next time. I'm ashamed of you.Instead, say:&nbsp;Although I feel bad about what you did, I love you for who you are. Don't worry; everything will be OK.Instead, say:&nbsp;Mom and Dad are always nearby, and we're going to set up a plan in case of emergency. Here, I'll do it.Instead, say:&nbsp;Let's do it together!" Don't cryInstead, say:&nbsp;I know you're sad, and it's OK to cry. It's OK to let out your emotions. Let me hug you. If you don't clean your room, you're going to be in big trouble.Instead, say:&nbsp;When your room is clean, then you may go out to play. Family finances aren't your business.Instead, say:&nbsp;Finances are how we make and manage money, and when you like, we will teach you what we know. I'm disappointed in you.Instead, say:&nbsp;I'm surprised and was not expecting this to occur. Come here, NOW.Instead, say:&nbsp;It's almost time to go. Do you want one minute or two? Because I said so.Instead, say:&nbsp;Explaining why you feel a certain way about something. We can't afford that.Instead, say:&nbsp;We're not going to buy that because we're saving our money for more important things. Don't talk to strangers.Instead, say:&nbsp;What would you do if a man you don't know offers you candy and a ride home? OR If anyone makes you feel sad, scared, or confused, you need to tell me right away. You should listen to adults.Instead, say:&nbsp;You need to listen to your parents. Don't be greedy!Instead, say:&nbsp;Would you please be kind and share your toys with your friend? Who taught you this? (about mischief)Instead, say:&nbsp;Why did you do that? Look at this lovely girl.Instead, say:&nbsp;I love you. You can do this too. I do everything for you.Instead, say:&nbsp;We do things for you because we love you, so please do for me. Do I have to tell you this 100 times?Instead, say:&nbsp;I've told you this before, but could you please. That's only for boys/girls.Instead:&nbsp;Say nothing at all. Try your best at raising gender-neutral children. You live under my roof, so you follow my rules.Instead, say:&nbsp;You know the household rules. Please stick to them. That's how I was raised.Instead, say:&nbsp;I don't think it's a good idea to do [ ]. Even my parents used to tell me that [ ]. You're just like your mother/father!Instead say:&nbsp;I’m not happy with [ ] because [ ]. I told you so.Instead, say:&nbsp;I'm sorry to hear about [ ] ... let this be a lesson. It's just a little white lie.Instead, explain to them that it's OK to use white lies to be polite and not hurt someone's feelings. Explain to them the fine line between lies and little white lies. Man up. / Be a man.Never disregard your son's feelings. Don't teach them that showing emotions is weak. To show emotions is only human. Why can't you be more like your sister?Instead, say:&nbsp;I don't quite like this behaviour of yours. Do you think we can work on it? If you loved me, you wouldn't do (this/that).Don't teach them that love needs to be proven all the time. Love comes without ifs and buts. I wish you'd never been born. / I hate you.No matter how angry you are, this is the worst thing to say. You would be scarring your child. Why can't you do anything right?Instead, say: What's the barrier? Is there anything I can help you with? I don't believe you.Instead, say: This comes as a shock for me. But I am sure you can tell me the whole thing. There's nothing to be afraid of.Instead, say:&nbsp;Everyone has their fair share of fears. We appreciate that you shared your feelings with us. We promise we will work on this together. You're lazy/stupid/selfish.Never label your child. Never. Your friends don't do that.Comparison will never bring any positive change. Accept your child for who they are and appreciate them. You should have done better.Praise them for their achievement. Do not over expect. You don't know what you're talking about. / You're too young to know what you want.Often children know what they want or how they feel. Saying this will show your distrust in their feelings. You'll never be able to do that.Instead, encourage and push your child to do better, of course, without any comparison. You're so fat/skinny, or You're going to get fat/skinny.Never attribute a child's identity to their looks. You make me so mad.Calm your anger down, and then talk to your child(ren).&nbsp;Instead, say:&nbsp;We will talk about this after a while when I am in the right state of my mind. Impact of such phrases on children:<ol><li>Antisocial behaviour</li><li>Poor resilience</li><li>Depression</li><li>Aggression</li><li>Lack of empathy</li><li>Difficulty in relationships</li><li>Self-doubt</li><li>Lack of self-confidence</li><li>Anxiety</li></ol>

A few things said in haste messes up a child's brain and have a considerable impact psychologically, like low self-confidence, self-doubt, anxiety and so on

Speaking Gently: Things you should never say to your child

A few things said in haste messes up a child’s brain and have a huge impact psychologically.

Things You Should Never Say to Your Child

It's time to get creative and know that your children will remember the fun, no matter what you end up doing.&nbsp; <ul><li>Balloon Balloon:</li></ul>Kids love balloons so wake them to lots of balloons. Stand over the bed and shower them with a laundry basket full of balloons and pieces of curled ribbon. Or scatter balloons in their room after they've fallen asleep the night before so they wake up to a sea of colour.<img src="https://bee-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com/image/birthday-balloons-in-room-2.jpg_image_1637134022133.jpg" width="309" style="cursor: nesw-resize;"> <ul><li>Make a Paper Crown:</li></ul>Decorative paper, scissors, and a small piece of tape are all you need to craft a cute crown for your birthday king or queen. Sticking with the royal theme, let your child choose a title or name they'd like to be called for the day.<img src="https://bee-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com/image/papercrown-main.jpg_image_1637134039436.jpg" width="310" style=""> <ul><li>Dress in their Favourite Colour:</li></ul>Favourite colours are a big deal to kids. The whole family dressing in their favourite colour is a beautiful sight to smile for them.<img src="https://bee-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com/image/photo-1511348547654-09ef00c65feb.jfif_image_1637142205348.jfif" width="312" style=""> <ul><li>Let them Decorate the Cake:</li></ul>Make a cake or buy one and allow your child to do the decoration. They can include their older siblings and do the teamwork. Provide them with chocolate chips, icing sugar, colourful gems, whipped cream. They would enjoy it so much.<img src="https://bee-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com/image/toddler-decorating-cake.jpg_image_1637134398150.jpg" width="313" style=""> <ul><li>Treasure Hunt:</li></ul>Play treasure hunt with them. You can hide their gifts in different places and leave clues for them to search for it. It's always fun to figure out riddles and clues.<img src="https://bee-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com/image/1155287281-1024x700.jpg_image_1637134817639.jpg" width="312" style=""> <ul><li>Watch their Favourite Movie:</li></ul>Kids love to watch their favourite movie again and again. Fix some time and all the family and friends&nbsp;can have a small get-together followed by a movie night. You all can book a mini theatre and have more fun.<img src="https://bee-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com/image/homes_outdoor_theaters_02474.jpg-df9a7-1226x0-c-default.jpg_image_1637135064640.jpg" width="313"><ul><li>Size Them Up:</li></ul>Each year, mark their height on the wall, take their hand-prints or take a photo in the same spot so you can see how much they grow and change each year.<img src="https://bee-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com/image/74e1c2f084a4a242417979fab7d0f59a.jpg_image_1637138211985.jpg" width="105" style=""><img src="https://bee-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com/image/img_1974.jpg_image_1637138084741.jpg" width="212" style=""> <ul><li>Gift Hamper:</li></ul>Give a birthday gift hamper with all the little things the child has ever asked for once in a while, like some small toy, pencil, stopwatch, globe or some book of their favourite character. Sometimes picking up little things they told you once makes them happier and they feel heard and very special.<img src="https://bee-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com/image/adobestock_85273473.jpeg_image_1637141848847.jpeg" width="309" style=""><ul><li>Decorate with Pictures:</li></ul>Fill a wall or a sheet of poster board with some of your favourite photos of the birthday kid from birth to present day, or just from the past year.<img src="https://bee-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com/image/birthday-party-decoration-500x500.jpeg_image_1637138745386.jpeg" width="307" style=""><ul><li>Write and Give Letters:</li></ul>Write an annual birthday letter to your child highlighting special moments and milestones from the year. You can also write letters to your child throughout the year and gift them together on his birthday. The letters may have funny interesting incidents and events. There are so many fun things you can do together with your child to make their birthday special. And enjoy to the fullest.<img src="https://bee-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com/image/1200-173940516-child-giving-card.jpg_image_1637139010443.jpg" width="306"> Shower them with lots and lots of Love.

It's time to get creative and know that your children will remember the fun, no matter what you end up doing. Start with creative decorations, balloons, gifts, cake designs, and party games.

Creative Birthday Celebration Ideas for Children

Your child's birthday is special not just for your child but for you as well. Try keeping it minimal but yet full of memories.﻿

Parenting is a process, not a learned behaviour. Raising a child in a nuclear family requires several measures, the most important of all being the sharing of responsibilities between both the parents equally.<ul><li>Children in a nuclear family are more confident as they are more independent compared to children raised in joint families.</li><li>A joint family offers a lot of family time, so parents in a nuclear family should properly schedule their day to assure sufficient and efficient time for kids in the family.</li><li>Being in a nuclear family brings many responsibilities on parents’ shoulders. This might drain you out, more if you are a working parent. This draining out will make you frustrated sometimes but it is very important to stay positive in front of your parents. The serious discussions can be limited to bedrooms between you and your spouse.</li><li>If you live in a nuclear family, it is important to maintain good ties with the extended family. This is because they will be at your help to look after your child when you cannot be present for your child.</li><li>Instead of relying on gadgets, invest in educational play boxes for your child which will aid your child’s intellectual development.</li><li>Involve your kids in household chores. Nothing can be a better way to spend quality time with your kids. This also develops emotional, motor, social skills in your child.</li><li>Make sure to plan outings – even to the nearest park – once in a while. This will help you ease a bit and also give your child the time to bond with you.</li></ul> In the end, it is up to parents to weigh the pros and cons of raising a child in joint and nuclear families and then decide what’s best for their child(ren).

A nuclear family or elementary family or conjugal family is essentially a family which has parents (mother and father) and children.

Parenting in a nuclear or conjugal family

A nuclear family or elementary family or conjugal family is essentially a family which has parents (mother and father) and children.

Parenting in a nuclear family

In a joint family, every member takes their turn to nurture and nourish the child. Joint families are a boon to working parents or otherwise too. Children get to learn to respond and interact with others, adapt to changes and people. Raising a child in a joint family also becomes a bit easier on the mother because of the whole support system. Like every coin has two sides, bringing up a child in a joint family also has its own set of pros and cons. <ul><li>A joint family has too many authoritative figures which usually can give contradicting signals to a child. In a joint family, the same message should come from all the adults in the family. If jumping on the bed is not allowed, then the same message should come from both parents and grandparents.</li><li>It Is given that the parenting styles of grandparents and parents are going to differ. And when the differences arise, children are quick to catch those. So whenever you feel conflicts arising, it is better to sit down and talk about the differences when the child is NOT around. Set ground rules about raising your child.</li><li>In a joint family, a child learns good family values from the elder family members.</li><li>Children in a joint family are less hooked on gadgets as everyone in the family is ready to cater to their needs, be it emotional, social, physical, or in academics.</li><li>Making decisions for a child might get conflicting in the joint families as the grandparents tend to impose their thoughts and opinions. Sure, at times the help and insights are great but at the end of the day, it is solely the right of parents to decide the best for their child.</li></ul> In the end, it is up to parents to weigh the pros and cons of raising a child in joint and nuclear families and then decide what’s best for their child(ren).

A joint family is a large family where the grandparents, father, mother, uncle, aunt and their children live unitedly under one roof.

Parenting in a Joint Family | Types of Family

A joint family is a large family where the grandparents, father, mother, uncle, aunt and their children live unitedly under one roof.

Parenting in a Joint Family

<ul><li>Protect your child from too much sun. The sun's rays are strongest between 10 AM and 4 PM so avoid taking your child out during these hours.</li><li>If you plan to take your child outside, apply sunscreen to them which provides protection against UV rays. Apply sunscreen 30 minutes before going outside. Reapply every two hours and after being in the water or sweating. Use sunscreen on cloudy days too as the sun’s rays pass through the clouds as well. Do not skip sunscreen if you are taking your child out; only skip if your child is wearing clothes that cover his/her entire body.</li><li>If your baby is less than a year old, keep them out of the sun as much as you can. Dress your baby in lightweight, light-coloured clothing with long sleeves and long pants. Make sure to cover their head.</li><li>Select sunglasses for babies and children that provide 100% UV protection.</li><li>When it is too hot and humid, children should not play outside or exercise for more than 30 minutes at a time.</li><li>Make sure your child drinks plenty of fluids even if they are not thirsty. Water is best of all. Dehydration can cause fatigue and muscle cramping.</li><li>Keep your child covered at all times when outside or sit in the shade as your child’s sensitive skin can get a sunburn. If your child gets sunburn, the best remedy is to use a cold compress for the affected area. If it’s too much, consult a doctor.</li><li>Never leave your kids unattended in a closed car even for a few minutes and even if the windows are open. The temperature inside a closed car increases too quickly and can be fatal for a child.</li></ul>

Taking the right precautionary steps before the arrival of any season will keep your baby safe and healthy.

Handy Summer Care and Tips For Babies

Taking the right precautionary steps before the arrival of any season will keep your baby safe and healthy.

Summer Precautions for Babies

Palak Vyas

As a parent you can follow following steps to successfully wean off your child of pacifiers: <ul><li>Step 1: Start by not having a pacifier handy throughout the day when they want one, it could be a little hard in the beginning but continue your efforts. Let others in the house as well as caregivers know that you are trying to wean off your child of pacifiers so they can support you.</li></ul> <ul><li>Step 2: Offer a comforting substitute such as a special toy, stuffed animal or blanket. At bed time, begin emphasising the need for the substituted object over the pacifier. For example: Where is your Bunny? Let’s get him to sleep with us.</li></ul> <ul><li>Step 3: Once they have successfully reduced the use of pacifier, introduce the idea to your child that now they are a big boy/girl. They don’t need a pacifier anymore and let’s give them to someone who needs- some little baby around or say some squirrel or birdie.</li></ul> <ul><li>Step 4: Use positive reinforcement, that is, by praising your child when he / she has successfully gone without pacifier.</li></ul> FUN FACT: Sucking is an instinct and sometimes occurs even before birth.

Pacifiers and milk bottles if not weaned off at the right age, can last up to many years.

Weaning off pacifiers and milk bottles

Pacifier is something which is going to be there in your baby’s mouth for a long period so you want to be very sure about how and what to consider before buying one. <ul><li>Size: First things first, consider the size of the pacifier and the age of your baby. Pay attention to the recommended age bracket on each pacifier.</li></ul>Up to 6 months: small-sized pacifier6 to 18 months: medium-sized pacifier18 months and above: large-sized pacifier <ul><li>Construction: Pacifiers come in many varieties like single-piece, three-piece, stuffed animal, etc. With the 3 piece pacifier, make sure that any of the parts should not be lightly attached. They should be fixed properly to avoid any kind of choking hazard. Single piece pacifiers are the safest of all.</li></ul> <ul><li>Nipple material: There are two different materials available in the market.</li></ul> <ol><li>Silicone: This is easy to clean and is less prone to retain odours. They can be easily washed in dishwashers.</li><li>Latex: They are softer and are more flexible than silicone material but this material wears out faster. Usually, they are not dishwasher safe. If your baby is allergic to latex then you can either use natural rubber, non-latex or silicone ones.</li></ol>&nbsp;<ul><li>Guard type: There is a standard size as per the baby’s age and so you have to select accordingly. The guard prevents your baby from drawing the nipple into his/her mouth and choking while (s)he is using the pacifier. There are holes in the guard to allow air circulation between the guard and the baby’s face and prevent moisture rashes.</li></ul> <ul><li>Washable: It has to be easy to wash and sterile. Pacifiers must be dishwasher safe if possible.</li></ul> <ul><li>Use coloured pacifiers so that you can spot them easily.</li></ul>&nbsp;<ul><li>Don’t attach anything with your baby’s pacifier. Do not sugar coat it. Do not attach it to your baby’s body. Always keep it clean.</li></ul>

A pacifier is a rubber, plastic, or silicone nipple which is given to an infant to suck upon. It comes with a mouth shield to avoid the danger of swallowing it and choking up on it.

Selecting a pacifier for your baby

If given during sleep, as per a few scientific studies pacifiers can reduce the chances of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) among babies.

Should I leave the pacifier in child's mouth while asleep?

If given during sleep, as per a few scientific studies pacifiers can reduce the chances of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) among babies. However, if a pacifier is given for a long term to a child under the age of two years, it increases the chances of ear infection. Hence, it is better to snuggle with a child and sleep instead of making them sleep in a separate room or in a cradle. This will help in preventing SIDS and also there would be no need to give the pacifier in sleep.

can i give pacifier to my child in sleep

Weaning off pacifiers and milk bottles

Selecting a pacifier for your baby

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