Samiksha Choithani

Like adults children also start exploring their behaviour at different ages. But like adults, children don’t have words to express their emotions; they are just discovering different ways of behaviour in order to influence people. So tantrums are just method of expressing feelings for children, all we need to do is try and understand what is happening around them. Tantrums cannot be totally avoided but of course can be controlled. Take the following steps to cope with your child's tantrum issues: <ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Ensure the child is not stressed – if the child is tired, hungry or stressed he/she may experience tantrums.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Identify the sources that lead to tantrums, for e.g. If your child is experiencing tantrums when you are involved in a conversation, try to hold it for a moment and listen, in case you are avoiding it might trigger and lead to a frustrated behaviour. Next, time when you have a long family conversation, ensure you have a book to read or some colouring assignment for a child to keep them busy.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Distract your child and don’t try to be rebellious when the child is experiencing tantrums. Just try to change the environment or start a new activity.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Just try and talk about the feeling, encourage them to name the feeling. For example if the child throws a toy, ask them why did they throw? It wasn’t working? What could have been done? And what could be the consequences of throwing it?</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Keep calm, take time (a minute) to control yourself first before reacting to the situation. If you get angry, situation can be hard both for you and your child.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Be consistent in your approach, if you give a phone to child during meals when the child experiences tantrums and sometimes you don’t, things can get worse.</li></ul> Note: Once the child turns 5, tantrums may considerably reduce as they develop an understanding of consequences of their behaviour. You can explain them immediately or at night in the form of a story.&nbsp;

A child is bound to throw a tantrum because who else if not the child. This does not mean the tantrums can not be tamed.

Dealing with Toddler Tantrums

Juhi Mishra

Early years of childhood have a great impact in grooming stable and successful adults. Mentally strong children are prepared to tackle complex problems, fight with failures and cope up with challenges as they grow-up. However, mental strength should not be misunderstood, it does not mean the child will never cry or always be an obedient toddler. It means raising an independent child who can deal with self-doubts by identifying the consequences of one’s own decisions. Here is how you can raise mentally strong children: <ul><li>Help them to manage their feelings. Instead of saying “It is okay to get angry, not a big deal” say that “It is normal to lose temper, but hitting your friend is not right”. Feelings are natural; parents should teach children about how to deal with those feelings.</li><li>Teach them to cope up with their emotions. When the child is sad – instead of distracting them through means like giving chocolates, try to help them identify what makes them happy. Children may find happiness in painting/colouring or music or outdoor play.</li><li>Let them solve their own problems or learn from their mistakes, for e.g. if the child has a problem while playing with friends, do not interfere, let them have disagreements. Discuss about the problem and jot down 5 solutions and let the child choose the best. If the child is trying to learn a sport, for e.g. cycling or skating let them fall (in a safe zone) and identify strategies to ride safe next time. Let them forget their books or homework for a day and be responsible for their mistakes, natural consequences of mistakes can be the best teacher.</li><li>Be the change you want to see in the child, say “I feel upset with my bad day at work, but let me figure out how it can be normal and exciting tomorrow”. You might be tired after a hectic day at work but you can say “I know I am tired but let me quickly prepare dinner and play with you rather than sitting idle or checking messages on my phone.”</li></ul> These small practices will go a long way a develop a stable emotional and mental state for your child in the long run.

Early years of childhood have a great impact in grooming stable and successful adults.

Raising a mentally strong child

Drowning can happen almost anywhere with any child, remember children can even drown in just an inch of water. Whenever you plan to take a trip which includes water activities, take proper precautions. You should keep an eye on the child at all times. If the child is too young, an adult should accompany him/her all the time. Take inflatables tubes with you which are very useful for young children. Take the following measures in a drowning emergency:<ul><li>Immediately pull the child out of water.</li><li>Start CPR quickly once the child in on floor – CPR is Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation, it is an emergency lifesaving procedure performed when the heart stops beating. Immediate CPR can double or triple chances of survival after cardiac arrest. CPR can be performed by Pushing hard and fast in the centre of the chest.</li><li>Keep your ear near the child’s mouth and check whether the child is breathing, if you feel air on your cheek and see the chest moving (not too fast) the situation can be under control.</li><li>If the child is not breathing, place the child on his/her back on floor or bench or any firm surface around&amp; gently press the back</li><li>If you feel it is a head injury, try to move the entire portion (head, neck and spine) in full circle.</li><li>Put your mouth over the child’s mouth and blow in child’s mouth for a second, the child’s chest should blow up while you do this, repeat this if required.</li><li>It should be in the count of 2 blows followed by 30 chest compressions.</li><li>If it is a serious case of an emergency, repeat this until the emergency van arrives.</li></ul>

Chances of drowning can be kept at the minimum by being completely prepared at all times.

Emergency situation with children: Drowning

Palak Vyas

Dr Ajab Primuswala

Every child is gifted and special for their parents.Giftedness, on the other hand, is when the child’s ability to do a certain thing is significantly above the norm for their age. <ul><li>A child can be gifted in one or more domains like – intellectual, creative, leadership, artistic or giftedness can manifest in a specific academic field like – mathematics, language arts, or science.</li><li>If you feel and observe that your child can achieve things which others his age are not able to, your child might be gifted.</li><li>A psychologist will be able to help you confirm this as there are many similarities between a gifted child and a child on the ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) spectrum.</li><li>It is better to consult an expert to confirm your child’s giftedness.</li><li>Gifted children need to be admitted to a special school which will fulfil their above-average needs and help them grow better.</li><li>In order to check the ability of your child, compare your child’s ability with respect to age-appropriate scenarios with other children.</li><li>When you sync age of your child, skill(s) of your child, and the age-appropriate norm and find that your child achieving above everyone else, your child is considered gifted.</li></ul>

There is a difference between talented child and a gifted child.

Gifted Child

<ul><li>Stealing is something which a child does out of curiosity.</li><li>May be the child is picking up just simple things like stationery which is very attractive to them. They don’t know what stealing is but if they like something, they pick it up and keep it for themselves. They don’t understand that the particular thing is not possessed by them so they cannot take it home.</li><li>If you find some unknown objects in their bag, just simply go and ask them about where did they get it from. If they say it was one of their classmates’ or if they start giving any explanations, make them sit and talk to them in a very calm manner.</li><li>Do not get aggressive and scold them. Instead tell them, “It does not belong to you. If it does not belong to you, you cannot bring it home. If you need anything of this sort, you come home and ask us, we will get it for you. Don’t make it a habit of picking up things from wherever you like.”</li><li>Stealing is a concept which we understand. As a young child, they don’t understand this; it is just a simple behaviour where they feel, they just liked something and took it away. They do not understand the concept that this doesn’t belong to me or how can I take when it is somebody else’s thing. Be verbal, make them understand and explain to them what stealing is and what are the consequences of stealing.</li><li>For example, explain to them that if they continue with stealing as a habit even after growing up, they might end up in jail.</li><li>This is just making them learn about what exactly they are doing is not a behaviour which is socially acceptable and is considered to be wrong.</li><li>Don’t start getting aggressive on them without explaining. If it becomes a continuous behaviour even after explaining, then you need to get it checked that what pleasure they are getting out of this habit.</li><li>Keep a check on your child if this turns out to be a continuous habit. Make them understand that they will have to face consequences because of this. Do not tell them that they will be punished but for example, if the child has picked up something from someone, make it a point that they go to that person, return the thing in their hand the next day and apologise for the same.</li><li>This will make them realise that this is something they cannot do however hard they like it.</li><li>Children learn what is appropriate and what is not through proper guidance. If any action or behaviour is appropriate, (s)he will be appreciated and would be found guilty for inappropriate action.</li></ul>

Children do not understand the concept of "stealing" so instead of dealing with this situation using your anger, it is better to sit with your child and make him/her understand why they should not be doing this.

Dealing with child's habit of stealing things

You can use simple day to day activities and conversations to teach your child maths in an interesting way: <ul><li>Teach your child numbers and then counting numbers: Each child learns at his or her own pace and they can learn it through different activities and ways. There cannot be comparison between two kids. You can use objects which we use in our day to day life. Like use buttons, pennies, books, fruits, cars, toys, blocks, chalk colours, etc. Ask them to count apples, oranges and bananas; this will widen their vision of counting and correlating different objects.</li><li>Play math games: Maths can be a fun subject to learn when you correlate and incorporate it into your daily activities. You can ask them various questions in general so it doesn’t feel like boring study time but make it a part of conversation.</li><li>Frame easy questions that revolve around his/her world: such as how many soft toys do you have, let's arrange them in a line and count. When you buy veggies ask him/her to count money for you. If you are to give 20 rupees you can ask him/her to give you 2 notes of 10 rupees. Keep it as simple as you can in the beginning. Ask him/her to bring spoons for all the family members at lunch. Ask them to show you six fingers of their hands.</li><li>Cutting cakes and pizzas: While cutting cakes and pizzas, you can teach them division, addition and subtraction too. They can learn the concept of halves and fourths and eighths. You can ask them how they can share a cake equally into all four members of the family and introduce the concept of division. You can add two halves and show them how it becomes one. Likewise you can keep experimenting and see what goes fine with your child.</li><li>Flash card: Once you have taught them counting you can make flash cards. Keep the question cards with you and give them answer cards. For example, you have a card showing 2+2 and they will show you a card with number 4.</li><li>Make maths a daily activity: Incorporate it into your routine. Ask questions while communicating with them.</li></ul>“How many lights are there at this signal?”“How many trees are there in our backyard?”“Can you tell me the number of doors and windows in our house?”Likewise keep framing simple questions.

Many children dread maths. But with a few interesting steps, your child can learn mathematics in a fun way.

Making mathematics interesting for kids

Following measures can be taken to make your travel happy and comfortable: <ul><li>Confirm the train timings: Whether it is going to be late or not. This is to make sure that you won’t have to wait long hours with the baby on the station.</li><li>Carry a fold-able baby cot: Infants usually sleep a lot. So carrying a fold-able baby cot is a wise decision. It occupies less space and you don’t have to carry the child in your lap all through the journey. They too can have a comfortable sleep.</li><li>Carry an extra baby bag: This may seem extra baggage but it’s easy and comfortable to have a separate bag for baby’s belongings. That small bag can include diapers, baby wipes, cream, soft blanket, towels, sanitiser, milk powder, thermos with warm water, hairbrush , a mattress for the cot, feeding bottle, medicines and other such essential things for baby. Don’t forget to put your baby’s favourite toy and a water bottle.</li><li>Medicines: Please carry emergency medicines for fever, colic, stuffy nose, and nausea. Gastric pain is very common in babies so if your baby has been prescribed special medication take it along without fail.</li><li>Comfortable seat: Try and book lower berth so your baby can easily play and there are less chances of falling. Look for any sharp edges or such objects around that can hurt your child while playing.</li><li>Carry your baby’s food: You can prepare his/her favourite food for the journey. Try to keep food light and easy on your child’s stomach.</li><li>Avoid travelling with a baby who is less than 3 months old because they are easily prone to infections.</li></ul>

Travelling by train with a child can be tricky. The key is to be all prepared before boarding the train.

Travelling with a child in train

Keep the following points in mind while buying a milk bottle for your child: <ul><li>Bottle material: The glass bottles are heavy, BPA (a chemical used in plastics) free, can last longer and can be easily cleaned. But they need to be handled with care while. They are more expensive than plastic ones.</li></ul> The silicone bottles are light and unbreakable, BPA free. Often they are soft but more expensive than the plastic and glass ones.The plastic bottles are light, unbreakable and inexpensive. Generally, parents don’t prefer using plastic though they are very convenient to use.The stainless steel bottles are light, unbreakable, BPA free, last longer, not very expensive too.Parents can use any of the above material depending upon their preference and convenience. <ul><li>Bottle shape: Most bottles are slightly curved or angled for easy grip. Height and width should be chosen based on baby’s convenience to hold.</li></ul> <ul><li>Disposable bottles are also available in the market if you want to use during travelling, when washing and cleaning are not possible.</li></ul> <ul><li>Venting system: There are bottles available in the market which claim to be anti-colic. It has a straw-like component so that the baby doesn’t ingest gas bubbles.</li></ul> <ul><li>Number of bottles: Depending upon how you use it, minimum 2 to 4, to a maximum of 8 to 10 bottles can be required.</li></ul> <ul><li>Nipples: There are two varieties- silicone and latex available in the nipple material. Flat-topped and wide nipples are better.</li></ul> <ul><li>Nipple size and flow: For preemies and newborn, the smallest size is preferable while for a grown-up baby, there are nipple sizes and flow which are larger and faster respectively.</li></ul>

Selection of milk bottle can be based on many parameters like nipple shape, nipple flow, bottle material and bottle shape.

Selecting a milk bottle for your baby

Ravina Sewani

Fighting in front of your kids has a very negative impact on their growing years. So whenever a situation arises where you think that things might get heated, it is better to walk away from that place or tell your spouse “we will talk about this later”. You can talk about your issues separately and vent everything out because keeping things to yourself will affect your mental health.<ul><li>The first step is just walk out of that situation.&nbsp;</li><li>The second step is to wait till you are not around your children or you both are alone.</li><li>The third step is to reflect whether it is worth fighting on that particular point or not. If you can, just let it go with the passage of time.</li></ul> If your argument is related to your child’s upbringing or academics or just a difference of opinion between you and your spouse regarding your child, talk this through in a calmer but firmer tone. Not everything needs to be shouted and sorted. This will also help children understand that things can be sorted out without shouting on each other. <ul><li>If you and your spouse cannot sort things out without shouting on each other, it is better to pen down your opinions. Then you can exchange your written points with your spouse. This way there will be more understanding and less shouting.</li><li>After you have listened to or read your spouse’s side of opinions, you can discuss the solutions. Again, if you think that things will not be smooth during verbal discussion, then pen down your views and then discuss with each other.</li></ul>

Arguments between parents have an impact on children for a long time so it's advisable to keep the arguments limited to your room.

choking parenting concerns

Parenting issues are a part of the everyday parenting journey. Following article(s) might help you with your concern(s).