Samiksha Choithani

Air travel with kids can be challenging for parents of young children. But, remember they are exploring every time they experience a unique situation they are sure to react.Here are some tricks that can help you to keep your calm and happy during the travel:<ul><li>Some children, even adults experience pain in ears while take off if that is the case with your child give them a glass of warm water and guide them to sip it slowly this will help to reduce the pain. Keep talking to them and never insert ear buds in this situation.</li><li>You can also keep a surprise toy in the hand bag and give them a surprise, this will keep them busy throughout the transit.</li><li>Have some story books with you, read them a story or you can tell them stories about the place you are visiting, people you will meet etc.</li><li>If the child is on breast feed, give them proper just before the flight. If the child is hungry he/she is sure to get cranky due to delayed feedings.</li></ul>

Air travel with kids can be challenging for parents of young children. Be patient with them as they are always on the quest of exploring new things.

Travelling with a child in an airplane

Palak Vyas

Babies putting things in their mouths, otherwise known as mouthing, is not only normal, but also signals a growing interest in the world around them. In the first year, children explore their surroundings through their senses - seeing, touching, hearing, smelling, and tasting. The more they explore, the more they learn. But be careful about the following things:<ul><li>Keep the child away from choking hazardous things/toys. Provide them with bigger toys with smooth edges so that children do not swallow the toys.</li><li>Try and replace the items that are not safe in their hands either with some eatables or any other better option. Distraction is the key.</li><li>Constantly taking away things from their hands will only result into rebellious stubborn behaviour, rather gently distract them by giving suitable things and toys.</li></ul>

Mouthing or putting everything in mouth is very common. It signals growth so do not worry much.

Mouthing

Raising a single child is absolutely alright; do not let the external pressure and guilt affect you. You can raise an only child with good attributes of sharing and negotiation. You might be worried about loneliness but friends are often a new family. Following points will help you to raise your single child in a fulfilling way:<ul><li>Instil social skills by frequent interactions with neighbours and close family members regularly.</li><li>Help your child become self reliant, share daily chores; this will keep them occupied and make them independent.</li><li>Talk to them often, try to be best friends and do crazy stuff with your toddler. Like pretend play, cycling, clay moulding or racing.</li><li>Let them have play dates or you can also think of enrolling them in weekend sessions for dance, music or sports. Engage them in age appropriate activities.</li><li>Ensure an hour is spent outdoors or in outdoor play areas (parks and gardens).</li><li>Once in a while, plan a family outing to the nearest zoo, water-park, amusement-park, etc.</li></ul>

Raising a single child is absolutely alright; do not let the external pressure affect you.

Raising a single child

Swaddling is a part of caring for newborn babies since centuries. This makes the babies feel as if they are in the womb. It is one of the best techniques to calm a cranky baby and help them sleep for long. It can be particularly helpful for babies with neurological problems (problems associated with nerves, like migraine, stroke etc.) or colic (abdominal pain during infancy). It also can really help babies to fall and stay asleep on their backs. Consider these points when you are swaddling your baby:<ul><li>If your baby is happy without swaddling, don’t swaddle.</li><li>Always put your baby to sleep on his back if he is swaddled.</li><li>Make sure that whatever you are using to swaddle doesn’t become loose.</li><li>For the healthy development of the hips, babies’ legs need to be able to bend up and out at the hips. Swaddling for short periods of time is likely fine, but if your baby is going to spend a significant amount of the day and night swaddled, consider swaddling a little easy that lets the legs move.</li></ul>

Swaddling gives a very cosy feeling to a newborn baby. The baby feels as if it is still in the mother's womb.

The art of Swaddling a baby

About 30-60% of elementary school students bite their nails at some point. Although it is an annoying habit, nail-biting in kids doesn’t mean any serious health issue.<ul><li>Kids bite their nails due to various reasons such as curiosity, to pass the time, to relieve stress and anxiety, habit or imitation.</li><li>The most common reason for child biting nails is to relieve anxiety and stress. They may also shake legs or even rub ears to relieve from anxiety and stress. All children get anxious which triggers this habit. Joining a new school, pressure to perform well in class or feeling shy at a social function are common triggers. In such cases, there’s nothing to worry about. You just need to find a good time and discuss the things (s)he may be tensed about.</li><li>In rare cases, severe nail-biting can be a sign of excessive anxiety. Consult your child's health professional if nail-biting is severe, long term, surfaced suddenly and co-occurs with other worrisome behaviours like picking at his/her skin, pulling his hair or if (s)he's not sleeping well.</li><li>Sometimes when the child is pampered a lot at home and if that child has to go out to some friends’ or relatives’ or anywhere alone or when they don't find their parents around, they start biting nails to distract self.</li></ul> Ways to combat child's nail biting habit:<ul><li>Cut your child's nails regularly.</li><li>If your child is old enough, give them finger foods.</li><li>Engage them in an activity or give them a toy which will keep their fingers busy and hence distract your child from biting the nails.</li><li>Develop a code word or a subtle sign between you and your child. Whenever you notice your child nibbling on his/her nails, you can say the code-word or gesture your sign without letting anyone else know about it. This will keep your child alert to not bite the nails.</li><li>You can try applying bite averting nail paints on your child's nails. But keep in mind, that sometimes such nail paints can be irritating for your child so consult your child's doctor before using such a chemical.</li><li>Explain the health consequences of biting nails to your child. Unhealthy nails can lead to upset stomach as well.</li><li>As a parent, you can build your child’s confidence. The child can be gradually taught to be self confident and they should be allowed to go and meet new friends, family members on whom the child has trust. This will boost the child's self confidence and if the situation is due to this nature of the child, the habit can be get ridden off.</li></ul>

Nail biting is common not only in children but also in adults. It is important to understand the underlying reasons behind this habit.

Nail biting habit in children

Ravina Sewani

Parenting is a huge responsibility. And conflicts between you and your spouse due to different parenting styles is bound to happen because you will not agree on everything 100% all the time. The important thing here is to resolve the conflict and look past it and take the steps which are best for your child(ren). You and your spouse need to be on the same page and not be rigid and think, “My way is right. Your way is wrong.” A person’s parenting style is influenced by the way they were parented, their hopes, fears, and expectations from their child(ren), gender roles, cultural background, community, religion, politics, and socioeconomic status. Hence, it is a given fact that you and your spouse will have parenting style conflicts because you both were parented in a different way.Parenting conflicts also leaves children clueless as to what is expected out of them and how they are supposed to behave. Resolving the conflict:<ul><li>Inconsistency</li></ul>Both the parents have different rules and expectations for their child’s discipline, their routine, and their choices. Mom might say that a child cannot watch TV until the homework is done but dad might be completely okay with that. Because of such conflicts and inconsistencies, one parent inevitably undermines the authority of the other. Children are smart to catch up on your inconsistencies and will begin to either manipulate either of the parents for their good or will have more behavioural problems in future. Resolving this problem requires you and your spouse to be completely honest with each other about what your rules and expectations are. Write them down, review them and be sure they are workable. In areas in which you differ, find a compromise that you both can live with - and stick by it.<ul><li>Confusion</li></ul>Putting off the important discussions and decisions about matters like how much freedom is appropriate for the child, leaves the child puzzled and stressed as to what is expected of them. You and your spouse need to communicate about what is acceptable and what is not. You need to take the decisions and let your child(ren) know so that a child knows how to behave in the family.<ul><li>Competition</li></ul>It’s not only kids who feel that their parents love the other one more. Sometimes the tables turn, and there’s a rivalry between parents over their children’s attention and love. Children get stuck sometimes when the father wants to do something with the children (eg. go for fishing) and the mother wants them to do something else (eg. to tidy up the house). In such situations, children have to choose one over the other even if they don’t want to. To resolve this, parents need to find ways to be cooperative, not competitive, with each other. This doesn't mean that you have to agree or compromise on everything; but that you need to go with what’s the best for the child and the family as a whole. Sometimes the father can let go and the mother can do the same.<ul><li>Overt Conflict</li></ul>When parents have arguments over what’s right for their child(ren) and cannot come to a conclusion, one parent eventually gives in. This is not healthy as the parents at some later time are bound to have arguments over something else and this time, the arguments might heat up because of a previously unresolved issue. To resolve this, parents need to learn the skills of conflict resolution. These include:ListeningClarifying points of differenceTaking each other's feelings seriouslyGenerating alternative solutions togetherNegotiating<ul><li>Back Each Other Up</li></ul>Always present yourself as a team in front of your child(ren). Make it a rule that if one parent disciplines a child, the other parent must back it up, even if the other parent disagrees with the punishment. Later, when things are calm, you and your spouse can discuss alternate ways of handling things in private. If you don’t back each other up, your child will undermine your authority as parents. Every time you argue with your spouse over parenting, the focus shifts away from where it should be—your child’s behaviour.<ul><li>Go with the Gut</li></ul>When you and your spouse disagree on an issue and you can’t seem to find a compromise, then try to defer to the parent who feels more strongly about it. When one of the parent has a very strong positive/negative feeling about a child’s matter, the other parent should go along and trust the feelings of the other. For examples, you can say, “I feel so strongly about this. I’d like you to support me on this, even if you don’t see it the same way.”<ul><li>Empathise with your child, but don’t undermine your spouse</li></ul>If you don’t agree to what your spouse feels but nonetheless decide to ahead with their decision, never put down your spouse’s decision while siding with the child. For example, when your child wants to have a toy. You are ready but your spouse is not and at the end of the day you go ahead with not buying the toy for your child. This is what you can say to your child, “I know it’s hard for you when we won’t let you buy what you want. But be assured that we have the best interests for you at heart.” Tell your child that this is a joint decision even if behind closed doors, you and your spouse don’t completely agree.<ul><li>Take decisions when things are calm</li></ul>Talk about parenting decisions when you are calm and can listen to one another’s perspective without being angry or sarcastic. Calm makes it is easier for you to discuss things with respect. When the argument heats up, take a time-out and discuss things later. Don’t be hostile while discussing things with your partner. Hostility isn’t just yelling and fighting. Hostility can include sarcasm, dismissive comments, put-downs, subtle threats, and other forms of damaging communication.<ul><li>Understand each other’s family history</li></ul>Everyone is parented and brought up in a different way. This also influences the way we parent children. When you and your spouse don’t agree on something, try and understand what was your spouse’s childhood like, how was your spouse parented. You can tell them about your parenting and childhood as well. This way you will be able to understand why the other way parents in a particular way. This will help you to decide what is the best for your child quickly and without any chaos.<ul><li>Learn about parenting together</li></ul>Read parenting books and discuss them, or join a parenting support group. Select parenting experts you both trust.<ul><li>Accept your mistake</li></ul>Being stubborn and not accepting a mistake you have made and blaming your spouse can make your spouse angry. If you are wrong, be gracious enough to accept it.<ul><li>Forgive your spouse’s mistake</li></ul>If your spouse made a mistake, learn to forgive and forget. Once you have forgiven, don’t ever bring up the issue again. Never bring up past issues as they make things bitter.<ul><li>Get professional help</li></ul>If you feel like you’ve tried everything and are still not able to get on the same page with your spouse, you may need some professional help in the form of a therapist.

Every individual has different thought and opinions hence arguments between parents regarding the parenting of their child(ren) are bound to happen. But that doesn't mean that there's not a way out.

Resolving Parenting Conflict due to different Parenting Styles

Friendship is one of the pillars of living a happy life. If your child is not able to make friends in general, it might be because (s)he is an introvert. But if your child is choosy about the gender of his/her friends, it is a different issue altogether. <ul><li>Parents also have an influence on children when it comes to making friends of the opposite gender. A lot of times parents pass comments like “You are a boy, why are you playing with girls?” and vice versa. Hence, consciously or unconsciously parents are responsible for developing gender bias in their tiny minds.</li><li>Be open-minded and let them be free.</li><li>Let them explore the possibilities and consequences rather than you imposing your learning on them.</li><li>Do not constrain their thinking and let them choose their friends on their own.</li><li>Avoid passing comments like “blue is the colour of boys and pink of girls” or “girls cry a lot but boys do not”. Such statements unconsciously make children bend towards their own gender.</li><li>Without your constant inputs, gradually they will learn to make friends of both the genders.</li><li>Friendship is about understanding and comfort. Everyone has a natural tendency to be comfortable around men, women, or both. So for the child also it's the same.</li></ul> Unless you or the society doesn’t put this gender bias in their head, they treat everyone (either a girl or a boy) as equal.

A child's thought process is majorly influenced by the people around him/her.

Child does not make opposite gender friends

Around the age of 2, most kids start showing interest in learning alphabets. You can use the following learning methods for your child: <ol><li>Singing the alphabet song: You can sing the alphabet songs for them and gradually they will learn to sing with you. You can also play action song on alphabets or just play audio whenever they are playing around. Children love to sing and dance along and that's how they learn things quickly.</li><li>Reading all alphabet books that you can find: The more you repeat, the more they repeat with you and the better is the learning. Provide them with different alphabet books so they don’t get bored with reading the same one. Make sure that the books show different things for one alphabet. Example: Not all books should contain “A for Apple”; “A for aeroplane”, “A for almond”, and so on should be included in the books. This will help your child in the long run.</li><li>Tracing the letters: Books for tracing the letters are readily available in the market. A child uses his/her fingers to trace the letters. The letter cards tell the child where to start and in which direction to trace. You can make such cards at home too. To make it interesting, help your child dip their finger in watercolour and then trace the letters.</li><li>Make alphabet shapes with your child using sand on a flat surface.</li><li>Use clay to make alphabet shapes with your child. This will improve their fine motor skills and sense of touch along with learning alphabets.</li><li>ABC cookies, ABC pancakes are also available in the market.</li></ol> Important Note: If the child knows the alphabet names, it becomes easy for them to learn the sounds of letters. Always start with teaching upper case letters because they are easier than the lower case ones.

Every child learns on its own pace. You can slowly introduce your child to new concepts but never be impatient to teach them everything at once.

Teaching alphabets to children

Children have a more delicate skin than adults so burns and scalds affect them severely. Burns and scalds are not the same. Burns are caused by dry heat, for example, by an iron or fire. Scalds, on the other hand, are caused by wet heat, for example, hot water or steam. Burns and scalds cause:<ul><li>Red or peeling skin</li><li>Blisters</li><li>Swelling</li><li>White or charred skin&nbsp;</li></ul> Burns are of 3 levels - first, second, and third degree burns:<ul><li>First degree burns are mild causing pain and reddening of the skin. Second degree burns cause redness, swelling, pain, and blistering. Third degree burns cause white, blackened, or charred skin that may be numb.</li><li>First degree burns can be treated at home. Second and third degree burns need medical attention immediately.</li></ul> A few things to keep in mind before treating burns at home:<ul><li>If the source of the burn is electrical, do not touch your child. First turn off the switch.</li><li>If the source of the burn is anything hot or due to any chemical, remove the agent and run cool water over the burn.</li><li>If your child's clothing is on fire, make them stop running, cover their face, drop them to the floor, and extinguish the fire with a blanket. If your child is old enough to understand instructions, ask them to stop walking/running, cover their face with their hands, drop to the floor, and roll on the floor to put the fire out.</li></ul> Treating burns and scalds at home:<ul><li>Soak the burn in cool (not cold) water for at least 15 minutes. Do not use ice.</li><li>If there is any clothing attached with the burn, do not peel it. Cut the extra clothing around it.</li><li>Cover the burn using a clean cloth or an antibiotic ointment.</li><li>Do not pop any blisters.</li><li>If your child is experiencing pain, ask your child's paediatrician to prescribe medication for the pain.</li></ul> Preventing burns:<ul><li>Kids are curious by nature so it is up to parents to take proper precautions which will prevent injuries from burns and scalds. Here are a few things to keep in mind:</li><li>Keep the water temperature for bathing young children between 37 to 38 C.</li><li>Do not leave kids unsupervised in the bathroom or kitchen.</li><li>Keep hot drinks and handles out of reach of children.</li><li>Never carry hot things when holding children.</li></ul> Call the doctor if:<ul><li>The burned area is charred or white.</li><li>Electric shock or chemicals caused the burn.</li><li>The burn is on the face, hands, feet, genitals, or a joint.</li><li>The burn covers 10% or more of the body.</li></ul>

Children have a more delicate skin than adults so burns and scalds affect them severely.

drowning parenting concern

Parenting issues are a part of the everyday parenting journey. Following article(s) might help you with your concern(s).