A few things said in haste messes up a child's brain and have a considerable impact psychologically, like low self-confidence, self-doubt, anxiety, depression, and so much more. Throughout your parenting journey, make sure you are not saying things or acting out in a way that could damage your child(ren) mentally. Sometimes parents are not aware that their actions affect their child(ren) negatively, and sometimes parents overlook it and justify their bad behaviour due to their stress. Here are a few practices which you should avoid telling your child(ren): Pick these up right now. I don't want you leaving a mess like that again.Instead, say:&nbsp;I don't like this mess you are leaving. Can you please clean this up when you have time? You should know better.Instead, say:&nbsp;It's OK not to know some things. Here, I will help you out. You're a bad kid.Instead, say:&nbsp;Can you tell me why you behaved/acted in such a way? I feel it wasn't right, is there anything you want to talk about? Or Else.&nbsp;Example: Eat dinner, or else you won't get your dessert.Instead, say:&nbsp;How about you take a healthy dinner quickly so that we can all enjoy dessert together?&nbsp; Stop being shy.Instead, say:&nbsp;You can come to say hi to your aunt when you are ready. You should set a good example for your brother.Instead, say:&nbsp;Your brother looks up to you; you're such a good role model. Wait until your father/mother gets home.Instead, say:&nbsp;You're grounded because you said a bad word. I will never forgive you.Instead, say:&nbsp;What you did was not acceptable, but we can look past it and move on if you think the next time. I'm ashamed of you.Instead, say:&nbsp;Although I feel bad about what you did, I love you for who you are. Don't worry; everything will be OK.Instead, say:&nbsp;Mom and Dad are always nearby, and we're going to set up a plan in case of emergency. Here, I'll do it.Instead, say:&nbsp;Let's do it together!" Don't cryInstead, say:&nbsp;I know you're sad, and it's OK to cry. It's OK to let out your emotions. Let me hug you. If you don't clean your room, you're going to be in big trouble.Instead, say:&nbsp;When your room is clean, then you may go out to play. Family finances aren't your business.Instead, say:&nbsp;Finances are how we make and manage money, and when you like, we will teach you what we know. I'm disappointed in you.Instead, say:&nbsp;I'm surprised and was not expecting this to occur. Come here, NOW.Instead, say:&nbsp;It's almost time to go. Do you want one minute or two? Because I said so.Instead, say:&nbsp;Explaining why you feel a certain way about something. We can't afford that.Instead, say:&nbsp;We're not going to buy that because we're saving our money for more important things. Don't talk to strangers.Instead, say:&nbsp;What would you do if a man you don't know offers you candy and a ride home? OR If anyone makes you feel sad, scared, or confused, you need to tell me right away. You should listen to adults.Instead, say:&nbsp;You need to listen to your parents. Don't be greedy!Instead, say:&nbsp;Would you please be kind and share your toys with your friend? Who taught you this? (about mischief)Instead, say:&nbsp;Why did you do that? Look at this lovely girl.Instead, say:&nbsp;I love you. You can do this too. I do everything for you.Instead, say:&nbsp;We do things for you because we love you, so please do for me. Do I have to tell you this 100 times?Instead, say:&nbsp;I've told you this before, but could you please. That's only for boys/girls.Instead:&nbsp;Say nothing at all. Try your best at raising gender-neutral children. You live under my roof, so you follow my rules.Instead, say:&nbsp;You know the household rules. Please stick to them. That's how I was raised.Instead, say:&nbsp;I don't think it's a good idea to do [ ]. Even my parents used to tell me that [ ]. You're just like your mother/father!Instead say:&nbsp;I’m not happy with [ ] because [ ]. I told you so.Instead, say:&nbsp;I'm sorry to hear about [ ] ... let this be a lesson. It's just a little white lie.Instead, explain to them that it's OK to use white lies to be polite and not hurt someone's feelings. Explain to them the fine line between lies and little white lies. Man up. / Be a man.Never disregard your son's feelings. Don't teach them that showing emotions is weak. To show emotions is only human. Why can't you be more like your sister?Instead, say:&nbsp;I don't quite like this behaviour of yours. Do you think we can work on it? If you loved me, you wouldn't do (this/that).Don't teach them that love needs to be proven all the time. Love comes without ifs and buts. I wish you'd never been born. / I hate you.No matter how angry you are, this is the worst thing to say. You would be scarring your child. Why can't you do anything right?Instead, say: What's the barrier? Is there anything I can help you with? I don't believe you.Instead, say: This comes as a shock for me. But I am sure you can tell me the whole thing. There's nothing to be afraid of.Instead, say:&nbsp;Everyone has their fair share of fears. We appreciate that you shared your feelings with us. We promise we will work on this together. You're lazy/stupid/selfish.Never label your child. Never. Your friends don't do that.Comparison will never bring any positive change. Accept your child for who they are and appreciate them. You should have done better.Praise them for their achievement. Do not over expect. You don't know what you're talking about. / You're too young to know what you want.Often children know what they want or how they feel. Saying this will show your distrust in their feelings. You'll never be able to do that.Instead, encourage and push your child to do better, of course, without any comparison. You're so fat/skinny, or You're going to get fat/skinny.Never attribute a child's identity to their looks. You make me so mad.Calm your anger down, and then talk to your child(ren).&nbsp;Instead, say:&nbsp;We will talk about this after a while when I am in the right state of my mind. Impact of such phrases on children:<ol><li>Antisocial behaviour</li><li>Poor resilience</li><li>Depression</li><li>Aggression</li><li>Lack of empathy</li><li>Difficulty in relationships</li><li>Self-doubt</li><li>Lack of self-confidence</li><li>Anxiety</li></ol>

A few things said in haste messes up a child's brain and have a considerable impact psychologically, like low self-confidence, self-doubt, anxiety and so on

Speaking Gently: Things you should never say to your child

A few things said in haste messes up a child’s brain and have a huge impact psychologically.

Things You Should Never Say to Your Child

<ul><li>Protect your child from too much sun. The sun's rays are strongest between 10 AM and 4 PM so avoid taking your child out during these hours.</li><li>If you plan to take your child outside, apply sunscreen to them which provides protection against UV rays. Apply sunscreen 30 minutes before going outside. Reapply every two hours and after being in the water or sweating. Use sunscreen on cloudy days too as the sun’s rays pass through the clouds as well. Do not skip sunscreen if you are taking your child out; only skip if your child is wearing clothes that cover his/her entire body.</li><li>If your baby is less than a year old, keep them out of the sun as much as you can. Dress your baby in lightweight, light-coloured clothing with long sleeves and long pants. Make sure to cover their head.</li><li>Select sunglasses for babies and children that provide 100% UV protection.</li><li>When it is too hot and humid, children should not play outside or exercise for more than 30 minutes at a time.</li><li>Make sure your child drinks plenty of fluids even if they are not thirsty. Water is best of all. Dehydration can cause fatigue and muscle cramping.</li><li>Keep your child covered at all times when outside or sit in the shade as your child’s sensitive skin can get a sunburn. If your child gets sunburn, the best remedy is to use a cold compress for the affected area. If it’s too much, consult a doctor.</li><li>Never leave your kids unattended in a closed car even for a few minutes and even if the windows are open. The temperature inside a closed car increases too quickly and can be fatal for a child.</li></ul>

Taking the right precautionary steps before the arrival of any season will keep your baby safe and healthy.

Handy Summer Care and Tips For Babies

Taking the right precautionary steps before the arrival of any season will keep your baby safe and healthy.

Summer Precautions for Babies

If your child is laughing without any specific reason or if (s)he is talking, crying or staying silent way too much without any understandable reason, this might indicate that your child is unable to understand what is going on in a particular situation. When children have insecurity of being judged as someone who cannot gauge what is going around in his/her space, they react in a way in which people around them are not able to catch the fact that the child is not understanding anything happening around him/her. From the child’s perspective, (s)he feels, "Come on! I don’t get it. Why do you want me to understand everything”. They choose not to be vocal about how they feel. So they keep reacting in odd ways. Sometimes children are scared and think "If I go say that I don’t understand this and ask again, my parents will get angry and scold me.” You need to analyse the scenarios in which your child laughs too much. Ask you this question - Is this situation particularly funny and laughable or is my child just acting oddly because of (s)he lacks understanding of the situation? If you feel that your child lacks understanding, talk to them in private and ensure them that you are there to understand them and not mock them or be angry at them. Reassure them that if they don't feel right about anything, they can come to you and talk to you; there will be no judgements. If things are out of control and you cannot help manage your child's behaviour, you should consult a child psychologist who can help you solve this problem by taking steps in the right direction.

Pay attention to the situations in which your child laughs too much; this will help you to understand the problem better.

When a child laughs too much

Pay attention to the situations in which your child laughs too much; this will help you to understand the problem better.

Are we exhibiting what we want our kids to be? Call it a harsh reality but children rarely learn from what we preach, they learn from our actions. Take this for an example, an anonymous user on the internet confessed that her child would hit her younger sibling while playing. Her explanation in defence was, “We are playing ‘mommy”. We all aspire to become perfect parents for our kids because we want to inculcate values in them that would make them better human beings. But the larger and the more significant question is do we exhibit that kind of discipline in our behaviour? We expect our children to use modern-day gadgets judiciously but do we supervise our use of these products? We want our kids to watch their words and actions when angry but do we manage our anger appropriately? We want our kids to show decorum and discipline with their daily routine but are we exhibiting ourselves as an example to do the same? Dr Haim Ginott, a renowned child psychologist, pointed out, “Children are like wet cement. Whatever falls on them makes an impression.” If we give the child an environment of hostility he is more likely to learn to fight. An environment of ridicule and shame can lead to the child resulting being shy and guilty. But similarly, if the child had always lived with tolerance, he learns to become more patient. If he has always received praise, he learns the virtue of appreciation. What is important during the child’s growing years is that we model the kind of behaviour we expect our children to be. It is impossible to not be stressed or angry under circumstances. But when the parents manage their stress and anger appropriately, the message is loud and clear to the kids that it is normal to feel negative at times but it is only the positive attitude towards solving these problems that reap good results. Parents should ‘speak’ and ‘do’ what they expect out of their children. Saying statements like. “I love all kinds of food”, “I love playing outdoors”, “Let’s clean up the mess together”, “Let’s help little brother/sister with eating the food”. These kinds of statements bring about assurance in the kids and before indulging in the wrong they are forced to do what think what they have been taught. The brains of children are like sponges. They absorb everything without discriminating information into right or wrong. Let's set ourselves as better examples for our children. Let's exhibit what we want our children to be.

Are we exhibiting what we want our kids to be? Call it a harsh reality but children rarely learn from what we preach, they learn from our actions.

Children See Children Learn - The pillar of parenting

Being a positive role model for your child can help instil the right attitude and habits from an early age for your child to nurture a healthy lifestyle.

Children See Children Learn ~The pillar of parenting

It's just a few days to your child's birthday and you are wondering if everything will go according to your plan or not. Well, here are a few things you can prepare beforehand so that on your child's special day you are not busy with organising and execution and are able to spend quality time with your child: <ul><li>If you're calling your child's friends over, make all the calls at least 3 days prior and take the confirmations so you can make the arrangements accordingly.</li><li>If you are planning to get food from outside, call the catering people and make appropriate arrangements for the special day.</li><li>If you are going to plan an activity for children, get all the materials for the same and keep everything in one place so that you don't have to rush around for everything on the day of celebration.</li><li>Get a house help for the whole day to help you with the arrangements prior to the celebration and also to help you tidy up the place post the celebrations.</li><li>Make your child try on the clothes and footwear before their birthday so that if any changes are to be made, they can be done within time.</li><li>Wind up all your personal/professional work one day prior to your child's birthday so that you can give your undivided attention to your child.</li></ul> If you are confused as to what you can do to make your child's birthday fulfilling, take a look at our 'Birthday Celebration Ideas' article to get some ideas.

Don't fuss about the preparations on the day of the celebration of the child's birthday, instead, see what you can manage prior to the celebration to make the day less stressful.

Preparing for your childs Birthday

Don't fuss about the preparations on the day of the celebration of your child's birthday, instead, see what all you can manage prior to the celebration to make the day less stressful.

Oral trauma refers to injuries to the mouth and/or teeth. It is common in early childhood, particularly when babies and toddlers are learning to walk and remain unsteady on their feet. Types and causes of oral injuries:<ul><li>Cuts and scratches on the inside of the mouth or the lips</li><li>Injuries to the teeth, including chipped and displaced teeth and teeth being knocked out</li><li>Burn to the lips or inside of the mouth</li></ul> First aid for cuts and scratches:<ul><li>Clean your hands properly before handling your child's injury.</li><li>Have the child rinse his/her mouth with water so that the site of injury can be identified.</li><li>Apply pressure with a piece of gauze or clean cloth to stop the bleeding.</li><li>Apply a cold pack or ice wrapped in a thin cloth to the lip and mouth if there is any swelling.</li><li>The child should receive medical care for any injury that might need stitches. An example of an injury that requires stitches is a cut that extends through the lip or across the edge of the tongue.</li><li>Don't apply any cream or ointment on the injury unless prescribed by a dentist.</li></ul> First aid for Injuries to teeth:If a baby, toddler, or young child injures the gums or baby teeth:<ul><li>Apply pressure to the area, if it's bleeding, with a piece of cold, wet gauze or clean cloth. If your child is old enough to follow directions, ask him or her to bite down on the gauze or cloth.</li><li>Offer an ice pop to suck on to reduce swelling, or hold an ice-pack wrapped in a washcloth to the cheek.</li><li>Call a dentist and describe the situation. If the dentist finds the need, (s)he will prescribe a medicine. Do not give any medication to your child without the dentist’s prescription.</li><li>Watch for swelling of the gums, continued pain, a fever, or a change in the colour of the tooth.</li></ul> If a permanent tooth is chipped or broken: When your child’s permanent tooth falls off, you should visit a dentist immediately. The tooth that is re-implanted within 30 minutes, proves to be highly successful. Meanwhile you can take care of certain things like:<ul><li>Collect all pieces of the tooth. Hold the tooth by the crown, not the root.</li><li>Store the tooth in your child’s saliva or in milk. Do not store it in tap water.</li><li>Rinse the mouth with warm water.</li><li>Control the bleeding with cloth or sterile gauze.</li><li>For swelling and pain, apply cool compress or suck on frozen pop.</li><li>Call a dentist schedule a visit as soon as possible.</li><li>Never try to push a dislodged or knocked out tooth back into its socket. It may cause infection or damage the permanent teeth that are sitting beneath the child’s gums, waiting to emerge at around six years of age.</li></ul> Prevention:Make sure kids wear mouth guards during sports and helmets while biking, skateboarding, and inline skating. Childproof your house to prevent falls. First aid for mouth and lip burns:<ul><li>Run cool water over the burnt area and provide pain killers, prescribed by a doctor, if required. Once the lip burn has been cooled with cool running water, soft white paraffin should be applied to the lips.</li><li>Never apply ice to a burnt lip (or other burnt skin) as they may cause further damage. Burn gels should only be used if running water is not available.</li><li>The inside of the mouth may be burnt if a child inhales hot steam or gas. Internal oral burns are potentially life threatening as they may prevent the child from breathing. Difficulty breathing is the most common symptom of burns to the inside of the mouth. Visit the emergency department immediately if a child burns the inside of their mouth by inhaling a hot substance.</li></ul> Treatment at the dentist's clinic:<ul><li>A dentist will diagnose the type of injury by looking at the insides of the mouth. (S)he may order a 3D x-ray of the mouth called if a fracture is suspected. A chest x-ray might be done if the dentist suspects the child to have swallowed a tooth. A dental x-ray might be done to diagnose the injury properly.</li><li>If the child’s injuries indicate they may have experienced additional injuries, the dentist may refer them to a doctor. The child may need to see a doctor if they experience:</li></ul><ol><li>Loss of consciousness or altered consciousness</li><li>Breathing difficulties</li><li>Nausea or vomiting</li><li>Bleeding that does not stop</li></ol>

Oral trauma refers to injuries to the mouth and/or teeth.

Oral injury in children

Juhi Mishra

It common for parents to wonder about which schooling system to got for their children. Following are some of the major differences between the two to help you decide which one to go for: <ul><li>Academic Environment</li></ul>In a regular school, children are exposed to an environment which is majorly controlled by the school.Homeschooling gives an opportunity to control the learning environment by minimising distractions. <ul><li>Individualised attention</li></ul>In a regular school, one teacher is there to attend to 20-30 students at one time.In a homeschool set-up there is an opportunity of one-on-one lessons. <ul><li>Curriculum</li></ul>In a regular school, the curriculum is pre-set.In a homeschool set-up, the curriculum may be designed as per the requirement of the child. <ul><li>Health and Safety</li></ul>In a regular school set up, the children are exposed to various kinds of germs and illnesses. Also the safety is a concern as the parents are unable to be around in such a set-up.Children in a homeschool set-up are saved from direct contact to diseases and germs. Also the safety of the child is under the parents’ control. <ul><li>Social aspect</li></ul>In a regular school, children get to meet, connect and socialise with children of their age.In a homeschool set-up, the children may miss out on the socialisation component, if they are not made to mingle in group activities on a regular basis. <ul><li>Travel</li></ul>In a regular school, there may be very limited opportunities for the children to travel and learn.Homeschool families may opt to travel together as a part of their education. <ul><li>Mastery vs. grades</li></ul>While in a regular school, grades may seem to be more important than the learning of a concept, hence, leading to mugging up of the content taught.In a home school set-up, mastery is given more importance hence leading to life-long learning. <ul><li>Religion</li></ul>Religion may not be the focus of teaching and learning in a regular school.Families may decide to take up religious studies as a part of their daily routine and also discuss science, literature and current happenings in the light of their religious beliefs in a homeschool set-up.

Conventional or regular schooling is when children go to an authorised school with other children to study as per the school norms and curriculum. While homeschooling is when the child is educated in the comfort of his/ her house.

Homeschooling vs Conventional Schooling

Acrophobia is the fear of heights that can cause anxiety and panic among children. Causes:<ul><li>Acrophobia is sometimes developed due to a traumatic experience in early years of a child’s life. Like falling from a great height, or closely watching someone from high place.</li><li>Acrophobia, can also develop without a known cause. In these cases, genetics or environmental factors may play a role.</li></ul> Physical symptoms:<ul><li>Increased sweating</li><li>Chest pain or tightness</li><li>Increased heartbeat</li><li>Nausea</li><li>Headache</li><li>Shaking and trembling</li><li>Feeling dizzy</li><li>Numbness</li><li>Shortness of breath</li><li>Upset stomach</li></ul> Psychological symptoms:<ul><li>Experiencing panic when the child sees high places</li><li>Child experiencing extreme fear of being trapped somewhere high up</li><li>Experiencing extreme anxiety and fear when the child has to climb stairs, look out a window, or drive along an overpass</li><li>Worrying excessively about encountering heights in the future</li></ul> Diagnosis:<ul><li>A mental health expert can diagnose phobia; keep a regular track of your child’s behaviour/health in particular situations and with objects.</li><li>Phobia diagnosis is based on diagnostic guidelines and a thorough clinical interview. If you feel that your child has a phobia, take him/her to a healthcare expert. Your child's doctor will either ask you or your child about the symptoms. The doctor might also take a medical, psychiatric, and family history.</li><li>Your child's doctor might also use the diagnostic criteria in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5).</li></ul> Treatment:<ul><li>Exposure therapy: In this type of therapy, your child will work with a therapist to slowly expose himself/herself to what (s)he is afraid of. For acrophobia, your child might start by looking at the pictures from the point of view of someone inside a tall building. The therapist might make your child watch video clips of people crossing tightropes, climbing, or crossing narrow bridges. Eventually, your child will progress and might go out onto a balcony or use a stepladder.</li><li>Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT): In CBT, you child will work with a therapist to challenge and reframe negative thoughts about heights. This approach may still include a bit of exposure to heights, but this is generally only done within the safe setting of a therapy session.</li><li>Virtual reality (VR): It is a treatment where your child will be exposed to computer simulations of heights. Getting the experience of a heighted place in the virtual world can help your child get over his/her fear in a setting that feels safe.</li><li>Modelling: In this method, the child sees other person facing the situation without fear and panic.</li><li>Medicines like tranquillisers and antidepressants (prescribed by a doctor) can be helpful along with the above treatments.</li></ul>

Acrophobia is the fear of heights that can cause anxiety and panic among children.

Acrophobia - Symptoms, Causes, Diagnosis, Treatment

Ravina Sewani

Parenting is a huge responsibility. And conflicts between you and your spouse due to different parenting styles is bound to happen because you will not agree on everything 100% all the time. The important thing here is to resolve the conflict and look past it and take the steps which are best for your child(ren). You and your spouse need to be on the same page and not be rigid and think, “My way is right. Your way is wrong.” A person’s parenting style is influenced by the way they were parented, their hopes, fears, and expectations from their child(ren), gender roles, cultural background, community, religion, politics, and socioeconomic status. Hence, it is a given fact that you and your spouse will have parenting style conflicts because you both were parented in a different way.Parenting conflicts also leaves children clueless as to what is expected out of them and how they are supposed to behave. Resolving the conflict:<ul><li>Inconsistency</li></ul>Both the parents have different rules and expectations for their child’s discipline, their routine, and their choices. Mom might say that a child cannot watch TV until the homework is done but dad might be completely okay with that. Because of such conflicts and inconsistencies, one parent inevitably undermines the authority of the other. Children are smart to catch up on your inconsistencies and will begin to either manipulate either of the parents for their good or will have more behavioural problems in future. Resolving this problem requires you and your spouse to be completely honest with each other about what your rules and expectations are. Write them down, review them and be sure they are workable. In areas in which you differ, find a compromise that you both can live with - and stick by it.<ul><li>Confusion</li></ul>Putting off the important discussions and decisions about matters like how much freedom is appropriate for the child, leaves the child puzzled and stressed as to what is expected of them. You and your spouse need to communicate about what is acceptable and what is not. You need to take the decisions and let your child(ren) know so that a child knows how to behave in the family.<ul><li>Competition</li></ul>It’s not only kids who feel that their parents love the other one more. Sometimes the tables turn, and there’s a rivalry between parents over their children’s attention and love. Children get stuck sometimes when the father wants to do something with the children (eg. go for fishing) and the mother wants them to do something else (eg. to tidy up the house). In such situations, children have to choose one over the other even if they don’t want to. To resolve this, parents need to find ways to be cooperative, not competitive, with each other. This doesn't mean that you have to agree or compromise on everything; but that you need to go with what’s the best for the child and the family as a whole. Sometimes the father can let go and the mother can do the same.<ul><li>Overt Conflict</li></ul>When parents have arguments over what’s right for their child(ren) and cannot come to a conclusion, one parent eventually gives in. This is not healthy as the parents at some later time are bound to have arguments over something else and this time, the arguments might heat up because of a previously unresolved issue. To resolve this, parents need to learn the skills of conflict resolution. These include:ListeningClarifying points of differenceTaking each other's feelings seriouslyGenerating alternative solutions togetherNegotiating<ul><li>Back Each Other Up</li></ul>Always present yourself as a team in front of your child(ren). Make it a rule that if one parent disciplines a child, the other parent must back it up, even if the other parent disagrees with the punishment. Later, when things are calm, you and your spouse can discuss alternate ways of handling things in private. If you don’t back each other up, your child will undermine your authority as parents. Every time you argue with your spouse over parenting, the focus shifts away from where it should be—your child’s behaviour.<ul><li>Go with the Gut</li></ul>When you and your spouse disagree on an issue and you can’t seem to find a compromise, then try to defer to the parent who feels more strongly about it. When one of the parent has a very strong positive/negative feeling about a child’s matter, the other parent should go along and trust the feelings of the other. For examples, you can say, “I feel so strongly about this. I’d like you to support me on this, even if you don’t see it the same way.”<ul><li>Empathise with your child, but don’t undermine your spouse</li></ul>If you don’t agree to what your spouse feels but nonetheless decide to ahead with their decision, never put down your spouse’s decision while siding with the child. For example, when your child wants to have a toy. You are ready but your spouse is not and at the end of the day you go ahead with not buying the toy for your child. This is what you can say to your child, “I know it’s hard for you when we won’t let you buy what you want. But be assured that we have the best interests for you at heart.” Tell your child that this is a joint decision even if behind closed doors, you and your spouse don’t completely agree.<ul><li>Take decisions when things are calm</li></ul>Talk about parenting decisions when you are calm and can listen to one another’s perspective without being angry or sarcastic. Calm makes it is easier for you to discuss things with respect. When the argument heats up, take a time-out and discuss things later. Don’t be hostile while discussing things with your partner. Hostility isn’t just yelling and fighting. Hostility can include sarcasm, dismissive comments, put-downs, subtle threats, and other forms of damaging communication.<ul><li>Understand each other’s family history</li></ul>Everyone is parented and brought up in a different way. This also influences the way we parent children. When you and your spouse don’t agree on something, try and understand what was your spouse’s childhood like, how was your spouse parented. You can tell them about your parenting and childhood as well. This way you will be able to understand why the other way parents in a particular way. This will help you to decide what is the best for your child quickly and without any chaos.<ul><li>Learn about parenting together</li></ul>Read parenting books and discuss them, or join a parenting support group. Select parenting experts you both trust.<ul><li>Accept your mistake</li></ul>Being stubborn and not accepting a mistake you have made and blaming your spouse can make your spouse angry. If you are wrong, be gracious enough to accept it.<ul><li>Forgive your spouse’s mistake</li></ul>If your spouse made a mistake, learn to forgive and forget. Once you have forgiven, don’t ever bring up the issue again. Never bring up past issues as they make things bitter.<ul><li>Get professional help</li></ul>If you feel like you’ve tried everything and are still not able to get on the same page with your spouse, you may need some professional help in the form of a therapist.

Every individual has different thought and opinions hence arguments between parents regarding the parenting of their child(ren) are bound to happen. But that doesn't mean that there's not a way out.

Resolving Parenting Conflict due to different Parenting Styles

Separation anxiety often develops after a significant stressful or traumatic event in the child's life, such as leaving child for&nbsp;school, a stay in the hospital, the death of a loved one or pet, or a change in environment (such as moving to another house or a change of schools). Measures which can be taken to deal with this situation:<ul><li>Good-byes should be quicker and loving: See them off with warmth and love. Kiss them bye, provide a special blanket or toy as you leave, keep the good-bye short and sweet. If you take longer time the child gets anxious, so make it quick.</li><li>Be consistent: Try to drop them at the same time each day, to avoid unexpected factors whenever you can.</li><li>Attention: While you are leaving your child, give your him/her full attention, be loving, and provide affection. Then say good-bye quickly despite their cries for you to stay.</li><li>Keep your promise: You’ll build trust and independence as your child becomes confident in his/her ability to be without you when you stick to your promise of return.</li><li>Be specific, child style: When you discuss your return, provide specifics that your child understands. If you know you’ll be back by 3:00 pm, tell it to your child on his/her terms; for example, say, “I’ll be back after reading time and before afternoon snack.” Define time in a way (s)he can understand.</li><li>Practice being apart: Leave the children off to grandma’s home, schedule play-dates, and allow friends and family to provide child care for you (even for an hour) on the weekend. Before starting child care or preschool, practice going to school and your good-bye ritual. Give your child a chance to prepare, experience, and deal in your absence!</li></ul> Separation anxiety hardly persists after pre-school years. In case of working parents, separation anxiety can occur to both parents as well as children. Above mentioned measures can be helpful in this case as well.

Separation anxiety can be difficult to deal with but things can be made easy by following a few measures.

Separation anxiety measures

Nikita Thacker

WHO (World Health Organisation) developed growth charts for babies which is followed by health professionals and is recommended by the Indian Academy of Paediatrics as well. Baby’s growth can be referred approximately with these charts. Boys and girls have separate growth patterns as boys are generally slightly heavier and taller than girls. Baby Girl Growth Chart 0-5 Years <img src="https://bee-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com/image/image_1591441772_hw_g_pn.png"> Baby Boy Growth Chart 0-5 Years <img src="https://bee-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com/image/image_1591441856_hw_b_pn.png"> However, many factors like genetics and nutritional status can affect a child’s growth pattern. Please check with your child's paediatrician to be completely sure about your child's growth parameters.

WHO (World Health Organisation) developed growth charts for babies which is followed by health professionals and is recommended by the Indian Academy of Paediatrics as well.

Height and Weight parameters

Every child needs full attention of a parent. While you are busy with the younger one, your elder child will experience a range of emotions, from excitement to jealousy or may be responsible and caring. In order to seek your attention, the elder child may show more tantrums or misbehave or refuse to eat. These emotions are short-lived but if not addressed well can have lasting impact on a child’s mind. Here are a few ways to make sure that your elder child does not feel neglected:<ul><li>Let them not feel left out: Take an extra care to ensure that the elder child never feels neglected (unintentionally though). Ask their suggestions for picking up clothes for newborn, choosing the toys for little one and more. Make sure you spend equal time with both the kids</li><li>Avoid giving excuses: Never make the younger one an excuse for not attending the elder child – “we can’t go to the park/playground as the baby is sleeping” “Keep quiet the baby will wake up” “After I attend the baby, I will listen to you” Instead tell him/her , “ We will play together when the baby wakes up, We will go to the park together May be giving a hope and the feeling of togetherness will help the child.</li><li>Pay more attention: Express extra care and love for elder one, increase your daily hugs and play some games or increase story time for the elder one.</li><li>Avoid comparing: This comes unintentionally but it can have a strategic impact on a child’s mind. Little things like who crawled first, child’s weight or who walked first can be taken as criticism by the elder one.</li></ul> Ensure both the children get equal attention and feel loved.

Every child needs full attention of a parent. So, pause and reflect on your parenting to make sure none of your children feel left out.

Managing sibling insecurity

You can homeschool your child via different approaches. To start with, there can be different approaches one may take. The way/approach majorly depends on the requirement and suitability of the parent and hence the planning may be done. Approach #1:<ul><li>Taking the child out of a regular school and start educating them at home without any affiliation with a School or Board. This way the children may learn in an independent manner and won’t have to follow a particular curriculum. The homeschooler family gets to explore all the resources, methods and content nationally and internationally.</li><li>Later, with the progress, the family may choose a Board which is suitable for the child(ren) to appear for their 10th examination and accordingly, they may be introduced to the curriculum.</li><li>This kind of set-up fit suits the children who are in elementary or middle school years. For children who are close to the 10th grade and have to sit for their board exam as well, one might want to look at other approaches since there is less time in hand.</li></ul>Approach #2:<ul><li>Some schools allow parents to enrol their children as a private student. In this approach, parents can choose to teach their children at home but have to follow the curriculum and examination process of the school.</li><li>In this approach, Parents have to personally approach the schools, that have affiliation with the Board they prefer (IB, SSC, IGCSE, NIOS etc.). In this case the homeschooler family will have to follow the standardised curriculum adopted by the school (they have enrolled into).</li></ul> Apart from the approaches, one may start with the following pointers:<ol><li>Understand the legalities involved</li><li>Locate homeschoolers nearby, in your city</li><li>Explore homeschooling methods/approaches</li><li>Design a plan suitable for your child</li><li>Attend book fairs, conferences and events</li><li>Spot your support network</li></ol>

The decision of homeschooling a child is a major one and needs to be taken in the light of researching all the pros and cons, legalities and challenges that come with the step.

Homeschooling your child

Alihusen Momin

The truth is - it is common for children to experience times of sadness. Although only about 2-3% of children will experience the type and extent of sadness that requires psychologists to diagnose. Which children experience frequent and persistent sad moods – and when?Children are more likely to experience sad moods when they have to deal with tough life circumstances.&nbsp;For example, children who are managing family separation, grief, physical illness, learning problems, family poverty, family ill health or other tough life situations are more likely to experience frequent sadness. What should parents of sad children do? 1. Remind yourself that your sad child is not feeling sad all the time (even if they feel they are).It’s normal for children (and adults) in the midst of sad moods to genuinely feel like they are sad all the time.&nbsp;They will often say to you, “I’m always sad”, they will express excessively negative opinions about their day, the event they just went to, their school day and their friends and classmates.&nbsp;Their self report may suggest to you that there is nothing positive happening for your child and that they feel bad all the time.&nbsp;However, this self report is not 100% true but simply a function of how the human brain works.&nbsp;When we are in negative moods, our brains are designed to focus on the problems.&nbsp;Children (and adults) will subconsciously “block out” positive memories, interactions, people and events when they are feeling bad.&nbsp;But this doesn’t mean they are not there.It is important for parents – and their children - to know that sadness is not constant.&nbsp;Even children who are frequently sad, have many moments each day of being absorbed in a task, enjoying an activity for a moment or to have some periods of time when they are looking forward to something.&nbsp;It’s important for us as parents, and our child, to remember this, and to help them identify these “shades of grey” in their mood.&nbsp; 2. Over time, your child will gradually feel less sad, less often.Persistent and long lasting depression in childhood is extremely rare.&nbsp;The chances are excellent that your child will feel less sad, less often at some point in the near future.&nbsp;Having worked with hundreds of children, I know that almost all children will have reductions in sadness over time.&nbsp;Be assured:&nbsp;it is very likely that life will change for the better for your child at some point.&nbsp;They will adjust to difficult life events, grief will resolve, they will have a change in peer group, they will find an activity or part of life which feels meaningful and interesting for them, or life will change for them in some other way.&nbsp;Even if the sources of sadness do not change significantly, they are likely to learn to think about life and cope with life in ways which make sadness less frequent.&nbsp; 3. As parents you can help your sad child.Parents often feel helpless when their attempts to help their sad child don’t seem to help.&nbsp;They feel like there is nothing they can do.&nbsp;This is not true.&nbsp; As parents we can coach and support our child to help themselves to feel less sad and to cope with tough life events.&nbsp;No, there is no quick and easy fix,&nbsp;but we can make a difference slowly as time passes. Some practical ideas which parents can use to help their child cope with sad times.1.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Be empathic.&nbsp;Be “with them”.&nbsp;Say “I’m sorry you had a hard day” and “I’m sorry you are feeling sad at the moment”.&nbsp;2.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Try to be patient with your child.&nbsp;Remember your child can’t “make themselves” be positive or happy.&nbsp;3.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Ask about specific “sad time triggers”.&nbsp;Although children will sometimes be sad “for no reason”, it is more often that there are at least some situations, thoughts or events which do trigger or cause sadness.&nbsp;Try to help children identify at least some of these – and then think about how these can be managed differently (or avoided).&nbsp;4.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Although we need to be on the lookout for and ask about triggers, it’s also important to NOT talk endlessly about the sadness or the problems.&nbsp;Having hour long conversations (especially before bed) may make things worse.&nbsp;Tell your child “we will talk about this again soon, but now let’s read a book/watch TV” etc.5.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Try to also limit your frustration with others – don’t blame other people for your child’s sadness.&nbsp;Teachers, doctors, parents and other children aren’t the (sole) source of the problem and they can’t “fix” your child either.6.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Gently teach children to notice the ups and downs of their mood – pick your moment but empathically challenge comments like “I’m always sad” – feeling this way is part of sadness, but is not 100% true.&nbsp;Ask them to notice when they felt good or interested or absorbed in something and sadness wasn’t their focus.7.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Teach children to notice the positive aspects of their day and positive events in the future.&nbsp;Put in “gratitude” exercises around the tea table occasionally and “my interesting week” exercises.&nbsp;Make some of these “past” focused, and others focused on the future.8.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Constantly work on social connection – it is very difficult to reduce sadness in children if they are isolated and have no positive source of friendship.&nbsp;Even if there are other obvious sadness triggers (ie grief, family separation, learning problems, health problems) – increasing social connection will help children feel less sad as they deal with them.9.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Keep working on helping your child finding sources of self esteem and meaning.&nbsp;Children (like adults) need to feel they are good at something, or that there is something interesting and important for them to do.&nbsp;10.&nbsp;&nbsp;Work on physical activity, sleep and nutrition.&nbsp;Sadness eases when children are more physically fit and active, get enough sleep and eat well.&nbsp;Don’t neglect these areas.11.&nbsp;&nbsp;Teach children ways to cope with periods of sadness.&nbsp;Help them make a list of “busy brain” activities so that when they are sad they do not withdraw or ruminate for long.&nbsp;Help them use words to tell people about their sadness rather than get angry or cry.&nbsp;Help them identify a problem which triggers their sadness and see if they can come up with potential steps to manage it. Finally, look after yourself.&nbsp;As said several times in this article, supporting children who get sad is a challenging and stressful experience for parents.&nbsp;If you are to manage any challenging and stressful experience, you need to look after your own physical, mental and emotional health.&nbsp;Take care of yourself, talk to others, get professional support, take breaks from parenting or do whatever else works for you in looking after yourself.

The truth is - it is common for children to experience times of sadness. This articles include some practical ideas which parents can use to help their child cope with sad times.

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