A few things said in haste messes up a child's brain and have a considerable impact psychologically, like low self-confidence, self-doubt, anxiety, depression, and so much more. Throughout your parenting journey, make sure you are not saying things or acting out in a way that could damage your child(ren) mentally. Sometimes parents are not aware that their actions affect their child(ren) negatively, and sometimes parents overlook it and justify their bad behaviour due to their stress. Here are a few practices which you should avoid telling your child(ren): Pick these up right now. I don't want you leaving a mess like that again.Instead, say:&nbsp;I don't like this mess you are leaving. Can you please clean this up when you have time? You should know better.Instead, say:&nbsp;It's OK not to know some things. Here, I will help you out. You're a bad kid.Instead, say:&nbsp;Can you tell me why you behaved/acted in such a way? I feel it wasn't right, is there anything you want to talk about? Or Else.&nbsp;Example: Eat dinner, or else you won't get your dessert.Instead, say:&nbsp;How about you take a healthy dinner quickly so that we can all enjoy dessert together?&nbsp; Stop being shy.Instead, say:&nbsp;You can come to say hi to your aunt when you are ready. You should set a good example for your brother.Instead, say:&nbsp;Your brother looks up to you; you're such a good role model. Wait until your father/mother gets home.Instead, say:&nbsp;You're grounded because you said a bad word. I will never forgive you.Instead, say:&nbsp;What you did was not acceptable, but we can look past it and move on if you think the next time. I'm ashamed of you.Instead, say:&nbsp;Although I feel bad about what you did, I love you for who you are. Don't worry; everything will be OK.Instead, say:&nbsp;Mom and Dad are always nearby, and we're going to set up a plan in case of emergency. Here, I'll do it.Instead, say:&nbsp;Let's do it together!" Don't cryInstead, say:&nbsp;I know you're sad, and it's OK to cry. It's OK to let out your emotions. Let me hug you. If you don't clean your room, you're going to be in big trouble.Instead, say:&nbsp;When your room is clean, then you may go out to play. Family finances aren't your business.Instead, say:&nbsp;Finances are how we make and manage money, and when you like, we will teach you what we know. I'm disappointed in you.Instead, say:&nbsp;I'm surprised and was not expecting this to occur. Come here, NOW.Instead, say:&nbsp;It's almost time to go. Do you want one minute or two? Because I said so.Instead, say:&nbsp;Explaining why you feel a certain way about something. We can't afford that.Instead, say:&nbsp;We're not going to buy that because we're saving our money for more important things. Don't talk to strangers.Instead, say:&nbsp;What would you do if a man you don't know offers you candy and a ride home? OR If anyone makes you feel sad, scared, or confused, you need to tell me right away. You should listen to adults.Instead, say:&nbsp;You need to listen to your parents. Don't be greedy!Instead, say:&nbsp;Would you please be kind and share your toys with your friend? Who taught you this? (about mischief)Instead, say:&nbsp;Why did you do that? Look at this lovely girl.Instead, say:&nbsp;I love you. You can do this too. I do everything for you.Instead, say:&nbsp;We do things for you because we love you, so please do for me. Do I have to tell you this 100 times?Instead, say:&nbsp;I've told you this before, but could you please. That's only for boys/girls.Instead:&nbsp;Say nothing at all. Try your best at raising gender-neutral children. You live under my roof, so you follow my rules.Instead, say:&nbsp;You know the household rules. Please stick to them. That's how I was raised.Instead, say:&nbsp;I don't think it's a good idea to do [ ]. Even my parents used to tell me that [ ]. You're just like your mother/father!Instead say:&nbsp;I’m not happy with [ ] because [ ]. I told you so.Instead, say:&nbsp;I'm sorry to hear about [ ] ... let this be a lesson. It's just a little white lie.Instead, explain to them that it's OK to use white lies to be polite and not hurt someone's feelings. Explain to them the fine line between lies and little white lies. Man up. / Be a man.Never disregard your son's feelings. Don't teach them that showing emotions is weak. To show emotions is only human. Why can't you be more like your sister?Instead, say:&nbsp;I don't quite like this behaviour of yours. Do you think we can work on it? If you loved me, you wouldn't do (this/that).Don't teach them that love needs to be proven all the time. Love comes without ifs and buts. I wish you'd never been born. / I hate you.No matter how angry you are, this is the worst thing to say. You would be scarring your child. Why can't you do anything right?Instead, say: What's the barrier? Is there anything I can help you with? I don't believe you.Instead, say: This comes as a shock for me. But I am sure you can tell me the whole thing. There's nothing to be afraid of.Instead, say:&nbsp;Everyone has their fair share of fears. We appreciate that you shared your feelings with us. We promise we will work on this together. You're lazy/stupid/selfish.Never label your child. Never. Your friends don't do that.Comparison will never bring any positive change. Accept your child for who they are and appreciate them. You should have done better.Praise them for their achievement. Do not over expect. You don't know what you're talking about. / You're too young to know what you want.Often children know what they want or how they feel. Saying this will show your distrust in their feelings. You'll never be able to do that.Instead, encourage and push your child to do better, of course, without any comparison. You're so fat/skinny, or You're going to get fat/skinny.Never attribute a child's identity to their looks. You make me so mad.Calm your anger down, and then talk to your child(ren).&nbsp;Instead, say:&nbsp;We will talk about this after a while when I am in the right state of my mind. Impact of such phrases on children:<ol><li>Antisocial behaviour</li><li>Poor resilience</li><li>Depression</li><li>Aggression</li><li>Lack of empathy</li><li>Difficulty in relationships</li><li>Self-doubt</li><li>Lack of self-confidence</li><li>Anxiety</li></ol>

A few things said in haste messes up a child's brain and have a considerable impact psychologically, like low self-confidence, self-doubt, anxiety and so on

Speaking Gently: Things you should never say to your child

A few things said in haste messes up a child’s brain and have a huge impact psychologically.

Things You Should Never Say to Your Child

It's time to get creative and know that your children will remember the fun, no matter what you end up doing.&nbsp; <ul><li>Balloon Balloon:</li></ul>Kids love balloons so wake them to lots of balloons. Stand over the bed and shower them with a laundry basket full of balloons and pieces of curled ribbon. Or scatter balloons in their room after they've fallen asleep the night before so they wake up to a sea of colour.<img src="https://bee-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com/image/birthday-balloons-in-room-2.jpg_image_1637134022133.jpg" width="309" style="cursor: nesw-resize;"> <ul><li>Make a Paper Crown:</li></ul>Decorative paper, scissors, and a small piece of tape are all you need to craft a cute crown for your birthday king or queen. Sticking with the royal theme, let your child choose a title or name they'd like to be called for the day.<img src="https://bee-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com/image/papercrown-main.jpg_image_1637134039436.jpg" width="310" style=""> <ul><li>Dress in their Favourite Colour:</li></ul>Favourite colours are a big deal to kids. The whole family dressing in their favourite colour is a beautiful sight to smile for them.<img src="https://bee-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com/image/photo-1511348547654-09ef00c65feb.jfif_image_1637142205348.jfif" width="312" style=""> <ul><li>Let them Decorate the Cake:</li></ul>Make a cake or buy one and allow your child to do the decoration. They can include their older siblings and do the teamwork. Provide them with chocolate chips, icing sugar, colourful gems, whipped cream. They would enjoy it so much.<img src="https://bee-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com/image/toddler-decorating-cake.jpg_image_1637134398150.jpg" width="313" style=""> <ul><li>Treasure Hunt:</li></ul>Play treasure hunt with them. You can hide their gifts in different places and leave clues for them to search for it. It's always fun to figure out riddles and clues.<img src="https://bee-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com/image/1155287281-1024x700.jpg_image_1637134817639.jpg" width="312" style=""> <ul><li>Watch their Favourite Movie:</li></ul>Kids love to watch their favourite movie again and again. Fix some time and all the family and friends&nbsp;can have a small get-together followed by a movie night. You all can book a mini theatre and have more fun.<img src="https://bee-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com/image/homes_outdoor_theaters_02474.jpg-df9a7-1226x0-c-default.jpg_image_1637135064640.jpg" width="313"><ul><li>Size Them Up:</li></ul>Each year, mark their height on the wall, take their hand-prints or take a photo in the same spot so you can see how much they grow and change each year.<img src="https://bee-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com/image/74e1c2f084a4a242417979fab7d0f59a.jpg_image_1637138211985.jpg" width="105" style=""><img src="https://bee-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com/image/img_1974.jpg_image_1637138084741.jpg" width="212" style=""> <ul><li>Gift Hamper:</li></ul>Give a birthday gift hamper with all the little things the child has ever asked for once in a while, like some small toy, pencil, stopwatch, globe or some book of their favourite character. Sometimes picking up little things they told you once makes them happier and they feel heard and very special.<img src="https://bee-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com/image/adobestock_85273473.jpeg_image_1637141848847.jpeg" width="309" style=""><ul><li>Decorate with Pictures:</li></ul>Fill a wall or a sheet of poster board with some of your favourite photos of the birthday kid from birth to present day, or just from the past year.<img src="https://bee-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com/image/birthday-party-decoration-500x500.jpeg_image_1637138745386.jpeg" width="307" style=""><ul><li>Write and Give Letters:</li></ul>Write an annual birthday letter to your child highlighting special moments and milestones from the year. You can also write letters to your child throughout the year and gift them together on his birthday. The letters may have funny interesting incidents and events. There are so many fun things you can do together with your child to make their birthday special. And enjoy to the fullest.<img src="https://bee-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com/image/1200-173940516-child-giving-card.jpg_image_1637139010443.jpg" width="306"> Shower them with lots and lots of Love.

It's time to get creative and know that your children will remember the fun, no matter what you end up doing. Start with creative decorations, balloons, gifts, cake designs, and party games.

Creative Birthday Celebration Ideas for Children

Your child's birthday is special not just for your child but for you as well. Try keeping it minimal but yet full of memories.﻿

In a joint family, every member takes their turn to nurture and nourish the child. Joint families are a boon to working parents or otherwise too. Children get to learn to respond and interact with others, adapt to changes and people. Raising a child in a joint family also becomes a bit easier on the mother because of the whole support system. Like every coin has two sides, bringing up a child in a joint family also has its own set of pros and cons. <ul><li>A joint family has too many authoritative figures which usually can give contradicting signals to a child. In a joint family, the same message should come from all the adults in the family. If jumping on the bed is not allowed, then the same message should come from both parents and grandparents.</li><li>It Is given that the parenting styles of grandparents and parents are going to differ. And when the differences arise, children are quick to catch those. So whenever you feel conflicts arising, it is better to sit down and talk about the differences when the child is NOT around. Set ground rules about raising your child.</li><li>In a joint family, a child learns good family values from the elder family members.</li><li>Children in a joint family are less hooked on gadgets as everyone in the family is ready to cater to their needs, be it emotional, social, physical, or in academics.</li><li>Making decisions for a child might get conflicting in the joint families as the grandparents tend to impose their thoughts and opinions. Sure, at times the help and insights are great but at the end of the day, it is solely the right of parents to decide the best for their child.</li></ul> In the end, it is up to parents to weigh the pros and cons of raising a child in joint and nuclear families and then decide what’s best for their child(ren).

A joint family is a large family where the grandparents, father, mother, uncle, aunt and their children live unitedly under one roof.

Parenting in a Joint Family | Types of Family

A joint family is a large family where the grandparents, father, mother, uncle, aunt and their children live unitedly under one roof.

Parenting in a Joint Family

“There is no gift a parent can give his child that is better than good manners.”“Respect your children and talk to them with good manners and a likeable method.”"Whoever wishes that his children are safe from disinheritance, he should help them perform good deeds.”“The best gift from parents to their children is education and upbringing.”&nbsp;“Play with them for the first seven years of their life; then teach them for the next seven years; then advise them for the next seven years.”&nbsp;“May Allāh have mercy on the person that helps his child in doing good.”&nbsp;&nbsp;“Love children and be kind to them."&nbsp;“Treat your children fairly, treat your children fairly.”&nbsp;&nbsp;"The best thing a father provides to his child is good manners and ethical training.”&nbsp;&nbsp;“May Allah bless the parents who trained their children to behave justly with them."&nbsp;“Kiss your children profusely, because every time you kiss the child, Allah will advance your position in Heaven by one stage."&nbsp;“Maintain justice among your children in gifts, just like you would like them to be just with you in goodness and affection.”&nbsp;“Like your children and treat them with affection and kindness. When you make a promise to them, you must keep it, because children consider you their sustainer.”&nbsp;“Respect your children and give them a good upbringing that Allah blesses you."&nbsp;“Anybody who called a child, saying that he would give him a certain thing, and did not give it, speaks a lie.”&nbsp;&nbsp;“Never beat the children if they cry. Fulfil their needs. Because, for the first four months of the life of a child’, its cries are a witness to the Existence and Unity of Allah, Almighty."

Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) Hadiths On Parent-Child Relationship. The most basic and necessary manners that teach us how to raise a child. 

Prophet Muhammad Hadiths On Parent-Child Relationship Part 1

Parent-child Relationship is one of the things that is the most sacred thing in the world. Hadiths by Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) related to this beautiful relationship will tell us its importance.

Prophet Muhammad Hadiths On Parent Child Relationship Part 1

If your child is laughing without any specific reason or if (s)he is talking, crying or staying silent way too much without any understandable reason, this might indicate that your child is unable to understand what is going on in a particular situation. When children have insecurity of being judged as someone who cannot gauge what is going around in his/her space, they react in a way in which people around them are not able to catch the fact that the child is not understanding anything happening around him/her. From the child’s perspective, (s)he feels, "Come on! I don’t get it. Why do you want me to understand everything”. They choose not to be vocal about how they feel. So they keep reacting in odd ways. Sometimes children are scared and think "If I go say that I don’t understand this and ask again, my parents will get angry and scold me.” You need to analyse the scenarios in which your child laughs too much. Ask you this question - Is this situation particularly funny and laughable or is my child just acting oddly because of (s)he lacks understanding of the situation? If you feel that your child lacks understanding, talk to them in private and ensure them that you are there to understand them and not mock them or be angry at them. Reassure them that if they don't feel right about anything, they can come to you and talk to you; there will be no judgements. If things are out of control and you cannot help manage your child's behaviour, you should consult a child psychologist who can help you solve this problem by taking steps in the right direction.

Pay attention to the situations in which your child laughs too much; this will help you to understand the problem better.

When a child laughs too much

Pay attention to the situations in which your child laughs too much; this will help you to understand the problem better.

Palak Vyas

Today your child might just have asked about next door kid’s toys but tomorrow (s)he might have many questions like “Why can some people go on foreign trips and why can’t we?”. “Why does that boy have such an expensive suit and I don't have it? In short, you will have to give him/her some idea about money and money matters. When you start any conversation on wealth with your child, you should start with the concept of budgeting. Give them at least a rough idea about savings and family values regarding money. Showing them a larger picture will enable them to understand whatever you will explain to them further.While you are talking about money, indirectly you are teaching them about their relationship with money. So don’t sound judgemental, bragging, jealous or envious while talking about wealth. Keep all your notions aside and give them plain information and leave it up to them to analyse and come to conclusions. Explain money in a straight and plain manner. You can tell them that some people are born rich (hereditary wealth), some people have just what they need, whereas there are some whose basic needs are not met. There are people who work very hard but they are not paid enough. It is neither easy to understand nor is it fair. You too can show your confusion over wealth distribution. You can also explain to them that it also depends on how the family decides to spend. It depends on an individual and their preferences and passion about where they want to spend money. You can teach your child to appreciate what they have instead of thinking about things they can’t have. This is very difficult even for an adult but the more you emphasise on teaching appreciation, eventually, your child learns to do so.

It is difficult to talk about money matters with children but it must be done.

Talking about money matters with children

When a child raises lifestyle questions, it is about time to talk to them about money matters in the family. Read the article to know more.

financial talks with child

When a child raises lifestyle questions, it is about time to talk to them about money matters in the family. Read the article to know more.

Talking about money matters with children

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