Mustafa Lokhandwala

Permissive parenting has very few rules and expectations of children. Most times, the parents are loving and express caring about their children, but they don’t see their children as mature or capable enough to carry out certain tasks or responsibilities that require self-control. This style has also been linked to riskier behaviours in older children, like heavy drinking in adolescents and alcohol-related problems as young adults. These parents do not expect mature behaviour from their children and often seem more like a friend than a parental figure. Ask their children's opinions on major decisions. Emphasize their children's freedom rather than responsibility. Have few rules or standards of behaviour, any rules they do have are inconsistent. May use bribery such as toys, gifts, and food as a means to get a child to behave. Characteristics Permissive parents are highly responsive to their children’s needs and nurture their talents and personality. But they are least demanding because they have low expectations on discipline and self-regulation from their children. <ol><li>Responsive and demanding –&nbsp;Permissive parents are warm and responsive, and that's a good thing. Parents show affectionate which create a secure attachment in relationships. It protects a child from stress and anxiety.</li><li>Friendly behaviour -&nbsp;The parenting style is characterized by parents having a very friendly attitude towards their children. The parents behave more like friends with their kids.</li><li>Loving and Nurturing –&nbsp;Parent often loves and adores their children. The parent will respond to the child’s emotional needs, whether truly necessary or not. They typically do not lack in this department. If a child is not being affectionate, a permissive mom or dad will often try to buy their child’s love and affection with gifts and bribery.</li><li>Self-control –&nbsp;In this style parent behaviour towards their child leads to bad habits in terms of nutrition, screen time, poor sleep schedule and many other aspects of life. A child is not able to understand the long-term effects of these poor choices.</li><li>Child freedom -&nbsp;Permissive parents allow their children to do as they please. These types of parents may even be afraid to set limits. With free roam, a child will over-indulge in unwanted things. In the parent’s eyes, this allows the child to be “true to their nature.”&nbsp;</li><li>Uses gifts and bribery -&nbsp;When a child acts up, permissive parents are often afraid to discipline their child. Instead, they will use bribes (candy, money, electronics, etc.) to persuade the child to do what they want.</li></ol> Effects on Children Children may love the permissive parenting style as it gives them the maximum freedom without any strings attached. But it could be problematic in the long-run. <ul><li>Struggle&nbsp;to learn good problem-solving and decision-making skills.</li><li>Display&nbsp;low academic achievement.</li><li>They may be&nbsp;demanding and have difficulty sharing.</li><li>Lack of boundaries results in&nbsp;insecurity in a child(ren).</li><li>May not take responsibility for their behaviour.</li><li>Show&nbsp;more aggression&nbsp;and&nbsp;less emotional&nbsp;understanding.</li><li>Unable to manage&nbsp;their habits and behaviour.</li><li>More likely to be&nbsp;overweight.</li></ul> Pros of Permissive Parenting As this parenting style focuses on being a friend to a child rather than a parent, the parents understand their children better, and communication becomes easy as they grow old. Here are some more benefits of permissive parenting: Self-assurance -&nbsp;When children are encouraged to express themselves freely, they will become more confident and willing to try new things, regardless of the consequences. Unconditional love is the key to raising a child who values him or herself.Exploration&nbsp;- Permissive parenting allows children to have more freedom, thus inspiring them to undertake new adventures with a greater sense of confidence.Creativity&nbsp;– Parents allow freedom and not limit their children; Hence they experiment with all sorts of passions and hobbies creative and imaginative play children can grow emotionally, socially, intellectually, and even physically. Cons of Permissive Parenting Giving excessive leniency may have significant negative consequences. Let’s see what the drawbacks of permissive parenting are: A conflict between needs and wants -&nbsp;As children grow older, they might demand a lot of things and have unrealistic and unreasonable expectations. They need guidance and limit-setting from their parents. Since parents do not want to upset their children, they give their children everything they ask for. The child does not learn the difference between needs and wants.Lack of time management -&nbsp;In the absence of rules and behaviour at home, these children may not learn the value of time. They might spend too much time watching television or playing online games.Lack of parental control -&nbsp;In permissive parenting, the child may come to feel that they are in charge rather than their parents, and experience that can generate significant anxiety.Emotional imbalance -&nbsp;Children who do not have limits set on their behaviour can have difficulty regulating their emotions, especially when their needs are not met.

Permissive parents usually take on more of a friend role than a parent role. They often encourage their children to talk with them about their problems, but they usually don't put much effort into discouraging poor choices or bad behavior.

Permissive Parenting

Palak Vyas

Points to keep in mind while buying and using the stroller: <ol><li>Buy a stroller that is specifically designed for your child’s age, height and weight. Newborn babies should be able to lie down fully in the stroller.</li><li>Five-point harness: Shoulder straps, a strap between the legs and waist belts that connect together.</li><li>If the stroller has a hand-rest at the front of the seat, ensure that the opening between the hand-rest and the seat can be closed when the stroller is used in the reclined position. This means the hand-rest needs to be an adjustable one.</li><li>Check for strollers that have brakes which are easy to use and works as per required.</li><li>Ensure it doesn’t have any parts that pinch your child’s fingers or is some kind of a choking hazard.</li><li>A stroller should be stable. The wheelbase should be wide and the seat should be low in the frame.</li><li>It should not tip backwards while in resting position.</li><li>The leg openings should be appropriately designed so that the child’s legs don’t slip off.</li><li>The handlebars should be at your waist level or maybe lower than that.</li><li>Never leave a child unattended in a stroller.</li><li>Always use the safety harness while using the stroller.</li><li>Ensure to put on brakes when the stroller is not in use.</li></ol>

A stroller is a wheeled vehicle to transport children generally in a sitting up or semi-reclined position by a person pushing on a handle attached to the stroller

Selecting a stroller for your baby

This is absolutely your personal choice. In some cultures and traditions, it is compulsory to pierce the baby's ears. Whereas in some cases people do it just for fashion. Certain points to keep in mind while getting your baby’s ears pierced: <ul><li>If you want to get your daughter’s ear pierced, get it done at an early age. Because after she grows up, it will be difficult for you to stop her from touching her ears. If her hands are dirty and she constantly touches her ears, it can lead to infection.</li><li>Piercing should be done hygienically and by professionals only.</li><li>Do not use danglers at the time of piercing because they might get tangled in your baby’s dress and may worsen the pain.</li><li>Using gold and silver studs reduces chances of any allergic reactions.</li><li>After you have gotten your child’s ears pierced, do not make them wear very heavy earrings at a young age.</li></ul>

Get your child's ear pierced only if they like it.

Getting your child's ears' pierced

Conversations revolving around the situations and scenarios of the world are always uncomfortable to address. Keep the following pointers in mind:<ul><li>Let your child raise questions and take this as an opportunity to teach empathy to your child.</li><li>Let them know it's sad to know that some people are homeless.</li><li>Depending upon their maturity, you can explain them or just answer in a sentence. Keep it as short as possible.</li><li>Tell them, “Some people do not have enough money for a house.”</li><li>If your child is very young, (s)he may be satisfied with this answer. Avoid giving extra information.</li><li>Teach them that there are certain things we cannot change completely but we can definitely do something to help others.</li><li>Encourage them to donate toys, books, food etc. to the needy people.</li><li>Tell them to be grateful for what all things they have in life and explain to them that if we have been gifted with goodness in life then it is our responsibility to help the underprivileged.</li><li>Inform your child about some government and non-government organisations, which are there to help and how you can also make your contributions.</li></ul>

It becomes a little awkward to explain such things to your child.

Talking about homeless people with your child

Symptoms of an ant bite:<ul><li>Redness</li><li>Swelling</li><li>White yellow pustule at the site of the bite</li></ul> What to do after an ant bite:<ul><li>﻿Clean the bite site immediately with warm soapy water, then with plain water and wipe it dry.</li><li>Apply an ice pack or cold compress.</li><li>Do not touch or pop it unnecessarily.</li><li>Apply antibiotic ointment on the site of the bite.</li><li>If the child is old enough, give him/her paediatrician’s prescribed pain reliever and oral antihistamines to reduce pain and itching if it’s unbearable.</li><li>If there is facial swelling, itching, stomach cramps or trouble breathing, immediately seek medical attention.</li></ul>

An ant bite usually goes unnoticed until some symptoms arise.

Dealing with ant bite in children

Samiksha Choithani

Proper measures post the shock without panicking will be helpful. Stay calm and help your child in the best way you can. <ul><li>Electric shocks among children are quite common in a residential setup, hence children are prone to low voltage shocks. Child suffering from electric shock may not have an external injury, however burns may be visible.</li><li>Hands, heels and head are the most common parts that will get into direct connection with the electric points during the occurrence of electric shock</li><li>In case the child feels difficulty in breathing, chest pain or abdominal pain there are high chances of internal injuries.</li><li>There are high chances of shock in mouth as children have a habit of biting electrical cord; this may cause burn on lip. If it’s a major shock, immediately rush to the doctor. Do not worry if there are no noticeable burns on skin (redness or sore lips), minor shock injury will heal naturally. If the child is breathing normally and not complaining about any pain that means the child is safe.</li></ul>

Proper measures post the shock without panicking will be helpful. Stay calm and help your child in the best way you can.

Emergency situation with children: Electric shock

Ravina Sewani

There is no specific age limit as to when a child should get his/her first haircut. However, in some cultures, such as in Hinduism, it is believed that a child should get the tonsure ("mundan" as it is called in the Hindu culture) done by the end of the first year. If you don't hold such beliefs, it does not matter if you get your child's first hair cut done at 2 months or 2 years. A few signs which will help you know when the child needs the first haircut:<ul><li>When hair starts to get in your baby’s eyes or is bothersome on his or her neck</li><li>When “fly-a-ways” on the sides start to look like wings</li><li>When the hair is making your child extremely irritated</li></ul> Tips to keep in mind BEFORE that first hair cut:<ol><li>Before you take your child for the first haircut, you should take him/her to your own hair appointments. This will make their fear go away and they will understand that getting a hair cut does not physically hurt.</li><li>Take an extra towel/shirt to the salon if in case your child does not want to wear the hair-cut cape.</li><li>Choose the time of the haircut wisely; it should not be your child's nap time or snack time or even playtime.</li><li>Going to a kid's salon is the best approach but if you cannot access a kid's salon, ask around and book an appointment with the stylist who is known to work with kids' haircuts.</li><li>Reach the salon 15 minutes before your appointment time, so your child gets accustomed to the environment. Do not reach very early as the wait will make your child cranky.</li><li>Kids salons usually have playthings and chocolates, lollipops, cars, books etc. to keep children distracted until their turn. If you are not going to a kid's salon, take your child's favourite toy or a book.</li></ol> Tips to have a smooth experience DURING the first haircut:<ol><li>Do not use the word "cut", use a less scary word like "style", "trim". Tell them, "We are going to get your hair styled".</li><li>If they refuse to sit in the styling chair, make them sit on your lap. This way they will be less scared as you would be with them.</li><li>If they have an elder sibling, schedule their haircut on the same way. Your child will get confidence by watching their sibling getting the haircut while they get theirs. If your child has no sibling, you can schedule any of your family member's haircut.</li><li>Do not lose your calm. If you panic, your child will take up the vibe and get even more uncomfortable. So remember to be relaxed at all times.</li></ol>

Convincing your child for the first haircut can be difficult. Nevertheless, you can make this easier.

Going for the first hair cut of your baby

Try the following to help your child boost his/her self-confidence: 1. Step back and let them choose.Let your child take risks, obviously stay around and stay watchful. Let them make their own choices, solve problems and stick with what they start. Do give children choices within a reasonable set of options pre-selected by you. This can make them feel empowered. 2. Don’t do everything for your child:Be patient and let him do his own thing. For a preschooler to dress is a challenge. Let them take this challenge. New challenges make them more competent and confident. For example, letting them wear their shoes, wearing their clothes, etc. 3. Assign age appropriate household chores:Let little difficulties and risks and problems come in their ways. For example, you can ask them to arrange their bags for school and fold their little clothes or helping you arrange dining table with glasses and plates.. Maybe you can help a little if required. When they accomplish, they will have a feeling that yes they can do it. That is what builds self confidence in them. 4. Let your child know it is okay to be imperfect:Show by example that it is fine if anything is not done perfectly. Give them understanding between perfection and excelling. Teach them that we can always excel and do better than before. 5. Don’t offer insincere praises:Children can easily distinguish between real and fake compliments. Like if they had made a not so good drawing, don’t say wow, that’s amazing. Instead focus on its details and tell him/her that (s) he has added beautiful details in the picture. 6. Appreciate individuality:Don't compare your child either with his friends or siblings. No one likes comparison .Appreciate your child’s uniqueness and teach them the same. 7. Make clear that your love is unconditional:Be always clear that you would love them no matter what. You may not like the habit and you may be a little harsh to them for a bad habit but that doesn’t mean you stop loving them.

Self esteem or self confidence plays a huge role in an individual's life. Encouraging a child's confidence at the right time can do wonders.

Promoting child’s self esteem

You can consider the following points while handling and dealing with a child whose loved one has died in the family: <ul><li>Talk straight and precise but with care and compassion. For example, if you want to disclose that the child’s grandpa has died, tell them, “I have some bad news for you, your grandpa died yesterday night due to a heart attack”. Take a pause; let the child understand what it means.</li><li>On hearing such news, different kids may have different reactions. Some children go silent, some might ask questions, and some might even start crying. Be sure to stay around and in case you can’t be around, hand over your child to someone close to him/her like. Give them warm hugs and cuddle with them if they feel like it. Give them some time.</li><li>If your child is old enough to understand, you can explain to him/her the reason behind the death; for example, if grandpa died due to a heart attack, explain that people can die of physical illness. When their heart stops working, they can die.</li><li>Prepare your child beforehand about things that are about to happen. For example, prepare them for funerals, burials, and people coming for prayers and condolences. Let them know what they can expect for a few days in the family and the house.</li><li>Talk about rituals and what happens during that ritual. How are people going to greet or what they might say, “My condolences or I am sorry for your loss are a few polite words people may say. We should thank them for coming”.</li><li>Give them time to heal from the loss, and during that time, stay around and make them comfortable to express themselves in whatever ways they want.</li><li>Help your child feel better by remembering the dead loved one and their happy stories.</li><li>Make your child realise that death is irreversible; people don’t come back once they die. But we can always cherish their memories.</li><li>To explain the concept of death, take some examples from nature’s cycle. Please show them some dead butterfly on the porch or some dead plant and explain how this dead animal or plant can’t take any food or water. Likewise, tell them that dead people can’t breathe, can’t take food or water, and they won’t be around us anymore.</li><li>Do not try to protect your child from pain. Tell them the truth. When you explain it clearly, with care and compassion, they learn to deal with it gradually.</li><li>If you feel that your child is not coping after your many efforts, you can take them to a counsellor, who can certainly help your child.</li></ul>

Such times can be very difficult with a little one around. It is important to take their feelings into consideration.

gender bias parenting concerns

Parenting issues are a part of the everyday parenting journey. Following article(s) might help you with your concern(s).