A few things said in haste messes up a child's brain and have a considerable impact psychologically, like low self-confidence, self-doubt, anxiety, depression, and so much more. Throughout your parenting journey, make sure you are not saying things or acting out in a way that could damage your child(ren) mentally. Sometimes parents are not aware that their actions affect their child(ren) negatively, and sometimes parents overlook it and justify their bad behaviour due to their stress. Here are a few practices which you should avoid telling your child(ren): Pick these up right now. I don't want you leaving a mess like that again.Instead, say:&nbsp;I don't like this mess you are leaving. Can you please clean this up when you have time? You should know better.Instead, say:&nbsp;It's OK not to know some things. Here, I will help you out. You're a bad kid.Instead, say:&nbsp;Can you tell me why you behaved/acted in such a way? I feel it wasn't right, is there anything you want to talk about? Or Else.&nbsp;Example: Eat dinner, or else you won't get your dessert.Instead, say:&nbsp;How about you take a healthy dinner quickly so that we can all enjoy dessert together?&nbsp; Stop being shy.Instead, say:&nbsp;You can come to say hi to your aunt when you are ready. You should set a good example for your brother.Instead, say:&nbsp;Your brother looks up to you; you're such a good role model. Wait until your father/mother gets home.Instead, say:&nbsp;You're grounded because you said a bad word. I will never forgive you.Instead, say:&nbsp;What you did was not acceptable, but we can look past it and move on if you think the next time. I'm ashamed of you.Instead, say:&nbsp;Although I feel bad about what you did, I love you for who you are. Don't worry; everything will be OK.Instead, say:&nbsp;Mom and Dad are always nearby, and we're going to set up a plan in case of emergency. Here, I'll do it.Instead, say:&nbsp;Let's do it together!" Don't cryInstead, say:&nbsp;I know you're sad, and it's OK to cry. It's OK to let out your emotions. Let me hug you. If you don't clean your room, you're going to be in big trouble.Instead, say:&nbsp;When your room is clean, then you may go out to play. Family finances aren't your business.Instead, say:&nbsp;Finances are how we make and manage money, and when you like, we will teach you what we know. I'm disappointed in you.Instead, say:&nbsp;I'm surprised and was not expecting this to occur. Come here, NOW.Instead, say:&nbsp;It's almost time to go. Do you want one minute or two? Because I said so.Instead, say:&nbsp;Explaining why you feel a certain way about something. We can't afford that.Instead, say:&nbsp;We're not going to buy that because we're saving our money for more important things. Don't talk to strangers.Instead, say:&nbsp;What would you do if a man you don't know offers you candy and a ride home? OR If anyone makes you feel sad, scared, or confused, you need to tell me right away. You should listen to adults.Instead, say:&nbsp;You need to listen to your parents. Don't be greedy!Instead, say:&nbsp;Would you please be kind and share your toys with your friend? Who taught you this? (about mischief)Instead, say:&nbsp;Why did you do that? Look at this lovely girl.Instead, say:&nbsp;I love you. You can do this too. I do everything for you.Instead, say:&nbsp;We do things for you because we love you, so please do for me. Do I have to tell you this 100 times?Instead, say:&nbsp;I've told you this before, but could you please. That's only for boys/girls.Instead:&nbsp;Say nothing at all. Try your best at raising gender-neutral children. You live under my roof, so you follow my rules.Instead, say:&nbsp;You know the household rules. Please stick to them. That's how I was raised.Instead, say:&nbsp;I don't think it's a good idea to do [ ]. Even my parents used to tell me that [ ]. You're just like your mother/father!Instead say:&nbsp;I’m not happy with [ ] because [ ]. I told you so.Instead, say:&nbsp;I'm sorry to hear about [ ] ... let this be a lesson. It's just a little white lie.Instead, explain to them that it's OK to use white lies to be polite and not hurt someone's feelings. Explain to them the fine line between lies and little white lies. Man up. / Be a man.Never disregard your son's feelings. Don't teach them that showing emotions is weak. To show emotions is only human. Why can't you be more like your sister?Instead, say:&nbsp;I don't quite like this behaviour of yours. Do you think we can work on it? If you loved me, you wouldn't do (this/that).Don't teach them that love needs to be proven all the time. Love comes without ifs and buts. I wish you'd never been born. / I hate you.No matter how angry you are, this is the worst thing to say. You would be scarring your child. Why can't you do anything right?Instead, say: What's the barrier? Is there anything I can help you with? I don't believe you.Instead, say: This comes as a shock for me. But I am sure you can tell me the whole thing. There's nothing to be afraid of.Instead, say:&nbsp;Everyone has their fair share of fears. We appreciate that you shared your feelings with us. We promise we will work on this together. You're lazy/stupid/selfish.Never label your child. Never. Your friends don't do that.Comparison will never bring any positive change. Accept your child for who they are and appreciate them. You should have done better.Praise them for their achievement. Do not over expect. You don't know what you're talking about. / You're too young to know what you want.Often children know what they want or how they feel. Saying this will show your distrust in their feelings. You'll never be able to do that.Instead, encourage and push your child to do better, of course, without any comparison. You're so fat/skinny, or You're going to get fat/skinny.Never attribute a child's identity to their looks. You make me so mad.Calm your anger down, and then talk to your child(ren).&nbsp;Instead, say:&nbsp;We will talk about this after a while when I am in the right state of my mind. Impact of such phrases on children:<ol><li>Antisocial behaviour</li><li>Poor resilience</li><li>Depression</li><li>Aggression</li><li>Lack of empathy</li><li>Difficulty in relationships</li><li>Self-doubt</li><li>Lack of self-confidence</li><li>Anxiety</li></ol>

A few things said in haste messes up a child's brain and have a considerable impact psychologically, like low self-confidence, self-doubt, anxiety and so on

Speaking Gently: Things you should never say to your child

A few things said in haste messes up a child’s brain and have a huge impact psychologically.

Things You Should Never Say to Your Child

It's time to get creative and know that your children will remember the fun, no matter what you end up doing.&nbsp; <ul><li>Balloon Balloon:</li></ul>Kids love balloons so wake them to lots of balloons. Stand over the bed and shower them with a laundry basket full of balloons and pieces of curled ribbon. Or scatter balloons in their room after they've fallen asleep the night before so they wake up to a sea of colour.<img src="https://bee-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com/image/birthday-balloons-in-room-2.jpg_image_1637134022133.jpg" width="309" style="cursor: nesw-resize;"> <ul><li>Make a Paper Crown:</li></ul>Decorative paper, scissors, and a small piece of tape are all you need to craft a cute crown for your birthday king or queen. Sticking with the royal theme, let your child choose a title or name they'd like to be called for the day.<img src="https://bee-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com/image/papercrown-main.jpg_image_1637134039436.jpg" width="310" style=""> <ul><li>Dress in their Favourite Colour:</li></ul>Favourite colours are a big deal to kids. The whole family dressing in their favourite colour is a beautiful sight to smile for them.<img src="https://bee-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com/image/photo-1511348547654-09ef00c65feb.jfif_image_1637142205348.jfif" width="312" style=""> <ul><li>Let them Decorate the Cake:</li></ul>Make a cake or buy one and allow your child to do the decoration. They can include their older siblings and do the teamwork. Provide them with chocolate chips, icing sugar, colourful gems, whipped cream. They would enjoy it so much.<img src="https://bee-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com/image/toddler-decorating-cake.jpg_image_1637134398150.jpg" width="313" style=""> <ul><li>Treasure Hunt:</li></ul>Play treasure hunt with them. You can hide their gifts in different places and leave clues for them to search for it. It's always fun to figure out riddles and clues.<img src="https://bee-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com/image/1155287281-1024x700.jpg_image_1637134817639.jpg" width="312" style=""> <ul><li>Watch their Favourite Movie:</li></ul>Kids love to watch their favourite movie again and again. Fix some time and all the family and friends&nbsp;can have a small get-together followed by a movie night. You all can book a mini theatre and have more fun.<img src="https://bee-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com/image/homes_outdoor_theaters_02474.jpg-df9a7-1226x0-c-default.jpg_image_1637135064640.jpg" width="313"><ul><li>Size Them Up:</li></ul>Each year, mark their height on the wall, take their hand-prints or take a photo in the same spot so you can see how much they grow and change each year.<img src="https://bee-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com/image/74e1c2f084a4a242417979fab7d0f59a.jpg_image_1637138211985.jpg" width="105" style=""><img src="https://bee-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com/image/img_1974.jpg_image_1637138084741.jpg" width="212" style=""> <ul><li>Gift Hamper:</li></ul>Give a birthday gift hamper with all the little things the child has ever asked for once in a while, like some small toy, pencil, stopwatch, globe or some book of their favourite character. Sometimes picking up little things they told you once makes them happier and they feel heard and very special.<img src="https://bee-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com/image/adobestock_85273473.jpeg_image_1637141848847.jpeg" width="309" style=""><ul><li>Decorate with Pictures:</li></ul>Fill a wall or a sheet of poster board with some of your favourite photos of the birthday kid from birth to present day, or just from the past year.<img src="https://bee-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com/image/birthday-party-decoration-500x500.jpeg_image_1637138745386.jpeg" width="307" style=""><ul><li>Write and Give Letters:</li></ul>Write an annual birthday letter to your child highlighting special moments and milestones from the year. You can also write letters to your child throughout the year and gift them together on his birthday. The letters may have funny interesting incidents and events. There are so many fun things you can do together with your child to make their birthday special. And enjoy to the fullest.<img src="https://bee-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com/image/1200-173940516-child-giving-card.jpg_image_1637139010443.jpg" width="306"> Shower them with lots and lots of Love.

It's time to get creative and know that your children will remember the fun, no matter what you end up doing. Start with creative decorations, balloons, gifts, cake designs, and party games.

Creative Birthday Celebration Ideas for Children

Your child's birthday is special not just for your child but for you as well. Try keeping it minimal but yet full of memories.﻿

“There is no gift a parent can give his child that is better than good manners.”“Respect your children and talk to them with good manners and a likeable method.”"Whoever wishes that his children are safe from disinheritance, he should help them perform good deeds.”“The best gift from parents to their children is education and upbringing.”&nbsp;“Play with them for the first seven years of their life; then teach them for the next seven years; then advise them for the next seven years.”&nbsp;“May Allāh have mercy on the person that helps his child in doing good.”&nbsp;&nbsp;“Love children and be kind to them."&nbsp;“Treat your children fairly, treat your children fairly.”&nbsp;&nbsp;"The best thing a father provides to his child is good manners and ethical training.”&nbsp;&nbsp;“May Allah bless the parents who trained their children to behave justly with them."&nbsp;“Kiss your children profusely, because every time you kiss the child, Allah will advance your position in Heaven by one stage."&nbsp;“Maintain justice among your children in gifts, just like you would like them to be just with you in goodness and affection.”&nbsp;“Like your children and treat them with affection and kindness. When you make a promise to them, you must keep it, because children consider you their sustainer.”&nbsp;“Respect your children and give them a good upbringing that Allah blesses you."&nbsp;“Anybody who called a child, saying that he would give him a certain thing, and did not give it, speaks a lie.”&nbsp;&nbsp;“Never beat the children if they cry. Fulfil their needs. Because, for the first four months of the life of a child’, its cries are a witness to the Existence and Unity of Allah, Almighty."

Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) Hadiths On Parent-Child Relationship. The most basic and necessary manners that teach us how to raise a child. 

Prophet Muhammad Hadiths On Parent-Child Relationship Part 1

Parent-child Relationship is one of the things that is the most sacred thing in the world. Hadiths by Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) related to this beautiful relationship will tell us its importance.

Prophet Muhammad Hadiths On Parent Child Relationship Part 1

Creativity is at the epicentre of human exploration and discovery. Creativity is a force that nurtures human development, innovation and helps us appreciate nature around us. Everyone is creative. Being creative helps children to look within themselves, take a pause and helps them to calm down. Below are a few ways to nurture your child’s creative ideas and imaginative spirit:<ol><li>Encourage possibility thinking: Pose the “What if?” question in front of your child in as many ways as possible; these help children naturally think of creative possibilities for everything they encounter.</li><li>Nurture your child’s interests: Allow your children to choose their after-school activities. Encourage them to more deeply explore those activities in essays and projects at school.</li><li>Expand the language of emotion: Being able to understand and describe emotions is critical to the creative process. Help them with the emotional vocabulary so that they can express their feelings better.</li><li>Play, play, play: Through imaginative play, children explore their ideas and create meaning about the world around them. It is better to provide all kinds of art supplies - crayons, play dough, construction paper, glitter to your child so that (s)he can create freely.</li><li>Explore the beauty of nature: The natural world inspires children to think, question, make suppositions, instil problem-solving skills, and develop creative minds. Children can draw in the sand, make designs with twigs, build forts with branches, or simply lie on the ground and look up at the sky.</li><li>Advocate for the daydreamer: When kids daydream, they explore associations, make connections, and search for possibilities. Daydreaming and a bit of solitude for reflection are among the attributes of highly creative people.</li><li>Invent scenarios: Invent scenarios with your child. This way (s)he will try on lots of different roles and organise his/her thoughts while developing social and verbal skills. Encourage your child to play house, doctor, zoo, farm, space station, school, or store.</li><li>Verbal activities: From rhymes to riddles (check our rhymes and riddles content to get you started), silly sounds to phonics, games such as "I Spy" (and many more activities on our app), verbal interactive activities can inspire and nurture creative minds.</li><li>Encourage art activities: Through painting, sculpture, collage, clay, drawing or any other medium, art is a way for children to work through emotions, make decisions, and express their ideas.</li><li>Ask open-ended and thought-provoking questions: Asking questions that provoke imaginative and creative thinking is an effective way to invite your child to express his/her ideas and share his/her visions. "What do you think would happen if….?" "What's the difference between a dog and a cat?" "What are some other ways to do this?" are a few questions to get you started.</li><li>Limit screen time: Nurturing imagination and parenting in the digital age can be tough. Focusing on a screen is a passive way of learning for children. Engaging children in a kinesthetic manner using their entire bodies and their five senses helps in deep learning and also opens up their minds.</li><li>Remember to allow for downtime: Unstructured, unscheduled time allows children opportunities to imagine and create.</li><li>Limit electronic toys: Electronic toys don’t engage a child’s imagination and so children are simply better off playing with a basic wooden toy.</li><li>Ask questions about their creations: Kids have their own thought processes, and we can’t always see what they are thinking just by looking at something they’ve made. Ask them what they have created to help them articulate their process and the ideas behind what they thought of creating and what they ended up creating.</li><li>Respect: Respecting that each child has the right to be himself/herself and believing in his/her uniqueness builds your child’s confidence. Respect his/her imagination and fantasies.</li><li>Base on Values Not Rules: Too many rules hinder creativity. If you let your children decide their behaviour according to those values, creativity will flourish.</li></ol> Here are some examples of comments that nurture the creative environment:<ul><li>“It’s fun to try it different ways”</li><li>“Tell me about it”</li><li>“Let’s try it anyway”</li><li>“Have you thought of any alternatives?”</li><li>“I see you are having a lot of fun”</li></ul>

Creativity is at the epicentre of human exploration and discovery. Being creative helps children to look within themselves, take a pause and helps them to calm down.

Nurturing your child's Creativity

Being creative helps a child take a pause from the constant running about of life and makes them feel relaxed.

Nurturing your childs Creativity

Are there any psychological effects on children watching cartoons on TV or mobile?Cartoons are the most popular entertainment for children. Earlier children would spend time outside playing with their friends, compared to now where they choose to spend time in front of the TV, watching their favourite Cartoons for hours. Ever since the emergence of the cartoon industry, it has been noted that watching cartoons can have both negative as well as positive impacts on a child's psychological growth along with their physical growth. Positive Impacts:<ol><li>Early Education: Preschoolers can get help to learn alphabets, shapes, numbers, and colours while watching TV. Undoubtedly, television can be an excellent educator and entertainer. The moving, talking pictures and colourful visuals make learning interesting and fun for kids.</li><li>Cognitive development:&nbsp;Watching TV and cartoon can help in the development of cognitive skills in kids. Skills such as logic and reasoning ability, visual and auditory processing, and sustained and selective attention of a child are developed and enhanced in kids.</li><li>Linguistic skills:&nbsp;Watching cartoons in different languages can assist children in not just learning different languages but can also help them improve their pronunciation and their manner of talking.</li><li>Creativity:&nbsp;watching cartoons enhances creative thinking in children. They may start thinking of new creative ideas like stories, characters, situations, etc on basis of cartoons they watch.</li><li>Morals and Culture:&nbsp;Mythological cartoons can introduce children to their religion and culture. Many cartoons end with good lessons of morals like kindness, caring and compassion.</li></ol> Negative Impacts:<ol><li>Violent Behavior:&nbsp;Kids who watch violent acts are more likely to show aggressive behaviour and also may fear that the world is scary and that something bad will happen to them. Also Because Cartoon characters display no more than little harm during violent scenes, children may believe that no one gets hurt or feels pain since cartoons escape unscathed after experiencing violence or an accident.</li><li>Less-empathetic behaviour:&nbsp;Few cartoons characters display a lack of empathy and rude/ disobedient behaviour towards others. Kids might mimic this behaviour and challenge their elders when they are disciplined for bad behaviour.</li><li>Rough Language:&nbsp;Few cartoon characters make use of rough language, as a result of which children begin to use foul/ rough language in their day to day life.</li><li>Anti-social behaviour:&nbsp;Several cartoons encourage antisocial behaviour and give wrong messages to kids. Cartoon characters often display risky behaviour, such as smoking and drinking, and may also reinforce gender-role and racial stereotypes. These can affect a kid's behaviour and make them believe it is normal to be aggressive, spoiled, or violent. cartoons may be the reason for many children to even become bullies in schools.</li><li>Health Issues:&nbsp;Children who consistently spend more than 4 hours a day watching TV are more likely to be overweight. They watch cartoons even when they eat because many parents believe it gets easier to feed babies watching television. Health issues arising due to sedentary lifestyle and inactivity for hours include obesity, vision problems, and nutritional deficiencies due to bad food habits.</li><li>Role models:&nbsp;From a very young age children start to mimic their role models. A role model is someone who either inspires and motivates the kids or discourages and admonish them, thereby shaping their character and personality as adults. Children often idolize their favourite cartoon character which could be Often a misleading role model that encourages the wrong habits or displays insensitive behaviour towards others. This kind of impact of cartoons on children’s psychology can often lead to devastating outcomes and result in kids being withdrawn, uncommunicative, antisocial, or unruly.</li></ol> Tips for parents: <ul><li>To make cartoons a healthy entertainment and a good and effective source of learning for kids, parents should pay more attention to providing selected cartoons to their kids that could positively influence them.</li><li>Parents must control the time children spend watching TV. They can choose appropriate cartoons for their kids. It would be better if parents also regularly watch and discuss the characters of cartoons with children. This way they will not only keep their kids away from violence but also direct them to different activities.</li><li>Lastly, it is recommended for parents to avoid placing their kids in front of screens while they’re eating.</li><li>Let's protect kids from the negative impact of Television media! Because healthy kids mean a healthy future!</li></ul>

Watching cartoons programs had a significant effect on the behaviour of children. Cartoons can have both positive and negative effects on cognitive and behavioural development.

Influence of watching cartoons on children

Watching cartoons can both negatively and positively influence children. Along with being the best educator, Watching TV can surely encourage children to become aggressive and violent. Hence, the cartoon industry is believed to influence a child's brain as well as physical development.

Every child needs full attention of a parent. While you are busy with the younger one, your elder child will experience a range of emotions, from excitement to jealousy or may be responsible and caring. In order to seek your attention, the elder child may show more tantrums or misbehave or refuse to eat. These emotions are short-lived but if not addressed well can have lasting impact on a child’s mind. Here are a few ways to make sure that your elder child does not feel neglected:<ul><li>Let them not feel left out: Take an extra care to ensure that the elder child never feels neglected (unintentionally though). Ask their suggestions for picking up clothes for newborn, choosing the toys for little one and more. Make sure you spend equal time with both the kids</li><li>Avoid giving excuses: Never make the younger one an excuse for not attending the elder child – “we can’t go to the park/playground as the baby is sleeping” “Keep quiet the baby will wake up” “After I attend the baby, I will listen to you” Instead tell him/her , “ We will play together when the baby wakes up, We will go to the park together May be giving a hope and the feeling of togetherness will help the child.</li><li>Pay more attention: Express extra care and love for elder one, increase your daily hugs and play some games or increase story time for the elder one.</li><li>Avoid comparing: This comes unintentionally but it can have a strategic impact on a child’s mind. Little things like who crawled first, child’s weight or who walked first can be taken as criticism by the elder one.</li></ul> Ensure both the children get equal attention and feel loved.

Every child needs full attention of a parent. So, pause and reflect on your parenting to make sure none of your children feel left out.

Managing sibling insecurity

Dr Ajab Primuswala

It is a very common human stratum that we always have rivalry with our siblings. This happens in every family. But with certain families, it becomes very strong and gets difficult to handle. Sibling rivalry can be as simple as- siblings who are not ready to share things or can be extreme like - physical or verbal abuse and cooking up stories so that the other one gets the scolding or punishment. Common factors of sibling rivalry are: <ul><li>Age difference: It is very common to have sibling rivalry when the age difference is very less. So it's both ways , they like each other’s company, want to play together and still can’t play as they have the same levels of maturity and same kind of issues. If one of the siblings is quite older than the other, there’s less communication, their schedules are different and so in short when interaction is less, there are less issues and their maturity and understanding is also different. The elder one can handle things maturely. When there is a non-violent sibling rivalry between your kids, you can avoid them by saying, “This issue is between the two of you so please take care of it on your own, I am sure you both will resolve it beautifully.” You can escape this scene by making them responsible and showing your trust in their skills to resolve issues among them.</li></ul> <ul><li>Gender of your children: Well, It is observed that children of same gender have more common issues to fight with each other. Though they can grow as close siblings in later stage but in the initial years, it can get difficult to resolve their sibling rivalry because there is direct competition and comparison between them. On the other hand, a brother and a sister of the same age generally get along well. It is important to note that when it comes to sibling rivalry, there is no guarantee as to whether the siblings will fight or not. It depends on individual bonding between siblings.</li></ul> <ul><li>As a parent, if you are paying more attention towards one and neglecting the other or if one or both of the children has this feeling then this can brew into a sibling rivalry. You have to verbalise and assure them that you love and care equally for both of them in the same manner but depending on their individual needs your priorities might change. You should be aware and should keep in mind to take care of all your children’s needs and requirements one by one.</li></ul> Talking about the solutions: <ul><li>The first thing you can do while your kids are fighting over something is walk away, when it is not so serious or dangerous. Tell them: “It’s your matter, you handle”. In case if it gets severe and is happening frequently, you can ask them to maintain a diary about the issues. Decide the day to read the diary and solve it out.</li></ul> <ul><li>If you ask them to write it down, they are going to avoid such stories or situations where they will require you to come and solve it.</li></ul> <ul><li>This is a strong perspective where you are not avoiding them, instead giving them importance and proving a point that you have many other things that need to be taken care of.</li></ul> <ul><li>Sibling rivalry can be very dangerous if it continues till the later stages of life. Siblings can be either the most supportive or the most opposing depending on the kind of bonding they have had over the years. We, as parents, at times give rise to sibling rivalry by comparing our children with each other. So the key to not develop sibling rivalry is to stop comparing. Tell them whatever you want to, without giving each other’s examples. This can be more productive and progressive way of dealing with sibling rivalry.</li></ul>

Sibling rivalry is an age-old problem and get can be addressed easily if done at the right time.

Sibling rivalry

Siblings often need validation for love from parents. Never avoid such a question. | Bee Parenting | Parenting Concerns.

what to do when child compares parents love for other child

Siblings often need validation for love from parents. Never avoid such a question. Tell them, “I love you and your brother/sister equally. You both are special for ME.” Avoid saying, “Of course I love you, and I don’t have to tell you the same thing again and again”.

father

mother

how to make my child understand that i love all children

how to make my child understand that i love all children

Siblings often need validation for love from parents. Never avoid such a question. Tell them, “I love you and your brother/sister equally. You both are special for ME.” Avoid saying, “Of course I love you, and I don’t have to tell you the same thing again and again”.

Managing sibling insecurity

Sibling rivalry

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