Are we exhibiting what we want our kids to be? Call it a harsh reality but children rarely learn from what we preach, they learn from our actions. Take this for an example, an anonymous user on the internet confessed that her child would hit her younger sibling while playing. Her explanation in defence was, “We are playing ‘mommy”. We all aspire to become perfect parents for our kids because we want to inculcate values in them that would make them better human beings. But the larger and the more significant question is do we exhibit that kind of discipline in our behaviour? We expect our children to use modern-day gadgets judiciously but do we supervise our use of these products? We want our kids to watch their words and actions when angry but do we manage our anger appropriately? We want our kids to show decorum and discipline with their daily routine but are we exhibiting ourselves as an example to do the same? Dr Haim Ginott, a renowned child psychologist, pointed out, “Children are like wet cement. Whatever falls on them makes an impression.” If we give the child an environment of hostility he is more likely to learn to fight. An environment of ridicule and shame can lead to the child resulting being shy and guilty. But similarly, if the child had always lived with tolerance, he learns to become more patient. If he has always received praise, he learns the virtue of appreciation. What is important during the child’s growing years is that we model the kind of behaviour we expect our children to be. It is impossible to not be stressed or angry under circumstances. But when the parents manage their stress and anger appropriately, the message is loud and clear to the kids that it is normal to feel negative at times but it is only the positive attitude towards solving these problems that reap good results. Parents should ‘speak’ and ‘do’ what they expect out of their children. Saying statements like. “I love all kinds of food”, “I love playing outdoors”, “Let’s clean up the mess together”, “Let’s help little brother/sister with eating the food”. These kinds of statements bring about assurance in the kids and before indulging in the wrong they are forced to do what think what they have been taught. The brains of children are like sponges. They absorb everything without discriminating information into right or wrong. Let's set ourselves as better examples for our children. Let's exhibit what we want our children to be.

Are we exhibiting what we want our kids to be? Call it a harsh reality but children rarely learn from what we preach, they learn from our actions.

Children See Children Learn - The pillar of parenting

Being a positive role model for your child can help instil the right attitude and habits from an early age for your child to nurture a healthy lifestyle.

Children See Children Learn ~The pillar of parenting

It's trickier to keep babies safe in monsoons, but taking care of a few important things can make it alright: <ul><li>Make sure that your baby’s clothes are dry and warm. Clothes often remain cold and damp after a wash in the monsoon. Clothes that remain damp can result in your baby catching a fever or cold. It is also best to opt for breathable cotton fabrics and avoid synthetics that may cause rashes.</li><li>Monsoons are always accompanied by several insects and germs like flies, fungus mosquitoes, etc. Hence the chances of babies falling ill also increase during monsoons. To keep your baby free of these, ensure that you and everyone else handling your baby should stay clean. Keep an eye out for nappy rash - change diapers regularly and apply a good diaper rash cream.</li><li>Disinfect your home and surroundings too regularly to keep germs away. Unclean surroundings can harbour many disease-causing insects and pests, as well as bacteria.</li><li>Monsoon brings with it malaria and dengue causing mosquitoes. To prevent your baby from catching these diseases, it is best to use bed nets or mesh windows. You can also use mosquito repellent creams for your baby after consulting with a doctor. There are also liquid, card and coil repellents available that are safe and effective against mosquitoes.</li><li>It is best not to take your baby out during monsoons, especially when it is raining. The humidity and the change in temperatures might lead to your baby catching the flu. If you have to take your baby out, make sure that your baby is covered correctly and completely dry throughout your outing. If you go out, avoid dirty areas with puddles and mud. Ensure that you are not taking your baby to crowded places as it’s easier to get infected with people around. When you take your child outdoors, keep wet wipes handy to ensure your baby stays clean all the time.</li><li>Some infants are allergic to specific pollen and allergens. Make sure your baby is kept away from these during the rains. If you notice any rash, redness or other symptoms, consult your doctor immediately and get it checked.</li><li>Check your house for dampness, leakage before the monsoon arrives. Get them fixed if there is a problem. Check for fungus or moulds around the house. Secure the loose electric wiring, if any. Clean the drains and keep bathrooms hygienic</li><li>Always feed freshly prepared food to your baby in monsoon as food tends to spoil quickly in monsoon.</li><li>Since you can’t always find clean water when you’re outside, make sure you carry a small bottle of sanitiser and use it to clean your hands whenever handling the baby.</li><li>Many doctors recommend getting a flu booster shot when the monsoons are around. Make sure your baby gets all his/her shots before the monsoon.</li><li>Since a baby is primary indoors in monsoon (s), he doesn’t need a daily bath. Two to three times a week, and especially around humid times, can give your baby relief from the heat as well. If your child has been outside, definitely give him a nice warm water bath.</li></ul>

Taking the right precautionary steps before the arrival of any season will keep your baby safe and healthy.

Monsoon Precautions for Babies | Tips & Precautions

Taking the right precautionary steps before the arrival of any season will keep your baby safe and healthy.

Monsoon Tips and Precautions for Babies

<ul><li>Make sure to get your child fully checked before the winter starts.</li><li>Make sure that all heating appliances like geysers &amp; heaters are in working condition.</li><li>Adequate warm clothing is essential but makes sure to NOT over-dress your baby as it can be extremely uncomfortable for him/her. Several thin layers will keep them dry and warm. Always remember to make them warm boots, gloves or mittens, and a hat. The rule of thumb for older babies and young children is to dress them in one more layer of clothing than an adult would wear in the same conditions.</li><li>Give warm water baths to your child. Make sure that there is a balance between the bathroom and the bedroom temperature so that your child does not get uncomfortable after the bath.</li><li>There should be no gusts of cold winds when you are bathing your baby.</li><li>Give adequate necessary vitamins and nutrients essential for proper growth to your child.</li><li>When riding/travelling in a car, make them wear thin, snug layers rather than thick, bulky coats or snowsuits.</li><li>Use sleep clothing for babies like warm one-piece sleepers or wearable blankets instead of loose bedding like blankets, quilts, pillows, bumpers, and sheepskins as they are a cause of suffocating deaths.</li><li>If a blanket must be used to keep a sleeping infant warm, it should be thin and tucked under the crib mattress, reaching only as far as the baby's chest.</li><li>Prevent cold and flu by getting kids to:</li></ul>-Use soap and water: Washing their hands frequently will reduce the spread of germs.-Cover their mouth: Sneezing or coughing into the bend of their elbows also helps prevent the spreading of germs.-Get immunised: Keep vaccinations current, including the flu shot.<ul><li>Include soup in your baby’s diet. A healthy soup in cold weather will keep your baby warm.</li><li>Maintain your own hygiene: Make sure to wash and sanitise your hands before you attend to your baby every time. You need to stay healthy so that your child does not catch any infections because of you.</li><li>Use a Humidifier: When using a heating apparatus during winters it could rob the room of water vapour, making the air dry as well as your child’s skin. Hence, install a humidifier in the room so that the moisture levels are maintained.</li><li>Make use of a moisturiser for your baby as your little one's skin will be extremely sensitive and the harsh atmosphere of the winter can make it dry. Opt for skin creams or moisturisers that are made for the baby’s skin.</li><li>Protect your child from hypothermia. Hypothermia develops when a child's temperature falls below normal due to exposure to colder temperatures. As hypothermia sets in, the child may shiver and become lethargic and clumsy.&nbsp;Speech may become slurred.</li><li>If you suspect your child is hypothermic, call for an emergency at once. Until help arrives, take the child indoors, remove any wet clothing, and wrap him/her in blankets or warm clothes.</li><li>Another thing to keep your baby safe from is frostbite. Frostbite happens when the skin and outer tissues become frozen.&nbsp;This condition tends to happen on extremities like the fingers, toes, ears and nose.&nbsp;They may become pale, grey and blistered. At the same time, the child may complain that his/her skin burns or has become numb.</li><li>If you suspect frostbite, bring the child indoors and place the frostbite parts of his/her body in warm (not hot) water. Warm washcloths may be applied to frostbitten noses, ears and lips. Do not rub the frozen areas. After a few minutes, dry and cover the child with clothing or blankets. Give him/her something warm to drink. If the numbness continues for more than a few minutes, call your doctor.</li></ul>

Winter Precautions for Babies

Precautions for Babies During the Winter Season

A few things said in haste messes up a child's brain and have a considerable impact psychologically, like low self-confidence, self-doubt, anxiety, depression, and so much more. Throughout your parenting journey, make sure you are not saying things or acting out in a way that could damage your child(ren) mentally. Sometimes parents are not aware that their actions affect their child(ren) negatively, and sometimes parents overlook it and justify their bad behaviour due to their stress. Here are a few practices which you should avoid telling your child(ren): Pick these up right now. I don't want you leaving a mess like that again.Instead, say:&nbsp;I don't like this mess you are leaving. Can you please clean this up when you have time? You should know better.Instead, say:&nbsp;It's OK not to know some things. Here, I will help you out. You're a bad kid.Instead, say:&nbsp;Can you tell me why you behaved/acted in such a way? I feel it wasn't right, is there anything you want to talk about? Or Else.&nbsp;Example: Eat dinner, or else you won't get your dessert.Instead, say:&nbsp;How about you take a healthy dinner quickly so that we can all enjoy dessert together?&nbsp; Stop being shy.Instead, say:&nbsp;You can come to say hi to your aunt when you are ready. You should set a good example for your brother.Instead, say:&nbsp;Your brother looks up to you; you're such a good role model. Wait until your father/mother gets home.Instead, say:&nbsp;You're grounded because you said a bad word. I will never forgive you.Instead, say:&nbsp;What you did was not acceptable, but we can look past it and move on if you think the next time. I'm ashamed of you.Instead, say:&nbsp;Although I feel bad about what you did, I love you for who you are. Don't worry; everything will be OK.Instead, say:&nbsp;Mom and Dad are always nearby, and we're going to set up a plan in case of emergency. Here, I'll do it.Instead, say:&nbsp;Let's do it together!" Don't cryInstead, say:&nbsp;I know you're sad, and it's OK to cry. It's OK to let out your emotions. Let me hug you. If you don't clean your room, you're going to be in big trouble.Instead, say:&nbsp;When your room is clean, then you may go out to play. Family finances aren't your business.Instead, say:&nbsp;Finances are how we make and manage money, and when you like, we will teach you what we know. I'm disappointed in you.Instead, say:&nbsp;I'm surprised and was not expecting this to occur. Come here, NOW.Instead, say:&nbsp;It's almost time to go. Do you want one minute or two? Because I said so.Instead, say:&nbsp;Explaining why you feel a certain way about something. We can't afford that.Instead, say:&nbsp;We're not going to buy that because we're saving our money for more important things. Don't talk to strangers.Instead, say:&nbsp;What would you do if a man you don't know offers you candy and a ride home? OR If anyone makes you feel sad, scared, or confused, you need to tell me right away. You should listen to adults.Instead, say:&nbsp;You need to listen to your parents. Don't be greedy!Instead, say:&nbsp;Would you please be kind and share your toys with your friend? Who taught you this? (about mischief)Instead, say:&nbsp;Why did you do that? Look at this lovely girl.Instead, say:&nbsp;I love you. You can do this too. I do everything for you.Instead, say:&nbsp;We do things for you because we love you, so please do for me. Do I have to tell you this 100 times?Instead, say:&nbsp;I've told you this before, but could you please. That's only for boys/girls.Instead:&nbsp;Say nothing at all. Try your best at raising gender-neutral children. You live under my roof, so you follow my rules.Instead, say:&nbsp;You know the household rules. Please stick to them. That's how I was raised.Instead, say:&nbsp;I don't think it's a good idea to do [ ]. Even my parents used to tell me that [ ]. You're just like your mother/father!Instead say:&nbsp;I’m not happy with [ ] because [ ]. I told you so.Instead, say:&nbsp;I'm sorry to hear about [ ] ... let this be a lesson. It's just a little white lie.Instead, explain to them that it's OK to use white lies to be polite and not hurt someone's feelings. Explain to them the fine line between lies and little white lies. Man up. / Be a man.Never disregard your son's feelings. Don't teach them that showing emotions is weak. To show emotions is only human. Why can't you be more like your sister?Instead, say:&nbsp;I don't quite like this behaviour of yours. Do you think we can work on it? If you loved me, you wouldn't do (this/that).Don't teach them that love needs to be proven all the time. Love comes without ifs and buts. I wish you'd never been born. / I hate you.No matter how angry you are, this is the worst thing to say. You would be scarring your child. Why can't you do anything right?Instead, say: What's the barrier? Is there anything I can help you with? I don't believe you.Instead, say: This comes as a shock for me. But I am sure you can tell me the whole thing. There's nothing to be afraid of.Instead, say:&nbsp;Everyone has their fair share of fears. We appreciate that you shared your feelings with us. We promise we will work on this together. You're lazy/stupid/selfish.Never label your child. Never. Your friends don't do that.Comparison will never bring any positive change. Accept your child for who they are and appreciate them. You should have done better.Praise them for their achievement. Do not over expect. You don't know what you're talking about. / You're too young to know what you want.Often children know what they want or how they feel. Saying this will show your distrust in their feelings. You'll never be able to do that.Instead, encourage and push your child to do better, of course, without any comparison. You're so fat/skinny, or You're going to get fat/skinny.Never attribute a child's identity to their looks. You make me so mad.Calm your anger down, and then talk to your child(ren).&nbsp;Instead, say:&nbsp;We will talk about this after a while when I am in the right state of my mind. Impact of such phrases on children:<ol><li>Antisocial behaviour</li><li>Poor resilience</li><li>Depression</li><li>Aggression</li><li>Lack of empathy</li><li>Difficulty in relationships</li><li>Self-doubt</li><li>Lack of self-confidence</li><li>Anxiety</li></ol>

A few things said in haste messes up a child's brain and have a considerable impact psychologically, like low self-confidence, self-doubt, anxiety and so on

Speaking Gently: Things you should never say to your child

A few things said in haste messes up a child’s brain and have a huge impact psychologically.

Things You Should Never Say to Your Child

Parenting is a process, not a learned behaviour. Raising a child in a nuclear family requires several measures, the most important of all being the sharing of responsibilities between both the parents equally.<ul><li>Children in a nuclear family are more confident as they are more independent compared to children raised in joint families.</li><li>A joint family offers a lot of family time, so parents in a nuclear family should properly schedule their day to assure sufficient and efficient time for kids in the family.</li><li>Being in a nuclear family brings many responsibilities on parents’ shoulders. This might drain you out, more if you are a working parent. This draining out will make you frustrated sometimes but it is very important to stay positive in front of your parents. The serious discussions can be limited to bedrooms between you and your spouse.</li><li>If you live in a nuclear family, it is important to maintain good ties with the extended family. This is because they will be at your help to look after your child when you cannot be present for your child.</li><li>Instead of relying on gadgets, invest in educational play boxes for your child which will aid your child’s intellectual development.</li><li>Involve your kids in household chores. Nothing can be a better way to spend quality time with your kids. This also develops emotional, motor, social skills in your child.</li><li>Make sure to plan outings – even to the nearest park – once in a while. This will help you ease a bit and also give your child the time to bond with you.</li></ul> In the end, it is up to parents to weigh the pros and cons of raising a child in joint and nuclear families and then decide what’s best for their child(ren).

A nuclear family or elementary family or conjugal family is essentially a family which has parents (mother and father) and children.

Parenting in a nuclear or conjugal family

A nuclear family or elementary family or conjugal family is essentially a family which has parents (mother and father) and children.

Parenting in a nuclear family

Palak Vyas

To deal with your crankiness, two things can be done here:<ol><li>Ensure your baby has sound sleep during the night.</li><li>Ensure that you are properly rested during the day. (When the baby is young and you have to feed the baby or change the diapers, it is not possible for you to get rest during the day.)</li></ol> The simple rule is if the baby has a sound sleep you can sleep better and if you sleep better at night, you wake up better- energetic and bright. Steps you can take so that the baby/child sleeps better at night:<ul><li>Make a sleeping ritual. If the baby is too young (infant), you can simply sing a lullaby, make it a point to sing the same song and use it like your sleep song or you can play the same sleep music each night.</li><li>For a baby who is above a year, you can make a sleeping sequence like brushing teeth, bath time, changing nightwear, reading books, lights out, sleep.</li><li>For a child who is above 3 years, you can have a bedtime conversation each night before reading a book. Ask your child about their day at school, tell them your routine and make it an interesting conversation. Tell them stories or read a book, change into pyjamas, brush teeth and go to bed.</li><li>Turn off all screens 1 or 2 hours before bed.</li><li>Train your baby and associate bed and bedroom to deep sleep and relaxation time.</li><li>Even after this, if you find your child is unable to sleep properly at night for days and weeks together, it is better to see a paediatrician or a sleep specialist.</li></ul> Steps to take a rest in between sleepless nights and cranky days<ul><li>Make time for yourself during the day. When the baby sleeps during the day, you go and sleep instead of running for pending chores.</li><li>Create a nice space in your house, cosy and comfy and perfect for you to relax.</li><li>Ask help from friends, family or your spouse to watch over the baby till you take a nap.</li><li>Take turns with your partner at night and even during the day so both of you feel rested.</li><li>But with little kids around it is always difficult to sleep at night so just keep patience, once they grow up you will be alright. Try and cope with it.</li></ul>

Mothers tend to get cranky during the day because it is difficult for them to get sound sleep with the little one around.

Mother's cranky behaviour due to less sleep

Fatherhood is a biological and an emotional sea of changes. Starting a few months before childbirth, testosterone levels lower as prolactin, vasopressin and other hormones increase rewiring a man’s brain to prepare him for fatherhood. Entire area of man’s brain grows and develops in response to hormonal changes in the first year of a child's life, which allows him to care for a newborn. There is an increased sensitivity to crying, a deeper capacity to bond emotionally and a greater responsiveness to another’s needs. Men and women can experience depression very differently. Symptoms which might indicate poor mental health of a father:<ol><li>Increased anger and conflict with others</li><li>Increased use of alcohol</li><li>Frustration or irritability</li><li>Violent behaviour</li><li>Significant weight gain or loss</li><li>Isolation from family and friends</li><li>Being easily stressed</li><li>Increase in complaints about physical problems, like headaches, digestion problems, fatigue</li><li>Problems with concentration or motivation</li><li>Loss of interest in work, hobbies and/or sex</li><li>Working constantly</li><li>Self doubt</li></ol> Some of the factors that can contribute to depression in new or soon-to-be fathers include:<ol><li>Personal history of depression</li><li>Family history of depression</li><li>Worries about being a parent</li><li>Feeling overwhelmed with expectations in your role at work and your role as a father</li><li>Financial problems</li><li>Lack of social and/or emotional support</li><li>Stress in relationship with family or spouse</li><li>Missing attention and/or sex from partner</li><li>Lack of sleep after the baby is born</li><li>Feeling excluded from the bond between mother and baby</li></ol> Diagnosis:Your mental healthcare professional will ask you to fill up a depression-screening questionnaire to confirm whether you have depression or not. Following are a few ways which you can follow to take care of your stress and emotions:<ol><li>Work on building stronger bond between you and your partner. Understand her needs and desires and talk about your own too. Feel free to express in front of your partner or family or friends.</li><li>Develop a support team from your family. Ask for help. Say YES when they offer.</li><li>Take time for yourself. Have some “me-time” either watching TV, going for a movie or taking a short break from work and spending time doing things you like.</li><li>Talk to other families who have experienced the same.</li><li>Spend time with your baby to develop your own confidence.</li></ol> Treatment:<ul><li>Talk Therapy: PPD is a severe form of clinical depression. Your psychiatrist might suggest you to see a counsellor who will ask you questions about your life. It is important that you answer them honestly. These sessions will help you gain a different and healthier perspective about things. Therapy is different and personalised for everyone but these are a few topics which you might touch in your sessions: your feelings, your beliefs, your behaviour, your life pre and post birth. There are 2 types of talk therapy:</li></ul><ol><li>Cognitive Behavioural Therapy: You and your counselor work together to identify, then change, thoughts and behaviors that are harmful to your mental health.</li><li>Interpersonal therapy: Your therapist helps you better understand how you behave in your relationships and how to work through any problems.</li></ol> <ul><li>Medication: Antidepressants are drugs designed to treat depression, including postpartum depression. They work on different chemicals in your brain.</li><li>Self-care: Get more sleep and exercise, eat healthy foods, do fun activities and relax. Doing these things can help to boost your mood.</li></ul>

A parent's mental health is of the top most priority when it comes to parenting. A healthy mental space leads to a happy and healthy bond between a parent and a child.

Postpartum Depression in Fathers

It is not very uncommon for mothers to feel depressed after childbirth. This is called 'Postpartum Depression' (PPD).Childbirth is often followed by a jumble of powerful emotions, from excitement and fear to anxiety and difficulty in making decisions. Most new mums experience “baby blues” which include mood swings, crying spells, anxiety, and difficulty sleeping. But some moms experience a more severe form of depression known as postpartum depression (PPD).&nbsp;While baby blues are short-term, postpartum depression can be long-lasting and can severely affect a woman’s ability to care for herself or for her family. Some of the common symptoms a woman experience during PPD may vary, and they can range from mild to severe:<ul><li>Feeling sad, empty, and hopeless</li><li>Excessive crying</li><li>Difficulty bonding with your partner or baby</li><li>Withdrawing from social life</li><li>Loss of appetite or eating too much</li><li>Not being able to take care of yourself or the baby</li><li>Inability to sleep (insomnia) or oversleeping</li><li>Having trouble concentrating or make decisions</li><li>Frequent headaches</li><li>Losing interest in activities you used to enjoy</li><li>Intense irritability and anger</li><li>Thoughts of harming your baby</li><li>Suicidal thoughts</li><li>Doubting that you're not a good mother</li><li>Feelings of guilt and worthlessness</li><li>Restlessness</li><li>Severe anxiety and panic attacks</li></ul> Reasons of PPD in women:<ul><li>physical changes of pregnancy</li><li>excessive worry about the baby and the responsibilities of being a parent</li><li>a complicated labour and childbirth</li><li>lack of family support</li><li>financial difficulties</li><li>loneliness, not having close friends and family around</li><li>a history of mental health problems</li><li>hormonal changes, due to a sudden and severe drop in oestrogen and progesterone levels following birth</li><li>changes to the sleep cycle</li></ul> Diagnosis:Your mental healthcare provider will ask you to fill up a depression-screening questionnaire to confirm whether you have depression or not. Following are a few ways which you can follow to take care of your stress and emotions:<ol><li>Work on building stronger bond between you and your partner. Understand her needs and desires and talk about your own too. Feel free to express in front of your partner or family or friends.</li><li>Develop a support team from your family. Ask for help. Say YES when they offer.</li><li>Take time for yourself. Have some “me-time” either watching TV, going for a movie or taking a short break from work and spending time doing things you like.</li><li>Talk to other families who have experienced the same.</li><li>Spend time with your baby to develop your own confidence.</li></ol> Treatment:<ul><li>Talk Therapy: PPD is a severe form of clinical depression. Your psychiatrist might suggest you to see a counsellor who will ask you questions about your life. It is important that you answer them honestly. These sessions will help you gain a different and healthier perspective about things. Therapy is different and personalised for everyone but these are a few topics which you might touch in your sessions: your feelings, your beliefs, your behaviour, your life pre and post birth. There are 2 types of talk therapy:</li></ul><ol><li>Cognitive Behavioural Therapy: You and your counselor work together to identify, then change, thoughts and behaviors that are harmful to your mental health.</li><li>Interpersonal therapy: Your therapist helps you better understand how you behave in your relationships and how to work through any problems.</li></ol> <ul><li>Medicine: Antidepressants are drugs designed to treat depression, including postpartum depression. They work on different chemicals in your brain.</li><li>Self-care: Get more sleep and exercise, eat healthy foods, do fun activities and relax. Doing these things can help to boost your mood.</li></ul>

Postpartum Depression in Mothers

It is common for mothers to get cranky because of less sleep. Read the article to know more.

i get cranky because of less sleep

It is common for mothers to get cranky because of less sleep. Read the article to know more.

Mother's cranky behaviour due to less sleep

Postpartum Depression in Fathers

Postpartum Depression in Mothers

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