Are we exhibiting what we want our kids to be? Call it a harsh reality but children rarely learn from what we preach, they learn from our actions. Take this for an example, an anonymous user on the internet confessed that her child would hit her younger sibling while playing. Her explanation in defence was, “We are playing ‘mommy”. We all aspire to become perfect parents for our kids because we want to inculcate values in them that would make them better human beings. But the larger and the more significant question is do we exhibit that kind of discipline in our behaviour? We expect our children to use modern-day gadgets judiciously but do we supervise our use of these products? We want our kids to watch their words and actions when angry but do we manage our anger appropriately? We want our kids to show decorum and discipline with their daily routine but are we exhibiting ourselves as an example to do the same? Dr Haim Ginott, a renowned child psychologist, pointed out, “Children are like wet cement. Whatever falls on them makes an impression.” If we give the child an environment of hostility he is more likely to learn to fight. An environment of ridicule and shame can lead to the child resulting being shy and guilty. But similarly, if the child had always lived with tolerance, he learns to become more patient. If he has always received praise, he learns the virtue of appreciation. What is important during the child’s growing years is that we model the kind of behaviour we expect our children to be. It is impossible to not be stressed or angry under circumstances. But when the parents manage their stress and anger appropriately, the message is loud and clear to the kids that it is normal to feel negative at times but it is only the positive attitude towards solving these problems that reap good results. Parents should ‘speak’ and ‘do’ what they expect out of their children. Saying statements like. “I love all kinds of food”, “I love playing outdoors”, “Let’s clean up the mess together”, “Let’s help little brother/sister with eating the food”. These kinds of statements bring about assurance in the kids and before indulging in the wrong they are forced to do what think what they have been taught. The brains of children are like sponges. They absorb everything without discriminating information into right or wrong. Let's set ourselves as better examples for our children. Let's exhibit what we want our children to be.

Are we exhibiting what we want our kids to be? Call it a harsh reality but children rarely learn from what we preach, they learn from our actions.

Children See Children Learn - The pillar of parenting

Being a positive role model for your child can help instil the right attitude and habits from an early age for your child to nurture a healthy lifestyle.

Children See Children Learn ~The pillar of parenting

A few things said in haste messes up a child's brain and have a considerable impact psychologically, like low self-confidence, self-doubt, anxiety, depression, and so much more. Throughout your parenting journey, make sure you are not saying things or acting out in a way that could damage your child(ren) mentally. Sometimes parents are not aware that their actions affect their child(ren) negatively, and sometimes parents overlook it and justify their bad behaviour due to their stress. Here are a few practices which you should avoid telling your child(ren): Pick these up right now. I don't want you leaving a mess like that again.Instead, say:&nbsp;I don't like this mess you are leaving. Can you please clean this up when you have time? You should know better.Instead, say:&nbsp;It's OK not to know some things. Here, I will help you out. You're a bad kid.Instead, say:&nbsp;Can you tell me why you behaved/acted in such a way? I feel it wasn't right, is there anything you want to talk about? Or Else.&nbsp;Example: Eat dinner, or else you won't get your dessert.Instead, say:&nbsp;How about you take a healthy dinner quickly so that we can all enjoy dessert together?&nbsp; Stop being shy.Instead, say:&nbsp;You can come to say hi to your aunt when you are ready. You should set a good example for your brother.Instead, say:&nbsp;Your brother looks up to you; you're such a good role model. Wait until your father/mother gets home.Instead, say:&nbsp;You're grounded because you said a bad word. I will never forgive you.Instead, say:&nbsp;What you did was not acceptable, but we can look past it and move on if you think the next time. I'm ashamed of you.Instead, say:&nbsp;Although I feel bad about what you did, I love you for who you are. Don't worry; everything will be OK.Instead, say:&nbsp;Mom and Dad are always nearby, and we're going to set up a plan in case of emergency. Here, I'll do it.Instead, say:&nbsp;Let's do it together!" Don't cryInstead, say:&nbsp;I know you're sad, and it's OK to cry. It's OK to let out your emotions. Let me hug you. If you don't clean your room, you're going to be in big trouble.Instead, say:&nbsp;When your room is clean, then you may go out to play. Family finances aren't your business.Instead, say:&nbsp;Finances are how we make and manage money, and when you like, we will teach you what we know. I'm disappointed in you.Instead, say:&nbsp;I'm surprised and was not expecting this to occur. Come here, NOW.Instead, say:&nbsp;It's almost time to go. Do you want one minute or two? Because I said so.Instead, say:&nbsp;Explaining why you feel a certain way about something. We can't afford that.Instead, say:&nbsp;We're not going to buy that because we're saving our money for more important things. Don't talk to strangers.Instead, say:&nbsp;What would you do if a man you don't know offers you candy and a ride home? OR If anyone makes you feel sad, scared, or confused, you need to tell me right away. You should listen to adults.Instead, say:&nbsp;You need to listen to your parents. Don't be greedy!Instead, say:&nbsp;Would you please be kind and share your toys with your friend? Who taught you this? (about mischief)Instead, say:&nbsp;Why did you do that? Look at this lovely girl.Instead, say:&nbsp;I love you. You can do this too. I do everything for you.Instead, say:&nbsp;We do things for you because we love you, so please do for me. Do I have to tell you this 100 times?Instead, say:&nbsp;I've told you this before, but could you please. That's only for boys/girls.Instead:&nbsp;Say nothing at all. Try your best at raising gender-neutral children. You live under my roof, so you follow my rules.Instead, say:&nbsp;You know the household rules. Please stick to them. That's how I was raised.Instead, say:&nbsp;I don't think it's a good idea to do [ ]. Even my parents used to tell me that [ ]. You're just like your mother/father!Instead say:&nbsp;I’m not happy with [ ] because [ ]. I told you so.Instead, say:&nbsp;I'm sorry to hear about [ ] ... let this be a lesson. It's just a little white lie.Instead, explain to them that it's OK to use white lies to be polite and not hurt someone's feelings. Explain to them the fine line between lies and little white lies. Man up. / Be a man.Never disregard your son's feelings. Don't teach them that showing emotions is weak. To show emotions is only human. Why can't you be more like your sister?Instead, say:&nbsp;I don't quite like this behaviour of yours. Do you think we can work on it? If you loved me, you wouldn't do (this/that).Don't teach them that love needs to be proven all the time. Love comes without ifs and buts. I wish you'd never been born. / I hate you.No matter how angry you are, this is the worst thing to say. You would be scarring your child. Why can't you do anything right?Instead, say: What's the barrier? Is there anything I can help you with? I don't believe you.Instead, say: This comes as a shock for me. But I am sure you can tell me the whole thing. There's nothing to be afraid of.Instead, say:&nbsp;Everyone has their fair share of fears. We appreciate that you shared your feelings with us. We promise we will work on this together. You're lazy/stupid/selfish.Never label your child. Never. Your friends don't do that.Comparison will never bring any positive change. Accept your child for who they are and appreciate them. You should have done better.Praise them for their achievement. Do not over expect. You don't know what you're talking about. / You're too young to know what you want.Often children know what they want or how they feel. Saying this will show your distrust in their feelings. You'll never be able to do that.Instead, encourage and push your child to do better, of course, without any comparison. You're so fat/skinny, or You're going to get fat/skinny.Never attribute a child's identity to their looks. You make me so mad.Calm your anger down, and then talk to your child(ren).&nbsp;Instead, say:&nbsp;We will talk about this after a while when I am in the right state of my mind. Impact of such phrases on children:<ol><li>Antisocial behaviour</li><li>Poor resilience</li><li>Depression</li><li>Aggression</li><li>Lack of empathy</li><li>Difficulty in relationships</li><li>Self-doubt</li><li>Lack of self-confidence</li><li>Anxiety</li></ol>

A few things said in haste messes up a child's brain and have a considerable impact psychologically, like low self-confidence, self-doubt, anxiety and so on

Speaking Gently: Things you should never say to your child

A few things said in haste messes up a child’s brain and have a huge impact psychologically.

Things You Should Never Say to Your Child

<ul><li>Make sure to get your child fully checked before the winter starts.</li><li>Make sure that all heating appliances like geysers &amp; heaters are in working condition.</li><li>Adequate warm clothing is essential but makes sure to NOT over-dress your baby as it can be extremely uncomfortable for him/her. Several thin layers will keep them dry and warm. Always remember to make them warm boots, gloves or mittens, and a hat. The rule of thumb for older babies and young children is to dress them in one more layer of clothing than an adult would wear in the same conditions.</li><li>Give warm water baths to your child. Make sure that there is a balance between the bathroom and the bedroom temperature so that your child does not get uncomfortable after the bath.</li><li>There should be no gusts of cold winds when you are bathing your baby.</li><li>Give adequate necessary vitamins and nutrients essential for proper growth to your child.</li><li>When riding/travelling in a car, make them wear thin, snug layers rather than thick, bulky coats or snowsuits.</li><li>Use sleep clothing for babies like warm one-piece sleepers or wearable blankets instead of loose bedding like blankets, quilts, pillows, bumpers, and sheepskins as they are a cause of suffocating deaths.</li><li>If a blanket must be used to keep a sleeping infant warm, it should be thin and tucked under the crib mattress, reaching only as far as the baby's chest.</li><li>Prevent cold and flu by getting kids to:</li></ul>-Use soap and water: Washing their hands frequently will reduce the spread of germs.-Cover their mouth: Sneezing or coughing into the bend of their elbows also helps prevent the spreading of germs.-Get immunised: Keep vaccinations current, including the flu shot.<ul><li>Include soup in your baby’s diet. A healthy soup in cold weather will keep your baby warm.</li><li>Maintain your own hygiene: Make sure to wash and sanitise your hands before you attend to your baby every time. You need to stay healthy so that your child does not catch any infections because of you.</li><li>Use a Humidifier: When using a heating apparatus during winters it could rob the room of water vapour, making the air dry as well as your child’s skin. Hence, install a humidifier in the room so that the moisture levels are maintained.</li><li>Make use of a moisturiser for your baby as your little one's skin will be extremely sensitive and the harsh atmosphere of the winter can make it dry. Opt for skin creams or moisturisers that are made for the baby’s skin.</li><li>Protect your child from hypothermia. Hypothermia develops when a child's temperature falls below normal due to exposure to colder temperatures. As hypothermia sets in, the child may shiver and become lethargic and clumsy.&nbsp;Speech may become slurred.</li><li>If you suspect your child is hypothermic, call for an emergency at once. Until help arrives, take the child indoors, remove any wet clothing, and wrap him/her in blankets or warm clothes.</li><li>Another thing to keep your baby safe from is frostbite. Frostbite happens when the skin and outer tissues become frozen.&nbsp;This condition tends to happen on extremities like the fingers, toes, ears and nose.&nbsp;They may become pale, grey and blistered. At the same time, the child may complain that his/her skin burns or has become numb.</li><li>If you suspect frostbite, bring the child indoors and place the frostbite parts of his/her body in warm (not hot) water. Warm washcloths may be applied to frostbitten noses, ears and lips. Do not rub the frozen areas. After a few minutes, dry and cover the child with clothing or blankets. Give him/her something warm to drink. If the numbness continues for more than a few minutes, call your doctor.</li></ul>

Taking the right precautionary steps before the arrival of any season will keep your baby safe and healthy.

Winter Precautions for Babies

Taking the right precautionary steps before the arrival of any season will keep your baby safe and healthy.

Precautions for Babies During the Winter Season

Before guiding your child towards the spiritual path, accept it in your life first. Children can feel when parents fake something. So it is important to be completely true to what you believe in before nurturing your child’s spiritual side. Developing spirituality is a lifelong journey towards self-discovery. What is spirituality?The dictionary defines it as being concerned about the human soul and spirit as opposed to physical and material things. It does not matter in which religion you believe. It is important to believe in the energy that is greater than us. Spirituality is developing life values like gratitude, compassion, sharing, acceptance, faith, etc. Being spiritual is respecting life, respecting the rights of others, and appreciating the environment. For example, teaching ‘sharing’ to children is important; be it sharing their toys with other children or sharing their time and energy with elderly people. It is important to let our children know how these actions make other people feel good. Not to mention when we help others, we are truly helping ourselves. Spiritual kids are happier and healthier and have a better sense of values and morals.Spiritual well being leads to fewer chances of anxiety and depressive symptoms. Spiritual well being also leads to emotional well being in children. There is no particular age when you can start instilling spirituality in your children. You can teach your babies and toddlers too. At this age, they might not understand it mentally but they will feel the energies, vibrations, and love and will know that this is a state of being. Here are a few ways to nurture your child spiritually:<ol><li>Set an intention:&nbsp;First thing in the morning have everyone in your family set their intention for the day. Have your children state their intention, for example, their intention for the day could be something like: I intend to be mindful in school today, or I intend to have a happy day.&nbsp;At the end of the day, ask them if their day turned out as they intended it to. If not, ask them where it went off track and what they could have done differently.</li><li>Gratitude journal: Make it a habit that everyone in the family writes down at least one thing they are grateful for every day in the evening. It can be anything from being happy for being alive to thanking another family member for something they have done for them. Alternatively, if you as a family eat dinner together, have everyone at the dinner table state what they are grateful for.</li><li>Guided visualisation: Children are visual learners so guided visualisations or meditations work great. Guided visualisations can create healthily, thought-provoking images to transform negativity into positive affirmations. Guided visualisations provide relief from stress and anxiety, decrease panic attacks, boost self-esteem, and provides opportunities for children to connect with themselves on deeper levels. Guided visualisations are best to use before bed so as to calm your baby down and put them in the space to have good dreams.</li><li>Martial Arts:&nbsp;As odd as this sounds, martial arts actually emphasises self-control, respect, and compassion. Apart from teaching self-control and discipline, martial arts boosts self-esteem and confidence, it provides a tool to channel anger. It is also a great exercise</li><li>Yoga:&nbsp;Yoga brings about inner peace, is a good way to increase children’s awareness of their own bodies, aids their sense of balance. It also reduces stress and lowers anxiety levels in children.</li><li>Arts and Crafts:&nbsp;Arts and crafts provide children with the opportunity of being creative and use their imagination. Hence, art and craft is great way to explore spirituality. Art also helps children in expressing their deepest feelings for which they don’t have the words to say out loud. Children tell the truth through their art.</li><li>Explore nature: Exploring nature helps in self-discovery. You can teach several aspects of life using the elements of nature. For example, you can teach your children about transformation by talking about butterflies; teach them about the interconnectedness of life by talking about ecosystems while hiking in the forest; teach them about conservation by picking up trash wherever you are; take them for stargazing. There are endless ways to teach children about the universe and its place in it through the exploration of nature.</li><li>Community Service: Volunteering for a community service project can provide children with a broader understanding of how they fit in the world. It helps them develop compassion and empathy for others and find gratitude that their own circumstances are different from others.</li><li>Encourage your child to share his or her dreams with you: By showing a genuine interest in your child’s dreams, the child will learn to value them. Encouragement to share will build their self-confidence and in turn create an optimistic and cheerful approach to life. By encouraging a child to share aspirations we are ultimately supporting them in believing and achieving them.</li><li>Listen to your child with full attention and concentration: When children try to communicate but aren’t heard and honoured, they try to guard their feelings over time and keep to themselves most of the time. Take time out to sit and listen to your child’s joys, achievements, frustrations, and dreams.</li></ol>

Children can feel when parents fake something. So it is important to be completely true to what you believe in before nurturing your child’s spiritual side. 

Nurturing your child's Spirituality

Spirituality keeps one grounded and helps an individual live an emotionally and mentally content life.

Nurturing your childs Spirituality

Kids tend to avoid healthy food due to the high taste levels of junk food. These activities will be a great help to develop their interest in food:<ul><li>Take them for grocery shopping.</li><li>Cook and Bake with them; there is nothing more exciting than this.</li><li>Teach them gardening - grow foods in your backyard.</li><li>Place the food on the plate in the colours of a rainbow; this way you can include all sorts of food on your child's plate. The easiest way is to prepare a food salad or a vegetable salad.</li><li>Hide vegetables and fruits in an opaque box or carry bag and ask the child to close their eyes. Then ask them to put their hand inside the bag, pick up food, feel it and then try to identify the vegetable/fruit through its texture. You can do this activity separately for vegetables and fruits to make it easier for your child.</li><li>Food obstacle course activity. Design an obstacle course in your house where you place different fruits/vegetables as obstacles. The child will have to eat a small portion of that vegetable or fruit before advancing forward. You can carry out this activity in a group and it will be a lot more fun.</li><li>Weave a story around fruits and vegetables and narrate those during their mealtime; check out food-related stories on our app.</li><li>Sing them songs/rhymes about food; you can a few songs related to food on our app.</li></ul> Keep in mind:<ul><li>Do not give them screens during mealtime; this way they will know what they are eating and will appreciate the food on their plates.</li><li>Let them have their favourite snack or dessert once in a while. But do not use them as treats for eating the food that they like less.</li></ul>

Thinking of interesting ways to present food to your child(ren) will make them eat all types of food.

Activities to encourage and develop child's interest in food

Thinking of interesting ways to present food to your child(ren) will make them eat all types of food.

Activities to develop your child interest in food

Dr Aliraza Khunt

Late sleeping habits can be due to many reasons:<ul><li>This situation can arise due to the atmosphere in the house and lifestyle of family members.</li><li>These days parents themselves stay up late watching TV and using phones even after going to bed.</li><li>Studies reveal that if a child sleeps late then there are more chances of the child getting obese.</li><li>Ideally child should not sleep late. To help children sleep early, the parents can dim the lights and maintain silence in the house- the ambience to sleep should be created.</li><li>Even the parents should develop a habit of going early to bed.There is no such medication for sleep which can be given to children.</li><li>Only thing that can be done is following a proper sleep ritual to&nbsp;develop a habit of sleeping early.</li><li>You can make bedtime interesting by planning a different activity with your child before going to bed.</li><li>Few babies have habit of late evening nap. Avoid that to prevent late night sleep.</li></ul> Following the above measures can help you improve your child's sleep cycle.

By following proper measures, the habit of sleeping late can be improved upon.

Late sleeping habit in children

Late sleeping habits are not good for your child. Read the article to know how you can work upon this.

improving child sleeping pattern

Late sleeping habits are not good for your child. Read the article to know how you can work upon this.

Late sleeping habit in children

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