Palak Vyas

Dr Ajab Primuswala

Many children are particular about not sharing their toys with others. This is because toys are the only things which they feel is their possession. And as they feel it’s their possession, they tend to not share them with people they do not know. They are reluctant to share their toys with unknown people because they are worried if someone might break them. Such a tendency is normal. But you can always teach them that sharing is caring. Help them understand that sharing is the first step towards new friendships. If your child does not share his/her toys even with the ones they know and trust, try to talk to them and understand the reason behind that. Explain to them that it is alright to share personal toys with the people they trust. If they share theirs, their friends will also share toys. This will result in more toys and more enjoyment. Do not force them to share their toys. They will take time and it is okay. Do not negatively inculcate anything in them. For example, never say “if you don’t share your toys, we will not buy more for you”.

Most kids are possessive by nature. Observe carefully where there possession ends.

Child does not share toys

Intolerance means the child is not able to share his/her space and get comfortable with other kids. You can try the following to improve the situation:<ul><li>Tell your child that you love them and just like you care for them, others will care for them too if they allow others in their space.</li><li>Keep a track of whether your child is being rude or abusive when their friends visit him/her or whether your child just walks away when friends visit. If your child is being rude or abusive, it is not acceptable. Tell them that being rude will have consequences.</li><li>But if they are just walking away, make your child greet and talk to their friend(s) and then walk away politely rather than walking away in an aggressive manner.</li><li>Intolerance may have psychological reasons as well. It may be because your child has trust issues due to a past experience or something else.</li><li>Observe their behaviour with everyone. Are they being intolerant of everyone or just of a single person? If it is everyone, you should get a clinical psychologist's help to tackle this behaviour. If it is just one person, the child might have had some bitter experience(s) with that particular person. Talk to your child to know the reason. If they don't give in, a psychologist can help you and your child.</li><li>The reason behind intolerance needs to be figured out at the earliest and a psychologist might be able to help you and your child in this matter.</li></ul>

Intolerance is not the same as possessiveness. It might have underlying reasons.

intolerant parenting concerns

Parenting issues are a part of the everyday parenting journey. Following article(s) might help you with your concern(s).

Child does not share toys

Child does not tolerate others

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