Palak Vyas

Dr Ajab Primuswala

When you say that your child is not able to make friends, it might just be your perception about the child. You might be overlooking the possibility that maybe the child is into playing alone. Another possibility could be that maybe the child is not being allowed to play what the (s)he wants hence the child takes resorts to self-play. Playing alone makes the child a priority for himself/herself. <ul><li>If your child is unable to make friends; you first need to identify whether the child is not being able to make friends or whether (s)he is not being able to maintain friendships.</li><li>Not being able to make friends might be because your child is an introvert and that is fine. If your child has one or two good friends whom (s)he can trust, there is no need for a huge friend circle. It’s okay if the child does not want to be with his/her friends all the time because introverts need some alone time to recharge themselves.</li><li>If your child is not able to maintain his/her friendships, it might be because (s)he is not able to cope with the changes which come with friendships and is not able to prioritise others above self. In this case, you can help your child get adapted to the change and help them understand that friends are an important part of life just like family.</li><li>If you perceive that your child is an introvert, is it because (s)he is not making friends? If so, you cannot generalise that the child is an introvert.</li><li>An introvert child does not usually interact with the guests at home, the child does not speak to people when asked for, and the child is not able to talk about his needs. If you observe these in your child, then your child is an introvert.</li><li>Once you identify that your child is an introvert, you can motivate the child to interact more. Or you can simply not act on it as this is not a problem, just a way of being.</li><li>You can help your child adapt to basic life skills by encouraging them and praising them every time they try coming out of their comfort zones. For example, if the child asks for some help at the restaurant himself/herself, acknowledge that and praise them. Acknowledgement and praise for an introvert go a long way.</li></ul> In a nutshell, we can only motivate our children to live a better life and if they are introverted or extroverted, it is up to us to accept and respect them for who and how they are instead of trying to change them as per our notions of perfect children. Love them unconditionally for being themselves and avoid forcing societal conditioning on them. Introvert or extrovert is just a state of being. It is not a problem.

A child is entitled to his/her choices of choosing friends and playmates.

Child does not make friends

Samiksha Choithani

Juhi Mishra

Confidence is one of the greatest gifts that a parent can give to the child. Young children need a lot of encouragement at every stage, be it crawling, learning to walk or draw a circle.Shy kids are mostly thoughtful, self-reliant and empathetic. If your child feels a little shy in opening up with new people, try this:<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Accept the fact that your child takes some time to mingle with people but do not make statements. Accepting the child in his/her wholeness gives confidence to the child. Do not publicly make statements such as “(s)he is too shy in front of new people”.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">At the same time do not intervene when they are asked a question. It may take some time to answer, but let them try.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">You can also arrange play dates to help the child open up with social circles.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Encourage curiosity in children; never stop them from asking questions. Answering their questions empowers a child and makes the child more confident.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Boost your child’s social skills, like when in a store, encourage them to pay to cashier, let them order their own food when in a restaurant.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Praise your child for little efforts, eg when they greet guests at home. If they feel uncomfortable talking in social situations, talk about it and encourage them to try next time.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">A child learns by noticing parents, behave or talk the way you want your children to talk. Model a behaviour expected from the children.</li></ul>

A child will always stay true to his/her nature. Nonetheless, there is always room for changes and improvements.

introvert parenting concerns

Parenting issues are a part of the everyday parenting journey. Following article(s) might help you with your concern(s).

Child does not make friends

Dealing with an introvert child

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