Separation anxiety often develops after a significant stressful or traumatic event in the child's life, such as leaving child for&nbsp;school, a stay in the hospital, the death of a loved one or pet, or a change in environment (such as moving to another house or a change of schools). Measures which can be taken to deal with this situation:<ul><li>Good-byes should be quicker and loving: See them off with warmth and love. Kiss them bye, provide a special blanket or toy as you leave, keep the good-bye short and sweet. If you take longer time the child gets anxious, so make it quick.</li><li>Be consistent: Try to drop them at the same time each day, to avoid unexpected factors whenever you can.</li><li>Attention: While you are leaving your child, give your him/her full attention, be loving, and provide affection. Then say good-bye quickly despite their cries for you to stay.</li><li>Keep your promise: You’ll build trust and independence as your child becomes confident in his/her ability to be without you when you stick to your promise of return.</li><li>Be specific, child style: When you discuss your return, provide specifics that your child understands. If you know you’ll be back by 3:00 pm, tell it to your child on his/her terms; for example, say, “I’ll be back after reading time and before afternoon snack.” Define time in a way (s)he can understand.</li><li>Practice being apart: Leave the children off to grandma’s home, schedule play-dates, and allow friends and family to provide child care for you (even for an hour) on the weekend. Before starting child care or preschool, practice going to school and your good-bye ritual. Give your child a chance to prepare, experience, and deal in your absence!</li></ul> Separation anxiety hardly persists after pre-school years. In case of working parents, separation anxiety can occur to both parents as well as children. Above mentioned measures can be helpful in this case as well.

Separation anxiety can be difficult to deal with but things can be made easy by following a few measures.

Separation anxiety measures

Swaddling is a part of caring for newborn babies since centuries. This makes the babies feel as if they are in the womb. It is one of the best techniques to calm a cranky baby and help them sleep for long. It can be particularly helpful for babies with neurological problems (problems associated with nerves, like migraine, stroke etc.) or colic (abdominal pain during infancy). It also can really help babies to fall and stay asleep on their backs. Consider these points when you are swaddling your baby:<ul><li>If your baby is happy without swaddling, don’t swaddle.</li><li>Always put your baby to sleep on his back if he is swaddled.</li><li>Make sure that whatever you are using to swaddle doesn’t become loose.</li><li>For the healthy development of the hips, babies’ legs need to be able to bend up and out at the hips. Swaddling for short periods of time is likely fine, but if your baby is going to spend a significant amount of the day and night swaddled, consider swaddling a little easy that lets the legs move.</li></ul>

Swaddling gives a very cosy feeling to a newborn baby. The baby feels as if it is still in the mother's womb.

The art of Swaddling a baby

Raising a single child is absolutely alright; do not let the external pressure and guilt affect you. You can raise an only child with good attributes of sharing and negotiation. You might be worried about loneliness but friends are often a new family. Following points will help you to raise your single child in a fulfilling way:<ul><li>Instil social skills by frequent interactions with neighbours and close family members regularly.</li><li>Help your child become self reliant, share daily chores; this will keep them occupied and make them independent.</li><li>Talk to them often, try to be best friends and do crazy stuff with your toddler. Like pretend play, cycling, clay moulding or racing.</li><li>Let them have play dates or you can also think of enrolling them in weekend sessions for dance, music or sports. Engage them in age appropriate activities.</li><li>Ensure an hour is spent outdoors or in outdoor play areas (parks and gardens).</li><li>Once in a while, plan a family outing to the nearest zoo, water-park, amusement-park, etc.</li></ul>

Raising a single child is absolutely alright; do not let the external pressure affect you.

Raising a single child

Palak Vyas

Before asking them to stop shouting, identify from where they learned it. Usually, children learn such behaviour from home itself or from their surroundings. If as a parent, you are yelling at your child, the first thing you need to do is stop shouting at your child. Child models your behaviour. What they see, they learn. If you have screamed at your child for a certain thing, they learn that screaming at people gets the task done. Once they learn to yell, it's difficult for them to unlearn. Steps you can take to stop your child from yelling: <ul><li>Face to face communication: Whenever you talk to your child, look them in the eye and calmly convey your message. Do not make faces. Stop staring and glaring at them. Always, go near to your child or call them near and then talk calmly. Do not show a frustrated or angry face or use abusive language.</li><li>Use a timetable to avoid conflict: When the time table is pre-decided there are fewer chances of conflict and anger and frustration. Gradually, the child develops the habit of accepting the time frames for particular activities and follows it. Stay flexible and understanding if your child fails to follow the timetable once in a while.</li><li>Walk out of the argument: In instances where the child is yelling, tell them, “It is not right to shout and yell at others. Let’s calm down and then talk”. Don’t sound stubborn but be firm.</li><li>Set an example: Yes! We know the situation is frustrating and triggering for you, but this is your test. Maintain your calm and composure during the argument. This may seem difficult but with practice, you will learn it too.</li></ul> In cases of toddler’s yelling there are few points that need to be considered:<ul><li>Toddlers scream just to check their ability to scream and experiment. It might be a fun thing for them.</li><li>Sometimes they yell to grab attention or to have a toy. In short, they yell to show the power and make you believe that you either fulfil their wish or they will shout and get it. In such cases, if you do what they ask just to escape their shouting, you are making a huge mistake. Be firm and calmly tell them whatever they do, you would only listen to them when they lower your voice.</li><li>At times they might be really uncomfortable in some situations so always make it a point to first ask them the issue and then respond accordingly.</li></ul>

Shouting only makes matters worse, be it you or your child.

Dealing with a constantly shouting child

Ravina Sewani

Children have a more delicate skin than adults so burns and scalds affect them severely. Burns and scalds are not the same. Burns are caused by dry heat, for example, by an iron or fire. Scalds, on the other hand, are caused by wet heat, for example, hot water or steam. Burns and scalds cause:<ul><li>Red or peeling skin</li><li>Blisters</li><li>Swelling</li><li>White or charred skin&nbsp;</li></ul> Burns are of 3 levels - first, second, and third degree burns:<ul><li>First degree burns are mild causing pain and reddening of the skin. Second degree burns cause redness, swelling, pain, and blistering. Third degree burns cause white, blackened, or charred skin that may be numb.</li><li>First degree burns can be treated at home. Second and third degree burns need medical attention immediately.</li></ul> A few things to keep in mind before treating burns at home:<ul><li>If the source of the burn is electrical, do not touch your child. First turn off the switch.</li><li>If the source of the burn is anything hot or due to any chemical, remove the agent and run cool water over the burn.</li><li>If your child's clothing is on fire, make them stop running, cover their face, drop them to the floor, and extinguish the fire with a blanket. If your child is old enough to understand instructions, ask them to stop walking/running, cover their face with their hands, drop to the floor, and roll on the floor to put the fire out.</li></ul> Treating burns and scalds at home:<ul><li>Soak the burn in cool (not cold) water for at least 15 minutes. Do not use ice.</li><li>If there is any clothing attached with the burn, do not peel it. Cut the extra clothing around it.</li><li>Cover the burn using a clean cloth or an antibiotic ointment.</li><li>Do not pop any blisters.</li><li>If your child is experiencing pain, ask your child's paediatrician to prescribe medication for the pain.</li></ul> Preventing burns:<ul><li>Kids are curious by nature so it is up to parents to take proper precautions which will prevent injuries from burns and scalds. Here are a few things to keep in mind:</li><li>Keep the water temperature for bathing young children between 37 to 38 C.</li><li>Do not leave kids unsupervised in the bathroom or kitchen.</li><li>Keep hot drinks and handles out of reach of children.</li><li>Never carry hot things when holding children.</li></ul> Call the doctor if:<ul><li>The burned area is charred or white.</li><li>Electric shock or chemicals caused the burn.</li><li>The burn is on the face, hands, feet, genitals, or a joint.</li><li>The burn covers 10% or more of the body.</li></ul>

Children have a more delicate skin than adults so burns and scalds affect them severely.

Burns and Scalds

Fatherhood is a biological and an emotional sea of changes. Starting a few months before childbirth, testosterone levels lower as prolactin, vasopressin and other hormones increase rewiring a man’s brain to prepare him for fatherhood. Entire area of man’s brain grows and develops in response to hormonal changes in the first year of a child's life, which allows him to care for a newborn. There is an increased sensitivity to crying, a deeper capacity to bond emotionally and a greater responsiveness to another’s needs. Men and women can experience depression very differently. Symptoms which might indicate poor mental health of a father:<ol><li>Increased anger and conflict with others</li><li>Increased use of alcohol</li><li>Frustration or irritability</li><li>Violent behaviour</li><li>Significant weight gain or loss</li><li>Isolation from family and friends</li><li>Being easily stressed</li><li>Increase in complaints about physical problems, like headaches, digestion problems, fatigue</li><li>Problems with concentration or motivation</li><li>Loss of interest in work, hobbies and/or sex</li><li>Working constantly</li><li>Self doubt</li></ol> Some of the factors that can contribute to depression in new or soon-to-be fathers include:<ol><li>Personal history of depression</li><li>Family history of depression</li><li>Worries about being a parent</li><li>Feeling overwhelmed with expectations in your role at work and your role as a father</li><li>Financial problems</li><li>Lack of social and/or emotional support</li><li>Stress in relationship with family or spouse</li><li>Missing attention and/or sex from partner</li><li>Lack of sleep after the baby is born</li><li>Feeling excluded from the bond between mother and baby</li></ol> Diagnosis:Your mental healthcare professional will ask you to fill up a depression-screening questionnaire to confirm whether you have depression or not. Following are a few ways which you can follow to take care of your stress and emotions:<ol><li>Work on building stronger bond between you and your partner. Understand her needs and desires and talk about your own too. Feel free to express in front of your partner or family or friends.</li><li>Develop a support team from your family. Ask for help. Say YES when they offer.</li><li>Take time for yourself. Have some “me-time” either watching TV, going for a movie or taking a short break from work and spending time doing things you like.</li><li>Talk to other families who have experienced the same.</li><li>Spend time with your baby to develop your own confidence.</li></ol> Treatment:<ul><li>Talk Therapy: PPD is a severe form of clinical depression. Your psychiatrist might suggest you to see a counsellor who will ask you questions about your life. It is important that you answer them honestly. These sessions will help you gain a different and healthier perspective about things. Therapy is different and personalised for everyone but these are a few topics which you might touch in your sessions: your feelings, your beliefs, your behaviour, your life pre and post birth. There are 2 types of talk therapy:</li></ul><ol><li>Cognitive Behavioural Therapy: You and your counselor work together to identify, then change, thoughts and behaviors that are harmful to your mental health.</li><li>Interpersonal therapy: Your therapist helps you better understand how you behave in your relationships and how to work through any problems.</li></ol> <ul><li>Medication: Antidepressants are drugs designed to treat depression, including postpartum depression. They work on different chemicals in your brain.</li><li>Self-care: Get more sleep and exercise, eat healthy foods, do fun activities and relax. Doing these things can help to boost your mood.</li></ul>

A parent's mental health is of the top most priority when it comes to parenting. A healthy mental space leads to a happy and healthy bond between a parent and a child.

Postpartum Depression in Fathers

Helping your child to cope with moving anxiety:<ol><li>Prepare your kids by proper information beforehand.</li><li>Let them ask questions and answer patiently.</li><li>Answer them honestly and be prepared for a variety of reactions.</li><li>If the place you are moving to a new place, take your child there and let them explore the new place.</li><li>Encourage their opinions and participation. For example ask them which plants they would want in their new house.</li></ol> Helping your child cope with stress:1. Stop over scheduling their day:Limit your child’s activities as per his age. 2. Make sleep a Priority:See that your child has enough sleep, let there be quiet time in the afternoon where they can read, or listen to music, rest and relax. 3. Teach them how to listen to their body:Consider asking them questions about how they feel whenever you see their energies are going down. This way they also stay aware about his body. 4. Prepare your kids to deal with mistakes:You can prepare them by narrating your own experiences of how you made mistakes and how you deal with it, how you solved it or handled it calmly. They always model you. 5. Limit the use of technology:Set time limits for using phones or watching television or playing video games. Overuse of technology makes child irritating. 6. Schedule relaxing activities:You can also enrol your child for music, painting, sketching, swimming or yoga classes as per his choices and preferences. 7. Get help:Any time you feel that your child looks over-stressed and none of the things are helping, take expert advice and consult a counselor.

In times of stress, it is important to let your child know that you are there for them.

Helping a child cope with stress

Qualities to look for the right cradle: <ol><li>The base of the cradle should be wide and sturdy so that it doesn’t topple and fall.</li><li>The distance between the slats should be appropriate, not too wide that the baby’s fingers or head get stuck in it.</li><li>Choose a cradle that has a sturdy mattress. It should be firm and well fitted. In case if the cradle doesn’t come with a mattress, you can buy it separately. Soft mattresses increase the risk of SIDS.</li><li>Choose a cradle with a fair and reasonable price as you are going to use this for a few months only. So buying an expensive and fancy cradle is a waste of money. The only criterion here is to buy a cradle that is comfortable to use, strong and reliable.</li><li>Check whether it meets the safety standards for design, structure, usage etc.</li><li>Select a cradle that has an automatic swing option; it relieves much of your work of swinging the cradle every now and then.</li><li>Get a cradle with either lockable wheels or no wheels at all. The cradle should be steady all the time.</li><li>These days cradles come with lullabies and music stored in it. It can be a great help to you.</li><li>Ensure it is portable and flexible enough to be travelled with.</li><li>The height and design of the cradle should be comfortable as you will have to pick up and put the baby back for n number of times. So look for your convenience.</li><li>Avoid cradles that come with sleep positioners. Sleep positioners may pose as a suffocating hazard.</li></ol>

A cradle is a baby bed with curved bases so it is easy to rock them from side to side.

Selecting a cradle for your baby

Today your child might just have asked about next door kid’s toys but tomorrow (s)he might have many questions like “Why can some people go on foreign trips and why can’t we?”. “Why does that boy have such an expensive suit and I don't have it? In short, you will have to give him/her some idea about money and money matters. When you start any conversation on wealth with your child, you should start with the concept of budgeting. Give them at least a rough idea about savings and family values regarding money. Showing them a larger picture will enable them to understand whatever you will explain to them further.While you are talking about money, indirectly you are teaching them about their relationship with money. So don’t sound judgemental, bragging, jealous or envious while talking about wealth. Keep all your notions aside and give them plain information and leave it up to them to analyse and come to conclusions. Explain money in a straight and plain manner. You can tell them that some people are born rich (hereditary wealth), some people have just what they need, whereas there are some whose basic needs are not met. There are people who work very hard but they are not paid enough. It is neither easy to understand nor is it fair. You too can show your confusion over wealth distribution. You can also explain to them that it also depends on how the family decides to spend. It depends on an individual and their preferences and passion about where they want to spend money. You can teach your child to appreciate what they have instead of thinking about things they can’t have. This is very difficult even for an adult but the more you emphasise on teaching appreciation, eventually, your child learns to do so.

It is difficult to talk about money matters with children but it must be done.

lifestyle concerns parenting concerns

Parenting issues are a part of the everyday parenting journey. Following article(s) might help you with your concern(s).