The following tips will help you manage your twins/triplets efficiently: <ul><li>Stick to a schedule</li></ul>Maintain a common schedule for the children. If one wakes up from a nap, wake up the other. If one is hungry and wants to eat, feed the other child as well. Scheduling both the children together will keep you sane and help you get proper sleep as well. <ul><li>Feed at the same time</li></ul>It is important to learn to breastfeed both babies at the same time. If you are feeding on the bottles, it is easier to have two spots to seat them. Breastfeed or bottle-feed, prepare ahead of the feed (a breastfeeding pillow, bottles, burp cloths, pumped breastmilk or formula and a snack for yourself). After feeding, burp the babies one by one. By the time the second (or third) baby has been fed, burped, and changed, the first one's often hungry - and the cycle begins all over again. In the beginning, breastfeeding two babies at the same time can be difficult. It is best to consult a lactation nurse on the days when you are still in the hospital. A nurse will help you try different breastfeeding positions so by the time you are home with your kids, you can apply the one that suits you and your child the best. When one of the babies wakes up to be fed in the middle of the night, wake up the other one after you're done with the first baby. It's hard to wake a sleeping baby, but if you don't, you will be constantly tending to babies and not getting any sleep. <ul><li>Bath twice</li></ul>Bathe your babies turn by turn. If you have an infant chair, put one of your babies in the chair beside you while you bathe the other child. When you are done with one baby, switch the places. Bath seats are also available in the market; these seats make the bathing process easier. <ul><li>Know who is who</li></ul>In the early days of twin parenting, it is natural to mix up your babies. You can dab a dot of nail polish on one of your baby's toes or fingers to avoid confusion. You can tie a wristband to one of your babies. See what works the best for you. <ul><li>Crying times two</li></ul>More often than not, both of your babies will cry at the same time. It is difficult to find out what soothes your babies. What works for one might not work for the other. Figure out if cuddling, cradling, singing, caressing works for your babies or not. <ul><li>Share the duties</li></ul>Ask for help; it can be difficult but ask away. It will be for your own peace. Delegate your tasks to your spouse or your other family members. You can hire a caretaker as well for some time till you figure out how to go about twin parenting. Delegating your tasks will give you time to bond with your babies. Communication is the key; if you feel one parent is taking up more responsibilities, talk it out. <ul><li>Preparing your house for your babies</li></ul>Baby proof your house in every possible way. Set up a changing station including diapers, wipes, and extra baby clothes. If you have a house with more levels, make sure to arrange changing stations, baby chairs at all levels. That way you can avoid running up and down the stairs every time one of the babies spits up or needs to be changed. <ul><li>Bond with your Babies</li></ul>It might take you more time to bond with your babies compared to parents of singletons. Most of your time will be eaten up in fulfilling your babies' needs. But the more time you spend with your babies, the more you will know them and connect with them. <ul><li>Celebrate their individuality</li></ul>It's important to treat your babies as individuals so that they begin to see themselves that way too. Refer to them by their names rather than as "the twins," and as they get older, make sure they have their own clothes and special toys. <ul><li>Plan quality time individually</li></ul>Plan quality time separately for your babies. Sit and talk to them, read a book, or play a game with your babies. The goal is to give each child life experiences that are fun and appropriate for them. Twins are very dependent upon each other in the early years. Spending some time apart will help them develop separate identities and help them understand their likes and dislikes. <ul><li>Respect your children</li></ul>Every child has different needs hence it is important to cater to their individual needs than being fair when raising twins. It is okay if you don't buy the same gifts or clothes for your twins or treat them in the same manner. Respecting the similarities and differences of each child fosters a real and healthy sense of self. <ul><li>Consider possessions &amp; twin identity</li></ul>Possessions help children form a sense of identity. Some separate clothes, toys, books, blankets, etc. reinforce separateness and ownership. Each child needs some possessions that do not have to be shared. This can be achieved by giving each child a special cupboard or space on a shelf. <ul><li>Be cautious about making comparisons.</li></ul>The comparison comes naturally to parents, knowingly or unknowingly. With twins, it becomes even more tempting to do so. Every child develops at their own pace hence it is best not to compare twins. Comparisons easily discourage a child or create a situation where (s)he feels less smart, capable, attractive or loved. What to invest in and what to save on?Babies Can Share:<ul><li>Changing table</li><li>Playpen or portable crib</li><li>Baby bathtub</li><li>Nursing pillow</li><li>Breast pump</li><li>Baby monitor</li><li>Double or triple stroller</li><li>Stationary activity centre</li><li>Activity mat</li></ul> Separate Baby Needs:<ul><li>Car seat</li><li>Infant seat</li><li>Bassinet</li><li>Crib</li><li>Swing</li><li>Diaper bag</li><li>High chair</li><li>Front carrier</li></ul>

It can be a little tricky to raise twins or triplets. But with time, you sure will figure out everything. The following tips will help you manage your twins efficiently.

Parenting hacks by experts on raising twins

It can be a little tricky to raise twins or triplets. But with time, you sure will figure out everything.

If your child is laughing without any specific reason or if (s)he is talking, crying or staying silent way too much without any understandable reason, this might indicate that your child is unable to understand what is going on in a particular situation. When children have insecurity of being judged as someone who cannot gauge what is going around in his/her space, they react in a way in which people around them are not able to catch the fact that the child is not understanding anything happening around him/her. From the child’s perspective, (s)he feels, "Come on! I don’t get it. Why do you want me to understand everything”. They choose not to be vocal about how they feel. So they keep reacting in odd ways. Sometimes children are scared and think "If I go say that I don’t understand this and ask again, my parents will get angry and scold me.” You need to analyse the scenarios in which your child laughs too much. Ask you this question - Is this situation particularly funny and laughable or is my child just acting oddly because of (s)he lacks understanding of the situation? If you feel that your child lacks understanding, talk to them in private and ensure them that you are there to understand them and not mock them or be angry at them. Reassure them that if they don't feel right about anything, they can come to you and talk to you; there will be no judgements. If things are out of control and you cannot help manage your child's behaviour, you should consult a child psychologist who can help you solve this problem by taking steps in the right direction.

Pay attention to the situations in which your child laughs too much; this will help you to understand the problem better.

When a child laughs too much

Pay attention to the situations in which your child laughs too much; this will help you to understand the problem better.

Creativity is at the epicentre of human exploration and discovery. Creativity is a force that nurtures human development, innovation and helps us appreciate nature around us. Everyone is creative. Being creative helps children to look within themselves, take a pause and helps them to calm down. Below are a few ways to nurture your child’s creative ideas and imaginative spirit:<ol><li>Encourage possibility thinking: Pose the “What if?” question in front of your child in as many ways as possible; these help children naturally think of creative possibilities for everything they encounter.</li><li>Nurture your child’s interests: Allow your children to choose their after-school activities. Encourage them to more deeply explore those activities in essays and projects at school.</li><li>Expand the language of emotion: Being able to understand and describe emotions is critical to the creative process. Help them with the emotional vocabulary so that they can express their feelings better.</li><li>Play, play, play: Through imaginative play, children explore their ideas and create meaning about the world around them. It is better to provide all kinds of art supplies - crayons, play dough, construction paper, glitter to your child so that (s)he can create freely.</li><li>Explore the beauty of nature: The natural world inspires children to think, question, make suppositions, instil problem-solving skills, and develop creative minds. Children can draw in the sand, make designs with twigs, build forts with branches, or simply lie on the ground and look up at the sky.</li><li>Advocate for the daydreamer: When kids daydream, they explore associations, make connections, and search for possibilities. Daydreaming and a bit of solitude for reflection are among the attributes of highly creative people.</li><li>Invent scenarios: Invent scenarios with your child. This way (s)he will try on lots of different roles and organise his/her thoughts while developing social and verbal skills. Encourage your child to play house, doctor, zoo, farm, space station, school, or store.</li><li>Verbal activities: From rhymes to riddles (check our rhymes and riddles content to get you started), silly sounds to phonics, games such as "I Spy" (and many more activities on our app), verbal interactive activities can inspire and nurture creative minds.</li><li>Encourage art activities: Through painting, sculpture, collage, clay, drawing or any other medium, art is a way for children to work through emotions, make decisions, and express their ideas.</li><li>Ask open-ended and thought-provoking questions: Asking questions that provoke imaginative and creative thinking is an effective way to invite your child to express his/her ideas and share his/her visions. "What do you think would happen if….?" "What's the difference between a dog and a cat?" "What are some other ways to do this?" are a few questions to get you started.</li><li>Limit screen time: Nurturing imagination and parenting in the digital age can be tough. Focusing on a screen is a passive way of learning for children. Engaging children in a kinesthetic manner using their entire bodies and their five senses helps in deep learning and also opens up their minds.</li><li>Remember to allow for downtime: Unstructured, unscheduled time allows children opportunities to imagine and create.</li><li>Limit electronic toys: Electronic toys don’t engage a child’s imagination and so children are simply better off playing with a basic wooden toy.</li><li>Ask questions about their creations: Kids have their own thought processes, and we can’t always see what they are thinking just by looking at something they’ve made. Ask them what they have created to help them articulate their process and the ideas behind what they thought of creating and what they ended up creating.</li><li>Respect: Respecting that each child has the right to be himself/herself and believing in his/her uniqueness builds your child’s confidence. Respect his/her imagination and fantasies.</li><li>Base on Values Not Rules: Too many rules hinder creativity. If you let your children decide their behaviour according to those values, creativity will flourish.</li></ol> Here are some examples of comments that nurture the creative environment:<ul><li>“It’s fun to try it different ways”</li><li>“Tell me about it”</li><li>“Let’s try it anyway”</li><li>“Have you thought of any alternatives?”</li><li>“I see you are having a lot of fun”</li></ul>

Creativity is at the epicentre of human exploration and discovery. Being creative helps children to look within themselves, take a pause and helps them to calm down.

Nurturing your child's Creativity

Being creative helps a child take a pause from the constant running about of life and makes them feel relaxed.

Nurturing your childs Creativity

It's time to get creative and know that your children will remember the fun, no matter what you end up doing.&nbsp; <ul><li>Balloon Balloon:</li></ul>Kids love balloons so wake them to lots of balloons. Stand over the bed and shower them with a laundry basket full of balloons and pieces of curled ribbon. Or scatter balloons in their room after they've fallen asleep the night before so they wake up to a sea of colour.<img src="https://bee-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com/image/birthday-balloons-in-room-2.jpg_image_1637134022133.jpg" width="309" style="cursor: nesw-resize;"> <ul><li>Make a Paper Crown:</li></ul>Decorative paper, scissors, and a small piece of tape are all you need to craft a cute crown for your birthday king or queen. Sticking with the royal theme, let your child choose a title or name they'd like to be called for the day.<img src="https://bee-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com/image/papercrown-main.jpg_image_1637134039436.jpg" width="310" style=""> <ul><li>Dress in their Favourite Colour:</li></ul>Favourite colours are a big deal to kids. The whole family dressing in their favourite colour is a beautiful sight to smile for them.<img src="https://bee-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com/image/photo-1511348547654-09ef00c65feb.jfif_image_1637142205348.jfif" width="312" style=""> <ul><li>Let them Decorate the Cake:</li></ul>Make a cake or buy one and allow your child to do the decoration. They can include their older siblings and do the teamwork. Provide them with chocolate chips, icing sugar, colourful gems, whipped cream. They would enjoy it so much.<img src="https://bee-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com/image/toddler-decorating-cake.jpg_image_1637134398150.jpg" width="313" style=""> <ul><li>Treasure Hunt:</li></ul>Play treasure hunt with them. You can hide their gifts in different places and leave clues for them to search for it. It's always fun to figure out riddles and clues.<img src="https://bee-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com/image/1155287281-1024x700.jpg_image_1637134817639.jpg" width="312" style=""> <ul><li>Watch their Favourite Movie:</li></ul>Kids love to watch their favourite movie again and again. Fix some time and all the family and friends&nbsp;can have a small get-together followed by a movie night. You all can book a mini theatre and have more fun.<img src="https://bee-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com/image/homes_outdoor_theaters_02474.jpg-df9a7-1226x0-c-default.jpg_image_1637135064640.jpg" width="313"><ul><li>Size Them Up:</li></ul>Each year, mark their height on the wall, take their hand-prints or take a photo in the same spot so you can see how much they grow and change each year.<img src="https://bee-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com/image/74e1c2f084a4a242417979fab7d0f59a.jpg_image_1637138211985.jpg" width="105" style=""><img src="https://bee-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com/image/img_1974.jpg_image_1637138084741.jpg" width="212" style=""> <ul><li>Gift Hamper:</li></ul>Give a birthday gift hamper with all the little things the child has ever asked for once in a while, like some small toy, pencil, stopwatch, globe or some book of their favourite character. Sometimes picking up little things they told you once makes them happier and they feel heard and very special.<img src="https://bee-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com/image/adobestock_85273473.jpeg_image_1637141848847.jpeg" width="309" style=""><ul><li>Decorate with Pictures:</li></ul>Fill a wall or a sheet of poster board with some of your favourite photos of the birthday kid from birth to present day, or just from the past year.<img src="https://bee-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com/image/birthday-party-decoration-500x500.jpeg_image_1637138745386.jpeg" width="307" style=""><ul><li>Write and Give Letters:</li></ul>Write an annual birthday letter to your child highlighting special moments and milestones from the year. You can also write letters to your child throughout the year and gift them together on his birthday. The letters may have funny interesting incidents and events. There are so many fun things you can do together with your child to make their birthday special. And enjoy to the fullest.<img src="https://bee-assets-production.s3.amazonaws.com/image/1200-173940516-child-giving-card.jpg_image_1637139010443.jpg" width="306"> Shower them with lots and lots of Love.

It's time to get creative and know that your children will remember the fun, no matter what you end up doing. Start with creative decorations, balloons, gifts, cake designs, and party games.

Creative Birthday Celebration Ideas for Children

Your child's birthday is special not just for your child but for you as well. Try keeping it minimal but yet full of memories.﻿

Before guiding your child towards the spiritual path, accept it in your life first. Children can feel when parents fake something. So it is important to be completely true to what you believe in before nurturing your child’s spiritual side. Developing spirituality is a lifelong journey towards self-discovery. What is spirituality?The dictionary defines it as being concerned about the human soul and spirit as opposed to physical and material things. It does not matter in which religion you believe. It is important to believe in the energy that is greater than us. Spirituality is developing life values like gratitude, compassion, sharing, acceptance, faith, etc. Being spiritual is respecting life, respecting the rights of others, and appreciating the environment. For example, teaching ‘sharing’ to children is important; be it sharing their toys with other children or sharing their time and energy with elderly people. It is important to let our children know how these actions make other people feel good. Not to mention when we help others, we are truly helping ourselves. Spiritual kids are happier and healthier and have a better sense of values and morals.Spiritual well being leads to fewer chances of anxiety and depressive symptoms. Spiritual well being also leads to emotional well being in children. There is no particular age when you can start instilling spirituality in your children. You can teach your babies and toddlers too. At this age, they might not understand it mentally but they will feel the energies, vibrations, and love and will know that this is a state of being. Here are a few ways to nurture your child spiritually:<ol><li>Set an intention:&nbsp;First thing in the morning have everyone in your family set their intention for the day. Have your children state their intention, for example, their intention for the day could be something like: I intend to be mindful in school today, or I intend to have a happy day.&nbsp;At the end of the day, ask them if their day turned out as they intended it to. If not, ask them where it went off track and what they could have done differently.</li><li>Gratitude journal: Make it a habit that everyone in the family writes down at least one thing they are grateful for every day in the evening. It can be anything from being happy for being alive to thanking another family member for something they have done for them. Alternatively, if you as a family eat dinner together, have everyone at the dinner table state what they are grateful for.</li><li>Guided visualisation: Children are visual learners so guided visualisations or meditations work great. Guided visualisations can create healthily, thought-provoking images to transform negativity into positive affirmations. Guided visualisations provide relief from stress and anxiety, decrease panic attacks, boost self-esteem, and provides opportunities for children to connect with themselves on deeper levels. Guided visualisations are best to use before bed so as to calm your baby down and put them in the space to have good dreams.</li><li>Martial Arts:&nbsp;As odd as this sounds, martial arts actually emphasises self-control, respect, and compassion. Apart from teaching self-control and discipline, martial arts boosts self-esteem and confidence, it provides a tool to channel anger. It is also a great exercise</li><li>Yoga:&nbsp;Yoga brings about inner peace, is a good way to increase children’s awareness of their own bodies, aids their sense of balance. It also reduces stress and lowers anxiety levels in children.</li><li>Arts and Crafts:&nbsp;Arts and crafts provide children with the opportunity of being creative and use their imagination. Hence, art and craft is great way to explore spirituality. Art also helps children in expressing their deepest feelings for which they don’t have the words to say out loud. Children tell the truth through their art.</li><li>Explore nature: Exploring nature helps in self-discovery. You can teach several aspects of life using the elements of nature. For example, you can teach your children about transformation by talking about butterflies; teach them about the interconnectedness of life by talking about ecosystems while hiking in the forest; teach them about conservation by picking up trash wherever you are; take them for stargazing. There are endless ways to teach children about the universe and its place in it through the exploration of nature.</li><li>Community Service: Volunteering for a community service project can provide children with a broader understanding of how they fit in the world. It helps them develop compassion and empathy for others and find gratitude that their own circumstances are different from others.</li><li>Encourage your child to share his or her dreams with you: By showing a genuine interest in your child’s dreams, the child will learn to value them. Encouragement to share will build their self-confidence and in turn create an optimistic and cheerful approach to life. By encouraging a child to share aspirations we are ultimately supporting them in believing and achieving them.</li><li>Listen to your child with full attention and concentration: When children try to communicate but aren’t heard and honoured, they try to guard their feelings over time and keep to themselves most of the time. Take time out to sit and listen to your child’s joys, achievements, frustrations, and dreams.</li></ol>

Children can feel when parents fake something. So it is important to be completely true to what you believe in before nurturing your child’s spiritual side. 

Nurturing your child's Spirituality

Spirituality keeps one grounded and helps an individual live an emotionally and mentally content life.

Nurturing your childs Spirituality

Palak Vyas

In this techno savvy and fast-paced world, it becomes difficult to get our children out of screen time and make sure that they spend some quality time with their grandparents. This is required to build warm and loving bonds in the family. Ultimately it is our relationships and family bonding that matters in life. Tips to increase closeness between your child and their grandparents: <ul><li>Let your child talk to his grandparents. In case they are not staying around, make sure your child talks to them over regular calls. The more they talk, the more they bond. This way they will get to know each other well.</li><li>If it is possible, take them to their grandparents’ place often and allow them some quality time.</li><li>You can plan a dinner date for your child and their grandparents. They can visit libraries or parks or some art exhibition together.</li><li>You can ask your parents to narrate their life stories to your children.</li><li>Your child and his/her grandparents can cook some dishes together.</li><li>A perfect picture is also a good option. Ask them to go to a picture studio and get clicked. Get this picture framed and hang it in their room.</li><li>They can read books to each other. Play chess and some vintage games like snakes and ladders, ludo, carrom etc.</li><li>Eventually, they will develop a beautiful bond and will be sharing stories soon.</li></ul>

Many families observe that children don't want to spend time with their grandparents. This can be improved with a few steps.

Making children spend time with grandparents

Ravina Sewani

Parenting is a huge responsibility. And conflicts between you and your spouse due to different parenting styles is bound to happen because you will not agree on everything 100% all the time. The important thing here is to resolve the conflict and look past it and take the steps which are best for your child(ren). You and your spouse need to be on the same page and not be rigid and think, “My way is right. Your way is wrong.” A person’s parenting style is influenced by the way they were parented, their hopes, fears, and expectations from their child(ren), gender roles, cultural background, community, religion, politics, and socioeconomic status. Hence, it is a given fact that you and your spouse will have parenting style conflicts because you both were parented in a different way.Parenting conflicts also leaves children clueless as to what is expected out of them and how they are supposed to behave. Resolving the conflict:<ul><li>Inconsistency</li></ul>Both the parents have different rules and expectations for their child’s discipline, their routine, and their choices. Mom might say that a child cannot watch TV until the homework is done but dad might be completely okay with that. Because of such conflicts and inconsistencies, one parent inevitably undermines the authority of the other. Children are smart to catch up on your inconsistencies and will begin to either manipulate either of the parents for their good or will have more behavioural problems in future. Resolving this problem requires you and your spouse to be completely honest with each other about what your rules and expectations are. Write them down, review them and be sure they are workable. In areas in which you differ, find a compromise that you both can live with - and stick by it.<ul><li>Confusion</li></ul>Putting off the important discussions and decisions about matters like how much freedom is appropriate for the child, leaves the child puzzled and stressed as to what is expected of them. You and your spouse need to communicate about what is acceptable and what is not. You need to take the decisions and let your child(ren) know so that a child knows how to behave in the family.<ul><li>Competition</li></ul>It’s not only kids who feel that their parents love the other one more. Sometimes the tables turn, and there’s a rivalry between parents over their children’s attention and love. Children get stuck sometimes when the father wants to do something with the children (eg. go for fishing) and the mother wants them to do something else (eg. to tidy up the house). In such situations, children have to choose one over the other even if they don’t want to. To resolve this, parents need to find ways to be cooperative, not competitive, with each other. This doesn't mean that you have to agree or compromise on everything; but that you need to go with what’s the best for the child and the family as a whole. Sometimes the father can let go and the mother can do the same.<ul><li>Overt Conflict</li></ul>When parents have arguments over what’s right for their child(ren) and cannot come to a conclusion, one parent eventually gives in. This is not healthy as the parents at some later time are bound to have arguments over something else and this time, the arguments might heat up because of a previously unresolved issue. To resolve this, parents need to learn the skills of conflict resolution. These include:ListeningClarifying points of differenceTaking each other's feelings seriouslyGenerating alternative solutions togetherNegotiating<ul><li>Back Each Other Up</li></ul>Always present yourself as a team in front of your child(ren). Make it a rule that if one parent disciplines a child, the other parent must back it up, even if the other parent disagrees with the punishment. Later, when things are calm, you and your spouse can discuss alternate ways of handling things in private. If you don’t back each other up, your child will undermine your authority as parents. Every time you argue with your spouse over parenting, the focus shifts away from where it should be—your child’s behaviour.<ul><li>Go with the Gut</li></ul>When you and your spouse disagree on an issue and you can’t seem to find a compromise, then try to defer to the parent who feels more strongly about it. When one of the parent has a very strong positive/negative feeling about a child’s matter, the other parent should go along and trust the feelings of the other. For examples, you can say, “I feel so strongly about this. I’d like you to support me on this, even if you don’t see it the same way.”<ul><li>Empathise with your child, but don’t undermine your spouse</li></ul>If you don’t agree to what your spouse feels but nonetheless decide to ahead with their decision, never put down your spouse’s decision while siding with the child. For example, when your child wants to have a toy. You are ready but your spouse is not and at the end of the day you go ahead with not buying the toy for your child. This is what you can say to your child, “I know it’s hard for you when we won’t let you buy what you want. But be assured that we have the best interests for you at heart.” Tell your child that this is a joint decision even if behind closed doors, you and your spouse don’t completely agree.<ul><li>Take decisions when things are calm</li></ul>Talk about parenting decisions when you are calm and can listen to one another’s perspective without being angry or sarcastic. Calm makes it is easier for you to discuss things with respect. When the argument heats up, take a time-out and discuss things later. Don’t be hostile while discussing things with your partner. Hostility isn’t just yelling and fighting. Hostility can include sarcasm, dismissive comments, put-downs, subtle threats, and other forms of damaging communication.<ul><li>Understand each other’s family history</li></ul>Everyone is parented and brought up in a different way. This also influences the way we parent children. When you and your spouse don’t agree on something, try and understand what was your spouse’s childhood like, how was your spouse parented. You can tell them about your parenting and childhood as well. This way you will be able to understand why the other way parents in a particular way. This will help you to decide what is the best for your child quickly and without any chaos.<ul><li>Learn about parenting together</li></ul>Read parenting books and discuss them, or join a parenting support group. Select parenting experts you both trust.<ul><li>Accept your mistake</li></ul>Being stubborn and not accepting a mistake you have made and blaming your spouse can make your spouse angry. If you are wrong, be gracious enough to accept it.<ul><li>Forgive your spouse’s mistake</li></ul>If your spouse made a mistake, learn to forgive and forget. Once you have forgiven, don’t ever bring up the issue again. Never bring up past issues as they make things bitter.<ul><li>Get professional help</li></ul>If you feel like you’ve tried everything and are still not able to get on the same page with your spouse, you may need some professional help in the form of a therapist.

Every individual has different thought and opinions hence arguments between parents regarding the parenting of their child(ren) are bound to happen. But that doesn't mean that there's not a way out.

Resolving Parenting Conflict due to different Parenting Styles

It is not very uncommon for mothers to feel depressed after childbirth. This is called 'Postpartum Depression' (PPD).Childbirth is often followed by a jumble of powerful emotions, from excitement and fear to anxiety and difficulty in making decisions. Most new mums experience “baby blues” which include mood swings, crying spells, anxiety, and difficulty sleeping. But some moms experience a more severe form of depression known as postpartum depression (PPD).&nbsp;While baby blues are short-term, postpartum depression can be long-lasting and can severely affect a woman’s ability to care for herself or for her family. Some of the common symptoms a woman experience during PPD may vary, and they can range from mild to severe:<ul><li>Feeling sad, empty, and hopeless</li><li>Excessive crying</li><li>Difficulty bonding with your partner or baby</li><li>Withdrawing from social life</li><li>Loss of appetite or eating too much</li><li>Not being able to take care of yourself or the baby</li><li>Inability to sleep (insomnia) or oversleeping</li><li>Having trouble concentrating or make decisions</li><li>Frequent headaches</li><li>Losing interest in activities you used to enjoy</li><li>Intense irritability and anger</li><li>Thoughts of harming your baby</li><li>Suicidal thoughts</li><li>Doubting that you're not a good mother</li><li>Feelings of guilt and worthlessness</li><li>Restlessness</li><li>Severe anxiety and panic attacks</li></ul> Reasons of PPD in women:<ul><li>physical changes of pregnancy</li><li>excessive worry about the baby and the responsibilities of being a parent</li><li>a complicated labour and childbirth</li><li>lack of family support</li><li>financial difficulties</li><li>loneliness, not having close friends and family around</li><li>a history of mental health problems</li><li>hormonal changes, due to a sudden and severe drop in oestrogen and progesterone levels following birth</li><li>changes to the sleep cycle</li></ul> Diagnosis:Your mental healthcare provider will ask you to fill up a depression-screening questionnaire to confirm whether you have depression or not. Following are a few ways which you can follow to take care of your stress and emotions:<ol><li>Work on building stronger bond between you and your partner. Understand her needs and desires and talk about your own too. Feel free to express in front of your partner or family or friends.</li><li>Develop a support team from your family. Ask for help. Say YES when they offer.</li><li>Take time for yourself. Have some “me-time” either watching TV, going for a movie or taking a short break from work and spending time doing things you like.</li><li>Talk to other families who have experienced the same.</li><li>Spend time with your baby to develop your own confidence.</li></ol> Treatment:<ul><li>Talk Therapy: PPD is a severe form of clinical depression. Your psychiatrist might suggest you to see a counsellor who will ask you questions about your life. It is important that you answer them honestly. These sessions will help you gain a different and healthier perspective about things. Therapy is different and personalised for everyone but these are a few topics which you might touch in your sessions: your feelings, your beliefs, your behaviour, your life pre and post birth. There are 2 types of talk therapy:</li></ul><ol><li>Cognitive Behavioural Therapy: You and your counselor work together to identify, then change, thoughts and behaviors that are harmful to your mental health.</li><li>Interpersonal therapy: Your therapist helps you better understand how you behave in your relationships and how to work through any problems.</li></ol> <ul><li>Medicine: Antidepressants are drugs designed to treat depression, including postpartum depression. They work on different chemicals in your brain.</li><li>Self-care: Get more sleep and exercise, eat healthy foods, do fun activities and relax. Doing these things can help to boost your mood.</li></ul>

A parent's mental health is of the top most priority when it comes to parenting. A healthy mental space leads to a happy and healthy bond between a parent and a child.

Postpartum Depression in Mothers

Fatherhood is a biological and an emotional sea of changes. Starting a few months before childbirth, testosterone levels lower as prolactin, vasopressin and other hormones increase rewiring a man’s brain to prepare him for fatherhood. Entire area of man’s brain grows and develops in response to hormonal changes in the first year of a child's life, which allows him to care for a newborn. There is an increased sensitivity to crying, a deeper capacity to bond emotionally and a greater responsiveness to another’s needs. Men and women can experience depression very differently. Symptoms which might indicate poor mental health of a father:<ol><li>Increased anger and conflict with others</li><li>Increased use of alcohol</li><li>Frustration or irritability</li><li>Violent behaviour</li><li>Significant weight gain or loss</li><li>Isolation from family and friends</li><li>Being easily stressed</li><li>Increase in complaints about physical problems, like headaches, digestion problems, fatigue</li><li>Problems with concentration or motivation</li><li>Loss of interest in work, hobbies and/or sex</li><li>Working constantly</li><li>Self doubt</li></ol> Some of the factors that can contribute to depression in new or soon-to-be fathers include:<ol><li>Personal history of depression</li><li>Family history of depression</li><li>Worries about being a parent</li><li>Feeling overwhelmed with expectations in your role at work and your role as a father</li><li>Financial problems</li><li>Lack of social and/or emotional support</li><li>Stress in relationship with family or spouse</li><li>Missing attention and/or sex from partner</li><li>Lack of sleep after the baby is born</li><li>Feeling excluded from the bond between mother and baby</li></ol> Diagnosis:Your mental healthcare professional will ask you to fill up a depression-screening questionnaire to confirm whether you have depression or not. Following are a few ways which you can follow to take care of your stress and emotions:<ol><li>Work on building stronger bond between you and your partner. Understand her needs and desires and talk about your own too. Feel free to express in front of your partner or family or friends.</li><li>Develop a support team from your family. Ask for help. Say YES when they offer.</li><li>Take time for yourself. Have some “me-time” either watching TV, going for a movie or taking a short break from work and spending time doing things you like.</li><li>Talk to other families who have experienced the same.</li><li>Spend time with your baby to develop your own confidence.</li></ol> Treatment:<ul><li>Talk Therapy: PPD is a severe form of clinical depression. Your psychiatrist might suggest you to see a counsellor who will ask you questions about your life. It is important that you answer them honestly. These sessions will help you gain a different and healthier perspective about things. Therapy is different and personalised for everyone but these are a few topics which you might touch in your sessions: your feelings, your beliefs, your behaviour, your life pre and post birth. There are 2 types of talk therapy:</li></ul><ol><li>Cognitive Behavioural Therapy: You and your counselor work together to identify, then change, thoughts and behaviors that are harmful to your mental health.</li><li>Interpersonal therapy: Your therapist helps you better understand how you behave in your relationships and how to work through any problems.</li></ol> <ul><li>Medication: Antidepressants are drugs designed to treat depression, including postpartum depression. They work on different chemicals in your brain.</li><li>Self-care: Get more sleep and exercise, eat healthy foods, do fun activities and relax. Doing these things can help to boost your mood.</li></ul>

Postpartum Depression in Fathers

<ul><li>Well! Actually it is good to have grandparents around in the same house.</li><li>The child feels loved and warm in their company and sometimes they help you&nbsp;check your own destructive behaviour like screaming or yelling on your child.</li><li>But when these grandparents spoil them with loads of toys and sweets and extra permission of watching T.V or playing games, the matter worsens.</li><li>Here the parents, husband and wife, need to come together and stand up for each other. Whenever there is a conflict between the adults in the home, there is always a power struggle which has a bad impact on children.</li><li>Make a conversation with your child. Make him/her sit and explain your child that whatever their grandparents are doing they are doing out of love. But when it comes to making important decisions or making rules for the child it is parents’ responsibility because they are accountable for the child. We don’t have authority over the grandparents but we have on the child as a child is not an adult.</li><li>Make a conversation on this basis. Be calm, have firm tone and Keep repeating.</li><li>You can talk to grandparents and make them realise that this is spoiling your child’s habits in long run but chances are less for them to change.</li><li>Final word is focus on your own parenting instead of changing grandparents. Also accepting the grandparents without any hard feelings will help in nurturing the characteristics of being non judgemental in our kids.</li></ul>

Conflicts between parents and grandparents are bound to happen but this should not affect your baby in any way.

Dealing with overly pampered children by grandparents

To deal with your crankiness, two things can be done here:<ol><li>Ensure your baby has sound sleep during the night.</li><li>Ensure that you are properly rested during the day. (When the baby is young and you have to feed the baby or change the diapers, it is not possible for you to get rest during the day.)</li></ol> The simple rule is if the baby has a sound sleep you can sleep better and if you sleep better at night, you wake up better- energetic and bright. Steps you can take so that the baby/child sleeps better at night:<ul><li>Make a sleeping ritual. If the baby is too young (infant), you can simply sing a lullaby, make it a point to sing the same song and use it like your sleep song or you can play the same sleep music each night.</li><li>For a baby who is above a year, you can make a sleeping sequence like brushing teeth, bath time, changing nightwear, reading books, lights out, sleep.</li><li>For a child who is above 3 years, you can have a bedtime conversation each night before reading a book. Ask your child about their day at school, tell them your routine and make it an interesting conversation. Tell them stories or read a book, change into pyjamas, brush teeth and go to bed.</li><li>Turn off all screens 1 or 2 hours before bed.</li><li>Train your baby and associate bed and bedroom to deep sleep and relaxation time.</li><li>Even after this, if you find your child is unable to sleep properly at night for days and weeks together, it is better to see a paediatrician or a sleep specialist.</li></ul> Steps to take a rest in between sleepless nights and cranky days<ul><li>Make time for yourself during the day. When the baby sleeps during the day, you go and sleep instead of running for pending chores.</li><li>Create a nice space in your house, cosy and comfy and perfect for you to relax.</li><li>Ask help from friends, family or your spouse to watch over the baby till you take a nap.</li><li>Take turns with your partner at night and even during the day so both of you feel rested.</li><li>But with little kids around it is always difficult to sleep at night so just keep patience, once they grow up you will be alright. Try and cope with it.</li></ul>

Mothers tend to get cranky during the day because it is difficult for them to get sound sleep with the little one around.

Mother's cranky behaviour due to less sleep

Conflicts between parents and grandparents are bound to happen for pampering a child but this should not affect your baby in any way. 

How to stop grand parents from pampering my child

Conflicts between parenting and grand-parenting can be resolved by proper communication. Read the article to know more.

my child is pampered by grand parents, what to do