A few things said in haste messes up a child's brain and have a considerable impact psychologically, like low self-confidence, self-doubt, anxiety, depression, and so much more. Throughout your parenting journey, make sure you are not saying things or acting out in a way that could damage your child(ren) mentally. Sometimes parents are not aware that their actions affect their child(ren) negatively, and sometimes parents overlook it and justify their bad behaviour due to their stress. Here are a few practices which you should avoid telling your child(ren): Pick these up right now. I don't want you leaving a mess like that again.Instead, say:&nbsp;I don't like this mess you are leaving. Can you please clean this up when you have time? You should know better.Instead, say:&nbsp;It's OK not to know some things. Here, I will help you out. You're a bad kid.Instead, say:&nbsp;Can you tell me why you behaved/acted in such a way? I feel it wasn't right, is there anything you want to talk about? Or Else.&nbsp;Example: Eat dinner, or else you won't get your dessert.Instead, say:&nbsp;How about you take a healthy dinner quickly so that we can all enjoy dessert together?&nbsp; Stop being shy.Instead, say:&nbsp;You can come to say hi to your aunt when you are ready. You should set a good example for your brother.Instead, say:&nbsp;Your brother looks up to you; you're such a good role model. Wait until your father/mother gets home.Instead, say:&nbsp;You're grounded because you said a bad word. I will never forgive you.Instead, say:&nbsp;What you did was not acceptable, but we can look past it and move on if you think the next time. I'm ashamed of you.Instead, say:&nbsp;Although I feel bad about what you did, I love you for who you are. Don't worry; everything will be OK.Instead, say:&nbsp;Mom and Dad are always nearby, and we're going to set up a plan in case of emergency. Here, I'll do it.Instead, say:&nbsp;Let's do it together!" Don't cryInstead, say:&nbsp;I know you're sad, and it's OK to cry. It's OK to let out your emotions. Let me hug you. If you don't clean your room, you're going to be in big trouble.Instead, say:&nbsp;When your room is clean, then you may go out to play. Family finances aren't your business.Instead, say:&nbsp;Finances are how we make and manage money, and when you like, we will teach you what we know. I'm disappointed in you.Instead, say:&nbsp;I'm surprised and was not expecting this to occur. Come here, NOW.Instead, say:&nbsp;It's almost time to go. Do you want one minute or two? Because I said so.Instead, say:&nbsp;Explaining why you feel a certain way about something. We can't afford that.Instead, say:&nbsp;We're not going to buy that because we're saving our money for more important things. Don't talk to strangers.Instead, say:&nbsp;What would you do if a man you don't know offers you candy and a ride home? OR If anyone makes you feel sad, scared, or confused, you need to tell me right away. You should listen to adults.Instead, say:&nbsp;You need to listen to your parents. Don't be greedy!Instead, say:&nbsp;Would you please be kind and share your toys with your friend? Who taught you this? (about mischief)Instead, say:&nbsp;Why did you do that? Look at this lovely girl.Instead, say:&nbsp;I love you. You can do this too. I do everything for you.Instead, say:&nbsp;We do things for you because we love you, so please do for me. Do I have to tell you this 100 times?Instead, say:&nbsp;I've told you this before, but could you please. That's only for boys/girls.Instead:&nbsp;Say nothing at all. Try your best at raising gender-neutral children. You live under my roof, so you follow my rules.Instead, say:&nbsp;You know the household rules. Please stick to them. That's how I was raised.Instead, say:&nbsp;I don't think it's a good idea to do [ ]. Even my parents used to tell me that [ ]. You're just like your mother/father!Instead say:&nbsp;I’m not happy with [ ] because [ ]. I told you so.Instead, say:&nbsp;I'm sorry to hear about [ ] ... let this be a lesson. It's just a little white lie.Instead, explain to them that it's OK to use white lies to be polite and not hurt someone's feelings. Explain to them the fine line between lies and little white lies. Man up. / Be a man.Never disregard your son's feelings. Don't teach them that showing emotions is weak. To show emotions is only human. Why can't you be more like your sister?Instead, say:&nbsp;I don't quite like this behaviour of yours. Do you think we can work on it? If you loved me, you wouldn't do (this/that).Don't teach them that love needs to be proven all the time. Love comes without ifs and buts. I wish you'd never been born. / I hate you.No matter how angry you are, this is the worst thing to say. You would be scarring your child. Why can't you do anything right?Instead, say: What's the barrier? Is there anything I can help you with? I don't believe you.Instead, say: This comes as a shock for me. But I am sure you can tell me the whole thing. There's nothing to be afraid of.Instead, say:&nbsp;Everyone has their fair share of fears. We appreciate that you shared your feelings with us. We promise we will work on this together. You're lazy/stupid/selfish.Never label your child. Never. Your friends don't do that.Comparison will never bring any positive change. Accept your child for who they are and appreciate them. You should have done better.Praise them for their achievement. Do not over expect. You don't know what you're talking about. / You're too young to know what you want.Often children know what they want or how they feel. Saying this will show your distrust in their feelings. You'll never be able to do that.Instead, encourage and push your child to do better, of course, without any comparison. You're so fat/skinny, or You're going to get fat/skinny.Never attribute a child's identity to their looks. You make me so mad.Calm your anger down, and then talk to your child(ren).&nbsp;Instead, say:&nbsp;We will talk about this after a while when I am in the right state of my mind. Impact of such phrases on children:<ol><li>Antisocial behaviour</li><li>Poor resilience</li><li>Depression</li><li>Aggression</li><li>Lack of empathy</li><li>Difficulty in relationships</li><li>Self-doubt</li><li>Lack of self-confidence</li><li>Anxiety</li></ol>

A few things said in haste messes up a child's brain and have a considerable impact psychologically, like low self-confidence, self-doubt, anxiety and so on

Speaking Gently: Things you should never say to your child

A few things said in haste messes up a child’s brain and have a huge impact psychologically.

Things You Should Never Say to Your Child

Following are a few tips to keep in mind while you babyproof the house: <ol><li>Keep the bathrooms locked at all times.</li><li>Lock and hasp on doors in rooms and bathrooms should be shifted up (at the height of an adult’s head).</li><li>Keep the cribs at the lowest height because as children advance developmentally, they tend to launch themselves out of the crib.</li><li>Change the positions of electrical boards, keep them high so that they are out of a child’s reach.</li><li>Check the sharp corners and cover them with soft rubber. Stick rubber cover at the corners of kitchen tables, beds, dining tables and TV units.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</li><li>If you are living in a double storied house, fix a small door on the staircase. This will ensure the baby doesn't crawl and climb up.</li><li>If the child is using a walker make sure there is no bump or slope on the floor.</li><li>Keep the heavy objects, sharp objects, glass objects and such hazardous objects out of reach of the child.</li><li>Keep the use of rugs at a minimum as children tend to slip because of them. If you do use rugs, put non-slip pads beneath them.</li><li>Unplug all electrical appliances when not in use.</li><li>Put all the sharp objects of the kitchen in cupboards.</li><li>Remove table cloths if any.</li><li>Install safety guards on windows and doors.</li><li>Make sure there's no water spilt anywhere in the house.</li><li>Do not paint or renovate the house immediately after the baby arrives home. The chemicals are harmful to the baby. Wait a few years and then make the required changes.</li></ol>

Children are curious by nature and they will explore everything you have in the house. So it's better to keep a check on all the things you have in the house before the baby arrives.

How to baby proof your house: 15 baby proofing tips 

Children are curious by nature and they will explore everything you have in the house. So it's better to keep a check on all the things you have in the house before the baby arrives.

15 Tips to baby proof your house

The following tips will help you manage your twins/triplets efficiently: <ul><li>Stick to a schedule</li></ul>Maintain a common schedule for the children. If one wakes up from a nap, wake up the other. If one is hungry and wants to eat, feed the other child as well. Scheduling both the children together will keep you sane and help you get proper sleep as well. <ul><li>Feed at the same time</li></ul>It is important to learn to breastfeed both babies at the same time. If you are feeding on the bottles, it is easier to have two spots to seat them. Breastfeed or bottle-feed, prepare ahead of the feed (a breastfeeding pillow, bottles, burp cloths, pumped breastmilk or formula and a snack for yourself). After feeding, burp the babies one by one. By the time the second (or third) baby has been fed, burped, and changed, the first one's often hungry - and the cycle begins all over again. In the beginning, breastfeeding two babies at the same time can be difficult. It is best to consult a lactation nurse on the days when you are still in the hospital. A nurse will help you try different breastfeeding positions so by the time you are home with your kids, you can apply the one that suits you and your child the best. When one of the babies wakes up to be fed in the middle of the night, wake up the other one after you're done with the first baby. It's hard to wake a sleeping baby, but if you don't, you will be constantly tending to babies and not getting any sleep. <ul><li>Bath twice</li></ul>Bathe your babies turn by turn. If you have an infant chair, put one of your babies in the chair beside you while you bathe the other child. When you are done with one baby, switch the places. Bath seats are also available in the market; these seats make the bathing process easier. <ul><li>Know who is who</li></ul>In the early days of twin parenting, it is natural to mix up your babies. You can dab a dot of nail polish on one of your baby's toes or fingers to avoid confusion. You can tie a wristband to one of your babies. See what works the best for you. <ul><li>Crying times two</li></ul>More often than not, both of your babies will cry at the same time. It is difficult to find out what soothes your babies. What works for one might not work for the other. Figure out if cuddling, cradling, singing, caressing works for your babies or not. <ul><li>Share the duties</li></ul>Ask for help; it can be difficult but ask away. It will be for your own peace. Delegate your tasks to your spouse or your other family members. You can hire a caretaker as well for some time till you figure out how to go about twin parenting. Delegating your tasks will give you time to bond with your babies. Communication is the key; if you feel one parent is taking up more responsibilities, talk it out. <ul><li>Preparing your house for your babies</li></ul>Baby proof your house in every possible way. Set up a changing station including diapers, wipes, and extra baby clothes. If you have a house with more levels, make sure to arrange changing stations, baby chairs at all levels. That way you can avoid running up and down the stairs every time one of the babies spits up or needs to be changed. <ul><li>Bond with your Babies</li></ul>It might take you more time to bond with your babies compared to parents of singletons. Most of your time will be eaten up in fulfilling your babies' needs. But the more time you spend with your babies, the more you will know them and connect with them. <ul><li>Celebrate their individuality</li></ul>It's important to treat your babies as individuals so that they begin to see themselves that way too. Refer to them by their names rather than as "the twins," and as they get older, make sure they have their own clothes and special toys. <ul><li>Plan quality time individually</li></ul>Plan quality time separately for your babies. Sit and talk to them, read a book, or play a game with your babies. The goal is to give each child life experiences that are fun and appropriate for them. Twins are very dependent upon each other in the early years. Spending some time apart will help them develop separate identities and help them understand their likes and dislikes. <ul><li>Respect your children</li></ul>Every child has different needs hence it is important to cater to their individual needs than being fair when raising twins. It is okay if you don't buy the same gifts or clothes for your twins or treat them in the same manner. Respecting the similarities and differences of each child fosters a real and healthy sense of self. <ul><li>Consider possessions &amp; twin identity</li></ul>Possessions help children form a sense of identity. Some separate clothes, toys, books, blankets, etc. reinforce separateness and ownership. Each child needs some possessions that do not have to be shared. This can be achieved by giving each child a special cupboard or space on a shelf. <ul><li>Be cautious about making comparisons.</li></ul>The comparison comes naturally to parents, knowingly or unknowingly. With twins, it becomes even more tempting to do so. Every child develops at their own pace hence it is best not to compare twins. Comparisons easily discourage a child or create a situation where (s)he feels less smart, capable, attractive or loved. What to invest in and what to save on?Babies Can Share:<ul><li>Changing table</li><li>Playpen or portable crib</li><li>Baby bathtub</li><li>Nursing pillow</li><li>Breast pump</li><li>Baby monitor</li><li>Double or triple stroller</li><li>Stationary activity centre</li><li>Activity mat</li></ul> Separate Baby Needs:<ul><li>Car seat</li><li>Infant seat</li><li>Bassinet</li><li>Crib</li><li>Swing</li><li>Diaper bag</li><li>High chair</li><li>Front carrier</li></ul>

It can be a little tricky to raise twins or triplets. But with time, you sure will figure out everything. The following tips will help you manage your twins efficiently.

Parenting hacks by experts on raising twins

It can be a little tricky to raise twins or triplets. But with time, you sure will figure out everything.

“There is no gift a parent can give his child that is better than good manners.”“Respect your children and talk to them with good manners and a likeable method.”"Whoever wishes that his children are safe from disinheritance, he should help them perform good deeds.”“The best gift from parents to their children is education and upbringing.”&nbsp;“Play with them for the first seven years of their life; then teach them for the next seven years; then advise them for the next seven years.”&nbsp;“May Allāh have mercy on the person that helps his child in doing good.”&nbsp;&nbsp;“Love children and be kind to them."&nbsp;“Treat your children fairly, treat your children fairly.”&nbsp;&nbsp;"The best thing a father provides to his child is good manners and ethical training.”&nbsp;&nbsp;“May Allah bless the parents who trained their children to behave justly with them."&nbsp;“Kiss your children profusely, because every time you kiss the child, Allah will advance your position in Heaven by one stage."&nbsp;“Maintain justice among your children in gifts, just like you would like them to be just with you in goodness and affection.”&nbsp;“Like your children and treat them with affection and kindness. When you make a promise to them, you must keep it, because children consider you their sustainer.”&nbsp;“Respect your children and give them a good upbringing that Allah blesses you."&nbsp;“Anybody who called a child, saying that he would give him a certain thing, and did not give it, speaks a lie.”&nbsp;&nbsp;“Never beat the children if they cry. Fulfil their needs. Because, for the first four months of the life of a child’, its cries are a witness to the Existence and Unity of Allah, Almighty."

Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) Hadiths On Parent-Child Relationship. The most basic and necessary manners that teach us how to raise a child. 

Prophet Muhammad Hadiths On Parent-Child Relationship Part 1

Parent-child Relationship is one of the things that is the most sacred thing in the world. Hadiths by Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) related to this beautiful relationship will tell us its importance.

Prophet Muhammad Hadiths On Parent Child Relationship Part 1

<ul><li>Make sure to get your child fully checked before the winter starts.</li><li>Make sure that all heating appliances like geysers &amp; heaters are in working condition.</li><li>Adequate warm clothing is essential but makes sure to NOT over-dress your baby as it can be extremely uncomfortable for him/her. Several thin layers will keep them dry and warm. Always remember to make them warm boots, gloves or mittens, and a hat. The rule of thumb for older babies and young children is to dress them in one more layer of clothing than an adult would wear in the same conditions.</li><li>Give warm water baths to your child. Make sure that there is a balance between the bathroom and the bedroom temperature so that your child does not get uncomfortable after the bath.</li><li>There should be no gusts of cold winds when you are bathing your baby.</li><li>Give adequate necessary vitamins and nutrients essential for proper growth to your child.</li><li>When riding/travelling in a car, make them wear thin, snug layers rather than thick, bulky coats or snowsuits.</li><li>Use sleep clothing for babies like warm one-piece sleepers or wearable blankets instead of loose bedding like blankets, quilts, pillows, bumpers, and sheepskins as they are a cause of suffocating deaths.</li><li>If a blanket must be used to keep a sleeping infant warm, it should be thin and tucked under the crib mattress, reaching only as far as the baby's chest.</li><li>Prevent cold and flu by getting kids to:</li></ul>-Use soap and water: Washing their hands frequently will reduce the spread of germs.-Cover their mouth: Sneezing or coughing into the bend of their elbows also helps prevent the spreading of germs.-Get immunised: Keep vaccinations current, including the flu shot.<ul><li>Include soup in your baby’s diet. A healthy soup in cold weather will keep your baby warm.</li><li>Maintain your own hygiene: Make sure to wash and sanitise your hands before you attend to your baby every time. You need to stay healthy so that your child does not catch any infections because of you.</li><li>Use a Humidifier: When using a heating apparatus during winters it could rob the room of water vapour, making the air dry as well as your child’s skin. Hence, install a humidifier in the room so that the moisture levels are maintained.</li><li>Make use of a moisturiser for your baby as your little one's skin will be extremely sensitive and the harsh atmosphere of the winter can make it dry. Opt for skin creams or moisturisers that are made for the baby’s skin.</li><li>Protect your child from hypothermia. Hypothermia develops when a child's temperature falls below normal due to exposure to colder temperatures. As hypothermia sets in, the child may shiver and become lethargic and clumsy.&nbsp;Speech may become slurred.</li><li>If you suspect your child is hypothermic, call for an emergency at once. Until help arrives, take the child indoors, remove any wet clothing, and wrap him/her in blankets or warm clothes.</li><li>Another thing to keep your baby safe from is frostbite. Frostbite happens when the skin and outer tissues become frozen.&nbsp;This condition tends to happen on extremities like the fingers, toes, ears and nose.&nbsp;They may become pale, grey and blistered. At the same time, the child may complain that his/her skin burns or has become numb.</li><li>If you suspect frostbite, bring the child indoors and place the frostbite parts of his/her body in warm (not hot) water. Warm washcloths may be applied to frostbitten noses, ears and lips. Do not rub the frozen areas. After a few minutes, dry and cover the child with clothing or blankets. Give him/her something warm to drink. If the numbness continues for more than a few minutes, call your doctor.</li></ul>

Taking the right precautionary steps before the arrival of any season will keep your baby safe and healthy.

Winter Precautions for Babies

Taking the right precautionary steps before the arrival of any season will keep your baby safe and healthy.

Precautions for Babies During the Winter Season

Samiksha Choithani

<ul><li>Being a parent if you are keen to prepare your child for natural disasters, it is great!! Such occurrences are stressful and traumatic. Most of the events are such that we tend to forget a lot of things and sometimes even children or little negligence can have a significant impact on the lives of little ones. Hence, it is pertinent to prepare them for natural disasters and its after effects.</li><li>Plan in advance: National Climate Departments usually inform before the natural calamity is about to occur, which gives enough time to prepare for the calamity. Create an emergency plan with the family – like keeping a bag stuffed with salt, passport and first aid ready. It can be anything that is essential for survival, keep it ready and train your child to pick it in case of a natural disaster.</li><li>Train them to be safe: If you are living in a flat or an apartment, train your children to use the staircase in case of fire or earthquake. In case of earthquake train them to hide below a wooden table instead of jumping from the window or running around.</li><li>Stay near your kids: If you are informed about the natural calamity, keep your children around.&nbsp;Children get insecure about being left alone and getting separated from their parents/family. During natural disaster and after that, try to keep your children physically close to you.</li><li>Read about Natural Disasters: Even if the national agencies do not inform, you can prepare your child for natural disasters by reading books that explain about natural disasters and dealing with them.</li><li>Patience is a must: If you are affected by the natural disaster, try to be sensitive with your children. Instead of getting impatient about the situation, talk to them for a while as they too are into a trauma and need your help to come out of it.</li></ul>

Natural disasters affect one and all. It is advisable to be best prepared.

natural disaster parenting concerns

Parenting issues are a part of the everyday parenting journey. Following article(s) might help you with your concern(s).

Emergency situation with children: Natural disaster

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