A few things said in haste messes up a child's brain and have a considerable impact psychologically, like low self-confidence, self-doubt, anxiety, depression, and so much more. Throughout your parenting journey, make sure you are not saying things or acting out in a way that could damage your child(ren) mentally. Sometimes parents are not aware that their actions affect their child(ren) negatively, and sometimes parents overlook it and justify their bad behaviour due to their stress. Here are a few practices which you should avoid telling your child(ren): Pick these up right now. I don't want you leaving a mess like that again.Instead, say:&nbsp;I don't like this mess you are leaving. Can you please clean this up when you have time? You should know better.Instead, say:&nbsp;It's OK not to know some things. Here, I will help you out. You're a bad kid.Instead, say:&nbsp;Can you tell me why you behaved/acted in such a way? I feel it wasn't right, is there anything you want to talk about? Or Else.&nbsp;Example: Eat dinner, or else you won't get your dessert.Instead, say:&nbsp;How about you take a healthy dinner quickly so that we can all enjoy dessert together?&nbsp; Stop being shy.Instead, say:&nbsp;You can come to say hi to your aunt when you are ready. You should set a good example for your brother.Instead, say:&nbsp;Your brother looks up to you; you're such a good role model. Wait until your father/mother gets home.Instead, say:&nbsp;You're grounded because you said a bad word. I will never forgive you.Instead, say:&nbsp;What you did was not acceptable, but we can look past it and move on if you think the next time. I'm ashamed of you.Instead, say:&nbsp;Although I feel bad about what you did, I love you for who you are. Don't worry; everything will be OK.Instead, say:&nbsp;Mom and Dad are always nearby, and we're going to set up a plan in case of emergency. Here, I'll do it.Instead, say:&nbsp;Let's do it together!" Don't cryInstead, say:&nbsp;I know you're sad, and it's OK to cry. It's OK to let out your emotions. Let me hug you. If you don't clean your room, you're going to be in big trouble.Instead, say:&nbsp;When your room is clean, then you may go out to play. Family finances aren't your business.Instead, say:&nbsp;Finances are how we make and manage money, and when you like, we will teach you what we know. I'm disappointed in you.Instead, say:&nbsp;I'm surprised and was not expecting this to occur. Come here, NOW.Instead, say:&nbsp;It's almost time to go. Do you want one minute or two? Because I said so.Instead, say:&nbsp;Explaining why you feel a certain way about something. We can't afford that.Instead, say:&nbsp;We're not going to buy that because we're saving our money for more important things. Don't talk to strangers.Instead, say:&nbsp;What would you do if a man you don't know offers you candy and a ride home? OR If anyone makes you feel sad, scared, or confused, you need to tell me right away. You should listen to adults.Instead, say:&nbsp;You need to listen to your parents. Don't be greedy!Instead, say:&nbsp;Would you please be kind and share your toys with your friend? Who taught you this? (about mischief)Instead, say:&nbsp;Why did you do that? Look at this lovely girl.Instead, say:&nbsp;I love you. You can do this too. I do everything for you.Instead, say:&nbsp;We do things for you because we love you, so please do for me. Do I have to tell you this 100 times?Instead, say:&nbsp;I've told you this before, but could you please. That's only for boys/girls.Instead:&nbsp;Say nothing at all. Try your best at raising gender-neutral children. You live under my roof, so you follow my rules.Instead, say:&nbsp;You know the household rules. Please stick to them. That's how I was raised.Instead, say:&nbsp;I don't think it's a good idea to do [ ]. Even my parents used to tell me that [ ]. You're just like your mother/father!Instead say:&nbsp;I’m not happy with [ ] because [ ]. I told you so.Instead, say:&nbsp;I'm sorry to hear about [ ] ... let this be a lesson. It's just a little white lie.Instead, explain to them that it's OK to use white lies to be polite and not hurt someone's feelings. Explain to them the fine line between lies and little white lies. Man up. / Be a man.Never disregard your son's feelings. Don't teach them that showing emotions is weak. To show emotions is only human. Why can't you be more like your sister?Instead, say:&nbsp;I don't quite like this behaviour of yours. Do you think we can work on it? If you loved me, you wouldn't do (this/that).Don't teach them that love needs to be proven all the time. Love comes without ifs and buts. I wish you'd never been born. / I hate you.No matter how angry you are, this is the worst thing to say. You would be scarring your child. Why can't you do anything right?Instead, say: What's the barrier? Is there anything I can help you with? I don't believe you.Instead, say: This comes as a shock for me. But I am sure you can tell me the whole thing. There's nothing to be afraid of.Instead, say:&nbsp;Everyone has their fair share of fears. We appreciate that you shared your feelings with us. We promise we will work on this together. You're lazy/stupid/selfish.Never label your child. Never. Your friends don't do that.Comparison will never bring any positive change. Accept your child for who they are and appreciate them. You should have done better.Praise them for their achievement. Do not over expect. You don't know what you're talking about. / You're too young to know what you want.Often children know what they want or how they feel. Saying this will show your distrust in their feelings. You'll never be able to do that.Instead, encourage and push your child to do better, of course, without any comparison. You're so fat/skinny, or You're going to get fat/skinny.Never attribute a child's identity to their looks. You make me so mad.Calm your anger down, and then talk to your child(ren).&nbsp;Instead, say:&nbsp;We will talk about this after a while when I am in the right state of my mind. Impact of such phrases on children:<ol><li>Antisocial behaviour</li><li>Poor resilience</li><li>Depression</li><li>Aggression</li><li>Lack of empathy</li><li>Difficulty in relationships</li><li>Self-doubt</li><li>Lack of self-confidence</li><li>Anxiety</li></ol>

A few things said in haste messes up a child's brain and have a considerable impact psychologically, like low self-confidence, self-doubt, anxiety and so on

Speaking Gently: Things you should never say to your child

A few things said in haste messes up a child’s brain and have a huge impact psychologically.

Things You Should Never Say to Your Child

It's just a few days to your child's birthday and you are wondering if everything will go according to your plan or not. Well, here are a few things you can prepare beforehand so that on your child's special day you are not busy with organising and execution and are able to spend quality time with your child: <ul><li>If you're calling your child's friends over, make all the calls at least 3 days prior and take the confirmations so you can make the arrangements accordingly.</li><li>If you are planning to get food from outside, call the catering people and make appropriate arrangements for the special day.</li><li>If you are going to plan an activity for children, get all the materials for the same and keep everything in one place so that you don't have to rush around for everything on the day of celebration.</li><li>Get a house help for the whole day to help you with the arrangements prior to the celebration and also to help you tidy up the place post the celebrations.</li><li>Make your child try on the clothes and footwear before their birthday so that if any changes are to be made, they can be done within time.</li><li>Wind up all your personal/professional work one day prior to your child's birthday so that you can give your undivided attention to your child.</li></ul> If you are confused as to what you can do to make your child's birthday fulfilling, take a look at our 'Birthday Celebration Ideas' article to get some ideas.

Don't fuss about the preparations on the day of the celebration of the child's birthday, instead, see what you can manage prior to the celebration to make the day less stressful.

Preparing for your childs Birthday

Don't fuss about the preparations on the day of the celebration of your child's birthday, instead, see what all you can manage prior to the celebration to make the day less stressful.

<ul><li>Protect your child from too much sun. The sun's rays are strongest between 10 AM and 4 PM so avoid taking your child out during these hours.</li><li>If you plan to take your child outside, apply sunscreen to them which provides protection against UV rays. Apply sunscreen 30 minutes before going outside. Reapply every two hours and after being in the water or sweating. Use sunscreen on cloudy days too as the sun’s rays pass through the clouds as well. Do not skip sunscreen if you are taking your child out; only skip if your child is wearing clothes that cover his/her entire body.</li><li>If your baby is less than a year old, keep them out of the sun as much as you can. Dress your baby in lightweight, light-coloured clothing with long sleeves and long pants. Make sure to cover their head.</li><li>Select sunglasses for babies and children that provide 100% UV protection.</li><li>When it is too hot and humid, children should not play outside or exercise for more than 30 minutes at a time.</li><li>Make sure your child drinks plenty of fluids even if they are not thirsty. Water is best of all. Dehydration can cause fatigue and muscle cramping.</li><li>Keep your child covered at all times when outside or sit in the shade as your child’s sensitive skin can get a sunburn. If your child gets sunburn, the best remedy is to use a cold compress for the affected area. If it’s too much, consult a doctor.</li><li>Never leave your kids unattended in a closed car even for a few minutes and even if the windows are open. The temperature inside a closed car increases too quickly and can be fatal for a child.</li></ul>

Taking the right precautionary steps before the arrival of any season will keep your baby safe and healthy.

Handy Summer Care and Tips For Babies

Taking the right precautionary steps before the arrival of any season will keep your baby safe and healthy.

Summer Precautions for Babies

If your child is laughing without any specific reason or if (s)he is talking, crying or staying silent way too much without any understandable reason, this might indicate that your child is unable to understand what is going on in a particular situation. When children have insecurity of being judged as someone who cannot gauge what is going around in his/her space, they react in a way in which people around them are not able to catch the fact that the child is not understanding anything happening around him/her. From the child’s perspective, (s)he feels, "Come on! I don’t get it. Why do you want me to understand everything”. They choose not to be vocal about how they feel. So they keep reacting in odd ways. Sometimes children are scared and think "If I go say that I don’t understand this and ask again, my parents will get angry and scold me.” You need to analyse the scenarios in which your child laughs too much. Ask you this question - Is this situation particularly funny and laughable or is my child just acting oddly because of (s)he lacks understanding of the situation? If you feel that your child lacks understanding, talk to them in private and ensure them that you are there to understand them and not mock them or be angry at them. Reassure them that if they don't feel right about anything, they can come to you and talk to you; there will be no judgements. If things are out of control and you cannot help manage your child's behaviour, you should consult a child psychologist who can help you solve this problem by taking steps in the right direction.

Pay attention to the situations in which your child laughs too much; this will help you to understand the problem better.

When a child laughs too much

Pay attention to the situations in which your child laughs too much; this will help you to understand the problem better.

<ul><li>Make sure to get your child fully checked before the winter starts.</li><li>Make sure that all heating appliances like geysers &amp; heaters are in working condition.</li><li>Adequate warm clothing is essential but makes sure to NOT over-dress your baby as it can be extremely uncomfortable for him/her. Several thin layers will keep them dry and warm. Always remember to make them warm boots, gloves or mittens, and a hat. The rule of thumb for older babies and young children is to dress them in one more layer of clothing than an adult would wear in the same conditions.</li><li>Give warm water baths to your child. Make sure that there is a balance between the bathroom and the bedroom temperature so that your child does not get uncomfortable after the bath.</li><li>There should be no gusts of cold winds when you are bathing your baby.</li><li>Give adequate necessary vitamins and nutrients essential for proper growth to your child.</li><li>When riding/travelling in a car, make them wear thin, snug layers rather than thick, bulky coats or snowsuits.</li><li>Use sleep clothing for babies like warm one-piece sleepers or wearable blankets instead of loose bedding like blankets, quilts, pillows, bumpers, and sheepskins as they are a cause of suffocating deaths.</li><li>If a blanket must be used to keep a sleeping infant warm, it should be thin and tucked under the crib mattress, reaching only as far as the baby's chest.</li><li>Prevent cold and flu by getting kids to:</li></ul>-Use soap and water: Washing their hands frequently will reduce the spread of germs.-Cover their mouth: Sneezing or coughing into the bend of their elbows also helps prevent the spreading of germs.-Get immunised: Keep vaccinations current, including the flu shot.<ul><li>Include soup in your baby’s diet. A healthy soup in cold weather will keep your baby warm.</li><li>Maintain your own hygiene: Make sure to wash and sanitise your hands before you attend to your baby every time. You need to stay healthy so that your child does not catch any infections because of you.</li><li>Use a Humidifier: When using a heating apparatus during winters it could rob the room of water vapour, making the air dry as well as your child’s skin. Hence, install a humidifier in the room so that the moisture levels are maintained.</li><li>Make use of a moisturiser for your baby as your little one's skin will be extremely sensitive and the harsh atmosphere of the winter can make it dry. Opt for skin creams or moisturisers that are made for the baby’s skin.</li><li>Protect your child from hypothermia. Hypothermia develops when a child's temperature falls below normal due to exposure to colder temperatures. As hypothermia sets in, the child may shiver and become lethargic and clumsy.&nbsp;Speech may become slurred.</li><li>If you suspect your child is hypothermic, call for an emergency at once. Until help arrives, take the child indoors, remove any wet clothing, and wrap him/her in blankets or warm clothes.</li><li>Another thing to keep your baby safe from is frostbite. Frostbite happens when the skin and outer tissues become frozen.&nbsp;This condition tends to happen on extremities like the fingers, toes, ears and nose.&nbsp;They may become pale, grey and blistered. At the same time, the child may complain that his/her skin burns or has become numb.</li><li>If you suspect frostbite, bring the child indoors and place the frostbite parts of his/her body in warm (not hot) water. Warm washcloths may be applied to frostbitten noses, ears and lips. Do not rub the frozen areas. After a few minutes, dry and cover the child with clothing or blankets. Give him/her something warm to drink. If the numbness continues for more than a few minutes, call your doctor.</li></ul>

Winter Precautions for Babies

Precautions for Babies During the Winter Season

There is no particular reason behind generalised preferences by children. They are just temporary, and be rest assured this does not have any connection with future relationship/bonding with your child. It may be heart breaking when the child pushes you and chooses one parent over other but, do not let the child know about it and try to be normal. Your anger or frustration out of worry can make things worse. Manage your own feelings.<ul><li>If the father is not around, explain the reasons and tell your child to plan activities and games that (s)he wants to play with daddy.</li><li>As a mother, you may try to always be around but make sure you are spending quality time. Take time to play games, read stories and do homework together.</li><li>Don’t call daddy quite often; try to engage the child in their favourite activities so that (s)he does not miss his/her daddy.</li></ul> At the end of the day, accept that some children prefer father over mother and some prefer mother over father. It is completely okay and normal; this does not mean that your child loves you less. As your child grows, so will your bond with your child.

Children have parent preferences; this is common and temporary so don't you worry.

parent preference parenting concerns

Parenting issues are a part of the everyday parenting journey. Following article(s) might help you with your concern(s).

Baby prefers dad over mom

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