A few things said in haste messes up a child's brain and have a considerable impact psychologically, like low self-confidence, self-doubt, anxiety, depression, and so much more. Throughout your parenting journey, make sure you are not saying things or acting out in a way that could damage your child(ren) mentally. Sometimes parents are not aware that their actions affect their child(ren) negatively, and sometimes parents overlook it and justify their bad behaviour due to their stress. Here are a few practices which you should avoid telling your child(ren): Pick these up right now. I don't want you leaving a mess like that again.Instead, say:&nbsp;I don't like this mess you are leaving. Can you please clean this up when you have time? You should know better.Instead, say:&nbsp;It's OK not to know some things. Here, I will help you out. You're a bad kid.Instead, say:&nbsp;Can you tell me why you behaved/acted in such a way? I feel it wasn't right, is there anything you want to talk about? Or Else.&nbsp;Example: Eat dinner, or else you won't get your dessert.Instead, say:&nbsp;How about you take a healthy dinner quickly so that we can all enjoy dessert together?&nbsp; Stop being shy.Instead, say:&nbsp;You can come to say hi to your aunt when you are ready. You should set a good example for your brother.Instead, say:&nbsp;Your brother looks up to you; you're such a good role model. Wait until your father/mother gets home.Instead, say:&nbsp;You're grounded because you said a bad word. I will never forgive you.Instead, say:&nbsp;What you did was not acceptable, but we can look past it and move on if you think the next time. I'm ashamed of you.Instead, say:&nbsp;Although I feel bad about what you did, I love you for who you are. Don't worry; everything will be OK.Instead, say:&nbsp;Mom and Dad are always nearby, and we're going to set up a plan in case of emergency. Here, I'll do it.Instead, say:&nbsp;Let's do it together!" Don't cryInstead, say:&nbsp;I know you're sad, and it's OK to cry. It's OK to let out your emotions. Let me hug you. If you don't clean your room, you're going to be in big trouble.Instead, say:&nbsp;When your room is clean, then you may go out to play. Family finances aren't your business.Instead, say:&nbsp;Finances are how we make and manage money, and when you like, we will teach you what we know. I'm disappointed in you.Instead, say:&nbsp;I'm surprised and was not expecting this to occur. Come here, NOW.Instead, say:&nbsp;It's almost time to go. Do you want one minute or two? Because I said so.Instead, say:&nbsp;Explaining why you feel a certain way about something. We can't afford that.Instead, say:&nbsp;We're not going to buy that because we're saving our money for more important things. Don't talk to strangers.Instead, say:&nbsp;What would you do if a man you don't know offers you candy and a ride home? OR If anyone makes you feel sad, scared, or confused, you need to tell me right away. You should listen to adults.Instead, say:&nbsp;You need to listen to your parents. Don't be greedy!Instead, say:&nbsp;Would you please be kind and share your toys with your friend? Who taught you this? (about mischief)Instead, say:&nbsp;Why did you do that? Look at this lovely girl.Instead, say:&nbsp;I love you. You can do this too. I do everything for you.Instead, say:&nbsp;We do things for you because we love you, so please do for me. Do I have to tell you this 100 times?Instead, say:&nbsp;I've told you this before, but could you please. That's only for boys/girls.Instead:&nbsp;Say nothing at all. Try your best at raising gender-neutral children. You live under my roof, so you follow my rules.Instead, say:&nbsp;You know the household rules. Please stick to them. That's how I was raised.Instead, say:&nbsp;I don't think it's a good idea to do [ ]. Even my parents used to tell me that [ ]. You're just like your mother/father!Instead say:&nbsp;I’m not happy with [ ] because [ ]. I told you so.Instead, say:&nbsp;I'm sorry to hear about [ ] ... let this be a lesson. It's just a little white lie.Instead, explain to them that it's OK to use white lies to be polite and not hurt someone's feelings. Explain to them the fine line between lies and little white lies. Man up. / Be a man.Never disregard your son's feelings. Don't teach them that showing emotions is weak. To show emotions is only human. Why can't you be more like your sister?Instead, say:&nbsp;I don't quite like this behaviour of yours. Do you think we can work on it? If you loved me, you wouldn't do (this/that).Don't teach them that love needs to be proven all the time. Love comes without ifs and buts. I wish you'd never been born. / I hate you.No matter how angry you are, this is the worst thing to say. You would be scarring your child. Why can't you do anything right?Instead, say: What's the barrier? Is there anything I can help you with? I don't believe you.Instead, say: This comes as a shock for me. But I am sure you can tell me the whole thing. There's nothing to be afraid of.Instead, say:&nbsp;Everyone has their fair share of fears. We appreciate that you shared your feelings with us. We promise we will work on this together. You're lazy/stupid/selfish.Never label your child. Never. Your friends don't do that.Comparison will never bring any positive change. Accept your child for who they are and appreciate them. You should have done better.Praise them for their achievement. Do not over expect. You don't know what you're talking about. / You're too young to know what you want.Often children know what they want or how they feel. Saying this will show your distrust in their feelings. You'll never be able to do that.Instead, encourage and push your child to do better, of course, without any comparison. You're so fat/skinny, or You're going to get fat/skinny.Never attribute a child's identity to their looks. You make me so mad.Calm your anger down, and then talk to your child(ren).&nbsp;Instead, say:&nbsp;We will talk about this after a while when I am in the right state of my mind. Impact of such phrases on children:<ol><li>Antisocial behaviour</li><li>Poor resilience</li><li>Depression</li><li>Aggression</li><li>Lack of empathy</li><li>Difficulty in relationships</li><li>Self-doubt</li><li>Lack of self-confidence</li><li>Anxiety</li></ol>

A few things said in haste messes up a child's brain and have a considerable impact psychologically, like low self-confidence, self-doubt, anxiety and so on

Speaking Gently: Things you should never say to your child

A few things said in haste messes up a child’s brain and have a huge impact psychologically.

Things You Should Never Say to Your Child

Following are a few tips to keep in mind while you babyproof the house: <ol><li>Keep the bathrooms locked at all times.</li><li>Lock and hasp on doors in rooms and bathrooms should be shifted up (at the height of an adult’s head).</li><li>Keep the cribs at the lowest height because as children advance developmentally, they tend to launch themselves out of the crib.</li><li>Change the positions of electrical boards, keep them high so that they are out of a child’s reach.</li><li>Check the sharp corners and cover them with soft rubber. Stick rubber cover at the corners of kitchen tables, beds, dining tables and TV units.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</li><li>If you are living in a double storied house, fix a small door on the staircase. This will ensure the baby doesn't crawl and climb up.</li><li>If the child is using a walker make sure there is no bump or slope on the floor.</li><li>Keep the heavy objects, sharp objects, glass objects and such hazardous objects out of reach of the child.</li><li>Keep the use of rugs at a minimum as children tend to slip because of them. If you do use rugs, put non-slip pads beneath them.</li><li>Unplug all electrical appliances when not in use.</li><li>Put all the sharp objects of the kitchen in cupboards.</li><li>Remove table cloths if any.</li><li>Install safety guards on windows and doors.</li><li>Make sure there's no water spilt anywhere in the house.</li><li>Do not paint or renovate the house immediately after the baby arrives home. The chemicals are harmful to the baby. Wait a few years and then make the required changes.</li></ol>

Children are curious by nature and they will explore everything you have in the house. So it's better to keep a check on all the things you have in the house before the baby arrives.

How to baby proof your house: 15 baby proofing tips 

Children are curious by nature and they will explore everything you have in the house. So it's better to keep a check on all the things you have in the house before the baby arrives.

15 Tips to baby proof your house

<ul><li>Make sure to get your child fully checked before the winter starts.</li><li>Make sure that all heating appliances like geysers &amp; heaters are in working condition.</li><li>Adequate warm clothing is essential but makes sure to NOT over-dress your baby as it can be extremely uncomfortable for him/her. Several thin layers will keep them dry and warm. Always remember to make them warm boots, gloves or mittens, and a hat. The rule of thumb for older babies and young children is to dress them in one more layer of clothing than an adult would wear in the same conditions.</li><li>Give warm water baths to your child. Make sure that there is a balance between the bathroom and the bedroom temperature so that your child does not get uncomfortable after the bath.</li><li>There should be no gusts of cold winds when you are bathing your baby.</li><li>Give adequate necessary vitamins and nutrients essential for proper growth to your child.</li><li>When riding/travelling in a car, make them wear thin, snug layers rather than thick, bulky coats or snowsuits.</li><li>Use sleep clothing for babies like warm one-piece sleepers or wearable blankets instead of loose bedding like blankets, quilts, pillows, bumpers, and sheepskins as they are a cause of suffocating deaths.</li><li>If a blanket must be used to keep a sleeping infant warm, it should be thin and tucked under the crib mattress, reaching only as far as the baby's chest.</li><li>Prevent cold and flu by getting kids to:</li></ul>-Use soap and water: Washing their hands frequently will reduce the spread of germs.-Cover their mouth: Sneezing or coughing into the bend of their elbows also helps prevent the spreading of germs.-Get immunised: Keep vaccinations current, including the flu shot.<ul><li>Include soup in your baby’s diet. A healthy soup in cold weather will keep your baby warm.</li><li>Maintain your own hygiene: Make sure to wash and sanitise your hands before you attend to your baby every time. You need to stay healthy so that your child does not catch any infections because of you.</li><li>Use a Humidifier: When using a heating apparatus during winters it could rob the room of water vapour, making the air dry as well as your child’s skin. Hence, install a humidifier in the room so that the moisture levels are maintained.</li><li>Make use of a moisturiser for your baby as your little one's skin will be extremely sensitive and the harsh atmosphere of the winter can make it dry. Opt for skin creams or moisturisers that are made for the baby’s skin.</li><li>Protect your child from hypothermia. Hypothermia develops when a child's temperature falls below normal due to exposure to colder temperatures. As hypothermia sets in, the child may shiver and become lethargic and clumsy.&nbsp;Speech may become slurred.</li><li>If you suspect your child is hypothermic, call for an emergency at once. Until help arrives, take the child indoors, remove any wet clothing, and wrap him/her in blankets or warm clothes.</li><li>Another thing to keep your baby safe from is frostbite. Frostbite happens when the skin and outer tissues become frozen.&nbsp;This condition tends to happen on extremities like the fingers, toes, ears and nose.&nbsp;They may become pale, grey and blistered. At the same time, the child may complain that his/her skin burns or has become numb.</li><li>If you suspect frostbite, bring the child indoors and place the frostbite parts of his/her body in warm (not hot) water. Warm washcloths may be applied to frostbitten noses, ears and lips. Do not rub the frozen areas. After a few minutes, dry and cover the child with clothing or blankets. Give him/her something warm to drink. If the numbness continues for more than a few minutes, call your doctor.</li></ul>

Taking the right precautionary steps before the arrival of any season will keep your baby safe and healthy.

Winter Precautions for Babies

Taking the right precautionary steps before the arrival of any season will keep your baby safe and healthy.

Precautions for Babies During the Winter Season

It's just a few days to your child's birthday and you are wondering if everything will go according to your plan or not. Well, here are a few things you can prepare beforehand so that on your child's special day you are not busy with organising and execution and are able to spend quality time with your child: <ul><li>If you're calling your child's friends over, make all the calls at least 3 days prior and take the confirmations so you can make the arrangements accordingly.</li><li>If you are planning to get food from outside, call the catering people and make appropriate arrangements for the special day.</li><li>If you are going to plan an activity for children, get all the materials for the same and keep everything in one place so that you don't have to rush around for everything on the day of celebration.</li><li>Get a house help for the whole day to help you with the arrangements prior to the celebration and also to help you tidy up the place post the celebrations.</li><li>Make your child try on the clothes and footwear before their birthday so that if any changes are to be made, they can be done within time.</li><li>Wind up all your personal/professional work one day prior to your child's birthday so that you can give your undivided attention to your child.</li></ul> If you are confused as to what you can do to make your child's birthday fulfilling, take a look at our 'Birthday Celebration Ideas' article to get some ideas.

Don't fuss about the preparations on the day of the celebration of the child's birthday, instead, see what you can manage prior to the celebration to make the day less stressful.

Preparing for your childs Birthday

Don't fuss about the preparations on the day of the celebration of your child's birthday, instead, see what all you can manage prior to the celebration to make the day less stressful.

In a joint family, every member takes their turn to nurture and nourish the child. Joint families are a boon to working parents or otherwise too. Children get to learn to respond and interact with others, adapt to changes and people. Raising a child in a joint family also becomes a bit easier on the mother because of the whole support system. Like every coin has two sides, bringing up a child in a joint family also has its own set of pros and cons. <ul><li>A joint family has too many authoritative figures which usually can give contradicting signals to a child. In a joint family, the same message should come from all the adults in the family. If jumping on the bed is not allowed, then the same message should come from both parents and grandparents.</li><li>It Is given that the parenting styles of grandparents and parents are going to differ. And when the differences arise, children are quick to catch those. So whenever you feel conflicts arising, it is better to sit down and talk about the differences when the child is NOT around. Set ground rules about raising your child.</li><li>In a joint family, a child learns good family values from the elder family members.</li><li>Children in a joint family are less hooked on gadgets as everyone in the family is ready to cater to their needs, be it emotional, social, physical, or in academics.</li><li>Making decisions for a child might get conflicting in the joint families as the grandparents tend to impose their thoughts and opinions. Sure, at times the help and insights are great but at the end of the day, it is solely the right of parents to decide the best for their child.</li></ul> In the end, it is up to parents to weigh the pros and cons of raising a child in joint and nuclear families and then decide what’s best for their child(ren).

A joint family is a large family where the grandparents, father, mother, uncle, aunt and their children live unitedly under one roof.

Parenting in a Joint Family | Types of Family

A joint family is a large family where the grandparents, father, mother, uncle, aunt and their children live unitedly under one roof.

Parenting in a Joint Family

Palak Vyas

Clothing for a baby should be such that the baby is able to sleep hassle freeIn winters:<ul><li>Use thermal wear.</li><li>Do not use cotton clothes as they aren’t effective against cold.</li><li>For a newborn baby, swaddle with a warm blanket till 2 months.</li><li>Dress your child in a bodysuit. You can layer up with pants and top.</li><li>Put on soft warm socks for tiny toes.</li><li>Go for zip ups. So if it gets warmer you can take off easily.</li></ul> In summers:<ul><li>Use organic cotton muslin quilt to cover them while they sleep.</li><li>Fabric like fleece, cotton or flannel can be used.</li><li>Smooth cotton tops with short sleeves and pyjamas are enough.</li><li>In very hot weather only a diaper/cotton underwear is fine.</li></ul>Each one of us have different capacities to bear hot and cold temperatures so make sure to keep checking till you get an idea about your baby’s tendency. Check whether (s)he is fine with layering up or is (s)he okay with just a diaper. Soon you will know how to dress&nbsp;your own baby depending upon his/her comfort and requirements.

Choose sleepwear in a way that the baby sleeps hassle free and wakes up with a smile.

Sleepwear tips for babies

Children are active human beings. They want to walk, run, and climb anywhere and everywhere. Choosing the footwear which provides them with proper grip and balance is very important. <ul><li>Socks: Even when babies have not started walking, you can buy socks for them for protection from cold. Select socks made up of natural breathable fibres like wool and cotton. Never invest in 100% nylon material.</li><li>Soft and comfortable: The first shoes should be soft and comfortable; the baby should be able to feel his feet through the shoes.</li><li>Let it be lightweight and proper fit; not too tight but not that loose that it comes out while the child is walking.</li><li>Slippers of your child should properly fit at the toes so that they have a good grip.</li><li>Velcro fasteners are better than anything else because they are easy to wear and easy to remove.</li><li>Ensure the soles or bottoms of the shoes are not slippery. It should stay firm and hold the ground properly so that the child can maintain his/her balance.</li><li>Seams and edges should be soft.</li><li>Space near the toes should be wide enough so that the child can wiggle his/her toes easily.</li><li>Check the shoes after every 6 to 8 weeks for the right fit.</li><li>Make sure the shoes have proper padding on the heel backs, around the ankles and in the bottom inside.</li><li>Keep on checking babies’ toes regularly.</li></ul> Allow your child to walk barefoot wherever it is possible. They find perfect balance and grip by walking bare feet.

Footwear plays a major role in balance and grip of a child.

Guidelines to choose shoes for babies

Swaddling is a part of caring for newborn babies since centuries. This makes the babies feel as if they are in the womb. It is one of the best techniques to calm a cranky baby and help them sleep for long. It can be particularly helpful for babies with neurological problems (problems associated with nerves, like migraine, stroke etc.) or colic (abdominal pain during infancy). It also can really help babies to fall and stay asleep on their backs. Consider these points when you are swaddling your baby:<ul><li>If your baby is happy without swaddling, don’t swaddle.</li><li>Always put your baby to sleep on his back if he is swaddled.</li><li>Make sure that whatever you are using to swaddle doesn’t become loose.</li><li>For the healthy development of the hips, babies’ legs need to be able to bend up and out at the hips. Swaddling for short periods of time is likely fine, but if your baby is going to spend a significant amount of the day and night swaddled, consider swaddling a little easy that lets the legs move.</li></ul>

Swaddling gives a very cosy feeling to a newborn baby. The baby feels as if it is still in the mother's womb.

The art of Swaddling a baby

Ravina Sewani

Kids tend to swallow many items including toys, buttons, coins, earrings, rings, paper clips, game pieces, needles, pins, tacks, toothpicks, screws, button batteries, magnets, and nails. Most objects that children swallow are harmless, and pass through the digestive system without any problem. Do not force your child to vomit in any case, this might worsen the situation. Objects that become stuck in the oesophagus, stomach or intestines may need to be removed. Two things are especially dangerous: button batteries and magnets. <ul><li>When you notice that your child has swallowed a button battery, go to your nearest hospital emergency department or call an ambulance immediately. Do not induce vomiting. If a button battery is swallowed and gets stuck in the oesophagus, it can burn through the tissue in just two hours, causing severe injury or death.</li><li>Magnets can be dangerous too, especially if two or more are swallowed. If your child has swallowed two magnets, they can damage the intestines. In this case, go to your nearest hospital emergency department.</li><li>If your child is older than 1 year, you can give 2 teaspoons of honey every 10 minutes until you get to the hospital to try to prevent injury. Once the object reaches the stomach, the situation becomes less serious.</li></ul> Call for medical help if your child has:<ul><li>Has trouble swallowing food</li><li>Has excessive drooling along with blood</li><li>Has pain in the chest or neck</li><li>Has coughing</li><li>Has fever</li><li>Refuses food</li><li>Has vomiting</li><li>Passes blood in the stool</li><li>If your child is coughing or is having difficulty breathing, the object may be in their airway or lungs. You should call an ambulance immediately if your child is having trouble breathing.</li></ul> Treatment in the hospital:<ul><li>In hospital, a doctor or nurse will ask what your child has swallowed. An X-ray may be done if the swallowed object is made of material that shows up on an X-ray, or if your child has worrying symptoms.</li><li>If doctors are unable to see a swallowed object on an X-ray and your child has no worrying symptoms, it is OK to take your child home.</li></ul> Swallow test:<ul><li>If your child has swallowed something small and shows no signs of trouble, the doctor will first suggest them to drink water. If water passes down easily, the doctor will then recommend trying a piece of bread. (Enzymes in saliva will help dissolve the bread if it sticks.) If either of these causes any problems, the doctor will then proceed for the treatment.</li><li>If the object gets stuck between the mouth and throat, the doctor may try to get it out with tools through the mouth (endoscopically). Your child might be given medication to make them sleepy before the procedure. Another alternative is to give drugs that relax the muscles so that the swallowed object can pass into the stomach.</li><li>If the object is large, sharp, or dangerous and has moved into the stomach, the doctor will try to take the object out through the mouth. If that doesn't work, X-ray results are analysed to track the object’s movement. The doctor may recommend an operation to remove the item if it’s sharp and doesn’t seem to be making its way out of their body, or might damage their intestines.</li></ul> Plastic Wrap:If your child has swallowed a plastic wrap, don’t worry as it will be thrown out in the stools within a day or two. You can give bananas to your child as they are known to aid smooth movement of the bowel. Watch for nausea, vomiting, indigestion, diarrhoea, breathing difficulty, if present consult paediatrician.But next time, take very good care so that your baby doesn't swallow anything abnormal. When the child has swallowed poison:A poison is any harmful substance that is inhaled, injected, swallowed or absorbed through the skin. Swallowing of the poison always requires medical treatment hence call for medical help as soon as you suspect your child of having swallowed a poison. Signs and symptoms of poisoning may include:<ul><li>Burns or redness around the mouth and lips</li><li>Breath that smells like chemicals</li><li>Vomiting</li><li>Difficulty breathing</li><li>Drowsiness</li><li>Confusion or other altered mental status</li><li>Having seizures</li></ul> If you suspect poisoning, be alert for clues such as empty pill bottles or packages, scattered pills, and burns, stains and odors on the child or nearby objects. Take the following actions until help arrives:<ul><li>Swallowed poison: Remove anything remaining in your child’s mouth. If the suspected poison is a household cleaner or other chemical, read the container's label and follow instructions for accidental poisoning.</li><li>Poison on the skin: Remove any contaminated clothing using gloves. Rinse the skin for 15 to 20 minutes in a shower.</li><li>Poison in the eye: Gently flush the eye with cool or lukewarm water for 20 minutes or until help arrives.</li><li>Inhaled poison: Get your child into fresh air as soon as possible.</li><li>Begin CPR if the person shows no signs of life, such as moving, breathing or coughing.</li></ul>

Kids tend to swallow many items including toys, buttons, coins, earrings, rings, paper clips, game pieces, needles, pins, tacks, toothpicks, screws, button batteries, magnets, and nails.

Swallowing abnormal things

Fighting in front of your kids has a very negative impact on their growing years. So whenever a situation arises where you think that things might get heated, it is better to walk away from that place or tell your spouse “we will talk about this later”. You can talk about your issues separately and vent everything out because keeping things to yourself will affect your mental health.<ul><li>The first step is just walk out of that situation.&nbsp;</li><li>The second step is to wait till you are not around your children or you both are alone.</li><li>The third step is to reflect whether it is worth fighting on that particular point or not. If you can, just let it go with the passage of time.</li></ul> If your argument is related to your child’s upbringing or academics or just a difference of opinion between you and your spouse regarding your child, talk this through in a calmer but firmer tone. Not everything needs to be shouted and sorted. This will also help children understand that things can be sorted out without shouting on each other. <ul><li>If you and your spouse cannot sort things out without shouting on each other, it is better to pen down your opinions. Then you can exchange your written points with your spouse. This way there will be more understanding and less shouting.</li><li>After you have listened to or read your spouse’s side of opinions, you can discuss the solutions. Again, if you think that things will not be smooth during verbal discussion, then pen down your views and then discuss with each other.</li></ul>

Arguments between parents have an impact on children for a long time so it's advisable to keep the arguments limited to your room.

How not to fight in front of your child!

When a toddler asks you a question, either it comes out of curiosity or it could be just attention seeking. Figure out if your child needs your undivided attention. If yes, please give proper attention. In the times of social media and technology all around, a child misses that personal time with parents and so (s)he might be asking questions in an attempt that you pay attention to them.But Sometimes it is just curiosity. For a few initial years, a&nbsp;child comes across so many things that (s)he hasn’t seen or heard about. So, (s)he will have a few questions almost everyday. It is always best&nbsp;to satisfy their curiosity and never shush them. The problem arises when they ask too many questions which ultimately annoys parents to a limit that they lose patience. How do deal with this:<ul><li>Acknowledge their questions and postpone it&nbsp;until a more convenient&nbsp;time. For example your child doesn’t eat spinach and asks you why should he eat, you can say, “I understand you don’t like it but let’s talk about its value after dinner. You have it now and i will tell you how it has benefited you, when we talk”. You need to answer them later without fail on due time.</li><li>Don’t be afraid to say, “I don’t know.” Sometimes parents get exhausted trying to come up with answers to all the questions a child has, particularly when they don’t know anything about that field. In such cases, tell them, “That is a great question. I don't know exactly about it right now but we can find out later this night or on the weekend. Whenever you postpone, be specific about the timings and discuss about it. Stick to your own words.</li><li>How about asking them questions instead of getting angry and shooing them away.For example, when the child asks why should (s)he be eating spinach. Ask him what does (s)he think will happen if (s)he does not eat it. If your child asks why can’t (s)he have ice cream when he is suffering from cold, ask him what does (s)he think would happen if (s)he eats.</li><li>Keep cool when you say that. Be ready and patient to listen to their answers.</li><li>You can also make a list of questions or ask them to do so on a sheet of paper, notebook or on stick pad on fridge. Fix a convenient time in a week and solve their queries.</li><li>All these things can take a lot of time. But by doing this you are encouraging their curiosity. In case if you have 20 questions at the end of the week, ask your child to select 10 first. Like this you will know about their thought process and ideas too.</li></ul>

When a toddler asks you a question, either it comes out of curiosity or it could be just attention seeking. Whatever is the case, it is always best to feed your child's curiosity and give them undivided attention.

Being patient with child’s numerous questions.

Nightmares/unpleasant (bad) dreams are common among preschoolers as this is the age when they start understanding about normal fears and their imagination is highly active. These unpleasant dreams disrupt child’s sleep and causes distress. Nightmares usually occur in the middle of the night or early morning. According to science, dreams are just a representation of what has been put in our brains. If the child is watching too many violent games or action thrillers or if (s)he has had a fight with friends/family members, (s)he can have bad dreams. Sometimes a verbal fight during the day with anybody can convert into violent dream. As a child, the unpleasant dream is mostly related to ghosts, witches or may be losing both or either of the parents. When they express this, be very sure and precise about how you are going to go ahead with this information and you should assess what kind of surrounding they are being a part of. When your child gets startled and wakes up from sleep:<ul><li>The first thing to do when they wake up startled because of a bad dream, is to give them a warm hug and tell them that you are always around them and so there is no need to worry. Ask them to openly express whatever they have gone through or felt in the dream. This is the basic thing which you can do to calm your child during and after their unpleasant dream.</li><li>Switch on some lights, dark rooms are scary for children. It can help them go back to sleep.</li></ul> There are three ways of knowing whether your child is having unpleasant dreams or not:<ol><li>The first is if the child wakes up in the middle of the night and starts screaming and is disturbed.</li><li>The second if the child suddenly starts clenching his teeth in sleep. The child is irritated, restless and may keep twisting and turning through the night.</li><li>The third thing can be that the child wakes up in the morning and expresses that (s)he has had a bad dream and gives you the details.</li></ol> In all the three cases just work the following things out:&nbsp;<ol><li>What's the child’s schedule and how the child is doing what the child is doing. Is there something which the child is viewing which is not so comfortable for the child?</li><li>Keep a continuous record of the things happening because children as young as 1 or 1.5 years start observing some cartoons on the television which have negative characters coming in, which might disturb them.&nbsp;Later on, they start seeing these cartoons as a part of their dreams and get scared. So you should keep a check on the kind of media they consume.</li><li>Another possibility could be, there might be something in the surrounding which is being talked about and they are not okay with it. May be as parents, you might be discussing something negative in front of them which they are reciprocating in their dreams.</li><li>One more concern could be, whether you are fighting in front of your children. Are you taking out your anger or rage in front of them? The child may start channelising your anger in their dreams. They may dream about ghosts or death and if they are expressing any such thing, you can analyse those expressions.</li></ol> Here are a few ways to avoid nightmares:<ul><li>Have a regular bed time schedule.</li><li>Try to give a sound and pleasant atmosphere to your child at home.</li><li>Snuggle your child while putting them to sleep, read good stories and talk about pleasant events.</li><li>Avoid scary movies, TV shows or threatening stories before bed time.</li><li>Also ensure that you not talking about any unpleasant event to other family members in presence of the child.</li></ul>

Nightmares/unpleasant (bad) dreams are common among preschoolers as this is the age when they start understanding about normal fears and their imagination is highly active.

Child experiencing unpleasant dreams

It is difficult to know what’s going on in a child’s mind because they contemplate things differently than adults. It becomes all the more difficult because they cannot express their thoughts, feelings, and emotions in words as their vocabulary is not fully developed. Parents want to know what’s going on with their child because they are concerned about their children and want to help them. When children speak out their mind, it's easy to decipher what they are thinking but when they suddenly discontinue sharing, try to hide things, or avoid telling you the full story, it becomes a matter of concern. During such phases parents can try to observe their child closely. Observe their behaviour and listen to their conversations with friends and family. Observe their body language. Make them comfortable and try to talk to them with love and compassion. Give them the assurance that they can talk about everything to you and you won’t be mad at them or judge them. Make them feel safe and secure, make them feel heard and seen for who they are. In cases, where a child is being molested by some friend or family member, they tend to go silent and try to hide things from you out of fear. Likewise, when they are bullied or suppressed or shocked, they need your love, care and support. Stand by their side and listen to them. When you have gained their trust, they will open up with you and you won’t have to wonder what is running on their minds.

Be very observant of how your child behaves, that should help you understand your child better.

Decoding your child’s psyche

Juhi Mishra

The school years (most importantly the preschool years) are the most important years in a child’s life. These years lay the foundation of an individual’s personality. The school years affect the learning style of an individual. It is very important for a child to be in school and around teachers who nurture the growth of the child and let the child BE. Following are the points which need to be considered while selecting a school for your child: <ol><li>Distance: The school should be close enough to the house so that the child does not have to spend more than half an hour travelling one way.</li><li>Age: The school should be following the correct age criteria for admission. Especially for preschools, the child should be 2+ for playgroup, 3+ for nursery, 4+ for Jr. KG, 5+ for Sr. KG and accordingly. By the time the child is 6+, s/he is ready to be in grade 1. It is not advisable for the parents to save 1 year while seeking admissions in the school. The child is ready to learn better if the age of the child is appropriate for that grade.</li><li>Child centric curriculum: Look for the curriculum, which should be child centric. The way the curriculum is imparted in the school. The school should be respectful towards the individuality of a child. Also, if the school works closely with the parents for the betterment of the child, it is an added advantage.</li><li>Fee and infrastructure: Though it is suggested to select a school that fits the budget, but it is also advisable to check if the fees being paid is utilised appropriately. It is better to ask these questions beforehand: If the fee is too low, are the teachers appointed not qualified enough? If the fee is too high, how is it being utilised? Is the school just focusing on building fancy infrastructure? Is the school focusing on teacher training and development programs? Is the basic infrastructure in place (toilets, learning resources, etc.)?</li><li>Teachers: The adults who would be in the child’s environment should be qualified enough to impart the knowledge.</li><li>No-judgement environment: It is better to talk with parents who are already sending their children to a particular school. This is to check if the children are judged as per the performance/ behaviour/ background of&nbsp;child. The children in their growing years do not need any kind of labels: brilliant, poor, intelligent, dumb, etc. Any label (good or bad) is not helpful in a child’ early years. One needs to be sure that children are not shouted at or physically assaulted in the school.</li><li>Safety: It is very important that the school takes care of the safety of a child. The staff should be reliable and their background has been checked, is of utmost priority. The place should be such that the opportunities to get hurt are less (though certain incidents are unavoidable). There should be CCTV cameras all around (except the toilet booths). But, it is also very important that parents are not given the access to live streaming of the cameras (as one never knows the intention with which any one may look at any child while going through the live streaming).</li><li>Interview for the child and the parents: If the school interviews the child (especially preschools) to check the level of the child or if the school interviews the parents (to see if they will be able to help the child at home), such a school should be avoided. The school should be confident enough to impart education in a way that all children are happy learning.</li><li>Cleanliness: It is very important that the environment in which the child is going to spend a lot of time is hygienic enough. The school should not be having breeding grounds for insects, dust coated furniture and fixtures, dirty toilets, smelly rooms, damaged doors and windows, etc. Cleanliness is of paramount as the place where the child is going to spend his/ her time should not affect the health of the child.</li></ol>

The school years (most importantly the preschool years) are the most important years in a child’s life. These years lay the foundation of an individual’s personality.

playpens parenting concern

Parenting issues are a part of the everyday parenting journey. Following article(s) might help you with your concern(s).

Sleepwear tips for babies

Guidelines to choose shoes for babies

The art of Swaddling a baby

Swallowing abnormal things

How not to fight in front of your child!

Being patient with child’s numerous questions.

Child experiencing unpleasant dreams

Decoding your child’s psyche

Preschool Selection

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