Palak Vyas

Keep the following points in mind while buying a milk bottle for your child: <ul><li>Bottle material: The glass bottles are heavy, BPA (a chemical used in plastics) free, can last longer and can be easily cleaned. But they need to be handled with care while. They are more expensive than plastic ones.</li></ul> The silicone bottles are light and unbreakable, BPA free. Often they are soft but more expensive than the plastic and glass ones.The plastic bottles are light, unbreakable and inexpensive. Generally, parents don’t prefer using plastic though they are very convenient to use.The stainless steel bottles are light, unbreakable, BPA free, last longer, not very expensive too.Parents can use any of the above material depending upon their preference and convenience. <ul><li>Bottle shape: Most bottles are slightly curved or angled for easy grip. Height and width should be chosen based on baby’s convenience to hold.</li></ul> <ul><li>Disposable bottles are also available in the market if you want to use during travelling, when washing and cleaning are not possible.</li></ul> <ul><li>Venting system: There are bottles available in the market which claim to be anti-colic. It has a straw-like component so that the baby doesn’t ingest gas bubbles.</li></ul> <ul><li>Number of bottles: Depending upon how you use it, minimum 2 to 4, to a maximum of 8 to 10 bottles can be required.</li></ul> <ul><li>Nipples: There are two varieties- silicone and latex available in the nipple material. Flat-topped and wide nipples are better.</li></ul> <ul><li>Nipple size and flow: For preemies and newborn, the smallest size is preferable while for a grown-up baby, there are nipple sizes and flow which are larger and faster respectively.</li></ul>

Selection of milk bottle can be based on many parameters like nipple shape, nipple flow, bottle material and bottle shape.

Selecting a milk bottle for your baby

Ravina Sewani

Authoritative parenting style; the parents are nurturing, responsive, and supportive, yet set firm limits for their children. They attempt to control children's behaviour by explaining rules, discussing, and reasoning. They listen to a child's viewpoint but don't always accept it. Children raised with this style tend to be friendly, energetic, cheerful, self-reliant, self-controlled, curious, cooperative and achievement-oriented. This parenting style generally produces the best outcomes in children. CharacteristicsParents in this style have high expectations, but also know the importance of open communication and provide the support their kids need to be successful. They offer consistent discipline, considering the situation. They also are role models of the behaviour they expect from their children. <ol><li>Responsive and demanding –&nbsp;Parents in this style have high expectations, but also know the importance of open communication. Parents support their kids to manage their behaviours. This approach is the most effective parenting style leading to the healthiest outcomes for children and thus the lowest difficulties scores.</li><li>Independent and self-reliant -&nbsp;Parents encourage children to be independent and develop their own identities, but at the same time, they also provide rules for their children. Due to the guidance children receive, the children tend to follow them consistently.</li><li>Higher academic performance -&nbsp;Parents support their children. Whether it's weekly homework or a particular project, they make themselves available and provide all the necessary tools for their children's success in school. They're present at school events and meetings. Their expectations for home and in school are consistent but reasonable and age-appropriate.</li><li>Open-minded -&nbsp;These parents are adaptable and willing to provide explanations. They help their children understand the reasoning behind specific rules. This type of openness and discussion helps their child develop good communication and social skills. They may also become more flexible and open-minded with others.</li><li>Reasonable emotional control and regulation -&nbsp;These parents show good emotional understanding and control. Their children also learn to manage their emotions and learn to understand others. Hence, it helps them to build healthy self-esteem and self-confidence.</li></ol> Effects on ChildrenThe authoritative parenting style takes a more balanced approach. Parents are neither bosses nor best buddies, but guides and mentors. Below are the impacts of authoritative parenting on a child: <ul><li>They learn to think&nbsp;independently and are very self-confident.</li><li>They can manage&nbsp;aggressive behaviour&nbsp;outside the home.</li><li>Children are also&nbsp;happy, capable and successful.</li><li>Achieve higher&nbsp;academic success.</li><li>Have&nbsp;better mental health&nbsp;— less depression, anxiety, suicide attempts, alcohol, and drug use.</li><li>Develop&nbsp;good social skills.</li><li>Exhibit&nbsp;less violent&nbsp;tendencies.</li><li>Children are&nbsp;well-adjusted and goal-oriented.</li></ul> Pros of Authoritarian ParentingWhen it comes to authoritative parenting, it's pretty much all good news! Parents communicate in confident, friendly and peaceful ways, and do not set goals based on the child's desires, but rather, based on past performances and achievements. Responsibility -&nbsp;Children who are raised by authoritative parents understand the responsibilities for the choices they make, which empowers them to make the right decisions.Respect -&nbsp;Children whose parents show them respect by allowing them individual freedoms are more likely to respect others. They often thrive in social settings and get along well in social life.Flexibility –&nbsp;Raising children using this style allows for more flexibility with age. As your child grows older, their needs and desires change. Thus, the child will grow with a better personality, which is more comfortable for the authoritative parent to deal with.Leadership -&nbsp;Because of their ability to make their own decisions, these children have the kind of confidence and savvy that allows them to take on leadership roles. Cons of Authoritarian ParentingOften in life, finding a balance between two alternatives is the best solution to a problem, and that's certainly the case here. But that doesn't mean that everything will be smooth sailing as long as you practice authoritative parenting. Rebellion -&nbsp;As they grow, kids go through typical phases of rebellion, anger and apathy. These phases may be incredibly tricky for authoritative parents, who naturally have high expectations of their children, and have tried hard to raise their kids the best way possible. Here, patience is the key to success.Low Self-Esteem –&nbsp;Some children may feel that their world is being controlled and they don't have the freedom to exercise their judgments and actions.Difficulty to Adapt -&nbsp;An authoritative parent tends to try to be the best parent possible at all stages of childhood, which can add more stress to parenthood. Hence there will be an issue in adapting and creating rules in different stages for child growth and development.

There isn’t a single formula for raising children well. After all, parenting isn’t an exact science. There’s definitely a bit of an art to good parenting. Authoritative parents carefully define limits for children, are good role models and praise children for their efforts.

Authoritative Parenting

Mustafa Lokhandwala

Uninvolved parents expect children to raise themselves. They don't devote much time or energy into meeting children's basic needs. These parents may be neglectful but it's not always intentional. A parent with mental health issues or substance abuse problems, for example, may not be able to care for a child's physical or emotional needs consistently. These children receive little guidance, discipline, and nurturing from their parents. And oftentimes kids are left to raise themselves and make decisions — big and small — on their own. Many parents can identify with being stressed, overworked, and tired. You know what we mean: when things get out of control, you might brush off your child for a few minutes of quiet and lonely. Characteristics Uninvolved or neglectful parenting is a considerably new parenting style that does away with hand-holding and guiding the children. It lets them learn by themselves.To better understand what uninvolved parenting consists of, it can be helpful to look at some of the key characteristics of this parenting style. <ol><li>Emotional Detachment –&nbsp;Such parents think that their duty is limited to providing food and shelter, and no other needs such as connecting with their children emotionally. They do not feel the need to ask their kids about their daily activities, or even take care of them when the children feel emotionally down. They avoid any conflicts.</li><li>Too Occupied in Their Own Life -&nbsp;Uninvolved parents feel the pressure of the world and are generally busy with their issues. They may be too occupied in solving their problems and concerned about their lives that they may have the least interest in their child’s life.</li><li>Inappropriate Supervision -&nbsp;Sometimes parents may adopt either of the extreme approaches: they may either be too lenient towards their kid and may not know what he may be doing, or they may be too strict that they may restrict their kid’s social involvement.</li><li>Fewer Feelings –&nbsp;Parent Show little warmth, love, and affection towards their children. Such parents may not express their love towards their kids by hugging, kissing or by any other ways. They may have an indifferent attitude towards their child.</li><li>Less Involvement in child activities -&nbsp;Because of a lack of affection, uninvolved parents aren’t interested in their child’s schoolwork, activities, or events. They might skip their sports games or fail to show up for school meetings.</li><li>Abuse and Drug addicted -&nbsp;If parents are addicted to alcohol, drugs or other abusive substances then they fail in their responsibilities. Parents with substance abuse affect a child’s growth as they do not involve themselves with their children. In some cases, if parents lose their jobs, and come under financial constraints, then kids may have to drop out of school, or lack nutrition, among other things.</li></ol> &nbsp;Effects on Children Uninvolved parenting style may affect a child in more than one way, and some of the effects of neglectful parenting on a child may include the following:<ul><li>A child&nbsp;may feel lost and directionless.</li><li>The child may&nbsp;struggle to find his identity&nbsp;and may often be&nbsp;too timid.</li><li>Increased risk of&nbsp;substance abuse.</li><li>Lack of affection and attention can lead to&nbsp;low self-esteem.</li><li>Have difficulty in social gathering due to&nbsp;lack of social skills.</li><li>More likely to have symptoms of&nbsp;depression.</li><li>Poor academic performance due to&nbsp;mental tolerance.</li></ul> Pros of Uninvolved Parenting Uninvolved parents typically lack a discipline style. So, unless a child's behaviour affects them, these parents don't usually offer any type of correction. They allow the child to act how they want. And these parents don't get upset when their child performs poorly in school or with other activities. Cons of Uninvolved ParentingGiving excessive leniency may have significant negative consequences. Let’s see what the drawbacks of uninvolved parenting are: Lack of Confidence -&nbsp;Parents gives children the confidence to face the challenges. Unfortunately, children raised through uninvolved parenting lack this confidence and bravery. They usually have low self-esteem and are consequently uncertain about their own ability to face and deal with different situations. The absence of parental support and love also makes them feel insecure, thus making them worried over the smallest of things.Low self-esteem-&nbsp;One major disadvantage of uninvolved parenting is that these children don’t develop an emotional connection with their uninvolved parent. A lack of affection and attention at a young age can lead to low self-esteem or emotional neediness in other relationships.Mentally Stressed -&nbsp;In the absence of love and nurturing from the parent, these children may not learn the value of time. They might spend too much time watching television or playing online games.Social Skills -&nbsp;Children of uninvolved parents may have difficulties with social interactions outside the home because parents rarely communicate or engage their children.Emotional imbalance -&nbsp;Children who do not have limits set on their behaviour can have difficulty regulating their emotions, especially when their needs are not met.

Uninvolved parents tend to have little knowledge of what their children are doing. There tend to be few rules. Children may not receive much guidance, nurturing, and parental attention.

Uninvolved Parenting

Before asking them to stop shouting, identify from where they learned it. Usually, children learn such behaviour from home itself or from their surroundings. If as a parent, you are yelling at your child, the first thing you need to do is stop shouting at your child. Child models your behaviour. What they see, they learn. If you have screamed at your child for a certain thing, they learn that screaming at people gets the task done. Once they learn to yell, it's difficult for them to unlearn. Steps you can take to stop your child from yelling: <ul><li>Face to face communication: Whenever you talk to your child, look them in the eye and calmly convey your message. Do not make faces. Stop staring and glaring at them. Always, go near to your child or call them near and then talk calmly. Do not show a frustrated or angry face or use abusive language.</li><li>Use a timetable to avoid conflict: When the time table is pre-decided there are fewer chances of conflict and anger and frustration. Gradually, the child develops the habit of accepting the time frames for particular activities and follows it. Stay flexible and understanding if your child fails to follow the timetable once in a while.</li><li>Walk out of the argument: In instances where the child is yelling, tell them, “It is not right to shout and yell at others. Let’s calm down and then talk”. Don’t sound stubborn but be firm.</li><li>Set an example: Yes! We know the situation is frustrating and triggering for you, but this is your test. Maintain your calm and composure during the argument. This may seem difficult but with practice, you will learn it too.</li></ul> In cases of toddler’s yelling there are few points that need to be considered:<ul><li>Toddlers scream just to check their ability to scream and experiment. It might be a fun thing for them.</li><li>Sometimes they yell to grab attention or to have a toy. In short, they yell to show the power and make you believe that you either fulfil their wish or they will shout and get it. In such cases, if you do what they ask just to escape their shouting, you are making a huge mistake. Be firm and calmly tell them whatever they do, you would only listen to them when they lower your voice.</li><li>At times they might be really uncomfortable in some situations so always make it a point to first ask them the issue and then respond accordingly.</li></ul>

Shouting only makes matters worse, be it you or your child.

Dealing with a constantly shouting child

When our kids are asking such questions, it's time to consider the importance of such conversations. Do not panic or get aggressive when your child asks any question which is related to his/her body parts. It is totally normal for a child to ask any such questions. This comes out of their curiosity or from something they have heard or seen or read.Before providing any information, ensure it to be age-appropriate and consider your child’s individual maturity and sensitivity. Consider the following points while talking to them: <ol><li>Talk about it: Grab any opportunity that comes up naturally or you utilise bathing time or dressing time. Give them little pieces of information on body parts. Instead of directly pointing to their private parts, show them the importance of each body part and within the conversation, you can include the concept of private parts. That would look natural and normal to them. It sends them a message that talking about private parts is not something that is shameful. Introduce them to the real names of private parts like penis, vagina, vulva, and buttocks so they can talk to you or the doctor when they need to.</li><li>Safety and consent: Make them understand the concept of private parts like mouth, breast (chest), penis, vagina, vulva, buttocks. Let them know it is for their safety and no one should touch their private parts without their consent. You can explain to them that mom and dad can help them wash their private parts and at times doctors and nurses can touch them with a parent by their side for clinical purposes. Other than that no one is allowed to see and touch their private parts.</li><li>Stay calm and deal wisely: Whenever your child has such a question about private parts or nudity, explain them calmly and wisely. Explain to them that they can talk about it but in personal space with someone they trust.</li><li>Emphasise that these parts are called private parts because they belong to them. Tell them that privacy needs to be maintained. One must set boundaries and likewise respect boundaries too. Explain to them that even they should not be touching or seeing any one’s private parts.</li><li>Stay open: As a parent, stay open for your children so they can come to you at any time and ask whatever they want to. Make them feel comfortable, safe and secure.</li><li>Good touch, bad touch: Explain the difference between good touch and bad touch. Hugging, holding hands, kissing on the forehead, patting shoulders comes as a good touch. While if anyone tries to kiss their mouth, touches their private parts, gets closer to them inappropriately and forcibly tries to embrace them, it comes under the bad touch.</li><li>Control their media exposure: Be vigilant about the media they are consuming. Video games, TV shows and movies- these all are going to have some impact on your child.</li><li>Keep talking and inquiring on a regular basis about what is happening in your child’s life. Do not laugh or giggle. Do not react with anger. Do not make them feel ashamed. Listen to your child’s responses and reactions.</li></ol>

Talking about private parts and sex has always been uncomfortable for parents more than children. Relax, it is going to be easy.

Talking about private parts with your child

Samiksha Choithani

Drowning can happen almost anywhere with any child, remember children can even drown in just an inch of water. Whenever you plan to take a trip which includes water activities, take proper precautions. You should keep an eye on the child at all times. If the child is too young, an adult should accompany him/her all the time. Take inflatables tubes with you which are very useful for young children. Take the following measures in a drowning emergency:<ul><li>Immediately pull the child out of water.</li><li>Start CPR quickly once the child in on floor – CPR is Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation, it is an emergency lifesaving procedure performed when the heart stops beating. Immediate CPR can double or triple chances of survival after cardiac arrest. CPR can be performed by Pushing hard and fast in the centre of the chest.</li><li>Keep your ear near the child’s mouth and check whether the child is breathing, if you feel air on your cheek and see the chest moving (not too fast) the situation can be under control.</li><li>If the child is not breathing, place the child on his/her back on floor or bench or any firm surface around&amp; gently press the back</li><li>If you feel it is a head injury, try to move the entire portion (head, neck and spine) in full circle.</li><li>Put your mouth over the child’s mouth and blow in child’s mouth for a second, the child’s chest should blow up while you do this, repeat this if required.</li><li>It should be in the count of 2 blows followed by 30 chest compressions.</li><li>If it is a serious case of an emergency, repeat this until the emergency van arrives.</li></ul>

Chances of drowning can be kept at the minimum by being completely prepared at all times.

Emergency situation with children: Drowning

You can take the following points into consideration while handling and dealing with a child whose loved one has died in the family: <ul><li>Talk straight and clear but with care and compassion. For example, if you want to disclose that the child’s grandpa has died, tell them, “I have some bad news for you, your grandpa died yesterday night due to a heart attack”. Take a pause; let the child understand what it means.</li><li>On hearing such news, different kids may have different reactions. Some children go silent, some might ask questions and some might even start crying. Be sure to stay around and in case you can’t be around, hand over your child to someone who is close to him/her like. Give them warm hugs and cuddle with them if they feel like. Give them some time.</li><li>If your child is old enough to understand, you can explain to him/her the reason behind the death, for example, if grandpa died due to heart attack, explain that people can die of physical illness. When their heart stops working they can die.</li><li>Prepare your child beforehand about things that are about to happen. For example prepare them for funerals, burials, and people coming for prayers and condolences. Let them have some idea about what they can expect for a few days in the family and in the house.</li><li>Talk about rituals and what happens during that ritual. How are people going to greet or what they might say, “My condolences or I am sorry for your loss are a few polite words people may say. We should thank them for coming”.</li><li>Give them time to heal for the loss and during that time stay around and make them comfortable to express in whatever ways they want.</li><li>Help your child to feel better by remembering the dead loved one and their happy stories with the child.</li><li>Make your child realise that death is irreversible, people don’t come back once they die. But we can always cherish their memories.</li><li>To explain the concept of death, take some examples from nature’s cycle. Show them some dead butterfly on the porch or some dead plant and explain how this dead animal or plant can’t take any food or water. Likewise, tell them that dead people can’t breathe, can’t take food or water and they won’t be around us anymore.</li><li>Do not try to protect your child from pain. Tell them the truth. When you explain it clearly, with care and compassion, they learn to deal with it gradually.</li><li>If you feel that your child is not coping after your many efforts, you can take them to a counsellor, who can certainly help your child.</li></ul>

Such times can be very difficult with a little one around. It is important to take their feelings into consideration.

Handling a child when someone passes away in the family

Dr Aliraza Khunt

Sleep walking is common in kids; Most kids outgrow it by they reach their teens. Sleep walking usually lasts between five to fifteen minutes. The child would not remember a thing they did while sleepwalking. If your child is sleep walking, never try to wake them in the middle of the movement as it can aggravate the situation. Just gently get them back on bed with guided instructions or holding their hand to get them back. Causes of sleepwalking:<ul><li>Lack of sleep or the child is too tired</li><li>If the child has irregular sleep schedules</li><li>In case of fever or other illness</li><li>It may occur due to some medication</li><li>Stress could also cause sleepwalking</li><li>Inheritance (family history)</li></ul> What happens during sleep walking:<ul><li>They are sleep talking.</li><li>They seem dazed.</li><li>They look confused.</li><li>They won’t respond to you.</li><li>They might keep rubbing their eyes or fussing with clothes.</li><li>Their eyes are open but they don’t see things the same way they do when they are awake.</li></ul> If your child is sleep walking, you can prevent it by following these simple tips:<ul><li>Do not give sugar or coffee before sleeping.</li><li>Have a cool atmosphere in the room – preferably 25 degrees.</li><li>Avoid giving water or fluids before bed time and make sure they go to toilet (empty their bladder) before going to bed.</li><li>Bed room should be dark, quiet and comfortable for a perfect sleep.</li><li>Sleep on same time daily.</li></ul> Apart from these precautions, it is also advisable to take safety measures if your child sleep walks:<ul><li>Lock the doors and windows at night.</li><li>Keep alarms on doors and windows.</li><li>Keeping hazardous things out of reach.</li><li>Sleep walker should not sleep on bunk bed.</li><li>Install safety gates on staircase.</li></ul> Risk levels of Sleepwalking:<ol><li>Harmless- like sitting up</li><li>Potentially dangerous- like wandering outside</li><li>Inappropriate- like opening a closet door and peeing in it.</li></ol> Severity of this condition:It is not harmful but hazardous as they might run into doors or walk down the stairs, fall and hurt themselves. There is nothing wrong with your child’s emotional or psychological well-being. It does not cause any emotional harm. When to see a doctor:<ul><li>When this becomes a regular episode.</li><li>When your child stays sleepy all day.</li><li>When he or she either harms him/herself or others in sleep.</li><li>Consult a psychologist in extreme behavioural pattern to check whether there is any specific brain activity responsible for this.</li></ul>

Sleep walking is common in kids; Most kids outgrow it by they reach their teens.

Managing Sleep Walking Habit in Children

Dr Ajab Primuswala

If you are separated, it means the child is staying with one of the parents. For positive co-parenting, talk about the positives of your partner so that the child does not develop any negativity about the parent with whom (s)he not staying.Separation results because both the partners cannot work things out smoothly. But just because you could not form a positive rapport with your partner, does not mean that your child will also be not able to stay with your partner. Both the parents need to realise that inflicting negative thoughts about each other is not the way to co-parent. <ul><li>When your child is young, divide the child’s time equally between both the parents. Plan outings where child gets to spend the time with both the parents. This will also give you a chance to understand each other’s parenting opinions and styles. As the child grows, let the child decide that with whom (s)he wants to stay.</li><li>If the reason behind your separation was your partner’s physical or verbal abuse, only then keep a tab about how the time your child spends with your partner affects the child.</li><li>If you observe that your partner’s behaviour is affecting your child negatively, talk to this about your child and voice your concern to them. Once you have talked to your child only then take the necessary steps of say reducing the time your child spends with your partner or anything which you seem fit for your child.</li></ul>

Co-parenting after separation can be difficult to manage but it needs to be worked out between the husband and the wife for the sake of the child.

playpens parenting concerns

Parenting issues are a part of the everyday parenting journey. Following article(s) might help you with your concern(s).