Palak Vyas

Around the age of 2, most kids start showing interest in learning alphabets. You can use the following learning methods for your child: <ol><li>Singing the alphabet song: You can sing the alphabet songs for them and gradually they will learn to sing with you. You can also play action song on alphabets or just play audio whenever they are playing around. Children love to sing and dance along and that's how they learn things quickly.</li><li>Reading all alphabet books that you can find: The more you repeat, the more they repeat with you and the better is the learning. Provide them with different alphabet books so they don’t get bored with reading the same one. Make sure that the books show different things for one alphabet. Example: Not all books should contain “A for Apple”; “A for aeroplane”, “A for almond”, and so on should be included in the books. This will help your child in the long run.</li><li>Tracing the letters: Books for tracing the letters are readily available in the market. A child uses his/her fingers to trace the letters. The letter cards tell the child where to start and in which direction to trace. You can make such cards at home too. To make it interesting, help your child dip their finger in watercolour and then trace the letters.</li><li>Make alphabet shapes with your child using sand on a flat surface.</li><li>Use clay to make alphabet shapes with your child. This will improve their fine motor skills and sense of touch along with learning alphabets.</li><li>ABC cookies, ABC pancakes are also available in the market.</li></ol> Important Note: If the child knows the alphabet names, it becomes easy for them to learn the sounds of letters. Always start with teaching upper case letters because they are easier than the lower case ones.

Every child learns on its own pace. You can slowly introduce your child to new concepts but never be impatient to teach them everything at once.

Teaching alphabets to children

Many children are particular about not sharing their toys with others. This is because toys are the only things which they feel is their possession. And as they feel it’s their possession, they tend to not share them with people they do not know. They are reluctant to share their toys with unknown people because they are worried if someone might break them. Such a tendency is normal. But you can always teach them that sharing is caring. Help them understand that sharing is the first step towards new friendships. If your child does not share his/her toys even with the ones they know and trust, try to talk to them and understand the reason behind that. Explain to them that it is alright to share personal toys with the people they trust. If they share theirs, their friends will also share toys. This will result in more toys and more enjoyment. Do not force them to share their toys. They will take time and it is okay. Do not negatively inculcate anything in them. For example, never say “if you don’t share your toys, we will not buy more for you”.

Most kids are possessive by nature. Observe carefully where there possession ends.

Child does not share toys

Ravina Sewani

Most eye injuries are minor, like getting soap in the eye or a speck of dirt under the eyelid. Getting chilli in the eye has to be the most irritating one. Before you comfort your child, properly wash your hands clean with soap and water. Remember, that no soap remains in your hand. Symptoms of eye injuries:<ul><li>Redness around or in the eye</li><li>Stinging or burning</li><li>Watering</li><li>Sensitivity to light</li><li>Blurred vision</li><li>Swelling of the eyelids</li><li>Discoloration around the eye</li></ul> Chilli in eye:<ul><li>If your child has got chilli in the eye, (s)he will experience burning sensation in the eye and the eye will turn red.</li><li>To relieve your child, you need to grab the milk from the refrigerator.</li><li>Soak a paper towel in milk and then gently pat (don’t rub) around the child’s eye. Let the milk-soaked paper towel then rest gently on your child’s eye.</li><li>Once your child is relieved from the immediate pain, pour a few drops of milk in your child’s eyes to calm down the rest of the burn. Then soak another paper towel in the milk and gently pat around the eye.</li><li>Milk is more effective than water so if you have milk available, it is better not to go for water.</li></ul> When an irritant enters the eye like sand or dirt: If you think your child has a particle in the eye or a minor irritation:<ul><li>Wash your hands before touching the eye area.</li><li>Flush the eye with water as soon as possible.</li><li>Tilt your child's head over a basin with the injured eye pointed down.</li><li>Gently pull down the lower lid.</li><li>Gently pour a steady stream of lukewarm (not hot) water over the eye.</li><li>Flush the eye for up to 15 minutes, checking every 5 minutes to see if the particle has been flushed out or not.</li></ul> When there is a foreign body embedded in the eye: This happens when an object reaches the globe of the eye. If an object, such as a piece of glass or metal, is sticking out of the eye, take the following steps:<ul><li>Call for emergency medical help.</li><li>Cover the affected eye with a small cup taped in place. The point is to keep all pressure off the eye.</li></ul> In case of Chemical Exposure:<ul><li>If your child gets a chemical in the eye and you know what it is, look on the product's container for an emergency number to call for instructions.</li><li>If you don't know what caused the irritation, flush the eye immediately with lukewarm water for 15 to 30 minutes. If both eyes are affected, flush them in the shower.</li><li>Call for emergency medical help.</li></ul> Black Eyes and Blunt InjuriesA black eye is often a minor injury. But this bruising of the eye can sometimes lead to a significant eye injury or head trauma. A visit to the doctor or an eye specialist might be needed to rule out serious injury. For a black eye:<ul><li>Apply cold compresses intermittently: 5 to 10 minutes on, 10 to 15 minutes off. If you use ice, cover it with a towel to protect the delicate skin on the eyelid.</li><li>Use cold compresses for 24 to 48 hours, then switch to applying warm compresses intermittently. This will lead to the discolouration of the injured area.</li><li>If the child is in pain, get a painkiller prescribed by the doctor.</li><li>Give an extra pillow to the child at night and encourage him or her to sleep on the uninjured side of the face (pressure can increase swelling).</li></ul> In any type of injury, call for medical help if your child has:<ul><li>Been struck in the eye with a ball or other object</li><li>Increased redness</li><li>Trouble seeing</li><li>Severe eye pain</li><li>Visible eyeball abnormality</li><li>Been exposed to chemicals</li><li>Blood in the eye</li><li>Eye discomfort</li><li>A swollen, red, or painful area around the eye or eyelid</li><li>Nausea or vomiting after an eye injury</li></ul> Prevention:Make your child wear protective gear while they play sports. Keep chemicals and other hazardous objects out of the reach of children.

Most eye injuries are minor, like getting soap in the eye or a speck of dirt under the eyelid.

Eye injury in children

Samiksha Choithani

Getting the baby out of the cradle gets challenging, especially when the child gets comfortable in the cradle. However, it is important to get them on the bed or in a cot. This is how you can break the habit of cradle: <ul><li>Make the child sleep on the lap, keep the lap moving until the child sleeps, slowly make them sleep on the bed. If the child wakes up often, do not give up. Repeat this process for three to four nights and the child will get habituated to bed.</li><li>You can make the child sleep in the cradle but once the child is in deep sleep, pick him/her from the cradle and make them sleep on the bed. If the child wakes up, don’t repeat the process. Cuddle them and make them sleep on the bed only.</li><li>Try to reduce the motion of the cradle for a week and make the child sleep on the bed every alternate day, stick on this routine for a week.</li><li>Make sure any of these patterns are to be strictly followed to break the habit of the cradle. Children will get cranky and it will get even more difficult to handle them during sleepless nights but it will only be a matter of a week or 10 days and your child will enjoy a normal sleep habit.</li></ul>

Babies love to sleep in cradle because the swaying of cradle is soothing to them.

Breaking the cradle sleep habit

Nightmares/unpleasant (bad) dreams are common among preschoolers as this is the age when they start understanding about normal fears and their imagination is highly active. These unpleasant dreams disrupt child’s sleep and causes distress. Nightmares usually occur in the middle of the night or early morning. According to science, dreams are just a representation of what has been put in our brains. If the child is watching too many violent games or action thrillers or if (s)he has had a fight with friends/family members, (s)he can have bad dreams. Sometimes a verbal fight during the day with anybody can convert into violent dream. As a child, the unpleasant dream is mostly related to ghosts, witches or may be losing both or either of the parents. When they express this, be very sure and precise about how you are going to go ahead with this information and you should assess what kind of surrounding they are being a part of. When your child gets startled and wakes up from sleep:<ul><li>The first thing to do when they wake up startled because of a bad dream, is to give them a warm hug and tell them that you are always around them and so there is no need to worry. Ask them to openly express whatever they have gone through or felt in the dream. This is the basic thing which you can do to calm your child during and after their unpleasant dream.</li><li>Switch on some lights, dark rooms are scary for children. It can help them go back to sleep.</li></ul> There are three ways of knowing whether your child is having unpleasant dreams or not:<ol><li>The first is if the child wakes up in the middle of the night and starts screaming and is disturbed.</li><li>The second if the child suddenly starts clenching his teeth in sleep. The child is irritated, restless and may keep twisting and turning through the night.</li><li>The third thing can be that the child wakes up in the morning and expresses that (s)he has had a bad dream and gives you the details.</li></ol> In all the three cases just work the following things out:&nbsp;<ol><li>What's the child’s schedule and how the child is doing what the child is doing. Is there something which the child is viewing which is not so comfortable for the child?</li><li>Keep a continuous record of the things happening because children as young as 1 or 1.5 years start observing some cartoons on the television which have negative characters coming in, which might disturb them.&nbsp;Later on, they start seeing these cartoons as a part of their dreams and get scared. So you should keep a check on the kind of media they consume.</li><li>Another possibility could be, there might be something in the surrounding which is being talked about and they are not okay with it. May be as parents, you might be discussing something negative in front of them which they are reciprocating in their dreams.</li><li>One more concern could be, whether you are fighting in front of your children. Are you taking out your anger or rage in front of them? The child may start channelising your anger in their dreams. They may dream about ghosts or death and if they are expressing any such thing, you can analyse those expressions.</li></ol> Here are a few ways to avoid nightmares:<ul><li>Have a regular bed time schedule.</li><li>Try to give a sound and pleasant atmosphere to your child at home.</li><li>Snuggle your child while putting them to sleep, read good stories and talk about pleasant events.</li><li>Avoid scary movies, TV shows or threatening stories before bed time.</li><li>Also ensure that you not talking about any unpleasant event to other family members in presence of the child.</li></ul>

Nightmares/unpleasant (bad) dreams are common among preschoolers as this is the age when they start understanding about normal fears and their imagination is highly active.

Child experiencing unpleasant dreams

Aquaphobia is the fear experienced by seeing water, it can be small amount of water in the kitchen sink or a large body of water like ocean. It is not the amount but the water itself that leads to anxiety and fear.&nbsp;Aquaphobia is often mistaken for another phobia called hydrophobia. Even though they both involve water, aquaphobia and hydrophobia aren’t the same. Hydrophobia is an aversion to water that develops in humans during the later stages of rabies. Physical Symptoms:<ul><li>Sweating</li><li>Trembling</li><li>Hot flushes or chills</li><li>Shortness of breath or difficulty breathing</li><li>A choking sensation</li><li>A rapid heartbeat</li><li>Tightness in the chest</li><li>Upset stomach</li><li>Headaches and dizziness</li><li>Feeling faint</li><li>Numbness or pins and needles</li><li>A dry mouth&nbsp;</li><li>A need to go to the toilet</li><li>Ringing your ears</li><li>Nausea</li></ul> Psychological symptoms:<ul><li>Feeling out of touch with reality or detached from your body</li><li>Fear of fainting</li><li>Fear of losing control</li><li>Fear of dying</li></ul> Causes:Aquaphobia is often caused by a traumatic event during childhood, such as a near-drowning. Diagnosis:<ul><li>A mental health expert can diagnose phobia; keep a regular track of your child’s behaviour/health in particular situations and with objects.</li><li>Phobia diagnosis is based on diagnostic guidelines and a thorough clinical interview. If you feel that your child has a phobia, take him/her to a healthcare expert. Your child's doctor will either ask you or your child about the symptoms. The doctor might also take a medical, psychiatric, and family history.</li><li>Your child's doctor might also use the diagnostic criteria in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5).</li></ul> Treatment:<ul><li>Exposure Therapy: During this type of therapy, your child will be repeatedly exposed to the source of the phobia — in this case, water. As (s)he is exposed to water, your child's therapist will keep track of his/her reactions, thoughts, feelings, and sensations in order to help him/her manage their anxiety. Mind well, that this method should only be used in the presence of a mental healthcare expert as these can trigger panic attacks or severe anxiety. In the later stages of this treatment, your child may decide to work with a specially trained swim instructor who can help him/her learn to feel comfortable with swimming.</li><li>Conditioning Therapy: With cognitive behavioral therapy, you’ll learn to challenge your thoughts and beliefs about your fear of water. As you learn to challenge your fears, you’ll also develop strategies to cope with those thought patterns and beliefs.</li><li>Modelling: In this method the child sees other person facing the situation without fear and panic.</li><li>Virtual reality (VR): It's a treatment where your child will be exposed to computer simulations of water bodies. Getting the experience of a water body in the virtual world can help your child get over his/her fear in a setting that feels safe.</li><li>Medicines like tranquillisers and antidepressants (prescribed by a doctor) can be helpful along with the above treatments.</li></ul>

Aquaphobia is the fear experienced by seeing water.

Aquaphobia - Symptoms, Causes, Diagnosis, Treatment

It is difficult to know what’s going on in a child’s mind because they contemplate things differently than adults. It becomes all the more difficult because they cannot express their thoughts, feelings, and emotions in words as their vocabulary is not fully developed. Parents want to know what’s going on with their child because they are concerned about their children and want to help them. When children speak out their mind, it's easy to decipher what they are thinking but when they suddenly discontinue sharing, try to hide things, or avoid telling you the full story, it becomes a matter of concern. During such phases parents can try to observe their child closely. Observe their behaviour and listen to their conversations with friends and family. Observe their body language. Make them comfortable and try to talk to them with love and compassion. Give them the assurance that they can talk about everything to you and you won’t be mad at them or judge them. Make them feel safe and secure, make them feel heard and seen for who they are. In cases, where a child is being molested by some friend or family member, they tend to go silent and try to hide things from you out of fear. Likewise, when they are bullied or suppressed or shocked, they need your love, care and support. Stand by their side and listen to them. When you have gained their trust, they will open up with you and you won’t have to wonder what is running on their minds.

Be very observant of how your child behaves, that should help you understand your child better.

Decoding your child’s psyche

You may be coping up with financial challenges of managing your career or climbing up the corporate ladder, parenting is something where most people are stuck. Raising a child with both parents working is indeed a challenging task. But, do not worry, a research shows that having a working mother has no impact on children’s happiness in adulthood. Also, children of working mums and dads are often successful in their later careers. The key here is to divide the household chores and child’s responsibilities equally among both the partners. For example if the mother is cooking food, the father should help with the dishes or vice versa. Similarly, if there’s a meeting or function to be attended in the child’s school, both the parents should do it alternatively. It should fall on to any one of the parents’ shoulders. Things to take into consideration here are:<ul><li>Work timings of both the parents: Say for example if the father has to report to work early in the morning, it is obvious that he won’t be able to take up the household chores in the morning. If the child has to go to school in the morning, the mother will have to look after that if she has the time in hand.</li><li>Work profile of both the parents: Say for example, if the work profile of the mother is stronger than the father and requires more time, then the free time that the mother gets should be first devoted to the child and then to the household chores. Or the mother can opt to do the household chores along with the child. This will help her to bind with the child better.&nbsp;</li><li>Both the partners should be mature enough to understand the above two points and work in the direction in which both the parents get equal amount of quality time to spend with the child.</li><li>Make sure that the time which you are spending with the child should be quality time. play family games post dinner, go for a walk together. A weekly ritual of spending the day on a day off also does wonders. Take the opportunity to learn about their interests, what is going on in their schools and classes, how are things with their friends, if there is anything that’s bothering them, etc.</li><li>In all these, do not forget to spend alone time with your partner. You both are each other’s strongest pillars. Once in a while, plan family outings so everyone is just having fun with each other by leaving behind the worries.</li><li>If your partner is not helping you share the responsibilities of the house and of the child, talk to your partner calmly and make them understand that you cannot do this single handed and it might take a toll on your mental health.</li><li>Make them understand that for healthy family dynamics, you will need their full support in everything.</li><li>In case if you are not able to sort it out, you can take counsellor’s help to resolve the situation between both of you.</li></ul> What can be done to reduce the burden on working parents other than sharing the responsibilities:<ul><li>Find a quality Day care: Find good, trustworthy, hygienic day care for your child. This will help you stay at peace and focus on your work at office. Also, ensure it offers flexible hours. In case if the grandparents are available and are ready and healthy enough to take care of your child, that option can also be considered.</li><li>Have a good morning routine: This is extremely important for working parents as a haphazard morning can spoil both your and the child’s day. Spend some time while brushing teeth together, give a long and refreshing shower, have breakfast together and a little conversation while you drop the child at school/bus/van.</li><li>Stay organised: Prepare everything a night before, pack the bag, chop vegetables, have a menu for breakfast. This will give you enough time to spend with your child.</li><li>Take good care of yourself: When you are tired and stretched, it gets difficult to manage both work and home. Have some ‘me time’ wake up a little early – exercise or go for a walk in green surroundings. A healthy body and healthy mind will keep you fit and energetic for the day.</li><li>Take help whenever required: You can always seek assistance from parents or grandparents. Offer car pooling for evening activity class on a busy day at work and arrange for a play date for children over the weekend.</li><li>Avoid planning to give equal time for both: You cannot practically do that because some days are extremely busy at work and sometimes baby’s health/education will need an extra attention. Flexibility at work and home is the key to strike the right balance.</li><li>Be a smart cook: you can boil 2 – 3 types of lentils on weekends and stuff them in refrigerator, this will save your cooking time on weekdays and spare time to spend with your kids. If your finances allow, outsource certain tasks like cleaning, cooking etc.</li><li>Discipline sleep schedule: The efforts should not be to wake up early; the efforts should be about sleeping on time. Spend more bedtime with kids and wake up early together. Share small household chores with your kid(s).</li></ul>

When both the parents are working, it becomes a tad bit difficult to manage work, household chores, and spending time with the child.

Working parents and Responsibilities

This is absolutely your personal choice. In some cultures and traditions, it is compulsory to pierce the baby's ears. Whereas in some cases people do it just for fashion. Certain points to keep in mind while getting your baby’s ears pierced: <ul><li>If you want to get your daughter’s ear pierced, get it done at an early age. Because after she grows up, it will be difficult for you to stop her from touching her ears. If her hands are dirty and she constantly touches her ears, it can lead to infection.</li><li>Piercing should be done hygienically and by professionals only.</li><li>Do not use danglers at the time of piercing because they might get tangled in your baby’s dress and may worsen the pain.</li><li>Using gold and silver studs reduces chances of any allergic reactions.</li><li>After you have gotten your child’s ears pierced, do not make them wear very heavy earrings at a young age.</li></ul>

reading parenting concerns

Parenting issues are a part of the everyday parenting journey. Following article(s) might help you with your concern(s).