Parenting is a process, not a learned behaviour. Raising a child in a nuclear family requires several measures, the most important of all being the sharing of responsibilities between both the parents equally.<ul><li>Children in a nuclear family are more confident as they are more independent compared to children raised in joint families.</li><li>A joint family offers a lot of family time, so parents in a nuclear family should properly schedule their day to assure sufficient and efficient time for kids in the family.</li><li>Being in a nuclear family brings many responsibilities on parents’ shoulders. This might drain you out, more if you are a working parent. This draining out will make you frustrated sometimes but it is very important to stay positive in front of your parents. The serious discussions can be limited to bedrooms between you and your spouse.</li><li>If you live in a nuclear family, it is important to maintain good ties with the extended family. This is because they will be at your help to look after your child when you cannot be present for your child.</li><li>Instead of relying on gadgets, invest in educational play boxes for your child which will aid your child’s intellectual development.</li><li>Involve your kids in household chores. Nothing can be a better way to spend quality time with your kids. This also develops emotional, motor, social skills in your child.</li><li>Make sure to plan outings – even to the nearest park – once in a while. This will help you ease a bit and also give your child the time to bond with you.</li></ul> In the end, it is up to parents to weigh the pros and cons of raising a child in joint and nuclear families and then decide what’s best for their child(ren).

A nuclear family or elementary family or conjugal family is essentially a family which has parents (mother and father) and children.

Parenting in a nuclear or conjugal family

A nuclear family or elementary family or conjugal family is essentially a family which has parents (mother and father) and children.

Parenting in a nuclear family

<ul><li>Make sure to get your child fully checked before the winter starts.</li><li>Make sure that all heating appliances like geysers &amp; heaters are in working condition.</li><li>Adequate warm clothing is essential but makes sure to NOT over-dress your baby as it can be extremely uncomfortable for him/her. Several thin layers will keep them dry and warm. Always remember to make them warm boots, gloves or mittens, and a hat. The rule of thumb for older babies and young children is to dress them in one more layer of clothing than an adult would wear in the same conditions.</li><li>Give warm water baths to your child. Make sure that there is a balance between the bathroom and the bedroom temperature so that your child does not get uncomfortable after the bath.</li><li>There should be no gusts of cold winds when you are bathing your baby.</li><li>Give adequate necessary vitamins and nutrients essential for proper growth to your child.</li><li>When riding/travelling in a car, make them wear thin, snug layers rather than thick, bulky coats or snowsuits.</li><li>Use sleep clothing for babies like warm one-piece sleepers or wearable blankets instead of loose bedding like blankets, quilts, pillows, bumpers, and sheepskins as they are a cause of suffocating deaths.</li><li>If a blanket must be used to keep a sleeping infant warm, it should be thin and tucked under the crib mattress, reaching only as far as the baby's chest.</li><li>Prevent cold and flu by getting kids to:</li></ul>-Use soap and water: Washing their hands frequently will reduce the spread of germs.-Cover their mouth: Sneezing or coughing into the bend of their elbows also helps prevent the spreading of germs.-Get immunised: Keep vaccinations current, including the flu shot.<ul><li>Include soup in your baby’s diet. A healthy soup in cold weather will keep your baby warm.</li><li>Maintain your own hygiene: Make sure to wash and sanitise your hands before you attend to your baby every time. You need to stay healthy so that your child does not catch any infections because of you.</li><li>Use a Humidifier: When using a heating apparatus during winters it could rob the room of water vapour, making the air dry as well as your child’s skin. Hence, install a humidifier in the room so that the moisture levels are maintained.</li><li>Make use of a moisturiser for your baby as your little one's skin will be extremely sensitive and the harsh atmosphere of the winter can make it dry. Opt for skin creams or moisturisers that are made for the baby’s skin.</li><li>Protect your child from hypothermia. Hypothermia develops when a child's temperature falls below normal due to exposure to colder temperatures. As hypothermia sets in, the child may shiver and become lethargic and clumsy.&nbsp;Speech may become slurred.</li><li>If you suspect your child is hypothermic, call for an emergency at once. Until help arrives, take the child indoors, remove any wet clothing, and wrap him/her in blankets or warm clothes.</li><li>Another thing to keep your baby safe from is frostbite. Frostbite happens when the skin and outer tissues become frozen.&nbsp;This condition tends to happen on extremities like the fingers, toes, ears and nose.&nbsp;They may become pale, grey and blistered. At the same time, the child may complain that his/her skin burns or has become numb.</li><li>If you suspect frostbite, bring the child indoors and place the frostbite parts of his/her body in warm (not hot) water. Warm washcloths may be applied to frostbitten noses, ears and lips. Do not rub the frozen areas. After a few minutes, dry and cover the child with clothing or blankets. Give him/her something warm to drink. If the numbness continues for more than a few minutes, call your doctor.</li></ul>

Taking the right precautionary steps before the arrival of any season will keep your baby safe and healthy.

Winter Precautions for Babies

Taking the right precautionary steps before the arrival of any season will keep your baby safe and healthy.

Precautions for Babies During the Winter Season

A few things said in haste messes up a child's brain and have a considerable impact psychologically, like low self-confidence, self-doubt, anxiety, depression, and so much more. Throughout your parenting journey, make sure you are not saying things or acting out in a way that could damage your child(ren) mentally. Sometimes parents are not aware that their actions affect their child(ren) negatively, and sometimes parents overlook it and justify their bad behaviour due to their stress. Here are a few practices which you should avoid telling your child(ren): Pick these up right now. I don't want you leaving a mess like that again.Instead, say:&nbsp;I don't like this mess you are leaving. Can you please clean this up when you have time? You should know better.Instead, say:&nbsp;It's OK not to know some things. Here, I will help you out. You're a bad kid.Instead, say:&nbsp;Can you tell me why you behaved/acted in such a way? I feel it wasn't right, is there anything you want to talk about? Or Else.&nbsp;Example: Eat dinner, or else you won't get your dessert.Instead, say:&nbsp;How about you take a healthy dinner quickly so that we can all enjoy dessert together?&nbsp; Stop being shy.Instead, say:&nbsp;You can come to say hi to your aunt when you are ready. You should set a good example for your brother.Instead, say:&nbsp;Your brother looks up to you; you're such a good role model. Wait until your father/mother gets home.Instead, say:&nbsp;You're grounded because you said a bad word. I will never forgive you.Instead, say:&nbsp;What you did was not acceptable, but we can look past it and move on if you think the next time. I'm ashamed of you.Instead, say:&nbsp;Although I feel bad about what you did, I love you for who you are. Don't worry; everything will be OK.Instead, say:&nbsp;Mom and Dad are always nearby, and we're going to set up a plan in case of emergency. Here, I'll do it.Instead, say:&nbsp;Let's do it together!" Don't cryInstead, say:&nbsp;I know you're sad, and it's OK to cry. It's OK to let out your emotions. Let me hug you. If you don't clean your room, you're going to be in big trouble.Instead, say:&nbsp;When your room is clean, then you may go out to play. Family finances aren't your business.Instead, say:&nbsp;Finances are how we make and manage money, and when you like, we will teach you what we know. I'm disappointed in you.Instead, say:&nbsp;I'm surprised and was not expecting this to occur. Come here, NOW.Instead, say:&nbsp;It's almost time to go. Do you want one minute or two? Because I said so.Instead, say:&nbsp;Explaining why you feel a certain way about something. We can't afford that.Instead, say:&nbsp;We're not going to buy that because we're saving our money for more important things. Don't talk to strangers.Instead, say:&nbsp;What would you do if a man you don't know offers you candy and a ride home? OR If anyone makes you feel sad, scared, or confused, you need to tell me right away. You should listen to adults.Instead, say:&nbsp;You need to listen to your parents. Don't be greedy!Instead, say:&nbsp;Would you please be kind and share your toys with your friend? Who taught you this? (about mischief)Instead, say:&nbsp;Why did you do that? Look at this lovely girl.Instead, say:&nbsp;I love you. You can do this too. I do everything for you.Instead, say:&nbsp;We do things for you because we love you, so please do for me. Do I have to tell you this 100 times?Instead, say:&nbsp;I've told you this before, but could you please. That's only for boys/girls.Instead:&nbsp;Say nothing at all. Try your best at raising gender-neutral children. You live under my roof, so you follow my rules.Instead, say:&nbsp;You know the household rules. Please stick to them. That's how I was raised.Instead, say:&nbsp;I don't think it's a good idea to do [ ]. Even my parents used to tell me that [ ]. You're just like your mother/father!Instead say:&nbsp;I’m not happy with [ ] because [ ]. I told you so.Instead, say:&nbsp;I'm sorry to hear about [ ] ... let this be a lesson. It's just a little white lie.Instead, explain to them that it's OK to use white lies to be polite and not hurt someone's feelings. Explain to them the fine line between lies and little white lies. Man up. / Be a man.Never disregard your son's feelings. Don't teach them that showing emotions is weak. To show emotions is only human. Why can't you be more like your sister?Instead, say:&nbsp;I don't quite like this behaviour of yours. Do you think we can work on it? If you loved me, you wouldn't do (this/that).Don't teach them that love needs to be proven all the time. Love comes without ifs and buts. I wish you'd never been born. / I hate you.No matter how angry you are, this is the worst thing to say. You would be scarring your child. Why can't you do anything right?Instead, say: What's the barrier? Is there anything I can help you with? I don't believe you.Instead, say: This comes as a shock for me. But I am sure you can tell me the whole thing. There's nothing to be afraid of.Instead, say:&nbsp;Everyone has their fair share of fears. We appreciate that you shared your feelings with us. We promise we will work on this together. You're lazy/stupid/selfish.Never label your child. Never. Your friends don't do that.Comparison will never bring any positive change. Accept your child for who they are and appreciate them. You should have done better.Praise them for their achievement. Do not over expect. You don't know what you're talking about. / You're too young to know what you want.Often children know what they want or how they feel. Saying this will show your distrust in their feelings. You'll never be able to do that.Instead, encourage and push your child to do better, of course, without any comparison. You're so fat/skinny, or You're going to get fat/skinny.Never attribute a child's identity to their looks. You make me so mad.Calm your anger down, and then talk to your child(ren).&nbsp;Instead, say:&nbsp;We will talk about this after a while when I am in the right state of my mind. Impact of such phrases on children:<ol><li>Antisocial behaviour</li><li>Poor resilience</li><li>Depression</li><li>Aggression</li><li>Lack of empathy</li><li>Difficulty in relationships</li><li>Self-doubt</li><li>Lack of self-confidence</li><li>Anxiety</li></ol>

A few things said in haste messes up a child's brain and have a considerable impact psychologically, like low self-confidence, self-doubt, anxiety and so on

Speaking Gently: Things you should never say to your child

A few things said in haste messes up a child’s brain and have a huge impact psychologically.

Things You Should Never Say to Your Child

“There is no gift a parent can give his child that is better than good manners.”“Respect your children and talk to them with good manners and a likeable method.”"Whoever wishes that his children are safe from disinheritance, he should help them perform good deeds.”“The best gift from parents to their children is education and upbringing.”&nbsp;“Play with them for the first seven years of their life; then teach them for the next seven years; then advise them for the next seven years.”&nbsp;“May Allāh have mercy on the person that helps his child in doing good.”&nbsp;&nbsp;“Love children and be kind to them."&nbsp;“Treat your children fairly, treat your children fairly.”&nbsp;&nbsp;"The best thing a father provides to his child is good manners and ethical training.”&nbsp;&nbsp;“May Allah bless the parents who trained their children to behave justly with them."&nbsp;“Kiss your children profusely, because every time you kiss the child, Allah will advance your position in Heaven by one stage."&nbsp;“Maintain justice among your children in gifts, just like you would like them to be just with you in goodness and affection.”&nbsp;“Like your children and treat them with affection and kindness. When you make a promise to them, you must keep it, because children consider you their sustainer.”&nbsp;“Respect your children and give them a good upbringing that Allah blesses you."&nbsp;“Anybody who called a child, saying that he would give him a certain thing, and did not give it, speaks a lie.”&nbsp;&nbsp;“Never beat the children if they cry. Fulfil their needs. Because, for the first four months of the life of a child’, its cries are a witness to the Existence and Unity of Allah, Almighty."

Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) Hadiths On Parent-Child Relationship. The most basic and necessary manners that teach us how to raise a child. 

Prophet Muhammad Hadiths On Parent-Child Relationship Part 1

Parent-child Relationship is one of the things that is the most sacred thing in the world. Hadiths by Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) related to this beautiful relationship will tell us its importance.

Prophet Muhammad Hadiths On Parent Child Relationship Part 1

Kids tend to avoid healthy food due to the high taste levels of junk food. These activities will be a great help to develop their interest in food:<ul><li>Take them for grocery shopping.</li><li>Cook and Bake with them; there is nothing more exciting than this.</li><li>Teach them gardening - grow foods in your backyard.</li><li>Place the food on the plate in the colours of a rainbow; this way you can include all sorts of food on your child's plate. The easiest way is to prepare a food salad or a vegetable salad.</li><li>Hide vegetables and fruits in an opaque box or carry bag and ask the child to close their eyes. Then ask them to put their hand inside the bag, pick up food, feel it and then try to identify the vegetable/fruit through its texture. You can do this activity separately for vegetables and fruits to make it easier for your child.</li><li>Food obstacle course activity. Design an obstacle course in your house where you place different fruits/vegetables as obstacles. The child will have to eat a small portion of that vegetable or fruit before advancing forward. You can carry out this activity in a group and it will be a lot more fun.</li><li>Weave a story around fruits and vegetables and narrate those during their mealtime; check out food-related stories on our app.</li><li>Sing them songs/rhymes about food; you can a few songs related to food on our app.</li></ul> Keep in mind:<ul><li>Do not give them screens during mealtime; this way they will know what they are eating and will appreciate the food on their plates.</li><li>Let them have their favourite snack or dessert once in a while. But do not use them as treats for eating the food that they like less.</li></ul>

Thinking of interesting ways to present food to your child(ren) will make them eat all types of food.

Activities to encourage and develop child's interest in food

Thinking of interesting ways to present food to your child(ren) will make them eat all types of food.

Activities to develop your child interest in food

When our kids are asking such questions, it's time to consider the importance of such conversations. Do not panic or get aggressive when your child asks any question which is related to his/her body parts. It is totally normal for a child to ask any such questions. This comes out of their curiosity or from something they have heard or seen or read.Before providing any information, ensure it to be age-appropriate and consider your child’s individual maturity and sensitivity. Consider the following points while talking to them: <ol><li>Talk about it: Grab any opportunity that comes up naturally or you utilise bathing time or dressing time. Give them little pieces of information on body parts. Instead of directly pointing to their private parts, show them the importance of each body part and within the conversation, you can include the concept of private parts. That would look natural and normal to them. It sends them a message that talking about private parts is not something that is shameful. Introduce them to the real names of private parts like penis, vagina, vulva, and buttocks so they can talk to you or the doctor when they need to.</li><li>Safety and consent: Make them understand the concept of private parts like mouth, breast (chest), penis, vagina, vulva, buttocks. Let them know it is for their safety and no one should touch their private parts without their consent. You can explain to them that mom and dad can help them wash their private parts and at times doctors and nurses can touch them with a parent by their side for clinical purposes. Other than that no one is allowed to see and touch their private parts.</li><li>Stay calm and deal wisely: Whenever your child has such a question about private parts or nudity, explain them calmly and wisely. Explain to them that they can talk about it but in personal space with someone they trust.</li><li>Emphasise that these parts are called private parts because they belong to them. Tell them that privacy needs to be maintained. One must set boundaries and likewise respect boundaries too. Explain to them that even they should not be touching or seeing any one’s private parts.</li><li>Stay open: As a parent, stay open for your children so they can come to you at any time and ask whatever they want to. Make them feel comfortable, safe and secure.</li><li>Good touch, bad touch: Explain the difference between good touch and bad touch. Hugging, holding hands, kissing on the forehead, patting shoulders comes as a good touch. While if anyone tries to kiss their mouth, touches their private parts, gets closer to them inappropriately and forcibly tries to embrace them, it comes under the bad touch.</li><li>Control their media exposure: Be vigilant about the media they are consuming. Video games, TV shows and movies- these all are going to have some impact on your child.</li><li>Keep talking and inquiring on a regular basis about what is happening in your child’s life. Do not laugh or giggle. Do not react with anger. Do not make them feel ashamed. Listen to your child’s responses and reactions.</li></ol>

Talking about private parts and sex has always been uncomfortable for parents more than children. Relax, it is going to be easy.

Talking about private parts with your child

Samiksha Choithani

Air travel with kids can be challenging for parents of young children. But, remember they are exploring every time they experience a unique situation they are sure to react.Here are some tricks that can help you to keep your calm and happy during the travel:<ul><li>Some children, even adults experience pain in ears while take off if that is the case with your child give them a glass of warm water and guide them to sip it slowly this will help to reduce the pain. Keep talking to them and never insert ear buds in this situation.</li><li>You can also keep a surprise toy in the hand bag and give them a surprise, this will keep them busy throughout the transit.</li><li>Have some story books with you, read them a story or you can tell them stories about the place you are visiting, people you will meet etc.</li><li>If the child is on breast feed, give them proper just before the flight. If the child is hungry he/she is sure to get cranky due to delayed feedings.</li></ul>

Air travel with kids can be challenging for parents of young children. Be patient with them as they are always on the quest of exploring new things.

Travelling with a child in an airplane

Early years of childhood have a great impact in grooming stable and successful adults. Mentally strong children are prepared to tackle complex problems, fight with failures and cope up with challenges as they grow-up. However, mental strength should not be misunderstood, it does not mean the child will never cry or always be an obedient toddler. It means raising an independent child who can deal with self-doubts by identifying the consequences of one’s own decisions. Here is how you can raise mentally strong children: <ul><li>Help them to manage their feelings. Instead of saying “It is okay to get angry, not a big deal” say that “It is normal to lose temper, but hitting your friend is not right”. Feelings are natural; parents should teach children about how to deal with those feelings.</li><li>Teach them to cope up with their emotions. When the child is sad – instead of distracting them through means like giving chocolates, try to help them identify what makes them happy. Children may find happiness in painting/colouring or music or outdoor play.</li><li>Let them solve their own problems or learn from their mistakes, for e.g. if the child has a problem while playing with friends, do not interfere, let them have disagreements. Discuss about the problem and jot down 5 solutions and let the child choose the best. If the child is trying to learn a sport, for e.g. cycling or skating let them fall (in a safe zone) and identify strategies to ride safe next time. Let them forget their books or homework for a day and be responsible for their mistakes, natural consequences of mistakes can be the best teacher.</li><li>Be the change you want to see in the child, say “I feel upset with my bad day at work, but let me figure out how it can be normal and exciting tomorrow”. You might be tired after a hectic day at work but you can say “I know I am tired but let me quickly prepare dinner and play with you rather than sitting idle or checking messages on my phone.”</li></ul> These small practices will go a long way a develop a stable emotional and mental state for your child in the long run.

Early years of childhood have a great impact in grooming stable and successful adults.

Raising a mentally strong child

Fatherhood is a biological and an emotional sea of changes. Starting a few months before childbirth, testosterone levels lower as prolactin, vasopressin and other hormones increase rewiring a man’s brain to prepare him for fatherhood. Entire area of man’s brain grows and develops in response to hormonal changes in the first year of a child's life, which allows him to care for a newborn. There is an increased sensitivity to crying, a deeper capacity to bond emotionally and a greater responsiveness to another’s needs. Men and women can experience depression very differently. Symptoms which might indicate poor mental health of a father:<ol><li>Increased anger and conflict with others</li><li>Increased use of alcohol</li><li>Frustration or irritability</li><li>Violent behaviour</li><li>Significant weight gain or loss</li><li>Isolation from family and friends</li><li>Being easily stressed</li><li>Increase in complaints about physical problems, like headaches, digestion problems, fatigue</li><li>Problems with concentration or motivation</li><li>Loss of interest in work, hobbies and/or sex</li><li>Working constantly</li><li>Self doubt</li></ol> Some of the factors that can contribute to depression in new or soon-to-be fathers include:<ol><li>Personal history of depression</li><li>Family history of depression</li><li>Worries about being a parent</li><li>Feeling overwhelmed with expectations in your role at work and your role as a father</li><li>Financial problems</li><li>Lack of social and/or emotional support</li><li>Stress in relationship with family or spouse</li><li>Missing attention and/or sex from partner</li><li>Lack of sleep after the baby is born</li><li>Feeling excluded from the bond between mother and baby</li></ol> Diagnosis:Your mental healthcare professional will ask you to fill up a depression-screening questionnaire to confirm whether you have depression or not. Following are a few ways which you can follow to take care of your stress and emotions:<ol><li>Work on building stronger bond between you and your partner. Understand her needs and desires and talk about your own too. Feel free to express in front of your partner or family or friends.</li><li>Develop a support team from your family. Ask for help. Say YES when they offer.</li><li>Take time for yourself. Have some “me-time” either watching TV, going for a movie or taking a short break from work and spending time doing things you like.</li><li>Talk to other families who have experienced the same.</li><li>Spend time with your baby to develop your own confidence.</li></ol> Treatment:<ul><li>Talk Therapy: PPD is a severe form of clinical depression. Your psychiatrist might suggest you to see a counsellor who will ask you questions about your life. It is important that you answer them honestly. These sessions will help you gain a different and healthier perspective about things. Therapy is different and personalised for everyone but these are a few topics which you might touch in your sessions: your feelings, your beliefs, your behaviour, your life pre and post birth. There are 2 types of talk therapy:</li></ul><ol><li>Cognitive Behavioural Therapy: You and your counselor work together to identify, then change, thoughts and behaviors that are harmful to your mental health.</li><li>Interpersonal therapy: Your therapist helps you better understand how you behave in your relationships and how to work through any problems.</li></ol> <ul><li>Medication: Antidepressants are drugs designed to treat depression, including postpartum depression. They work on different chemicals in your brain.</li><li>Self-care: Get more sleep and exercise, eat healthy foods, do fun activities and relax. Doing these things can help to boost your mood.</li></ul>

A parent's mental health is of the top most priority when it comes to parenting. A healthy mental space leads to a happy and healthy bond between a parent and a child.

Postpartum Depression in Fathers

Ravina Sewani

When a part of the body is injured and blood from the damaged capillaries, with no place to go, gets trapped under the skin, forming a red or purplish mark called as a bruise. Bruises can happen for many reasons, but most are the result of bumping and banging into things. Fortunately, the mark isn't permanent. How long do bruises last?<ul><li>Bruises usually fade away in about 2 weeks. Over that time, the bruise changes the colour as the body breaks down and reabsorbs the blood. The colour of the bruise can give you an idea how old it is:</li><li>When a child first gets a bruise, it is reddish as the blood appears under the skin.</li><li>Within 1 or 2 days, the haemoglobin changes the colour to bluish-purple or even blackish.</li><li>After 5 to 10 days, the bruise turns greenish or yellowish.</li><li>Then, after 10 or 14 days, it turns yellowish-brown or light brown.</li><li>Finally, after about 2 weeks, the bruise fades away.</li></ul> Who gets bruises?Anyone can get a bruise. Some people bruise easily, while others don't. Bruising depends on several things:<ul><li>Toughness of the skin tissue</li><li>Certain diseases or conditions</li><li>Whether your child is taking certain medications</li><li>Elderly people bruise easily as the blood vessels tend to become fragile as people get older</li></ul> Treating a bruise:<ul><li>Apply a cold compress to your child’s bruise to help slow down the blood that's flowing to the area, which decreases the amount of blood that ends up leaking into the tissues. It also helps keep the inflammation and swelling down. All you have to do is apply cold to your child’s bruise for 15 to 20 minutes every hour for a day or two after the bruise appears.</li><li>If you are using ice instead of a cold pack, wrap it in a cloth or a towel and place it on the bruise; don't apply the ice directly to the skin.</li><li>To reduce swelling and bruising, elevate the bruised area above the level of the heart. If the bruise is on your child’s knee, make them lie down on a couch or bed and prop their leg up. This will help prevent the blood from pooling in the area because more of the blood will flow back toward your heart. If your child keeps standing, more blood will flow to his/her bruised knee and the bruise will be larger.</li></ul> Minor bruises are easily treated, but talk to a doctor if:<ul><li>A bruise isn't improving after 2 weeks.</li><li>Bruises seem to develop for no known reasons.</li><li>A bruise is swelling and is very painful for your child.</li><li>If your child can't move a joint or if they have a broken bone.</li><li>The bruise is near the eye and your child has difficulty moving his/her eyes or seeing.</li></ul> Prevention:Bruises are kind of hard to avoid completely. Make your there are no pointed furniture in the house to limit bruises for your child.Make them wear protective gear when they are playing sports, riding a bike, inline skating.

When a part of the body is injured and blood from the damaged capillaries, with no place to go, gets trapped under the skin, forming a red or purplish mark called as a bruise.

Bruises in children

Palak Vyas

Today your child might just have asked about next door kid’s toys but tomorrow (s)he might have many questions like “Why can some people go on foreign trips and why can’t we?”. “Why does that boy have such an expensive suit and I don't have it? In short, you will have to give him/her some idea about money and money matters. When you start any conversation on wealth with your child, you should start with the concept of budgeting. Give them at least a rough idea about savings and family values regarding money. Showing them a larger picture will enable them to understand whatever you will explain to them further.While you are talking about money, indirectly you are teaching them about their relationship with money. So don’t sound judgemental, bragging, jealous or envious while talking about wealth. Keep all your notions aside and give them plain information and leave it up to them to analyse and come to conclusions. Explain money in a straight and plain manner. You can tell them that some people are born rich (hereditary wealth), some people have just what they need, whereas there are some whose basic needs are not met. There are people who work very hard but they are not paid enough. It is neither easy to understand nor is it fair. You too can show your confusion over wealth distribution. You can also explain to them that it also depends on how the family decides to spend. It depends on an individual and their preferences and passion about where they want to spend money. You can teach your child to appreciate what they have instead of thinking about things they can’t have. This is very difficult even for an adult but the more you emphasise on teaching appreciation, eventually, your child learns to do so.

It is difficult to talk about money matters with children but it must be done.

Talking about money matters with children

Dr Ajab Primuswala

There can be multiple reasons behind a child not playing alone: <ol><li>The child is scared to be alone, which means (s)he doesn’t feel safe alone. (S)he is looking for a company to feel safe.</li><li>The child is seeking attention and hence wants someone to be with him/her all the time.</li><li>The child is extrovert. If your child is an extrovert, (s)he needs to be vocal and express himself/herself. (S)he will need someone to be around to share his or her views and opinions.</li><li>If your child is someone who constantly needs appreciation,&nbsp;&nbsp;(s)he feels the need to be appreciated either by elders, peers or friends and so he doesn’t want to be alone.</li><li>One of the major reasons that a child cannot play alone is low self esteem. Sometimes the child is not able to trust themselves so they seek company for every aspect, to go to school, to study and even to play.</li></ol> As a parent, you can help this situation by: <ul><li>The first thing is to understand that it is okay to allow them to play with peers or any other company. When you want your child to get accustomed to playing alone, give him/her verbal motivation like “It is okay to play alone”. “You can try making art work or craft work. Tell him/her that “I am watching over you.” “I am always around if you need anything.” “You can do this.”</li><li>These motivation will help them overcome their loneliness and give them confidence to be with themselves.</li><li>You can give them logo toys from which they can create something out of their imagination and then flaunt it later. This way they can see appreciation coming and they will be motivated to play alone often.</li><li>But also know that if the child is not okay being alone, it is fair enough to allow him to have his or her friends, peers, or guided elders around.</li></ul>

If a child is not playing alone, it does not mean (s)he is an introvert child, there can be other reasons as well.

Child does not play alone

Confidence is one of the greatest gifts that a parent can give to the child. Young children need a lot of encouragement at every stage, be it crawling, learning to walk or draw a circle.Shy kids are mostly thoughtful, self-reliant and empathetic. If your child feels a little shy in opening up with new people, try this:<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Accept the fact that your child takes some time to mingle with people but do not make statements. Accepting the child in his/her wholeness gives confidence to the child. Do not publicly make statements such as “(s)he is too shy in front of new people”.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">At the same time do not intervene when they are asked a question. It may take some time to answer, but let them try.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">You can also arrange play dates to help the child open up with social circles.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Encourage curiosity in children; never stop them from asking questions. Answering their questions empowers a child and makes the child more confident.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Boost your child’s social skills, like when in a store, encourage them to pay to cashier, let them order their own food when in a restaurant.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Praise your child for little efforts, eg when they greet guests at home. If they feel uncomfortable talking in social situations, talk about it and encourage them to try next time.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">A child learns by noticing parents, behave or talk the way you want your children to talk. Model a behaviour expected from the children.</li></ul>

A child will always stay true to his/her nature. Nonetheless, there is always room for changes and improvements.

Dealing with an introvert child

Glossophobia is the fear of public speaking. The child gets anxious and feels uncomfortable in front of a group. Early childhood experiences sometimes lead to glossophobia. Glossophobia is a subset of social phobia, the fear of social situations. Most people with glossophobia do not exhibit symptoms of other types of social phobia, such as fear of meeting new people or fear of performing tasks in front of others. In fact, many people with glossophobia are able to dance or sing on stage, provided they do not have to talk. Physical symptoms:<ul><li>Sweating</li><li>High blood pressure</li><li>Increased heart rate</li><li>Dry mouth</li><li>Difficulty breathing</li><li>Nausea</li><li>Headache</li><li>Dilated pupils</li></ul> Psychological symptoms:<ul><li>Feeling out of touch with reality or detached from your body</li><li>Fear of fainting</li><li>Fear of losing control</li><li>Fear of dying</li></ul> Causes:Negative experiences like child being judged, embarrassed, or rejected, or unpleasant situations like being given a report card in the class that didn’t go well, or a child being asked to give an unprepared presentation in class. Treatment:Reshaping negative thoughts in the child can help to treat glossophobia:<ul><li>Inculcate this thought in child’s mind “everyone can make mistakes and tend to forget while presenting”. “Failures are a path to success and it is fine if anyone fails”. Reassure your child about the fact that – “Everyone wants you to succeed”. Once you have identified fears, help your child to present or practice in small groups of family relatives or friends (not in a group of strangers).</li><li>Once the child is comfortable, encourage him/her to interact with strangers on a family outing or routine setups like interacting at a grocery store, park etc.</li></ul>

schooling parenting concerns

Parenting issues are a part of the everyday parenting journey. Following article(s) might help you with your concern(s).

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Child does not play alone

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