A few things said in haste messes up a child's brain and have a considerable impact psychologically, like low self-confidence, self-doubt, anxiety, depression, and so much more. Throughout your parenting journey, make sure you are not saying things or acting out in a way that could damage your child(ren) mentally. Sometimes parents are not aware that their actions affect their child(ren) negatively, and sometimes parents overlook it and justify their bad behaviour due to their stress. Here are a few practices which you should avoid telling your child(ren): Pick these up right now. I don't want you leaving a mess like that again.Instead, say:&nbsp;I don't like this mess you are leaving. Can you please clean this up when you have time? You should know better.Instead, say:&nbsp;It's OK not to know some things. Here, I will help you out. You're a bad kid.Instead, say:&nbsp;Can you tell me why you behaved/acted in such a way? I feel it wasn't right, is there anything you want to talk about? Or Else.&nbsp;Example: Eat dinner, or else you won't get your dessert.Instead, say:&nbsp;How about you take a healthy dinner quickly so that we can all enjoy dessert together?&nbsp; Stop being shy.Instead, say:&nbsp;You can come to say hi to your aunt when you are ready. You should set a good example for your brother.Instead, say:&nbsp;Your brother looks up to you; you're such a good role model. Wait until your father/mother gets home.Instead, say:&nbsp;You're grounded because you said a bad word. I will never forgive you.Instead, say:&nbsp;What you did was not acceptable, but we can look past it and move on if you think the next time. I'm ashamed of you.Instead, say:&nbsp;Although I feel bad about what you did, I love you for who you are. Don't worry; everything will be OK.Instead, say:&nbsp;Mom and Dad are always nearby, and we're going to set up a plan in case of emergency. Here, I'll do it.Instead, say:&nbsp;Let's do it together!" Don't cryInstead, say:&nbsp;I know you're sad, and it's OK to cry. It's OK to let out your emotions. Let me hug you. If you don't clean your room, you're going to be in big trouble.Instead, say:&nbsp;When your room is clean, then you may go out to play. Family finances aren't your business.Instead, say:&nbsp;Finances are how we make and manage money, and when you like, we will teach you what we know. I'm disappointed in you.Instead, say:&nbsp;I'm surprised and was not expecting this to occur. Come here, NOW.Instead, say:&nbsp;It's almost time to go. Do you want one minute or two? Because I said so.Instead, say:&nbsp;Explaining why you feel a certain way about something. We can't afford that.Instead, say:&nbsp;We're not going to buy that because we're saving our money for more important things. Don't talk to strangers.Instead, say:&nbsp;What would you do if a man you don't know offers you candy and a ride home? OR If anyone makes you feel sad, scared, or confused, you need to tell me right away. You should listen to adults.Instead, say:&nbsp;You need to listen to your parents. Don't be greedy!Instead, say:&nbsp;Would you please be kind and share your toys with your friend? Who taught you this? (about mischief)Instead, say:&nbsp;Why did you do that? Look at this lovely girl.Instead, say:&nbsp;I love you. You can do this too. I do everything for you.Instead, say:&nbsp;We do things for you because we love you, so please do for me. Do I have to tell you this 100 times?Instead, say:&nbsp;I've told you this before, but could you please. That's only for boys/girls.Instead:&nbsp;Say nothing at all. Try your best at raising gender-neutral children. You live under my roof, so you follow my rules.Instead, say:&nbsp;You know the household rules. Please stick to them. That's how I was raised.Instead, say:&nbsp;I don't think it's a good idea to do [ ]. Even my parents used to tell me that [ ]. You're just like your mother/father!Instead say:&nbsp;I’m not happy with [ ] because [ ]. I told you so.Instead, say:&nbsp;I'm sorry to hear about [ ] ... let this be a lesson. It's just a little white lie.Instead, explain to them that it's OK to use white lies to be polite and not hurt someone's feelings. Explain to them the fine line between lies and little white lies. Man up. / Be a man.Never disregard your son's feelings. Don't teach them that showing emotions is weak. To show emotions is only human. Why can't you be more like your sister?Instead, say:&nbsp;I don't quite like this behaviour of yours. Do you think we can work on it? If you loved me, you wouldn't do (this/that).Don't teach them that love needs to be proven all the time. Love comes without ifs and buts. I wish you'd never been born. / I hate you.No matter how angry you are, this is the worst thing to say. You would be scarring your child. Why can't you do anything right?Instead, say: What's the barrier? Is there anything I can help you with? I don't believe you.Instead, say: This comes as a shock for me. But I am sure you can tell me the whole thing. There's nothing to be afraid of.Instead, say:&nbsp;Everyone has their fair share of fears. We appreciate that you shared your feelings with us. We promise we will work on this together. You're lazy/stupid/selfish.Never label your child. Never. Your friends don't do that.Comparison will never bring any positive change. Accept your child for who they are and appreciate them. You should have done better.Praise them for their achievement. Do not over expect. You don't know what you're talking about. / You're too young to know what you want.Often children know what they want or how they feel. Saying this will show your distrust in their feelings. You'll never be able to do that.Instead, encourage and push your child to do better, of course, without any comparison. You're so fat/skinny, or You're going to get fat/skinny.Never attribute a child's identity to their looks. You make me so mad.Calm your anger down, and then talk to your child(ren).&nbsp;Instead, say:&nbsp;We will talk about this after a while when I am in the right state of my mind. Impact of such phrases on children:<ol><li>Antisocial behaviour</li><li>Poor resilience</li><li>Depression</li><li>Aggression</li><li>Lack of empathy</li><li>Difficulty in relationships</li><li>Self-doubt</li><li>Lack of self-confidence</li><li>Anxiety</li></ol>

A few things said in haste messes up a child's brain and have a considerable impact psychologically, like low self-confidence, self-doubt, anxiety and so on

Speaking Gently: Things you should never say to your child

A few things said in haste messes up a child’s brain and have a huge impact psychologically.

Things You Should Never Say to Your Child

It's just a few days to your child's birthday and you are wondering if everything will go according to your plan or not. Well, here are a few things you can prepare beforehand so that on your child's special day you are not busy with organising and execution and are able to spend quality time with your child: <ul><li>If you're calling your child's friends over, make all the calls at least 3 days prior and take the confirmations so you can make the arrangements accordingly.</li><li>If you are planning to get food from outside, call the catering people and make appropriate arrangements for the special day.</li><li>If you are going to plan an activity for children, get all the materials for the same and keep everything in one place so that you don't have to rush around for everything on the day of celebration.</li><li>Get a house help for the whole day to help you with the arrangements prior to the celebration and also to help you tidy up the place post the celebrations.</li><li>Make your child try on the clothes and footwear before their birthday so that if any changes are to be made, they can be done within time.</li><li>Wind up all your personal/professional work one day prior to your child's birthday so that you can give your undivided attention to your child.</li></ul> If you are confused as to what you can do to make your child's birthday fulfilling, take a look at our 'Birthday Celebration Ideas' article to get some ideas.

Don't fuss about the preparations on the day of the celebration of the child's birthday, instead, see what you can manage prior to the celebration to make the day less stressful.

Preparing for your childs Birthday

Don't fuss about the preparations on the day of the celebration of your child's birthday, instead, see what all you can manage prior to the celebration to make the day less stressful.

Are there any psychological effects on children watching cartoons on TV or mobile?Cartoons are the most popular entertainment for children. Earlier children would spend time outside playing with their friends, compared to now where they choose to spend time in front of the TV, watching their favourite Cartoons for hours. Ever since the emergence of the cartoon industry, it has been noted that watching cartoons can have both negative as well as positive impacts on a child's psychological growth along with their physical growth. Positive Impacts:<ol><li>Early Education: Preschoolers can get help to learn alphabets, shapes, numbers, and colours while watching TV. Undoubtedly, television can be an excellent educator and entertainer. The moving, talking pictures and colourful visuals make learning interesting and fun for kids.</li><li>Cognitive development:&nbsp;Watching TV and cartoon can help in the development of cognitive skills in kids. Skills such as logic and reasoning ability, visual and auditory processing, and sustained and selective attention of a child are developed and enhanced in kids.</li><li>Linguistic skills:&nbsp;Watching cartoons in different languages can assist children in not just learning different languages but can also help them improve their pronunciation and their manner of talking.</li><li>Creativity:&nbsp;watching cartoons enhances creative thinking in children. They may start thinking of new creative ideas like stories, characters, situations, etc on basis of cartoons they watch.</li><li>Morals and Culture:&nbsp;Mythological cartoons can introduce children to their religion and culture. Many cartoons end with good lessons of morals like kindness, caring and compassion.</li></ol> Negative Impacts:<ol><li>Violent Behavior:&nbsp;Kids who watch violent acts are more likely to show aggressive behaviour and also may fear that the world is scary and that something bad will happen to them. Also Because Cartoon characters display no more than little harm during violent scenes, children may believe that no one gets hurt or feels pain since cartoons escape unscathed after experiencing violence or an accident.</li><li>Less-empathetic behaviour:&nbsp;Few cartoons characters display a lack of empathy and rude/ disobedient behaviour towards others. Kids might mimic this behaviour and challenge their elders when they are disciplined for bad behaviour.</li><li>Rough Language:&nbsp;Few cartoon characters make use of rough language, as a result of which children begin to use foul/ rough language in their day to day life.</li><li>Anti-social behaviour:&nbsp;Several cartoons encourage antisocial behaviour and give wrong messages to kids. Cartoon characters often display risky behaviour, such as smoking and drinking, and may also reinforce gender-role and racial stereotypes. These can affect a kid's behaviour and make them believe it is normal to be aggressive, spoiled, or violent. cartoons may be the reason for many children to even become bullies in schools.</li><li>Health Issues:&nbsp;Children who consistently spend more than 4 hours a day watching TV are more likely to be overweight. They watch cartoons even when they eat because many parents believe it gets easier to feed babies watching television. Health issues arising due to sedentary lifestyle and inactivity for hours include obesity, vision problems, and nutritional deficiencies due to bad food habits.</li><li>Role models:&nbsp;From a very young age children start to mimic their role models. A role model is someone who either inspires and motivates the kids or discourages and admonish them, thereby shaping their character and personality as adults. Children often idolize their favourite cartoon character which could be Often a misleading role model that encourages the wrong habits or displays insensitive behaviour towards others. This kind of impact of cartoons on children’s psychology can often lead to devastating outcomes and result in kids being withdrawn, uncommunicative, antisocial, or unruly.</li></ol> Tips for parents: <ul><li>To make cartoons a healthy entertainment and a good and effective source of learning for kids, parents should pay more attention to providing selected cartoons to their kids that could positively influence them.</li><li>Parents must control the time children spend watching TV. They can choose appropriate cartoons for their kids. It would be better if parents also regularly watch and discuss the characters of cartoons with children. This way they will not only keep their kids away from violence but also direct them to different activities.</li><li>Lastly, it is recommended for parents to avoid placing their kids in front of screens while they’re eating.</li><li>Let's protect kids from the negative impact of Television media! Because healthy kids mean a healthy future!</li></ul>

Watching cartoons programs had a significant effect on the behaviour of children. Cartoons can have both positive and negative effects on cognitive and behavioural development.

Influence of watching cartoons on children

Watching cartoons can both negatively and positively influence children. Along with being the best educator, Watching TV can surely encourage children to become aggressive and violent. Hence, the cartoon industry is believed to influence a child's brain as well as physical development.

Parenting is a process, not a learned behaviour. Raising a child in a nuclear family requires several measures, the most important of all being the sharing of responsibilities between both the parents equally.<ul><li>Children in a nuclear family are more confident as they are more independent compared to children raised in joint families.</li><li>A joint family offers a lot of family time, so parents in a nuclear family should properly schedule their day to assure sufficient and efficient time for kids in the family.</li><li>Being in a nuclear family brings many responsibilities on parents’ shoulders. This might drain you out, more if you are a working parent. This draining out will make you frustrated sometimes but it is very important to stay positive in front of your parents. The serious discussions can be limited to bedrooms between you and your spouse.</li><li>If you live in a nuclear family, it is important to maintain good ties with the extended family. This is because they will be at your help to look after your child when you cannot be present for your child.</li><li>Instead of relying on gadgets, invest in educational play boxes for your child which will aid your child’s intellectual development.</li><li>Involve your kids in household chores. Nothing can be a better way to spend quality time with your kids. This also develops emotional, motor, social skills in your child.</li><li>Make sure to plan outings – even to the nearest park – once in a while. This will help you ease a bit and also give your child the time to bond with you.</li></ul> In the end, it is up to parents to weigh the pros and cons of raising a child in joint and nuclear families and then decide what’s best for their child(ren).

A nuclear family or elementary family or conjugal family is essentially a family which has parents (mother and father) and children.

Parenting in a nuclear or conjugal family

A nuclear family or elementary family or conjugal family is essentially a family which has parents (mother and father) and children.

Parenting in a nuclear family

“There is no gift a parent can give his child that is better than good manners.”“Respect your children and talk to them with good manners and a likeable method.”"Whoever wishes that his children are safe from disinheritance, he should help them perform good deeds.”“The best gift from parents to their children is education and upbringing.”&nbsp;“Play with them for the first seven years of their life; then teach them for the next seven years; then advise them for the next seven years.”&nbsp;“May Allāh have mercy on the person that helps his child in doing good.”&nbsp;&nbsp;“Love children and be kind to them."&nbsp;“Treat your children fairly, treat your children fairly.”&nbsp;&nbsp;"The best thing a father provides to his child is good manners and ethical training.”&nbsp;&nbsp;“May Allah bless the parents who trained their children to behave justly with them."&nbsp;“Kiss your children profusely, because every time you kiss the child, Allah will advance your position in Heaven by one stage."&nbsp;“Maintain justice among your children in gifts, just like you would like them to be just with you in goodness and affection.”&nbsp;“Like your children and treat them with affection and kindness. When you make a promise to them, you must keep it, because children consider you their sustainer.”&nbsp;“Respect your children and give them a good upbringing that Allah blesses you."&nbsp;“Anybody who called a child, saying that he would give him a certain thing, and did not give it, speaks a lie.”&nbsp;&nbsp;“Never beat the children if they cry. Fulfil their needs. Because, for the first four months of the life of a child’, its cries are a witness to the Existence and Unity of Allah, Almighty."

Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) Hadiths On Parent-Child Relationship. The most basic and necessary manners that teach us how to raise a child. 

Prophet Muhammad Hadiths On Parent-Child Relationship Part 1

Parent-child Relationship is one of the things that is the most sacred thing in the world. Hadiths by Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) related to this beautiful relationship will tell us its importance.

Prophet Muhammad Hadiths On Parent Child Relationship Part 1

Separation anxiety often develops after a significant stressful or traumatic event in the child's life, such as leaving child for&nbsp;school, a stay in the hospital, the death of a loved one or pet, or a change in environment (such as moving to another house or a change of schools). Measures which can be taken to deal with this situation:<ul><li>Good-byes should be quicker and loving: See them off with warmth and love. Kiss them bye, provide a special blanket or toy as you leave, keep the good-bye short and sweet. If you take longer time the child gets anxious, so make it quick.</li><li>Be consistent: Try to drop them at the same time each day, to avoid unexpected factors whenever you can.</li><li>Attention: While you are leaving your child, give your him/her full attention, be loving, and provide affection. Then say good-bye quickly despite their cries for you to stay.</li><li>Keep your promise: You’ll build trust and independence as your child becomes confident in his/her ability to be without you when you stick to your promise of return.</li><li>Be specific, child style: When you discuss your return, provide specifics that your child understands. If you know you’ll be back by 3:00 pm, tell it to your child on his/her terms; for example, say, “I’ll be back after reading time and before afternoon snack.” Define time in a way (s)he can understand.</li><li>Practice being apart: Leave the children off to grandma’s home, schedule play-dates, and allow friends and family to provide child care for you (even for an hour) on the weekend. Before starting child care or preschool, practice going to school and your good-bye ritual. Give your child a chance to prepare, experience, and deal in your absence!</li></ul> Separation anxiety hardly persists after pre-school years. In case of working parents, separation anxiety can occur to both parents as well as children. Above mentioned measures can be helpful in this case as well.

Separation anxiety can be difficult to deal with but things can be made easy by following a few measures.

separation anxiety parenting concerns

Parenting issues are a part of the everyday parenting journey. Following article(s) might help you with your concern(s).

Separation anxiety measures

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