Palak Vyas

Dr Ajab Primuswala

Every child is gifted and special for their parents.Giftedness, on the other hand, is when the child’s ability to do a certain thing is significantly above the norm for their age. <ul><li>A child can be gifted in one or more domains like – intellectual, creative, leadership, artistic or giftedness can manifest in a specific academic field like – mathematics, language arts, or science.</li><li>If you feel and observe that your child can achieve things which others his age are not able to, your child might be gifted.</li><li>A psychologist will be able to help you confirm this as there are many similarities between a gifted child and a child on the ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) spectrum.</li><li>It is better to consult an expert to confirm your child’s giftedness.</li><li>Gifted children need to be admitted to a special school which will fulfil their above-average needs and help them grow better.</li><li>In order to check the ability of your child, compare your child’s ability with respect to age-appropriate scenarios with other children.</li><li>When you sync age of your child, skill(s) of your child, and the age-appropriate norm and find that your child achieving above everyone else, your child is considered gifted.</li></ul>

There is a difference between talented child and a gifted child.

Gifted Child

What works best in the cases of addiction is that a similar kind of less harmful or useful thing should be replaced in place of the previous addiction. For example, if a child is addicted to sugar, you can provide him/her with raisins or dates in place of sugar. <ul><li>When you see your child is obsessed with a fictional character like spider-man or superman, try showing him/her the positive and humanly traits of the character.</li><li>Try and incorporate or relate those with your daily incidences.</li><li>Give them more humanly touch.</li><li>Eventually, you can identify a similar character from your family and relate their human traits with that of the fictional character your child is obsessed with. For example, you can relate your child’s father with Superman, tell them, “The way Superman saves the world and fights evil, your father does the same. He built us this house, he works and earns, takes care of us when we are sick so basically he also protects us”.</li><li>Give them the idea that these are imaginary or fictional characters inspired by real-life, science and technology.</li><li>It is okay for a child to be attracted to superheroes as long as (s)he is learning something good from them. This is where they enjoy their little innocent world of imagination. Let them feel happy and enjoy their world of superheroes and other characters. Eventually, when they grow up, they will come to know the difference between real and imaginary.</li><li>These characters are made in such a way that not only children but young and old everyone is inclined towards them.</li><li>All you have to see that their addiction does not come in their way of studies or their growth.</li><li>If you feel that because of this (s)he keeps getting distracted, explain to them that there is a time and place for everything. One cannot talk about the same thing all day long. There are several more things to explore so take them for visits at the zoo or a museum to keep them away from the imaginative world for a while.</li></ul>

Addiction/obsession is not something which can be immediately worked upon.

Dealing with fictional character addiction in children

Ravina Sewani

The authoritarian parenting style is characterized by parental use of high levels of control behaviours and showing low levels of warmth and support. Authoritarian parents tend to be restrictive, allow little input from children, and provide little reasoning behind rules and regulations. People with this parenting style often use punishment rather than discipline. CharacteristicsThe authoritarian approach represents the most controlling style. Rather than valuing self-control and teaching children to manage their behaviours, they focus on adherence to authority. Instead of rewarding positive behaviour, feedback is in the form of punishments for misbehaviour. <ol><li>Demanding, but not responsive –&nbsp;Such parents want their kids to grow exactly the way they want. Parents have lots of set and unwritten rules for their kids and expect them to follow —even though children receive little to no explicit instruction about these "rules." Instead, children are expected to know that these rules exist.</li><li>Show no feelings or empathy -&nbsp;Parents show no feelings for their children and do not empathize with them. They do not entertain questions or make an effort to understand the child's emotions.</li><li>Little Explanation for Punishments –&nbsp;Yelling and Abusing a child is often seen in such parents, rather than explaining in the love and caring manner when the rules are broken.</li><li>Don't offer choices to children -&nbsp;Parents' approach to discipline is strictly one way. They don't discuss the rules with their children before implementing them. The kids are rarely allowed to make a choice.</li><li>Have a low tolerance for indiscipline and misbehaviour –&nbsp;Parents usually misbehave and expect their children to follow the rules with no choice.</li><li>Lack of trust in their children -&nbsp;Parents, expect high standards from their children. They do not allow them the freedom to put up their best behaviour and make choices. Instead of letting their children make choices, the parents ensure that the kids follow the instructions so that they do not commit mistakes.</li><li>Not Responding to a Child's Questions or Requests -&nbsp;Any conversations from children to their parents are irrelevant and are not met with an acknowledgement. Even when the child successfully manages to adhere to all the expectations, the feedback would still be of expecting a lot more the next time, without any praise or acknowledgement of the present achievement.</li><li>Shame their children for indiscipline -&nbsp;Parents use shame as a strategy and force their children to follow the rules by using phrases such as "Why do you always do that?" "How many times do I have to tell you the same thing?" or "Why can't you do anything right?". These parents believe that shaming them will encourage them to follow the rules.</li></ol> Effects on ChildrenThe authoritarian style of parenting affects kids in different ways. It can impact them mentally, emotionally, and socially. Below are the impacts of authoritarian parenting on Child: <ul><li>Do not learn to think independently and&nbsp;cannot make decisions.</li><li>Display more&nbsp;aggressive behaviour&nbsp;outside the home.</li><li>Act fearful or overly shy&nbsp;around others.</li><li>They grow up with&nbsp;low self-esteem.</li><li>Have difficulty in social gathering due to a&nbsp;lack of social skills.</li><li>More likely to have symptoms of&nbsp;depression and anxiety.</li><li>Poor academic performance&nbsp;due to mental tolerance.</li><li>Lack of creativity&nbsp;as they are afraid that they might go wrong.</li></ul> This generalization appears to apply across a variety of cultures. Kids from authoritarian families may find it more challenging to fend for themselves and make friends. Pros of Authoritarian ParentingOften strict and rigid, authoritarian parents expect their kids to follow the rules at all times. But there are some good things about this parenting style. Good behaviour -&nbsp;Children have a good understanding of what is and isn't acceptable. They are also highly attuned to the negative consequences that can stem from wrong behaviour, so they will avoid stepping out of the line.Safety -&nbsp;Authoritarian parenting places a strong emphasis on safety, which minimizes the types of risky behaviour a child may engage in.Goal-driven -&nbsp;As per the standard of living in this style, children can understand what steps need to be taken to accomplish a goal. Cons of Authoritarian ParentingThis parenting style may lead to symptoms of depression and anxiety. There are several other cons of authoritarian parenting that should be considered if you're adhering to this type of child-rearing. Rule-dependent-&nbsp;A heavy emphasis on rules set by parents without any real explanation, makes children feel insecure and unsure of how to behave in specific scenarios or social gathering.Reduced self-esteem-&nbsp;As choices are limited, child skill development and creativity are limited, which may have a direct impact on his or her self-esteem. Children who depend on others to develop their confidence will often struggle in social situations or new environments.Rebellion -&nbsp;Children eventually grow tired of the seemingly endless list of rules without any discussion. Children then start to defy the rules and risk their safety eventually intentionally.Emotionally withdrawn -&nbsp;Children who are raised by authoritarian parents tend to shy away from expressing their emotions as Parents do not entertain questions or make an effort to understand the child's emotion.

When parents practice tough love parenting, they adopt a parenting style that psychologists call authoritarian parenting. Find out if this parenting style is right for your child.

Authoritarian parenting

There is no specific age limit as to when a child should get his/her first haircut. However, in some cultures, such as in Hinduism, it is believed that a child should get the tonsure ("mundan" as it is called in the Hindu culture) done by the end of the first year. If you don't hold such beliefs, it does not matter if you get your child's first hair cut done at 2 months or 2 years. A few signs which will help you know when the child needs the first haircut:<ul><li>When hair starts to get in your baby’s eyes or is bothersome on his or her neck</li><li>When “fly-a-ways” on the sides start to look like wings</li><li>When the hair is making your child extremely irritated</li></ul> Tips to keep in mind BEFORE that first hair cut:<ol><li>Before you take your child for the first haircut, you should take him/her to your own hair appointments. This will make their fear go away and they will understand that getting a hair cut does not physically hurt.</li><li>Take an extra towel/shirt to the salon if in case your child does not want to wear the hair-cut cape.</li><li>Choose the time of the haircut wisely; it should not be your child's nap time or snack time or even playtime.</li><li>Going to a kid's salon is the best approach but if you cannot access a kid's salon, ask around and book an appointment with the stylist who is known to work with kids' haircuts.</li><li>Reach the salon 15 minutes before your appointment time, so your child gets accustomed to the environment. Do not reach very early as the wait will make your child cranky.</li><li>Kids salons usually have playthings and chocolates, lollipops, cars, books etc. to keep children distracted until their turn. If you are not going to a kid's salon, take your child's favourite toy or a book.</li></ol> Tips to have a smooth experience DURING the first haircut:<ol><li>Do not use the word "cut", use a less scary word like "style", "trim". Tell them, "We are going to get your hair styled".</li><li>If they refuse to sit in the styling chair, make them sit on your lap. This way they will be less scared as you would be with them.</li><li>If they have an elder sibling, schedule their haircut on the same way. Your child will get confidence by watching their sibling getting the haircut while they get theirs. If your child has no sibling, you can schedule any of your family member's haircut.</li><li>Do not lose your calm. If you panic, your child will take up the vibe and get even more uncomfortable. So remember to be relaxed at all times.</li></ol>

Convincing your child for the first haircut can be difficult. Nevertheless, you can make this easier.

Going for the first hair cut of your baby

What should you look for and what points to keep in mind while using it: <ol><li>Ensure that it meets the safety standards of the consumer products safety commission.</li><li>Look for sturdy construction and safe mesh.</li><li>Ensure the sides are at least 20 inches high from the floor of the playpen.</li><li>The holes in the mesh should be no larger than 0.6 cm so that the baby’s fingers don’t get stuck.</li><li>Check whether the mesh is securely attached.</li><li>If there are slats, see that the slat distance is not more than 5.08 cm in width.</li><li>There has to be proper padding on the top and corner rails.</li><li>Do not leave baby unattended. Keep your child under supervision all the time.</li><li>Never place playpen near windows or on beds for safety purposes.</li><li>One should stop using the playpen when the baby reaches a height of 34 inches and its weight is more than 14 kg.</li><li>Hinges and supports should always be protected.</li><li>Do not put any kind of toys or blocks, using which the baby can try to climb out.</li></ol>

A playpen is a high sided, enclosed play area specifically designed for babies to play so they won’t wander off.

Selecting a playpen for your baby

Take the following points into consideration before buying a rocker: <ol><li>The first and foremost, it should be safe and easy to move around. A lightweight and normal-sized rocker is good to use. Not too big and not too small. Choose as per your baby’s size and weight.</li><li>It should be easy to clean, as babies tend to spit or throw up sometimes. Look for a removable machine - washable cover or a waterproof fabric that is easy to wipe down.</li><li>The seat should be adjustable.</li><li>If it has good music or soothing lights, depending upon your personal choice you can select that feature.</li><li>There are two options available for rocker: Motorised and Manual. Depending upon your preferences you can select any. Both are fine.</li></ol>

A rocker is a baby chair with a slanted base so that you can rock your baby gently while they lie in the chair.

Selecting a rocker for your baby

Parameters for selecting baby wipes are branded or generic, scented or unscented, disposable or reusable. <ul><li>You can choose a generic product to be cost-effective if you are comfortable with it.</li><li>Some babies have highly sensitive skin. So for them, you can opt for unscented wipes and even reusable cloth wipes.</li><li>Before buying in bulk, it is recommended that first you try a handful of variety and decide for yourself which suits your child the best.</li><li>Baby wipes come in two different packaging. One is a plastic box and other is a pop up wipe box. The plastic box is refillable so it's more convenient. Go for the one you’re comfortable with.</li><li>Flush-able wipes are also available; you can directly flush them off.</li><li>You can also find reusable and disposable wipes. Disposable wipes are convenient and more sanitary. The reusable wipes are recommended for infants, newborn babies whose skin is very sensitive. This is an economical and eco-friendly option as well. You can experiment with both the types and depending upon the convenience and suitability of your child, you can use any.</li><li>Always read the ingredient list for the disposable wipes. Select alcohol-free and fragrance-free product.</li><li>Compare the sizes available and check which one is cost-effective and solves the purpose.</li><li>Do not reuse disposable wipes. Always moisten reusable cloth wipes with warm water and clean them thoroughly after use.</li></ul>

Baby wipes are wet cleaning clothes used for hygiene purposes. Buy wipes which are gentle on your baby's skin.

Selecting baby wipes for your child

There are two types of carrier available in the market, one is a soft pouch like for young infants and other is the structured frame for older babies. Things to take care of:<ol><li>It should have straps that prevent your baby from falling or slipping out.</li><li>Needs to have padded head support.</li><li>It should fit your baby’s size and weight.</li><li>The shape of the carrier should be deep enough to support your baby’s back.</li><li>The leg opening should be small so that the baby doesn’t slip off.</li><li>Should be easy and comfortable for you and the baby both.</li><li>Avoid carriers that have pinch points where your baby’s fingers might get stuck.</li><li>See that the metal frame around the baby’s face is padded.</li><li>Fabric or material should be strong and durable. Fasteners should be heavy and strong.</li><li>The carrier should have some pockets and zippered compartments to put handy things like a small bottle and handkerchief.</li><li>Never use a framed carrier for an infant who is 0 to 4 months old.</li><li>Any time when you want to lean forward, bend from the knees and not from the waist.</li><li>Check the carrier regularly for fabric, stitching and fasteners.</li></ol>

A baby carrier is a soft padded carrier that you wear on your front to carry your baby comfortably.

Selecting a carrier for your baby

Children have a more delicate skin than adults so burns and scalds affect them severely. Burns and scalds are not the same. Burns are caused by dry heat, for example, by an iron or fire. Scalds, on the other hand, are caused by wet heat, for example, hot water or steam. Burns and scalds cause:<ul><li>Red or peeling skin</li><li>Blisters</li><li>Swelling</li><li>White or charred skin&nbsp;</li></ul> Burns are of 3 levels - first, second, and third degree burns:<ul><li>First degree burns are mild causing pain and reddening of the skin. Second degree burns cause redness, swelling, pain, and blistering. Third degree burns cause white, blackened, or charred skin that may be numb.</li><li>First degree burns can be treated at home. Second and third degree burns need medical attention immediately.</li></ul> A few things to keep in mind before treating burns at home:<ul><li>If the source of the burn is electrical, do not touch your child. First turn off the switch.</li><li>If the source of the burn is anything hot or due to any chemical, remove the agent and run cool water over the burn.</li><li>If your child's clothing is on fire, make them stop running, cover their face, drop them to the floor, and extinguish the fire with a blanket. If your child is old enough to understand instructions, ask them to stop walking/running, cover their face with their hands, drop to the floor, and roll on the floor to put the fire out.</li></ul> Treating burns and scalds at home:<ul><li>Soak the burn in cool (not cold) water for at least 15 minutes. Do not use ice.</li><li>If there is any clothing attached with the burn, do not peel it. Cut the extra clothing around it.</li><li>Cover the burn using a clean cloth or an antibiotic ointment.</li><li>Do not pop any blisters.</li><li>If your child is experiencing pain, ask your child's paediatrician to prescribe medication for the pain.</li></ul> Preventing burns:<ul><li>Kids are curious by nature so it is up to parents to take proper precautions which will prevent injuries from burns and scalds. Here are a few things to keep in mind:</li><li>Keep the water temperature for bathing young children between 37 to 38 C.</li><li>Do not leave kids unsupervised in the bathroom or kitchen.</li><li>Keep hot drinks and handles out of reach of children.</li><li>Never carry hot things when holding children.</li></ul> Call the doctor if:<ul><li>The burned area is charred or white.</li><li>Electric shock or chemicals caused the burn.</li><li>The burn is on the face, hands, feet, genitals, or a joint.</li><li>The burn covers 10% or more of the body.</li></ul>

Children have a more delicate skin than adults so burns and scalds affect them severely.

sibling insecurity parenting concerns

Parenting issues are a part of the everyday parenting journey. Following article(s) might help you with your concern(s).