Palak Vyas

Juhi Mishra

Helping your child to cope with moving anxiety:<ol><li>Prepare your kids by proper information beforehand.</li><li>Let them ask questions and answer patiently.</li><li>Answer them honestly and be prepared for a variety of reactions.</li><li>If the place you are moving to a new place, take your child there and let them explore the new place.</li><li>Encourage their opinions and participation. For example ask them which plants they would want in their new house.</li></ol> Helping your child cope with stress:1. Stop over scheduling their day:Limit your child’s activities as per his age. 2. Make sleep a Priority:See that your child has enough sleep, let there be quiet time in the afternoon where they can read, or listen to music, rest and relax. 3. Teach them how to listen to their body:Consider asking them questions about how they feel whenever you see their energies are going down. This way they also stay aware about his body. 4. Prepare your kids to deal with mistakes:You can prepare them by narrating your own experiences of how you made mistakes and how you deal with it, how you solved it or handled it calmly. They always model you. 5. Limit the use of technology:Set time limits for using phones or watching television or playing video games. Overuse of technology makes child irritating. 6. Schedule relaxing activities:You can also enrol your child for music, painting, sketching, swimming or yoga classes as per his choices and preferences. 7. Get help:Any time you feel that your child looks over-stressed and none of the things are helping, take expert advice and consult a counselor.

In times of stress, it is important to let your child know that you are there for them.

Helping a child cope with stress

Clothing for a baby should be such that the baby is able to sleep hassle freeIn winters:<ul><li>Use thermal wear.</li><li>Do not use cotton clothes as they aren’t effective against cold.</li><li>For a newborn baby, swaddle with a warm blanket till 2 months.</li><li>Dress your child in a bodysuit. You can layer up with pants and top.</li><li>Put on soft warm socks for tiny toes.</li><li>Go for zip ups. So if it gets warmer you can take off easily.</li></ul> In summers:<ul><li>Use organic cotton muslin quilt to cover them while they sleep.</li><li>Fabric like fleece, cotton or flannel can be used.</li><li>Smooth cotton tops with short sleeves and pyjamas are enough.</li><li>In very hot weather only a diaper/cotton underwear is fine.</li></ul>Each one of us have different capacities to bear hot and cold temperatures so make sure to keep checking till you get an idea about your baby’s tendency. Check whether (s)he is fine with layering up or is (s)he okay with just a diaper. Soon you will know how to dress&nbsp;your own baby depending upon his/her comfort and requirements.

Choose sleepwear in a way that the baby sleeps hassle free and wakes up with a smile.

Sleepwear tips for babies

Ali Momin

The truth is - it is common for children to experience times of sadness. Although only about 2-3% of children will experience the type and extent of sadness that requires psychologists to diagnose. Which children experience frequent and persistent sad moods – and when?Children are more likely to experience sad moods when they have to deal with tough life circumstances.&nbsp;For example, children who are managing family separation, grief, physical illness, learning problems, family poverty, family ill health or other tough life situations are more likely to experience frequent sadness. What should parents of sad children do? 1. Remind yourself that your sad child is not feeling sad all the time (even if they feel they are).It’s normal for children (and adults) in the midst of sad moods to genuinely feel like they are sad all the time.&nbsp;They will often say to you, “I’m always sad”, they will express excessively negative opinions about their day, the event they just went to, their school day and their friends and classmates.&nbsp;Their self report may suggest to you that there is nothing positive happening for your child and that they feel bad all the time.&nbsp;However, this self report is not 100% true but simply a function of how the human brain works.&nbsp;When we are in negative moods, our brains are designed to focus on the problems.&nbsp;Children (and adults) will subconsciously “block out” positive memories, interactions, people and events when they are feeling bad.&nbsp;But this doesn’t mean they are not there.It is important for parents – and their children - to know that sadness is not constant.&nbsp;Even children who are frequently sad, have many moments each day of being absorbed in a task, enjoying an activity for a moment or to have some periods of time when they are looking forward to something.&nbsp;It’s important for us as parents, and our child, to remember this, and to help them identify these “shades of grey” in their mood.&nbsp; 2. Over time, your child will gradually feel less sad, less often.Persistent and long lasting depression in childhood is extremely rare.&nbsp;The chances are excellent that your child will feel less sad, less often at some point in the near future.&nbsp;Having worked with hundreds of children, I know that almost all children will have reductions in sadness over time.&nbsp;Be assured:&nbsp;it is very likely that life will change for the better for your child at some point.&nbsp;They will adjust to difficult life events, grief will resolve, they will have a change in peer group, they will find an activity or part of life which feels meaningful and interesting for them, or life will change for them in some other way.&nbsp;Even if the sources of sadness do not change significantly, they are likely to learn to think about life and cope with life in ways which make sadness less frequent.&nbsp; 3. As parents you can help your sad child.Parents often feel helpless when their attempts to help their sad child don’t seem to help.&nbsp;They feel like there is nothing they can do.&nbsp;This is not true.&nbsp; As parents we can coach and support our child to help themselves to feel less sad and to cope with tough life events.&nbsp;No, there is no quick and easy fix,&nbsp;but we can make a difference slowly as time passes. Some practical ideas which parents can use to help their child cope with sad times.1.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Be empathic.&nbsp;Be “with them”.&nbsp;Say “I’m sorry you had a hard day” and “I’m sorry you are feeling sad at the moment”.&nbsp;2.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Try to be patient with your child.&nbsp;Remember your child can’t “make themselves” be positive or happy.&nbsp;3.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Ask about specific “sad time triggers”.&nbsp;Although children will sometimes be sad “for no reason”, it is more often that there are at least some situations, thoughts or events which do trigger or cause sadness.&nbsp;Try to help children identify at least some of these – and then think about how these can be managed differently (or avoided).&nbsp;4.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Although we need to be on the lookout for and ask about triggers, it’s also important to NOT talk endlessly about the sadness or the problems.&nbsp;Having hour long conversations (especially before bed) may make things worse.&nbsp;Tell your child “we will talk about this again soon, but now let’s read a book/watch TV” etc.5.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Try to also limit your frustration with others – don’t blame other people for your child’s sadness.&nbsp;Teachers, doctors, parents and other children aren’t the (sole) source of the problem and they can’t “fix” your child either.6.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Gently teach children to notice the ups and downs of their mood – pick your moment but empathically challenge comments like “I’m always sad” – feeling this way is part of sadness, but is not 100% true.&nbsp;Ask them to notice when they felt good or interested or absorbed in something and sadness wasn’t their focus.7.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Teach children to notice the positive aspects of their day and positive events in the future.&nbsp;Put in “gratitude” exercises around the tea table occasionally and “my interesting week” exercises.&nbsp;Make some of these “past” focused, and others focused on the future.8.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Constantly work on social connection – it is very difficult to reduce sadness in children if they are isolated and have no positive source of friendship.&nbsp;Even if there are other obvious sadness triggers (ie grief, family separation, learning problems, health problems) – increasing social connection will help children feel less sad as they deal with them.9.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Keep working on helping your child finding sources of self esteem and meaning.&nbsp;Children (like adults) need to feel they are good at something, or that there is something interesting and important for them to do.&nbsp;10.&nbsp;&nbsp;Work on physical activity, sleep and nutrition.&nbsp;Sadness eases when children are more physically fit and active, get enough sleep and eat well.&nbsp;Don’t neglect these areas.11.&nbsp;&nbsp;Teach children ways to cope with periods of sadness.&nbsp;Help them make a list of “busy brain” activities so that when they are sad they do not withdraw or ruminate for long.&nbsp;Help them use words to tell people about their sadness rather than get angry or cry.&nbsp;Help them identify a problem which triggers their sadness and see if they can come up with potential steps to manage it. Finally, look after yourself.&nbsp;As said several times in this article, supporting children who get sad is a challenging and stressful experience for parents.&nbsp;If you are to manage any challenging and stressful experience, you need to look after your own physical, mental and emotional health.&nbsp;Take care of yourself, talk to others, get professional support, take breaks from parenting or do whatever else works for you in looking after yourself.

The truth is - it is common for children to experience times of sadness. This articles include some practical ideas which parents can use to help their child cope with sad times.

Sadness and tearfulness in children

Samiksha Choithani

Dr Chintan Solanki

This kind of behaviour suggests the possibility of some imitation from the environments either inside or outside of the home. If someone in the family is acting in the same way, the child learns from them and imitates the same behaviour. In this particular situation, family therapy is required. It is possible that the child has learnt such behaviour outside the home from his/her peers or other persons. In this case, the child should be taught and counselled about proper behaviour and discipline. If you cannot do the same at home, you can take the help of a psychologist.If you feel that this behaviour has no explainable reasons, it might be due to some kind of a psychiatric disorder. It can be depression, bipolar disorder, or disruptive mood dysregulation disorder. In this case, where you cannot identify the reasons yourself, it is better to consult a clinical psychologist or a psychiatrist at the earliest. If you are able to find the reasons behind this behaviour, this is what you can do: <ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Prevent it before it’s too late, if you can predict your child’s behaviour and you are around try to be close to your child. Remember hitting comes out of fear, if you are around the child feels empowered to handle the situation and may not lash out. Also, since you are there to monitor keep them away from other children if the situation triggers. Hug the little one and calm him/her.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">If the child who is hit is without his/her parents around hug him/her before talking to your child. This will also give you some time to calm down, after handling the child who is hit talk to your child to apologise (you too can join him/her to apologise).</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Instead of playing blame game and saying “you are bad as you have hurt your friend”, rather say “your friend is hurt, hitting hurts and pains”. Blaming the child may create a negative impact on child’s mind and the problem may not get resolved.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Even lecturing will not work; avoid the urge to give a lecture to the child in such situations. The child knows that hitting is not okay; it’s just that he/she couldn’t control the feelings, try to make the child feel safe. You can explain the child later during the sleep time on bed. This will have a lasting impact and may result into a positive behaviour.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Stay compassionate so that the child can cry or vent out the feelings. The child feels overwhelmed and venting out helps a lot.</li></ul>

Even your child is aware that hitting is not the right thing. You just need to pin point the problem and solve it.

Dealing with Violent Behaviour among Children

Ravina Sewani

Authoritative parenting style; the parents are nurturing, responsive, and supportive, yet set firm limits for their children. They attempt to control children's behaviour by explaining rules, discussing, and reasoning. They listen to a child's viewpoint but don't always accept it. Children raised with this style tend to be friendly, energetic, cheerful, self-reliant, self-controlled, curious, cooperative and achievement-oriented. This parenting style generally produces the best outcomes in children. CharacteristicsParents in this style have high expectations, but also know the importance of open communication and provide the support their kids need to be successful. They offer consistent discipline, considering the situation. They also are role models of the behaviour they expect from their children. <ol><li>Responsive and demanding –&nbsp;Parents in this style have high expectations, but also know the importance of open communication. Parents support their kids to manage their behaviours. This approach is the most effective parenting style leading to the healthiest outcomes for children and thus the lowest difficulties scores.</li><li>Independent and self-reliant -&nbsp;Parents encourage children to be independent and develop their own identities, but at the same time, they also provide rules for their children. Due to the guidance children receive, the children tend to follow them consistently.</li><li>Higher academic performance -&nbsp;Parents support their children. Whether it's weekly homework or a particular project, they make themselves available and provide all the necessary tools for their children's success in school. They're present at school events and meetings. Their expectations for home and in school are consistent but reasonable and age-appropriate.</li><li>Open-minded -&nbsp;These parents are adaptable and willing to provide explanations. They help their children understand the reasoning behind specific rules. This type of openness and discussion helps their child develop good communication and social skills. They may also become more flexible and open-minded with others.</li><li>Reasonable emotional control and regulation -&nbsp;These parents show good emotional understanding and control. Their children also learn to manage their emotions and learn to understand others. Hence, it helps them to build healthy self-esteem and self-confidence.</li></ol> Effects on ChildrenThe authoritative parenting style takes a more balanced approach. Parents are neither bosses nor best buddies, but guides and mentors. Below are the impacts of authoritative parenting on a child: <ul><li>They learn to think&nbsp;independently and are very self-confident.</li><li>They can manage&nbsp;aggressive behaviour&nbsp;outside the home.</li><li>Children are also&nbsp;happy, capable and successful.</li><li>Achieve higher&nbsp;academic success.</li><li>Have&nbsp;better mental health&nbsp;— less depression, anxiety, suicide attempts, alcohol, and drug use.</li><li>Develop&nbsp;good social skills.</li><li>Exhibit&nbsp;less violent&nbsp;tendencies.</li><li>Children are&nbsp;well-adjusted and goal-oriented.</li></ul> Pros of Authoritarian ParentingWhen it comes to authoritative parenting, it's pretty much all good news! Parents communicate in confident, friendly and peaceful ways, and do not set goals based on the child's desires, but rather, based on past performances and achievements. Responsibility -&nbsp;Children who are raised by authoritative parents understand the responsibilities for the choices they make, which empowers them to make the right decisions.Respect -&nbsp;Children whose parents show them respect by allowing them individual freedoms are more likely to respect others. They often thrive in social settings and get along well in social life.Flexibility –&nbsp;Raising children using this style allows for more flexibility with age. As your child grows older, their needs and desires change. Thus, the child will grow with a better personality, which is more comfortable for the authoritative parent to deal with.Leadership -&nbsp;Because of their ability to make their own decisions, these children have the kind of confidence and savvy that allows them to take on leadership roles. Cons of Authoritarian ParentingOften in life, finding a balance between two alternatives is the best solution to a problem, and that's certainly the case here. But that doesn't mean that everything will be smooth sailing as long as you practice authoritative parenting. Rebellion -&nbsp;As they grow, kids go through typical phases of rebellion, anger and apathy. These phases may be incredibly tricky for authoritative parents, who naturally have high expectations of their children, and have tried hard to raise their kids the best way possible. Here, patience is the key to success.Low Self-Esteem –&nbsp;Some children may feel that their world is being controlled and they don't have the freedom to exercise their judgments and actions.Difficulty to Adapt -&nbsp;An authoritative parent tends to try to be the best parent possible at all stages of childhood, which can add more stress to parenthood. Hence there will be an issue in adapting and creating rules in different stages for child growth and development.

There isn’t a single formula for raising children well. After all, parenting isn’t an exact science. There’s definitely a bit of an art to good parenting. Authoritative parents carefully define limits for children, are good role models and praise children for their efforts.

Authoritative Parenting

Getting the baby out of the cradle gets challenging, especially when the child gets comfortable in the cradle. However, it is important to get them on the bed or in a cot. This is how you can break the habit of cradle: <ul><li>Make the child sleep on the lap, keep the lap moving until the child sleeps, slowly make them sleep on the bed. If the child wakes up often, do not give up. Repeat this process for three to four nights and the child will get habituated to bed.</li><li>You can make the child sleep in the cradle but once the child is in deep sleep, pick him/her from the cradle and make them sleep on the bed. If the child wakes up, don’t repeat the process. Cuddle them and make them sleep on the bed only.</li><li>Try to reduce the motion of the cradle for a week and make the child sleep on the bed every alternate day, stick on this routine for a week.</li><li>Make sure any of these patterns are to be strictly followed to break the habit of the cradle. Children will get cranky and it will get even more difficult to handle them during sleepless nights but it will only be a matter of a week or 10 days and your child will enjoy a normal sleep habit.</li></ul>

Babies love to sleep in cradle because the swaying of cradle is soothing to them.

Breaking the cradle sleep habit

Dr Ajab Primuswala

<ul><li>It is important to understand the psychological reasons behind why does a child back answers every time you tell him/her something.</li><li>Whenever you notice that your child is back answering, the first thing&nbsp;to do is observe your own behaviour with them subjectively. A child always models your behaviour.</li><li>Look for incidents or triggers which motivates them to back-answer or not to listen to you.</li><li>When you talk about your misbehaving child, look for any circumstances which they are not able to make you understand, look for their requirements or their hidden feelings and emotions.</li><li>Sometimes a child is unhappy because of some dispute with their siblings or friends and is unable to do anything about it or unable to talk about it, in that case (s)he may come to you and shower in his/her frustration in terms of back answers or misbehaviour. Here, a child is either thinking of not reacting or is unable to express their feelings and so this&nbsp;acted as one of the triggers to misbehave.</li><li>As a parent we usually command them to do certain things, we don’t even try to understand their needs, their feelings and emotions, what would they appreciate. We just look at our perspective as adults and go ahead with it. So the child can misbehave to prove his/her point. Sometimes they know that their behaviour is not appropriate but they would still continue to do so just to prove their point.</li><li>Age factor plays a major role in understanding a child’s misbehaviour or back answering. If the child is too young, say 3 or 4 years and is misbehaving, they might have some unmet needs. They are seeking your attention and trying to grab you more in this negative&nbsp;manner. The need could be as simple as sleep or hunger but they don't understand themselves so they are unable to convey it correctly.</li><li>For a 5-8 year child, by misbehaving they are trying to lure you or trying to bring your attention towards them. The reason could be a lack of proper communication. You may feel that you talk to your child all day and night but no! What you might be doing is just giving guidance and giving commands or pointing out their mistakes. For example “Did you finish your work?” “Stop banging the door”! “see! You forgot to flush the toilet”. There is no communication.</li><li>Communication means even you are listening to them rather than just giving commands or pointing mistakes or doing interrogation. Irrespective of age, communication is extremely important for your child.</li><li>So rather than scolding, getting irritated or upset with them, calm them down. Make them sit. First lower down your voice, ask them to talk to you in soft manner. If they feel that they are disturbed, ask them to calm down for a while and leave them for a while. Leave them with a calming thought.</li><li>Give them time to reflect on their behaviour. Don’t start commanding or being their boss, saying, "Stop doing this”! “You can’t do this to me”. By doing so you are giving them the image that it is okay to shout, it is okay to back-answer. You don’t want them to learn this from you, right?</li><li>The behaviour you want from your child should come first from you. If you feel you aren’t giving enough space, give them space. If the issue is about giving time, give them enough time. Time here&nbsp;doesn’t mean watching TV or playing video games with them.&nbsp;Giving time means planning an activity for spending quality time where you both are involved in the process. The child should enjoy that time with you, The child should enjoy being with you and communicating with you. Teaching them, making them learn, going on long drives would not count here. Before doing any activity for quality time, make sure your child likes it, talk to them and know their viewpoint.</li><li>What a child wants, is to sit beside you, talk to you about their fancy ideas, wants you to hear their school and bus stories, their teacher’s talks and all about what is happening in their life.</li><li>Usually, we tend to overlook these criteria where a child is having some issues outside the house, either in school, with batch mates, with peers, or someone in the surroundings or there could be a pressure of studies as well. Study pressure is not only during board exams but it may be their own expectations towards their own selves.</li><li>Just verbalise it, bring it to point, explain them and still if they misbehave try to find the root cause rather than just shouting back at them.</li></ul>

Back answering is not just a misbehaviour of your child. There might be underlying reasons for that.

Teaching child not to back answer

Most small cuts aren't a danger to children. But larger cuts often need immediate medical treatment.For minor bleeding from a small cut or scrape:<ul><li>Rinse the wound thoroughly with water to clean out dirt and debris.</li><li>Wash the wound with a mild soap and rinse well.</li><li>Cover the wound with a sterile adhesive bandage.</li><li>If the bandage gets wet, remove it and apply a new one.</li><li>Check the wound daily.</li><li>Call your doctor if the wound is red, swollen, tender, warm, or draining pus.</li></ul> For bleeding from a large or deep cut:<ul><li>Rinse off the wound with water. Do not use alcohol, or similar agents to clean the wound. They will cause pain and irritation and will not clean the wound any better than clean water.</li><li>Wash your hands so they are clean before you help your child. Preventing the wound from getting infected is your first priority. Place a piece of sterile gauze or a clean cloth over the wound.</li><li>Using the palm of your hand on the gauze or cloth, apply steady, direct pressure to the wound for 5 minutes.&nbsp;</li><li>If blood soaks through the gauze, do not remove it. Apply another gauze pad on top and continue applying pressure.</li><li>You can use an antibiotic ointment to protect against infection and help keep the bandage from sticking to the wound.</li><li>Once a cut or scrape has formed a scab, you can leave it open to the air.</li></ul> Call your doctor for all large or cuts if:<ul><li>You can't stop the bleeding after 5 minutes of pressure</li><li>Something else stuck in the wound</li><li>The wound is on the child's face or neck</li><li>The cut is more than half an inch long or is deep — large or deep wounds can result in nerve or tendon damage.</li><li>Fever</li></ul>

Most small cuts aren't a danger to children. But larger cuts often need immediate medical treatment.

Cuts and Scrapes in children

Genes can significantly impact the height of our children. But there are a few measures you can take to increase your child’s height.<ul><li>Healthy eating Habit: Milk is a rich source of calcium and calcium plays an important role in the development of bone structure of your children. Protein plays a vital role in increasing height and is present in natural food sources like milk, eggs, soyabeans etc. Maintaining a healthy diet which contains ample amount of protein, vitamins and minerals will help a lot in child's growth.</li><li>Regular exercises: For younger kids, you can take them to a park where they can do hanging exercises and vertical jumping. Yoga, swimming, stretching helps in lengthening spine and muscles.</li><li>Adequate sleep: Thickening and lengthening of bones happen during sleep. Children’s bodies produce various hormones during sleep which support their growth.</li><li>Good posture: Sitting and standing in upright postures can make children look taller.</li></ul>

Every child tends to grow at different pace. Height growth is also affected by genes. Nonetheless, making a few lifestyle changes can result into better height growth.

sleep problems parenting concerns

Parenting issues are a part of the everyday parenting journey. Following article(s) might help you with your concern(s).