Claustrophobia is the fear of closed spaces. This can be experienced in an elevator, small rooms without window, caves, cellars, small closed cars and sometimes tight – neck covered clothing. If you know the child is claustrophobic do not tease the child in panic situations. Causes:Calustrophobia may be caused due to a traumatic event in early years of childhood. These event(s) could be:<ul><li>Child getting locked in dark room unable to find door</li><li>Child crawling into a hole and getting stuck</li><li>Child locked in a closet</li><li>Child left alone in car or van</li><li>Child with clautrophobic parent(s)</li><li>Child who was bullied or abused</li></ul> Triggers:People affected by claustrophobia will often go out of their way to avoid confined spaces, such as lifts, tunnels, tube trains and public toilets. But avoiding these places may reinforce the fear.Some people with claustrophobia experience mild anxiety when in a confined space, while others have severe anxiety or a panic attack. The most common experience is a feeling or fear of losing control. Some common triggers are:<ul><li>Lifts</li><li>Tunnels</li><li>Tube trains</li><li>Revolving doors</li><li>Public toilets</li><li>Cars with central locking</li><li>Car washes</li><li>Shop changing rooms</li><li>Hotel rooms with sealed windows</li><li>Planes</li></ul> Physical Symptoms:<ul><li>Sweating</li><li>Trembling</li><li>Hot flushes or chills</li><li>Shortness of breath or difficulty breathing</li><li>A choking sensation</li><li>A rapid heartbeat</li><li>Tightness in the chest</li><li>Upset stomach</li><li>Headaches and dizziness</li><li>Feeling faint</li><li>Numbness or pins and needles</li><li>A dry mouth&nbsp;</li><li>A need to go to the toilet</li><li>Ringing your ears</li><li>Nausea</li></ul> Psychological symptoms:<ul><li>Feeling out of touch with reality or detached from your body</li><li>Fear of fainting</li><li>Fear of losing control</li><li>Fear of dying</li></ul> Diagnosis:<ul><li>A mental health expert can diagnose phobia; keep a regular track of your child’s behaviour/health in particular situations and with objects.</li><li>Phobia diagnosis is based on diagnostic guidelines and a thorough clinical interview. If you feel that your child has a phobia, take him/her to a healthcare expert. Your child's doctor will either ask you or your child about the symptoms. The doctor might also take a medical, psychiatric, and family history.</li><li>Your child's doctor might also use the diagnostic criteria in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5).</li></ul> Treatment:<ul><li>Exposure therapy: In this method, your child will be exposed to the situations that frighten him/her. This is done to help a child get over his/her fear. The situations that trigger the fear or phobia are gradually intensified. For example, at first, your child might be asked to just look at a photo of a tight space. Then, with the help of your child's therapist, your child will be worked up to being inside a tight space. Mind well, this method should be used in the presence of a mental healthcare expert as this can trigger intense panic attacks and anxiety.</li><li>Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT): This is a type of talk therapy where your child can meet with a trained therapist one-on-one. The child will be encouraged to talk the negative thoughts that drive his/her fear and learn ways to overcome them. Your child may get CBT alone or combined with exposure therapy.</li><li>Virtual reality (VR): It's a treatment that uses computer simulations of tight spaces like elevators or MRI machines. Getting the experience of a tight space in the virtual world can help your child get over his/her fear in a setting that feels safe.</li><li>Modelling: In this method the child sees other person facing a closed space situation without any fear or panic.</li><li>Medicines like tranquillisers and antidepressants (prescribed by a doctor) can be helpful along with the above treatments.</li></ul>

Claustrophobia is the fear of closed spaces.

Claustrophobia - Symptoms, Causes, Diagnosis, Treatment

Juhi Mishra

It common for parents to wonder about which schooling system to got for their children. Following are some of the major differences between the two to help you decide which one to go for: <ul><li>Academic Environment</li></ul>In a regular school, children are exposed to an environment which is majorly controlled by the school.Homeschooling gives an opportunity to control the learning environment by minimising distractions. <ul><li>Individualised attention</li></ul>In a regular school, one teacher is there to attend to 20-30 students at one time.In a homeschool set-up there is an opportunity of one-on-one lessons. <ul><li>Curriculum</li></ul>In a regular school, the curriculum is pre-set.In a homeschool set-up, the curriculum may be designed as per the requirement of the child. <ul><li>Health and Safety</li></ul>In a regular school set up, the children are exposed to various kinds of germs and illnesses. Also the safety is a concern as the parents are unable to be around in such a set-up.Children in a homeschool set-up are saved from direct contact to diseases and germs. Also the safety of the child is under the parents’ control. <ul><li>Social aspect</li></ul>In a regular school, children get to meet, connect and socialise with children of their age.In a homeschool set-up, the children may miss out on the socialisation component, if they are not made to mingle in group activities on a regular basis. <ul><li>Travel</li></ul>In a regular school, there may be very limited opportunities for the children to travel and learn.Homeschool families may opt to travel together as a part of their education. <ul><li>Mastery vs. grades</li></ul>While in a regular school, grades may seem to be more important than the learning of a concept, hence, leading to mugging up of the content taught.In a home school set-up, mastery is given more importance hence leading to life-long learning. <ul><li>Religion</li></ul>Religion may not be the focus of teaching and learning in a regular school.Families may decide to take up religious studies as a part of their daily routine and also discuss science, literature and current happenings in the light of their religious beliefs in a homeschool set-up.

Conventional or regular schooling is when children go to an authorised school with other children to study as per the school norms and curriculum. While homeschooling is when the child is educated in the comfort of his/ her house.

Homeschooling vs Conventional Schooling

Friendship is one of the pillars of living a happy life. If your child is not able to make friends in general, it might be because (s)he is an introvert. But if your child is choosy about the gender of his/her friends, it is a different issue altogether. <ul><li>Parents also have an influence on children when it comes to making friends of the opposite gender. A lot of times parents pass comments like “You are a boy, why are you playing with girls?” and vice versa. Hence, consciously or unconsciously parents are responsible for developing gender bias in their tiny minds.</li><li>Be open-minded and let them be free.</li><li>Let them explore the possibilities and consequences rather than you imposing your learning on them.</li><li>Do not constrain their thinking and let them choose their friends on their own.</li><li>Avoid passing comments like “blue is the colour of boys and pink of girls” or “girls cry a lot but boys do not”. Such statements unconsciously make children bend towards their own gender.</li><li>Without your constant inputs, gradually they will learn to make friends of both the genders.</li><li>Friendship is about understanding and comfort. Everyone has a natural tendency to be comfortable around men, women, or both. So for the child also it's the same.</li></ul> Unless you or the society doesn’t put this gender bias in their head, they treat everyone (either a girl or a boy) as equal.

A child's thought process is majorly influenced by the people around him/her.

Child does not make opposite gender friends

Dr Ajab Primuswala

<ul><li>First of all, draw a criterion about what according to you is disobedience. Do these following conditions come under disobedience according to you:</li></ul> <ol><li>(S)he does not follow the things you say.</li><li>(S)he is doing something that is against social norms.</li><li>(S)he is hurting himself or herself.</li><li>(S)he is not listening to you.</li><li>(S)he is wasting time and not being productive.</li></ol> <ul><li>The first thing to do is to check your own behaviour with your child. Children always model their parents. Is your child back answering in the same language which you use with them? If this is the case, mellow down the tone of your language and then try telling them something which you would like them to do.</li></ul>&nbsp;<ul><li>Another thing to keep in mind is that they learn a lot from their peers. Always have an eye on the company they keep. You can’t stop them from being around people but you can make them aware enough to keep their behaviour in check. You can make them aware about what is right, wrong, appropriate, and inappropriate.</li></ul> <ul><li>Reflect on yourself. Think about how you channelise them. Do you directly give them commands like “Don’t do this!”, “You are not allowed to talk like this.” You cannot command them like this because such commands will make your child a rebel. Instead explain them the consequences of their actions.</li></ul> <ul><li>You can explain - “If you talk to this person, this is the language you are going to develop and it is not appropriate in our culture or our social status or our basic learning processes.” “If you feel this is appropriate you can go ahead with it but do not use this kind of language when you are at home.” This is how you make them realise because after a certain age a child develops critical thinking and they have a very strong urge to explore new things.</li></ul> <ul><li>Just telling them plainly about not to do certain things is not going to work. Give your child strong conditioning about why you do not allow him/her to do so and then leave for him/her to decide. This will help your child to develop his/her own perspective. Gradually, (s)he would realise the consequences of his/her actions. Your child will act responsibly when you trust him/her.</li></ul> <ul><li>For children after certain age, friends tend to become more important than family and parents. They are just trying to find their identity among them. Here as a parent you should have a vigilant eye on what kind of friends they have. Keep tabs on what social media they use because gadgets give them a lot of exposure which they are not able to digest at a very young age. So be vigilant, stay with them but don’t keep hovering that they start taking you as a disturbance in their life.</li></ul>

Before assuming that your child is a disobedient child, assess what according to you is disobedience.

Dealing with a disobedient child

Acrophobia is the fear of heights that can cause anxiety and panic among children. Causes:<ul><li>Acrophobia is sometimes developed due to a traumatic experience in early years of a child’s life. Like falling from a great height, or closely watching someone from high place.</li><li>Acrophobia, can also develop without a known cause. In these cases, genetics or environmental factors may play a role.</li></ul> Physical symptoms:<ul><li>Increased sweating</li><li>Chest pain or tightness</li><li>Increased heartbeat</li><li>Nausea</li><li>Headache</li><li>Shaking and trembling</li><li>Feeling dizzy</li><li>Numbness</li><li>Shortness of breath</li><li>Upset stomach</li></ul> Psychological symptoms:<ul><li>Experiencing panic when the child sees high places</li><li>Child experiencing extreme fear of being trapped somewhere high up</li><li>Experiencing extreme anxiety and fear when the child has to climb stairs, look out a window, or drive along an overpass</li><li>Worrying excessively about encountering heights in the future</li></ul> Diagnosis:<ul><li>A mental health expert can diagnose phobia; keep a regular track of your child’s behaviour/health in particular situations and with objects.</li><li>Phobia diagnosis is based on diagnostic guidelines and a thorough clinical interview. If you feel that your child has a phobia, take him/her to a healthcare expert. Your child's doctor will either ask you or your child about the symptoms. The doctor might also take a medical, psychiatric, and family history.</li><li>Your child's doctor might also use the diagnostic criteria in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5).</li></ul> Treatment:<ul><li>Exposure therapy: In this type of therapy, your child will work with a therapist to slowly expose himself/herself to what (s)he is afraid of. For acrophobia, your child might start by looking at the pictures from the point of view of someone inside a tall building. The therapist might make your child watch video clips of people crossing tightropes, climbing, or crossing narrow bridges. Eventually, your child will progress and might go out onto a balcony or use a stepladder.</li><li>Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT): In CBT, you child will work with a therapist to challenge and reframe negative thoughts about heights. This approach may still include a bit of exposure to heights, but this is generally only done within the safe setting of a therapy session.</li><li>Virtual reality (VR): It is a treatment where your child will be exposed to computer simulations of heights. Getting the experience of a heighted place in the virtual world can help your child get over his/her fear in a setting that feels safe.</li><li>Modelling: In this method, the child sees other person facing the situation without fear and panic.</li><li>Medicines like tranquillisers and antidepressants (prescribed by a doctor) can be helpful along with the above treatments.</li></ul>

Acrophobia is the fear of heights that can cause anxiety and panic among children.

Acrophobia - Symptoms, Causes, Diagnosis, Treatment

Ravina Sewani

When a part of the body is injured and blood from the damaged capillaries, with no place to go, gets trapped under the skin, forming a red or purplish mark called as a bruise. Bruises can happen for many reasons, but most are the result of bumping and banging into things. Fortunately, the mark isn't permanent. How long do bruises last?<ul><li>Bruises usually fade away in about 2 weeks. Over that time, the bruise changes the colour as the body breaks down and reabsorbs the blood. The colour of the bruise can give you an idea how old it is:</li><li>When a child first gets a bruise, it is reddish as the blood appears under the skin.</li><li>Within 1 or 2 days, the haemoglobin changes the colour to bluish-purple or even blackish.</li><li>After 5 to 10 days, the bruise turns greenish or yellowish.</li><li>Then, after 10 or 14 days, it turns yellowish-brown or light brown.</li><li>Finally, after about 2 weeks, the bruise fades away.</li></ul> Who gets bruises?Anyone can get a bruise. Some people bruise easily, while others don't. Bruising depends on several things:<ul><li>Toughness of the skin tissue</li><li>Certain diseases or conditions</li><li>Whether your child is taking certain medications</li><li>Elderly people bruise easily as the blood vessels tend to become fragile as people get older</li></ul> Treating a bruise:<ul><li>Apply a cold compress to your child’s bruise to help slow down the blood that's flowing to the area, which decreases the amount of blood that ends up leaking into the tissues. It also helps keep the inflammation and swelling down. All you have to do is apply cold to your child’s bruise for 15 to 20 minutes every hour for a day or two after the bruise appears.</li><li>If you are using ice instead of a cold pack, wrap it in a cloth or a towel and place it on the bruise; don't apply the ice directly to the skin.</li><li>To reduce swelling and bruising, elevate the bruised area above the level of the heart. If the bruise is on your child’s knee, make them lie down on a couch or bed and prop their leg up. This will help prevent the blood from pooling in the area because more of the blood will flow back toward your heart. If your child keeps standing, more blood will flow to his/her bruised knee and the bruise will be larger.</li></ul> Minor bruises are easily treated, but talk to a doctor if:<ul><li>A bruise isn't improving after 2 weeks.</li><li>Bruises seem to develop for no known reasons.</li><li>A bruise is swelling and is very painful for your child.</li><li>If your child can't move a joint or if they have a broken bone.</li><li>The bruise is near the eye and your child has difficulty moving his/her eyes or seeing.</li></ul> Prevention:Bruises are kind of hard to avoid completely. Make your there are no pointed furniture in the house to limit bruises for your child.Make them wear protective gear when they are playing sports, riding a bike, inline skating.

When a part of the body is injured and blood from the damaged capillaries, with no place to go, gets trapped under the skin, forming a red or purplish mark called as a bruise.

Bruises in children

Every child needs full attention of a parent. While you are busy with the younger one, your elder child will experience a range of emotions, from excitement to jealousy or may be responsible and caring. In order to seek your attention, the elder child may show more tantrums or misbehave or refuse to eat. These emotions are short-lived but if not addressed well can have lasting impact on a child’s mind. Here are a few ways to make sure that your elder child does not feel neglected:<ul><li>Let them not feel left out: Take an extra care to ensure that the elder child never feels neglected (unintentionally though). Ask their suggestions for picking up clothes for newborn, choosing the toys for little one and more. Make sure you spend equal time with both the kids</li><li>Avoid giving excuses: Never make the younger one an excuse for not attending the elder child – “we can’t go to the park/playground as the baby is sleeping” “Keep quiet the baby will wake up” “After I attend the baby, I will listen to you” Instead tell him/her , “ We will play together when the baby wakes up, We will go to the park together May be giving a hope and the feeling of togetherness will help the child.</li><li>Pay more attention: Express extra care and love for elder one, increase your daily hugs and play some games or increase story time for the elder one.</li><li>Avoid comparing: This comes unintentionally but it can have a strategic impact on a child’s mind. Little things like who crawled first, child’s weight or who walked first can be taken as criticism by the elder one.</li></ul> Ensure both the children get equal attention and feel loved.

Every child needs full attention of a parent. So, pause and reflect on your parenting to make sure none of your children feel left out.

Managing sibling insecurity

Parenting is indeed a tough job and we always thrive to learn skills that can make us a better parent. Parenting is a natural relationship that goes stronger with every passing day with your child. While we may ensure we do not commit any mistakes that can hurt our child, here are some of them we should totally avoid: <ol><li>Neglecting child: Hectic work schedules and domestic responsibilities may keep us busy but avoiding our children will make them feel disinterested in society and people around them. Remember, giving them a substitute (games or smart phones) is not the solution; a child feels happy and empowered only with a parent’s attention.</li><li>Disrespecting the child: Never insult them; they are too young and tend to make many mistakes. Even if the mistake is in front of guests or a large crowd, it is always better to explain it to the child when alone. Shaming will undermine a child’s confidence.</li><li>Comparing hurts: Although it may not be intentional, comparison will lead to jealousy. Also it lowers the self confidence. The child starts liking himself/herself lesser. Hence, avoid comparing your child’s behaviour or work with their friends or siblings.</li><li>Fighting in front of children: Research shows that children who grow up observing their parents fight at home are more likely to bully others. It is difficult to avoid arguments but make sure the disagreements do not turn into a fight (in front of children). One of the parents can decide to discuss it when the child is asleep or is in school.</li><li>Protecting your child more than required: Let them face situations and experience difficulties in solving problems. It is difficult to resist but try it, the child will be independent and will avoid making same the mistakes again. Do not solve problems for your child on a regular basis.</li><li>Scolding the child excessively: If you constantly scold your child for their mistakes, (s)he might either go completely silent or will behave recklessly in the future. Try to understand their viewpoint and let them know that it’s only human to make any mistakes and that it’s okay to make mistakes as long as we learn from them.</li><li>Disciplining the child in front of everyone: If you keep on scolding/yelling at your child to be disciplined in front of others, it scraps them off of their self-confidence.</li><li>Not showing affection.</li><li>Lack of support.</li><li>Not praising them for their achievements.</li><li>Not talking about their feelings.</li><li>Not giving them a choice.</li><li>Not spending time.</li><li>Lack of trust.</li><li>Hitting your child.</li><li>Threaten to leave your kids behind.</li><li>Lie to your child.</li></ol> These are very basic pointers but parents unintentionally tend to overlook them. From time to time, take a break and reflect on your parenting and you will be good to go.

Parenting is indeed a tough job and we always thrive to learn skills that can make us a better parent.

Avoiding Negative Parenting Practices

Divorce is harsh on both, the parents and the child(ren). If you have planned for divorce, then surely it must have been after a lot of thought and because the relationship was just too difficult to carry on with. First and foremost thing is to remember that divorce is between husband and wife. The child is nowhere at fault in the whole scenario. So (s)he should not suffer. Things to keep in mind before going ahead with divorce:<ul><li>When you have decided to get divorced, take into consideration your child’s age and also take their consent for the same. It is important to get your child(ren) on the same page as you are because the divorce is going to affect them as well.</li><li>Our social structure dictates that a child should stay with both the parents. But with divorce, that’s not going to happen. So explain this change to your child that now (s)he will be staying with only either of the parents.</li><li>It is understandable that both the parents might want the custody of the child. But here, don’t be selfish. Instead of keeping yourself first, keep your child at the centre. Both of you might know who the child is most comfortable with and with whom (s)he close to. When you have the answer, decide mutually that the custody of the child should go to that parent.</li></ul> Things to keep in mind during the legal process of divorce:<ul><li>Avoid heated arguments and conflicts in front of your child. Keep legal talks away from your kids. If there is any disturbing conversation to be made, do it in your child’s absence.</li><li>Confine negativity and blame to private therapy sessions.</li><li>Converse with your child: Listen to them carefully. Make them comfortable. Ensure they feel safe, secure and heard whenever they want to talk. Help them put their feelings into words.</li><li>Show validation for their feelings: Let them know it is okay to feel sad without their father or mother. And at the same time there are reasons to be happy as well for the changes in the future. Like if there is going to be change in the house or school, let them know it's going to be new and exciting too. Give them perspective.</li><li>Make it very clear that they will always be loved by both parents. They are never at fault; children tend to feel guilty so make sure they know it clearly that divorce is no one’s fault. It is just that sometimes elders can’t adjust the ways the other person lives. That is why they have mutually decided to stay in different places. Keep it simple and truthful and explain keeping their age and maturity into consideration.</li><li>Allow kids to express disappointment: They can talk about their pain or grief. They may exhibit some awkward behaviour when they can’t accept the changes. Sometimes they themselves do not understand or realise the cause of their anger or frustration. Give them some time to adjust. Be supportive and co-operative. We all go through such rough phases so allow them to feel it and be with them, talk to them. Get clinical help if required. Talk to a counsellor. Get help whenever required.</li></ul> After the divorce, keep in mind:<ul><li>Once the custody matter of the child is resolved, it is upon the parent with whom the child stays that they don’t speak negatively about the other parent in front of the child. Divorce is an issue between a husband and a wife, the child is never at fault. And so the child should not suffer nor should (s)he have any negative feelings about either of the parents.</li><li>Whatever arrangements you have made for you and your child – number of times the child meets the other parents, meeting arrangements as a family, family outings, etc. – all need to be discussed with the child in plain black and white terms. Never keep a child in shady greys of doubts.</li><li>Keeping them in doubt will hamper a child’s relation with both the parents.</li></ul>

Divorce can be quite difficult for a child. It is important that parents handle this situation very carefully.

sleep urinating parenting concerns

Parenting issues are a part of the everyday parenting journey. Following article(s) might help you with your concern(s).