Friendship is one of the pillars of living a happy life. If your child is not able to make friends in general, it might be because (s)he is an introvert. But if your child is choosy about the gender of his/her friends, it is a different issue altogether. <ul><li>Parents also have an influence on children when it comes to making friends of the opposite gender. A lot of times parents pass comments like “You are a boy, why are you playing with girls?” and vice versa. Hence, consciously or unconsciously parents are responsible for developing gender bias in their tiny minds.</li><li>Be open-minded and let them be free.</li><li>Let them explore the possibilities and consequences rather than you imposing your learning on them.</li><li>Do not constrain their thinking and let them choose their friends on their own.</li><li>Avoid passing comments like “blue is the colour of boys and pink of girls” or “girls cry a lot but boys do not”. Such statements unconsciously make children bend towards their own gender.</li><li>Without your constant inputs, gradually they will learn to make friends of both the genders.</li><li>Friendship is about understanding and comfort. Everyone has a natural tendency to be comfortable around men, women, or both. So for the child also it's the same.</li></ul> Unless you or the society doesn’t put this gender bias in their head, they treat everyone (either a girl or a boy) as equal.

A child's thought process is majorly influenced by the people around him/her.

Child does not make opposite gender friends

Sleep walking is common in kids; Most kids outgrow it by they reach their teens. Sleep walking usually lasts between five to fifteen minutes. The child would not remember a thing they did while sleepwalking. If your child is sleep walking, never try to wake them in the middle of the movement as it can aggravate the situation. Just gently get them back on bed with guided instructions or holding their hand to get them back. Causes of sleepwalking:<ul><li>Lack of sleep or the child is too tired</li><li>If the child has irregular sleep schedules</li><li>In case of fever or other illness</li><li>It may occur due to some medication</li><li>Stress could also cause sleepwalking</li><li>Inheritance (family history)</li></ul> What happens during sleep walking:<ul><li>They are sleep talking.</li><li>They seem dazed.</li><li>They look confused.</li><li>They won’t respond to you.</li><li>They might keep rubbing their eyes or fussing with clothes.</li><li>Their eyes are open but they don’t see things the same way they do when they are awake.</li></ul> If your child is sleep walking, you can prevent it by following these simple tips:<ul><li>Do not give sugar or coffee before sleeping.</li><li>Have a cool atmosphere in the room – preferably 25 degrees.</li><li>Avoid giving water or fluids before bed time and make sure they go to toilet (empty their bladder) before going to bed.</li><li>Bed room should be dark, quiet and comfortable for a perfect sleep.</li><li>Sleep on same time daily.</li></ul> Apart from these precautions, it is also advisable to take safety measures if your child sleep walks:<ul><li>Lock the doors and windows at night.</li><li>Keep alarms on doors and windows.</li><li>Keeping hazardous things out of reach.</li><li>Sleep walker should not sleep on bunk bed.</li><li>Install safety gates on staircase.</li></ul> Risk levels of Sleepwalking:<ol><li>Harmless- like sitting up</li><li>Potentially dangerous- like wandering outside</li><li>Inappropriate- like opening a closet door and peeing in it.</li></ol> Severity of this condition:It is not harmful but hazardous as they might run into doors or walk down the stairs, fall and hurt themselves. There is nothing wrong with your child’s emotional or psychological well-being. It does not cause any emotional harm. When to see a doctor:<ul><li>When this becomes a regular episode.</li><li>When your child stays sleepy all day.</li><li>When he or she either harms him/herself or others in sleep.</li><li>Consult a psychologist in extreme behavioural pattern to check whether there is any specific brain activity responsible for this.</li></ul>

Sleep walking is common in kids; Most kids outgrow it by they reach their teens.

Managing Sleep Walking Habit in Children

Dr Ajab Primuswala

<ul><li>It is important to understand the psychological reasons behind why does a child back answers every time you tell him/her something.</li><li>Whenever you notice that your child is back answering, the first thing&nbsp;to do is observe your own behaviour with them subjectively. A child always models your behaviour.</li><li>Look for incidents or triggers which motivates them to back-answer or not to listen to you.</li><li>When you talk about your misbehaving child, look for any circumstances which they are not able to make you understand, look for their requirements or their hidden feelings and emotions.</li><li>Sometimes a child is unhappy because of some dispute with their siblings or friends and is unable to do anything about it or unable to talk about it, in that case (s)he may come to you and shower in his/her frustration in terms of back answers or misbehaviour. Here, a child is either thinking of not reacting or is unable to express their feelings and so this&nbsp;acted as one of the triggers to misbehave.</li><li>As a parent we usually command them to do certain things, we don’t even try to understand their needs, their feelings and emotions, what would they appreciate. We just look at our perspective as adults and go ahead with it. So the child can misbehave to prove his/her point. Sometimes they know that their behaviour is not appropriate but they would still continue to do so just to prove their point.</li><li>Age factor plays a major role in understanding a child’s misbehaviour or back answering. If the child is too young, say 3 or 4 years and is misbehaving, they might have some unmet needs. They are seeking your attention and trying to grab you more in this negative&nbsp;manner. The need could be as simple as sleep or hunger but they don't understand themselves so they are unable to convey it correctly.</li><li>For a 5-8 year child, by misbehaving they are trying to lure you or trying to bring your attention towards them. The reason could be a lack of proper communication. You may feel that you talk to your child all day and night but no! What you might be doing is just giving guidance and giving commands or pointing out their mistakes. For example “Did you finish your work?” “Stop banging the door”! “see! You forgot to flush the toilet”. There is no communication.</li><li>Communication means even you are listening to them rather than just giving commands or pointing mistakes or doing interrogation. Irrespective of age, communication is extremely important for your child.</li><li>So rather than scolding, getting irritated or upset with them, calm them down. Make them sit. First lower down your voice, ask them to talk to you in soft manner. If they feel that they are disturbed, ask them to calm down for a while and leave them for a while. Leave them with a calming thought.</li><li>Give them time to reflect on their behaviour. Don’t start commanding or being their boss, saying, "Stop doing this”! “You can’t do this to me”. By doing so you are giving them the image that it is okay to shout, it is okay to back-answer. You don’t want them to learn this from you, right?</li><li>The behaviour you want from your child should come first from you. If you feel you aren’t giving enough space, give them space. If the issue is about giving time, give them enough time. Time here&nbsp;doesn’t mean watching TV or playing video games with them.&nbsp;Giving time means planning an activity for spending quality time where you both are involved in the process. The child should enjoy that time with you, The child should enjoy being with you and communicating with you. Teaching them, making them learn, going on long drives would not count here. Before doing any activity for quality time, make sure your child likes it, talk to them and know their viewpoint.</li><li>What a child wants, is to sit beside you, talk to you about their fancy ideas, wants you to hear their school and bus stories, their teacher’s talks and all about what is happening in their life.</li><li>Usually, we tend to overlook these criteria where a child is having some issues outside the house, either in school, with batch mates, with peers, or someone in the surroundings or there could be a pressure of studies as well. Study pressure is not only during board exams but it may be their own expectations towards their own selves.</li><li>Just verbalise it, bring it to point, explain them and still if they misbehave try to find the root cause rather than just shouting back at them.</li></ul>

Back answering is not just a misbehaviour of your child. There might be underlying reasons for that.

Teaching child not to back answer

Palak Vyas

Pacifier is something which is going to be there in your baby’s mouth for a long period so you want to be very sure about how and what to consider before buying one. <ul><li>Size: First things first, consider the size of the pacifier and the age of your baby. Pay attention to the recommended age bracket on each pacifier.</li></ul>Up to 6 months: small-sized pacifier6 to 18 months: medium-sized pacifier18 months and above: large-sized pacifier <ul><li>Construction: Pacifiers come in many varieties like single-piece, three-piece, stuffed animal, etc. With the 3 piece pacifier, make sure that any of the parts should not be lightly attached. They should be fixed properly to avoid any kind of choking hazard. Single piece pacifiers are the safest of all.</li></ul> <ul><li>Nipple material: There are two different materials available in the market.</li></ul> <ol><li>Silicone: This is easy to clean and is less prone to retain odours. They can be easily washed in dishwashers.</li><li>Latex: They are softer and are more flexible than silicone material but this material wears out faster. Usually, they are not dishwasher safe. If your baby is allergic to latex then you can either use natural rubber, non-latex or silicone ones.</li></ol>&nbsp;<ul><li>Guard type: There is a standard size as per the baby’s age and so you have to select accordingly. The guard prevents your baby from drawing the nipple into his/her mouth and choking while (s)he is using the pacifier. There are holes in the guard to allow air circulation between the guard and the baby’s face and prevent moisture rashes.</li></ul> <ul><li>Washable: It has to be easy to wash and sterile. Pacifiers must be dishwasher safe if possible.</li></ul> <ul><li>Use coloured pacifiers so that you can spot them easily.</li></ul>&nbsp;<ul><li>Don’t attach anything with your baby’s pacifier. Do not sugar coat it. Do not attach it to your baby’s body. Always keep it clean.</li></ul>

A pacifier is a rubber, plastic, or silicone nipple which is given to an infant to suck upon. It comes with a mouth shield to avoid the danger of swallowing it and choking up on it.

Selecting a pacifier for your baby

Parameters for selecting baby wipes are branded or generic, scented or unscented, disposable or reusable. <ul><li>You can choose a generic product to be cost-effective if you are comfortable with it.</li><li>Some babies have highly sensitive skin. So for them, you can opt for unscented wipes and even reusable cloth wipes.</li><li>Before buying in bulk, it is recommended that first you try a handful of variety and decide for yourself which suits your child the best.</li><li>Baby wipes come in two different packaging. One is a plastic box and other is a pop up wipe box. The plastic box is refillable so it's more convenient. Go for the one you’re comfortable with.</li><li>Flush-able wipes are also available; you can directly flush them off.</li><li>You can also find reusable and disposable wipes. Disposable wipes are convenient and more sanitary. The reusable wipes are recommended for infants, newborn babies whose skin is very sensitive. This is an economical and eco-friendly option as well. You can experiment with both the types and depending upon the convenience and suitability of your child, you can use any.</li><li>Always read the ingredient list for the disposable wipes. Select alcohol-free and fragrance-free product.</li><li>Compare the sizes available and check which one is cost-effective and solves the purpose.</li><li>Do not reuse disposable wipes. Always moisten reusable cloth wipes with warm water and clean them thoroughly after use.</li></ul>

Baby wipes are wet cleaning clothes used for hygiene purposes. Buy wipes which are gentle on your baby's skin.

Selecting baby wipes for your child

Take the following points into consideration before buying a rocker: <ol><li>The first and foremost, it should be safe and easy to move around. A lightweight and normal-sized rocker is good to use. Not too big and not too small. Choose as per your baby’s size and weight.</li><li>It should be easy to clean, as babies tend to spit or throw up sometimes. Look for a removable machine - washable cover or a waterproof fabric that is easy to wipe down.</li><li>The seat should be adjustable.</li><li>If it has good music or soothing lights, depending upon your personal choice you can select that feature.</li><li>There are two options available for rocker: Motorised and Manual. Depending upon your preferences you can select any. Both are fine.</li></ol>

A rocker is a baby chair with a slanted base so that you can rock your baby gently while they lie in the chair.

Selecting a rocker for your baby

Intolerance means the child is not able to share his/her space and get comfortable with other kids. You can try the following to improve the situation:<ul><li>Tell your child that you love them and just like you care for them, others will care for them too if they allow others in their space.</li><li>Keep a track of whether your child is being rude or abusive when their friends visit him/her or whether your child just walks away when friends visit. If your child is being rude or abusive, it is not acceptable. Tell them that being rude will have consequences.</li><li>But if they are just walking away, make your child greet and talk to their friend(s) and then walk away politely rather than walking away in an aggressive manner.</li><li>Intolerance may have psychological reasons as well. It may be because your child has trust issues due to a past experience or something else.</li><li>Observe their behaviour with everyone. Are they being intolerant of everyone or just of a single person? If it is everyone, you should get a clinical psychologist's help to tackle this behaviour. If it is just one person, the child might have had some bitter experience(s) with that particular person. Talk to your child to know the reason. If they don't give in, a psychologist can help you and your child.</li><li>The reason behind intolerance needs to be figured out at the earliest and a psychologist might be able to help you and your child in this matter.</li></ul>

Intolerance is not the same as possessiveness. It might have underlying reasons.

Child does not tolerate others

This is absolutely your personal choice. In some cultures and traditions, it is compulsory to pierce the baby's ears. Whereas in some cases people do it just for fashion. Certain points to keep in mind while getting your baby’s ears pierced: <ul><li>If you want to get your daughter’s ear pierced, get it done at an early age. Because after she grows up, it will be difficult for you to stop her from touching her ears. If her hands are dirty and she constantly touches her ears, it can lead to infection.</li><li>Piercing should be done hygienically and by professionals only.</li><li>Do not use danglers at the time of piercing because they might get tangled in your baby’s dress and may worsen the pain.</li><li>Using gold and silver studs reduces chances of any allergic reactions.</li><li>After you have gotten your child’s ears pierced, do not make them wear very heavy earrings at a young age.</li></ul>

Get your child's ear pierced only if they like it.

Getting your child's ears' pierced

Every child is gifted and special for their parents.Giftedness, on the other hand, is when the child’s ability to do a certain thing is significantly above the norm for their age. <ul><li>A child can be gifted in one or more domains like – intellectual, creative, leadership, artistic or giftedness can manifest in a specific academic field like – mathematics, language arts, or science.</li><li>If you feel and observe that your child can achieve things which others his age are not able to, your child might be gifted.</li><li>A psychologist will be able to help you confirm this as there are many similarities between a gifted child and a child on the ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) spectrum.</li><li>It is better to consult an expert to confirm your child’s giftedness.</li><li>Gifted children need to be admitted to a special school which will fulfil their above-average needs and help them grow better.</li><li>In order to check the ability of your child, compare your child’s ability with respect to age-appropriate scenarios with other children.</li><li>When you sync age of your child, skill(s) of your child, and the age-appropriate norm and find that your child achieving above everyone else, your child is considered gifted.</li></ul>

sleep urinating parenting concerns

Parenting issues are a part of the everyday parenting journey. Following article(s) might help you with your concern(s).