Palak Vyas

Following points can be considered while selecting a baby box for your baby: <ol><li>The box should be spacious and sturdy, basically appropriate for your baby.</li><li>The material should be able to stand your baby’s weight.</li><li>Baby Boxes can be used until 6 months or till your baby learns to sit or crawl on their own. So buy the boxes keeping in mind your baby’s growth for six months at least.</li><li>Ensure the base is well balanced.</li><li>Check whether it is comfortable for you and your baby to use a baby box. Generally, babies feel safe, secure and happy in the baby box.</li><li>The bottom mattress should be firm and properly fitted.</li></ol>

Baby boxes are also known as sleep boxes. These are simple cardboard boxes which can be used in place of cribs for babies to sleep in.

Selecting a baby box for your baby

About 30-60% of elementary school students bite their nails at some point. Although it is an annoying habit, nail-biting in kids doesn’t mean any serious health issue.<ul><li>Kids bite their nails due to various reasons such as curiosity, to pass the time, to relieve stress and anxiety, habit or imitation.</li><li>The most common reason for child biting nails is to relieve anxiety and stress. They may also shake legs or even rub ears to relieve from anxiety and stress. All children get anxious which triggers this habit. Joining a new school, pressure to perform well in class or feeling shy at a social function are common triggers. In such cases, there’s nothing to worry about. You just need to find a good time and discuss the things (s)he may be tensed about.</li><li>In rare cases, severe nail-biting can be a sign of excessive anxiety. Consult your child's health professional if nail-biting is severe, long term, surfaced suddenly and co-occurs with other worrisome behaviours like picking at his/her skin, pulling his hair or if (s)he's not sleeping well.</li><li>Sometimes when the child is pampered a lot at home and if that child has to go out to some friends’ or relatives’ or anywhere alone or when they don't find their parents around, they start biting nails to distract self.</li></ul> Ways to combat child's nail biting habit:<ul><li>Cut your child's nails regularly.</li><li>If your child is old enough, give them finger foods.</li><li>Engage them in an activity or give them a toy which will keep their fingers busy and hence distract your child from biting the nails.</li><li>Develop a code word or a subtle sign between you and your child. Whenever you notice your child nibbling on his/her nails, you can say the code-word or gesture your sign without letting anyone else know about it. This will keep your child alert to not bite the nails.</li><li>You can try applying bite averting nail paints on your child's nails. But keep in mind, that sometimes such nail paints can be irritating for your child so consult your child's doctor before using such a chemical.</li><li>Explain the health consequences of biting nails to your child. Unhealthy nails can lead to upset stomach as well.</li><li>As a parent, you can build your child’s confidence. The child can be gradually taught to be self confident and they should be allowed to go and meet new friends, family members on whom the child has trust. This will boost the child's self confidence and if the situation is due to this nature of the child, the habit can be get ridden off.</li></ul>

Nail biting is common not only in children but also in adults. It is important to understand the underlying reasons behind this habit.

Nail biting habit in children

Dr Ajab Primuswala

<ul><li>When you say that your child is lying, there are two aspects to it. Whether the child is lying to save himself/herself or whether the child is lying for fun sake.</li><li>If the child is lying to get away from punishment for something which they did, it is their defence.</li><li>Make it a point to make them realise that their behaviour is unaccepted. You can do this by telling them, “Irrespective of whatever you have lied, I know the things you have done. You can’t hide it from me.”</li><li>If they are lying for fun, make them realise that there are consequences for this lying habit.</li><li>Lying is something which they are using as a defence mechanism or as a method of manipulating and altering the truth.</li><li>Here, being calm is the most important requirement for the parent because as parents we feel, “Oh! How can my child lie to me?”</li><li>You have to be very sure that your child is lying to you. You will have to talk to them and give them a solid proof that you know they were lying.</li><li>You have to be sure and be thorough with the facts because children are very smart. If you just say, “You are lying and I know”, they will not agree to it. So keep your facts ready and then confront them.</li><li>Confronting your child has to be an immediate action after the episode. If you know that your child has lied to you today, then confront him/her there and then. Do not keep it hanging.</li><li>Lying tendency also comes with the concept of fear. Maybe your child is too scared of sharing his or her stuff with you and that's the reason they might be lying to you.</li><li>Here, what you can do is, try and gain that trust and develop a rapport with your child where the child doesn’t want to lie to you. It is just that they are scared of your behaviour towards them and this is motivating them to lie.</li><li>So first check for yourself that whether you are the reason behind your child’s lying. If yes, you can rectify yourself and go ahead and reassure them that they can share anything and everything with you. Tell them, “It’s okay, I will handle it and you can trust me completely, you don’t need to lie to me”.</li></ul>

Children lie when they feel they actions will not be accepted by their parents. Assure your child that you will be there to support them when things go downhill.

Dealing with child's habit of lying

Sleep walking is common in kids; Most kids outgrow it by they reach their teens. Sleep walking usually lasts between five to fifteen minutes. The child would not remember a thing they did while sleepwalking. If your child is sleep walking, never try to wake them in the middle of the movement as it can aggravate the situation. Just gently get them back on bed with guided instructions or holding their hand to get them back. Causes of sleepwalking:<ul><li>Lack of sleep or the child is too tired</li><li>If the child has irregular sleep schedules</li><li>In case of fever or other illness</li><li>It may occur due to some medication</li><li>Stress could also cause sleepwalking</li><li>Inheritance (family history)</li></ul> What happens during sleep walking:<ul><li>They are sleep talking.</li><li>They seem dazed.</li><li>They look confused.</li><li>They won’t respond to you.</li><li>They might keep rubbing their eyes or fussing with clothes.</li><li>Their eyes are open but they don’t see things the same way they do when they are awake.</li></ul> If your child is sleep walking, you can prevent it by following these simple tips:<ul><li>Do not give sugar or coffee before sleeping.</li><li>Have a cool atmosphere in the room – preferably 25 degrees.</li><li>Avoid giving water or fluids before bed time and make sure they go to toilet (empty their bladder) before going to bed.</li><li>Bed room should be dark, quiet and comfortable for a perfect sleep.</li><li>Sleep on same time daily.</li></ul> Apart from these precautions, it is also advisable to take safety measures if your child sleep walks:<ul><li>Lock the doors and windows at night.</li><li>Keep alarms on doors and windows.</li><li>Keeping hazardous things out of reach.</li><li>Sleep walker should not sleep on bunk bed.</li><li>Install safety gates on staircase.</li></ul> Risk levels of Sleepwalking:<ol><li>Harmless- like sitting up</li><li>Potentially dangerous- like wandering outside</li><li>Inappropriate- like opening a closet door and peeing in it.</li></ol> Severity of this condition:It is not harmful but hazardous as they might run into doors or walk down the stairs, fall and hurt themselves. There is nothing wrong with your child’s emotional or psychological well-being. It does not cause any emotional harm. When to see a doctor:<ul><li>When this becomes a regular episode.</li><li>When your child stays sleepy all day.</li><li>When he or she either harms him/herself or others in sleep.</li><li>Consult a psychologist in extreme behavioural pattern to check whether there is any specific brain activity responsible for this.</li></ul>

Sleep walking is common in kids; Most kids outgrow it by they reach their teens.

Managing Sleep Walking Habit in Children

Confidence is one of the greatest gifts that a parent can give to the child. Young children need a lot of encouragement at every stage, be it crawling, learning to walk or draw a circle.Shy kids are mostly thoughtful, self-reliant and empathetic. If your child feels a little shy in opening up with new people, try this:<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Accept the fact that your child takes some time to mingle with people but do not make statements. Accepting the child in his/her wholeness gives confidence to the child. Do not publicly make statements such as “(s)he is too shy in front of new people”.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">At the same time do not intervene when they are asked a question. It may take some time to answer, but let them try.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">You can also arrange play dates to help the child open up with social circles.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Encourage curiosity in children; never stop them from asking questions. Answering their questions empowers a child and makes the child more confident.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Boost your child’s social skills, like when in a store, encourage them to pay to cashier, let them order their own food when in a restaurant.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Praise your child for little efforts, eg when they greet guests at home. If they feel uncomfortable talking in social situations, talk about it and encourage them to try next time.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">A child learns by noticing parents, behave or talk the way you want your children to talk. Model a behaviour expected from the children.</li></ul>

A child will always stay true to his/her nature. Nonetheless, there is always room for changes and improvements.

Dealing with an introvert child

Keep the following things in mind while inculcating the listening skill in your child: <ul><li>Be a good listener yourself:&nbsp;Avoid interrupting your child when (s)he is talking or saying something.</li><li>Try and give simple and easy instructions.</li><li>Whenever your child listens carefully, always praise them.</li><li>Teach them why it is important to be a good listener.</li><li>Model good communication skills.</li><li>Ask them to repeat what you said after they have heard you completely.</li><li>Read stories to them and let the child predict the ending.</li><li>Listen to audio stories as family time.</li><li>Play games like Simon says, add-on stories (where everybody adds their own sentences and the story moves forward), Copy cat (where you say funny rhyming words which the child has to repeat), and many such.</li><li>Listen patiently whenever they talk to you and teach them the same.</li><li>Help your child build vocabulary so they can convey easily and understand what is being said.</li><li>Always remember that young children have short attention span so never say multiple things at one go.</li></ul>

Children model their parents the most. Develop the listening skill yourself and then help the child to achieve the same.

Teaching child to be a good listener

Mustafa Lokhandwala

Permissive parenting has very few rules and expectations of children. Most times, the parents are loving and express caring about their children, but they don’t see their children as mature or capable enough to carry out certain tasks or responsibilities that require self-control. This style has also been linked to riskier behaviours in older children, like heavy drinking in adolescents and alcohol-related problems as young adults. These parents do not expect mature behaviour from their children and often seem more like a friend than a parental figure. Ask their children's opinions on major decisions. Emphasize their children's freedom rather than responsibility. Have few rules or standards of behaviour, any rules they do have are inconsistent. May use bribery such as toys, gifts, and food as a means to get a child to behave. Characteristics Permissive parents are highly responsive to their children’s needs and nurture their talents and personality. But they are least demanding because they have low expectations on discipline and self-regulation from their children. <ol><li>Responsive and demanding –&nbsp;Permissive parents are warm and responsive, and that's a good thing. Parents show affectionate which create a secure attachment in relationships. It protects a child from stress and anxiety.</li><li>Friendly behaviour -&nbsp;The parenting style is characterized by parents having a very friendly attitude towards their children. The parents behave more like friends with their kids.</li><li>Loving and Nurturing –&nbsp;Parent often loves and adores their children. The parent will respond to the child’s emotional needs, whether truly necessary or not. They typically do not lack in this department. If a child is not being affectionate, a permissive mom or dad will often try to buy their child’s love and affection with gifts and bribery.</li><li>Self-control –&nbsp;In this style parent behaviour towards their child leads to bad habits in terms of nutrition, screen time, poor sleep schedule and many other aspects of life. A child is not able to understand the long-term effects of these poor choices.</li><li>Child freedom -&nbsp;Permissive parents allow their children to do as they please. These types of parents may even be afraid to set limits. With free roam, a child will over-indulge in unwanted things. In the parent’s eyes, this allows the child to be “true to their nature.”&nbsp;</li><li>Uses gifts and bribery -&nbsp;When a child acts up, permissive parents are often afraid to discipline their child. Instead, they will use bribes (candy, money, electronics, etc.) to persuade the child to do what they want.</li></ol> Effects on Children Children may love the permissive parenting style as it gives them the maximum freedom without any strings attached. But it could be problematic in the long-run. <ul><li>Struggle&nbsp;to learn good problem-solving and decision-making skills.</li><li>Display&nbsp;low academic achievement.</li><li>They may be&nbsp;demanding and have difficulty sharing.</li><li>Lack of boundaries results in&nbsp;insecurity in a child(ren).</li><li>May not take responsibility for their behaviour.</li><li>Show&nbsp;more aggression&nbsp;and&nbsp;less emotional&nbsp;understanding.</li><li>Unable to manage&nbsp;their habits and behaviour.</li><li>More likely to be&nbsp;overweight.</li></ul> Pros of Permissive Parenting As this parenting style focuses on being a friend to a child rather than a parent, the parents understand their children better, and communication becomes easy as they grow old. Here are some more benefits of permissive parenting: Self-assurance -&nbsp;When children are encouraged to express themselves freely, they will become more confident and willing to try new things, regardless of the consequences. Unconditional love is the key to raising a child who values him or herself.Exploration&nbsp;- Permissive parenting allows children to have more freedom, thus inspiring them to undertake new adventures with a greater sense of confidence.Creativity&nbsp;– Parents allow freedom and not limit their children; Hence they experiment with all sorts of passions and hobbies creative and imaginative play children can grow emotionally, socially, intellectually, and even physically. Cons of Permissive Parenting Giving excessive leniency may have significant negative consequences. Let’s see what the drawbacks of permissive parenting are: A conflict between needs and wants -&nbsp;As children grow older, they might demand a lot of things and have unrealistic and unreasonable expectations. They need guidance and limit-setting from their parents. Since parents do not want to upset their children, they give their children everything they ask for. The child does not learn the difference between needs and wants.Lack of time management -&nbsp;In the absence of rules and behaviour at home, these children may not learn the value of time. They might spend too much time watching television or playing online games.Lack of parental control -&nbsp;In permissive parenting, the child may come to feel that they are in charge rather than their parents, and experience that can generate significant anxiety.Emotional imbalance -&nbsp;Children who do not have limits set on their behaviour can have difficulty regulating their emotions, especially when their needs are not met.

Permissive parents usually take on more of a friend role than a parent role. They often encourage their children to talk with them about their problems, but they usually don't put much effort into discouraging poor choices or bad behavior.

Permissive Parenting

Friendship is one of the pillars of living a happy life. If your child is not able to make friends in general, it might be because (s)he is an introvert. But if your child is choosy about the gender of his/her friends, it is a different issue altogether. <ul><li>Parents also have an influence on children when it comes to making friends of the opposite gender. A lot of times parents pass comments like “You are a boy, why are you playing with girls?” and vice versa. Hence, consciously or unconsciously parents are responsible for developing gender bias in their tiny minds.</li><li>Be open-minded and let them be free.</li><li>Let them explore the possibilities and consequences rather than you imposing your learning on them.</li><li>Do not constrain their thinking and let them choose their friends on their own.</li><li>Avoid passing comments like “blue is the colour of boys and pink of girls” or “girls cry a lot but boys do not”. Such statements unconsciously make children bend towards their own gender.</li><li>Without your constant inputs, gradually they will learn to make friends of both the genders.</li><li>Friendship is about understanding and comfort. Everyone has a natural tendency to be comfortable around men, women, or both. So for the child also it's the same.</li></ul> Unless you or the society doesn’t put this gender bias in their head, they treat everyone (either a girl or a boy) as equal.

A child's thought process is majorly influenced by the people around him/her.

Child does not make opposite gender friends

Around the age of 2, most kids start showing interest in learning alphabets. You can use the following learning methods for your child: <ol><li>Singing the alphabet song: You can sing the alphabet songs for them and gradually they will learn to sing with you. You can also play action song on alphabets or just play audio whenever they are playing around. Children love to sing and dance along and that's how they learn things quickly.</li><li>Reading all alphabet books that you can find: The more you repeat, the more they repeat with you and the better is the learning. Provide them with different alphabet books so they don’t get bored with reading the same one. Make sure that the books show different things for one alphabet. Example: Not all books should contain “A for Apple”; “A for aeroplane”, “A for almond”, and so on should be included in the books. This will help your child in the long run.</li><li>Tracing the letters: Books for tracing the letters are readily available in the market. A child uses his/her fingers to trace the letters. The letter cards tell the child where to start and in which direction to trace. You can make such cards at home too. To make it interesting, help your child dip their finger in watercolour and then trace the letters.</li><li>Make alphabet shapes with your child using sand on a flat surface.</li><li>Use clay to make alphabet shapes with your child. This will improve their fine motor skills and sense of touch along with learning alphabets.</li><li>ABC cookies, ABC pancakes are also available in the market.</li></ol> Important Note: If the child knows the alphabet names, it becomes easy for them to learn the sounds of letters. Always start with teaching upper case letters because they are easier than the lower case ones.

Every child learns on its own pace. You can slowly introduce your child to new concepts but never be impatient to teach them everything at once.

thumb sucking parenting concerns

Parenting issues are a part of the everyday parenting journey. Following article(s) might help you with your concern(s).