A few things said in haste messes up a child's brain and have a considerable impact psychologically, like low self-confidence, self-doubt, anxiety, depression, and so much more. Throughout your parenting journey, make sure you are not saying things or acting out in a way that could damage your child(ren) mentally. Sometimes parents are not aware that their actions affect their child(ren) negatively, and sometimes parents overlook it and justify their bad behaviour due to their stress. Here are a few practices which you should avoid telling your child(ren): Pick these up right now. I don't want you leaving a mess like that again.Instead, say:&nbsp;I don't like this mess you are leaving. Can you please clean this up when you have time? You should know better.Instead, say:&nbsp;It's OK not to know some things. Here, I will help you out. You're a bad kid.Instead, say:&nbsp;Can you tell me why you behaved/acted in such a way? I feel it wasn't right, is there anything you want to talk about? Or Else.&nbsp;Example: Eat dinner, or else you won't get your dessert.Instead, say:&nbsp;How about you take a healthy dinner quickly so that we can all enjoy dessert together?&nbsp; Stop being shy.Instead, say:&nbsp;You can come to say hi to your aunt when you are ready. You should set a good example for your brother.Instead, say:&nbsp;Your brother looks up to you; you're such a good role model. Wait until your father/mother gets home.Instead, say:&nbsp;You're grounded because you said a bad word. I will never forgive you.Instead, say:&nbsp;What you did was not acceptable, but we can look past it and move on if you think the next time. I'm ashamed of you.Instead, say:&nbsp;Although I feel bad about what you did, I love you for who you are. Don't worry; everything will be OK.Instead, say:&nbsp;Mom and Dad are always nearby, and we're going to set up a plan in case of emergency. Here, I'll do it.Instead, say:&nbsp;Let's do it together!" Don't cryInstead, say:&nbsp;I know you're sad, and it's OK to cry. It's OK to let out your emotions. Let me hug you. If you don't clean your room, you're going to be in big trouble.Instead, say:&nbsp;When your room is clean, then you may go out to play. Family finances aren't your business.Instead, say:&nbsp;Finances are how we make and manage money, and when you like, we will teach you what we know. I'm disappointed in you.Instead, say:&nbsp;I'm surprised and was not expecting this to occur. Come here, NOW.Instead, say:&nbsp;It's almost time to go. Do you want one minute or two? Because I said so.Instead, say:&nbsp;Explaining why you feel a certain way about something. We can't afford that.Instead, say:&nbsp;We're not going to buy that because we're saving our money for more important things. Don't talk to strangers.Instead, say:&nbsp;What would you do if a man you don't know offers you candy and a ride home? OR If anyone makes you feel sad, scared, or confused, you need to tell me right away. You should listen to adults.Instead, say:&nbsp;You need to listen to your parents. Don't be greedy!Instead, say:&nbsp;Would you please be kind and share your toys with your friend? Who taught you this? (about mischief)Instead, say:&nbsp;Why did you do that? Look at this lovely girl.Instead, say:&nbsp;I love you. You can do this too. I do everything for you.Instead, say:&nbsp;We do things for you because we love you, so please do for me. Do I have to tell you this 100 times?Instead, say:&nbsp;I've told you this before, but could you please. That's only for boys/girls.Instead:&nbsp;Say nothing at all. Try your best at raising gender-neutral children. You live under my roof, so you follow my rules.Instead, say:&nbsp;You know the household rules. Please stick to them. That's how I was raised.Instead, say:&nbsp;I don't think it's a good idea to do [ ]. Even my parents used to tell me that [ ]. You're just like your mother/father!Instead say:&nbsp;I’m not happy with [ ] because [ ]. I told you so.Instead, say:&nbsp;I'm sorry to hear about [ ] ... let this be a lesson. It's just a little white lie.Instead, explain to them that it's OK to use white lies to be polite and not hurt someone's feelings. Explain to them the fine line between lies and little white lies. Man up. / Be a man.Never disregard your son's feelings. Don't teach them that showing emotions is weak. To show emotions is only human. Why can't you be more like your sister?Instead, say:&nbsp;I don't quite like this behaviour of yours. Do you think we can work on it? If you loved me, you wouldn't do (this/that).Don't teach them that love needs to be proven all the time. Love comes without ifs and buts. I wish you'd never been born. / I hate you.No matter how angry you are, this is the worst thing to say. You would be scarring your child. Why can't you do anything right?Instead, say: What's the barrier? Is there anything I can help you with? I don't believe you.Instead, say: This comes as a shock for me. But I am sure you can tell me the whole thing. There's nothing to be afraid of.Instead, say:&nbsp;Everyone has their fair share of fears. We appreciate that you shared your feelings with us. We promise we will work on this together. You're lazy/stupid/selfish.Never label your child. Never. Your friends don't do that.Comparison will never bring any positive change. Accept your child for who they are and appreciate them. You should have done better.Praise them for their achievement. Do not over expect. You don't know what you're talking about. / You're too young to know what you want.Often children know what they want or how they feel. Saying this will show your distrust in their feelings. You'll never be able to do that.Instead, encourage and push your child to do better, of course, without any comparison. You're so fat/skinny, or You're going to get fat/skinny.Never attribute a child's identity to their looks. You make me so mad.Calm your anger down, and then talk to your child(ren).&nbsp;Instead, say:&nbsp;We will talk about this after a while when I am in the right state of my mind. Impact of such phrases on children:<ol><li>Antisocial behaviour</li><li>Poor resilience</li><li>Depression</li><li>Aggression</li><li>Lack of empathy</li><li>Difficulty in relationships</li><li>Self-doubt</li><li>Lack of self-confidence</li><li>Anxiety</li></ol>

A few things said in haste messes up a child's brain and have a considerable impact psychologically, like low self-confidence, self-doubt, anxiety and so on

Speaking Gently: Things you should never say to your child

A few things said in haste messes up a child’s brain and have a huge impact psychologically.

Things You Should Never Say to Your Child

Creativity is at the epicentre of human exploration and discovery. Creativity is a force that nurtures human development, innovation and helps us appreciate nature around us. Everyone is creative. Being creative helps children to look within themselves, take a pause and helps them to calm down. Below are a few ways to nurture your child’s creative ideas and imaginative spirit:<ol><li>Encourage possibility thinking: Pose the “What if?” question in front of your child in as many ways as possible; these help children naturally think of creative possibilities for everything they encounter.</li><li>Nurture your child’s interests: Allow your children to choose their after-school activities. Encourage them to more deeply explore those activities in essays and projects at school.</li><li>Expand the language of emotion: Being able to understand and describe emotions is critical to the creative process. Help them with the emotional vocabulary so that they can express their feelings better.</li><li>Play, play, play: Through imaginative play, children explore their ideas and create meaning about the world around them. It is better to provide all kinds of art supplies - crayons, play dough, construction paper, glitter to your child so that (s)he can create freely.</li><li>Explore the beauty of nature: The natural world inspires children to think, question, make suppositions, instil problem-solving skills, and develop creative minds. Children can draw in the sand, make designs with twigs, build forts with branches, or simply lie on the ground and look up at the sky.</li><li>Advocate for the daydreamer: When kids daydream, they explore associations, make connections, and search for possibilities. Daydreaming and a bit of solitude for reflection are among the attributes of highly creative people.</li><li>Invent scenarios: Invent scenarios with your child. This way (s)he will try on lots of different roles and organise his/her thoughts while developing social and verbal skills. Encourage your child to play house, doctor, zoo, farm, space station, school, or store.</li><li>Verbal activities: From rhymes to riddles (check our rhymes and riddles content to get you started), silly sounds to phonics, games such as "I Spy" (and many more activities on our app), verbal interactive activities can inspire and nurture creative minds.</li><li>Encourage art activities: Through painting, sculpture, collage, clay, drawing or any other medium, art is a way for children to work through emotions, make decisions, and express their ideas.</li><li>Ask open-ended and thought-provoking questions: Asking questions that provoke imaginative and creative thinking is an effective way to invite your child to express his/her ideas and share his/her visions. "What do you think would happen if….?" "What's the difference between a dog and a cat?" "What are some other ways to do this?" are a few questions to get you started.</li><li>Limit screen time: Nurturing imagination and parenting in the digital age can be tough. Focusing on a screen is a passive way of learning for children. Engaging children in a kinesthetic manner using their entire bodies and their five senses helps in deep learning and also opens up their minds.</li><li>Remember to allow for downtime: Unstructured, unscheduled time allows children opportunities to imagine and create.</li><li>Limit electronic toys: Electronic toys don’t engage a child’s imagination and so children are simply better off playing with a basic wooden toy.</li><li>Ask questions about their creations: Kids have their own thought processes, and we can’t always see what they are thinking just by looking at something they’ve made. Ask them what they have created to help them articulate their process and the ideas behind what they thought of creating and what they ended up creating.</li><li>Respect: Respecting that each child has the right to be himself/herself and believing in his/her uniqueness builds your child’s confidence. Respect his/her imagination and fantasies.</li><li>Base on Values Not Rules: Too many rules hinder creativity. If you let your children decide their behaviour according to those values, creativity will flourish.</li></ol> Here are some examples of comments that nurture the creative environment:<ul><li>“It’s fun to try it different ways”</li><li>“Tell me about it”</li><li>“Let’s try it anyway”</li><li>“Have you thought of any alternatives?”</li><li>“I see you are having a lot of fun”</li></ul>

Creativity is at the epicentre of human exploration and discovery. Being creative helps children to look within themselves, take a pause and helps them to calm down.

Nurturing your child's Creativity

Being creative helps a child take a pause from the constant running about of life and makes them feel relaxed.

Nurturing your childs Creativity

Are we exhibiting what we want our kids to be? Call it a harsh reality but children rarely learn from what we preach, they learn from our actions. Take this for an example, an anonymous user on the internet confessed that her child would hit her younger sibling while playing. Her explanation in defence was, “We are playing ‘mommy”. We all aspire to become perfect parents for our kids because we want to inculcate values in them that would make them better human beings. But the larger and the more significant question is do we exhibit that kind of discipline in our behaviour? We expect our children to use modern-day gadgets judiciously but do we supervise our use of these products? We want our kids to watch their words and actions when angry but do we manage our anger appropriately? We want our kids to show decorum and discipline with their daily routine but are we exhibiting ourselves as an example to do the same? Dr Haim Ginott, a renowned child psychologist, pointed out, “Children are like wet cement. Whatever falls on them makes an impression.” If we give the child an environment of hostility he is more likely to learn to fight. An environment of ridicule and shame can lead to the child resulting being shy and guilty. But similarly, if the child had always lived with tolerance, he learns to become more patient. If he has always received praise, he learns the virtue of appreciation. What is important during the child’s growing years is that we model the kind of behaviour we expect our children to be. It is impossible to not be stressed or angry under circumstances. But when the parents manage their stress and anger appropriately, the message is loud and clear to the kids that it is normal to feel negative at times but it is only the positive attitude towards solving these problems that reap good results. Parents should ‘speak’ and ‘do’ what they expect out of their children. Saying statements like. “I love all kinds of food”, “I love playing outdoors”, “Let’s clean up the mess together”, “Let’s help little brother/sister with eating the food”. These kinds of statements bring about assurance in the kids and before indulging in the wrong they are forced to do what think what they have been taught. The brains of children are like sponges. They absorb everything without discriminating information into right or wrong. Let's set ourselves as better examples for our children. Let's exhibit what we want our children to be.

Are we exhibiting what we want our kids to be? Call it a harsh reality but children rarely learn from what we preach, they learn from our actions.

Children See Children Learn - The pillar of parenting

Being a positive role model for your child can help instil the right attitude and habits from an early age for your child to nurture a healthy lifestyle.

Children See Children Learn ~The pillar of parenting

If your child is laughing without any specific reason or if (s)he is talking, crying or staying silent way too much without any understandable reason, this might indicate that your child is unable to understand what is going on in a particular situation. When children have insecurity of being judged as someone who cannot gauge what is going around in his/her space, they react in a way in which people around them are not able to catch the fact that the child is not understanding anything happening around him/her. From the child’s perspective, (s)he feels, "Come on! I don’t get it. Why do you want me to understand everything”. They choose not to be vocal about how they feel. So they keep reacting in odd ways. Sometimes children are scared and think "If I go say that I don’t understand this and ask again, my parents will get angry and scold me.” You need to analyse the scenarios in which your child laughs too much. Ask you this question - Is this situation particularly funny and laughable or is my child just acting oddly because of (s)he lacks understanding of the situation? If you feel that your child lacks understanding, talk to them in private and ensure them that you are there to understand them and not mock them or be angry at them. Reassure them that if they don't feel right about anything, they can come to you and talk to you; there will be no judgements. If things are out of control and you cannot help manage your child's behaviour, you should consult a child psychologist who can help you solve this problem by taking steps in the right direction.

Pay attention to the situations in which your child laughs too much; this will help you to understand the problem better.

When a child laughs too much

Pay attention to the situations in which your child laughs too much; this will help you to understand the problem better.

<ul><li>Make sure to get your child fully checked before the winter starts.</li><li>Make sure that all heating appliances like geysers &amp; heaters are in working condition.</li><li>Adequate warm clothing is essential but makes sure to NOT over-dress your baby as it can be extremely uncomfortable for him/her. Several thin layers will keep them dry and warm. Always remember to make them warm boots, gloves or mittens, and a hat. The rule of thumb for older babies and young children is to dress them in one more layer of clothing than an adult would wear in the same conditions.</li><li>Give warm water baths to your child. Make sure that there is a balance between the bathroom and the bedroom temperature so that your child does not get uncomfortable after the bath.</li><li>There should be no gusts of cold winds when you are bathing your baby.</li><li>Give adequate necessary vitamins and nutrients essential for proper growth to your child.</li><li>When riding/travelling in a car, make them wear thin, snug layers rather than thick, bulky coats or snowsuits.</li><li>Use sleep clothing for babies like warm one-piece sleepers or wearable blankets instead of loose bedding like blankets, quilts, pillows, bumpers, and sheepskins as they are a cause of suffocating deaths.</li><li>If a blanket must be used to keep a sleeping infant warm, it should be thin and tucked under the crib mattress, reaching only as far as the baby's chest.</li><li>Prevent cold and flu by getting kids to:</li></ul>-Use soap and water: Washing their hands frequently will reduce the spread of germs.-Cover their mouth: Sneezing or coughing into the bend of their elbows also helps prevent the spreading of germs.-Get immunised: Keep vaccinations current, including the flu shot.<ul><li>Include soup in your baby’s diet. A healthy soup in cold weather will keep your baby warm.</li><li>Maintain your own hygiene: Make sure to wash and sanitise your hands before you attend to your baby every time. You need to stay healthy so that your child does not catch any infections because of you.</li><li>Use a Humidifier: When using a heating apparatus during winters it could rob the room of water vapour, making the air dry as well as your child’s skin. Hence, install a humidifier in the room so that the moisture levels are maintained.</li><li>Make use of a moisturiser for your baby as your little one's skin will be extremely sensitive and the harsh atmosphere of the winter can make it dry. Opt for skin creams or moisturisers that are made for the baby’s skin.</li><li>Protect your child from hypothermia. Hypothermia develops when a child's temperature falls below normal due to exposure to colder temperatures. As hypothermia sets in, the child may shiver and become lethargic and clumsy.&nbsp;Speech may become slurred.</li><li>If you suspect your child is hypothermic, call for an emergency at once. Until help arrives, take the child indoors, remove any wet clothing, and wrap him/her in blankets or warm clothes.</li><li>Another thing to keep your baby safe from is frostbite. Frostbite happens when the skin and outer tissues become frozen.&nbsp;This condition tends to happen on extremities like the fingers, toes, ears and nose.&nbsp;They may become pale, grey and blistered. At the same time, the child may complain that his/her skin burns or has become numb.</li><li>If you suspect frostbite, bring the child indoors and place the frostbite parts of his/her body in warm (not hot) water. Warm washcloths may be applied to frostbitten noses, ears and lips. Do not rub the frozen areas. After a few minutes, dry and cover the child with clothing or blankets. Give him/her something warm to drink. If the numbness continues for more than a few minutes, call your doctor.</li></ul>

Taking the right precautionary steps before the arrival of any season will keep your baby safe and healthy.

Winter Precautions for Babies

Taking the right precautionary steps before the arrival of any season will keep your baby safe and healthy.

Precautions for Babies During the Winter Season

Divorce is harsh on both, the parents and the child(ren). If you have planned for divorce, then surely it must have been after a lot of thought and because the relationship was just too difficult to carry on with. First and foremost thing is to remember that divorce is between husband and wife. The child is nowhere at fault in the whole scenario. So (s)he should not suffer. Things to keep in mind before going ahead with divorce:<ul><li>When you have decided to get divorced, take into consideration your child’s age and also take their consent for the same. It is important to get your child(ren) on the same page as you are because the divorce is going to affect them as well.</li><li>Our social structure dictates that a child should stay with both the parents. But with divorce, that’s not going to happen. So explain this change to your child that now (s)he will be staying with only either of the parents.</li><li>It is understandable that both the parents might want the custody of the child. But here, don’t be selfish. Instead of keeping yourself first, keep your child at the centre. Both of you might know who the child is most comfortable with and with whom (s)he close to. When you have the answer, decide mutually that the custody of the child should go to that parent.</li></ul> Things to keep in mind during the legal process of divorce:<ul><li>Avoid heated arguments and conflicts in front of your child. Keep legal talks away from your kids. If there is any disturbing conversation to be made, do it in your child’s absence.</li><li>Confine negativity and blame to private therapy sessions.</li><li>Converse with your child: Listen to them carefully. Make them comfortable. Ensure they feel safe, secure and heard whenever they want to talk. Help them put their feelings into words.</li><li>Show validation for their feelings: Let them know it is okay to feel sad without their father or mother. And at the same time there are reasons to be happy as well for the changes in the future. Like if there is going to be change in the house or school, let them know it's going to be new and exciting too. Give them perspective.</li><li>Make it very clear that they will always be loved by both parents. They are never at fault; children tend to feel guilty so make sure they know it clearly that divorce is no one’s fault. It is just that sometimes elders can’t adjust the ways the other person lives. That is why they have mutually decided to stay in different places. Keep it simple and truthful and explain keeping their age and maturity into consideration.</li><li>Allow kids to express disappointment: They can talk about their pain or grief. They may exhibit some awkward behaviour when they can’t accept the changes. Sometimes they themselves do not understand or realise the cause of their anger or frustration. Give them some time to adjust. Be supportive and co-operative. We all go through such rough phases so allow them to feel it and be with them, talk to them. Get clinical help if required. Talk to a counsellor. Get help whenever required.</li></ul> After the divorce, keep in mind:<ul><li>Once the custody matter of the child is resolved, it is upon the parent with whom the child stays that they don’t speak negatively about the other parent in front of the child. Divorce is an issue between a husband and a wife, the child is never at fault. And so the child should not suffer nor should (s)he have any negative feelings about either of the parents.</li><li>Whatever arrangements you have made for you and your child – number of times the child meets the other parents, meeting arrangements as a family, family outings, etc. – all need to be discussed with the child in plain black and white terms. Never keep a child in shady greys of doubts.</li><li>Keeping them in doubt will hamper a child’s relation with both the parents.</li></ul>

Divorce can be quite difficult for a child. It is important that parents handle this situation very carefully.

Planning the best for the child during and post divorce

Read the article to know the steps you can take to help your child before, during, and after your divorce.

what is best for child after divorce

Read the article to know the steps you can take to help your child before, during, and after your divorce.

Planning the best for the child during and post divorce

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