A few things said in haste messes up a child's brain and have a considerable impact psychologically, like low self-confidence, self-doubt, anxiety, depression, and so much more. Throughout your parenting journey, make sure you are not saying things or acting out in a way that could damage your child(ren) mentally. Sometimes parents are not aware that their actions affect their child(ren) negatively, and sometimes parents overlook it and justify their bad behaviour due to their stress. Here are a few practices which you should avoid telling your child(ren): Pick these up right now. I don't want you leaving a mess like that again.Instead, say:&nbsp;I don't like this mess you are leaving. Can you please clean this up when you have time? You should know better.Instead, say:&nbsp;It's OK not to know some things. Here, I will help you out. You're a bad kid.Instead, say:&nbsp;Can you tell me why you behaved/acted in such a way? I feel it wasn't right, is there anything you want to talk about? Or Else.&nbsp;Example: Eat dinner, or else you won't get your dessert.Instead, say:&nbsp;How about you take a healthy dinner quickly so that we can all enjoy dessert together?&nbsp; Stop being shy.Instead, say:&nbsp;You can come to say hi to your aunt when you are ready. You should set a good example for your brother.Instead, say:&nbsp;Your brother looks up to you; you're such a good role model. Wait until your father/mother gets home.Instead, say:&nbsp;You're grounded because you said a bad word. I will never forgive you.Instead, say:&nbsp;What you did was not acceptable, but we can look past it and move on if you think the next time. I'm ashamed of you.Instead, say:&nbsp;Although I feel bad about what you did, I love you for who you are. Don't worry; everything will be OK.Instead, say:&nbsp;Mom and Dad are always nearby, and we're going to set up a plan in case of emergency. Here, I'll do it.Instead, say:&nbsp;Let's do it together!" Don't cryInstead, say:&nbsp;I know you're sad, and it's OK to cry. It's OK to let out your emotions. Let me hug you. If you don't clean your room, you're going to be in big trouble.Instead, say:&nbsp;When your room is clean, then you may go out to play. Family finances aren't your business.Instead, say:&nbsp;Finances are how we make and manage money, and when you like, we will teach you what we know. I'm disappointed in you.Instead, say:&nbsp;I'm surprised and was not expecting this to occur. Come here, NOW.Instead, say:&nbsp;It's almost time to go. Do you want one minute or two? Because I said so.Instead, say:&nbsp;Explaining why you feel a certain way about something. We can't afford that.Instead, say:&nbsp;We're not going to buy that because we're saving our money for more important things. Don't talk to strangers.Instead, say:&nbsp;What would you do if a man you don't know offers you candy and a ride home? OR If anyone makes you feel sad, scared, or confused, you need to tell me right away. You should listen to adults.Instead, say:&nbsp;You need to listen to your parents. Don't be greedy!Instead, say:&nbsp;Would you please be kind and share your toys with your friend? Who taught you this? (about mischief)Instead, say:&nbsp;Why did you do that? Look at this lovely girl.Instead, say:&nbsp;I love you. You can do this too. I do everything for you.Instead, say:&nbsp;We do things for you because we love you, so please do for me. Do I have to tell you this 100 times?Instead, say:&nbsp;I've told you this before, but could you please. That's only for boys/girls.Instead:&nbsp;Say nothing at all. Try your best at raising gender-neutral children. You live under my roof, so you follow my rules.Instead, say:&nbsp;You know the household rules. Please stick to them. That's how I was raised.Instead, say:&nbsp;I don't think it's a good idea to do [ ]. Even my parents used to tell me that [ ]. You're just like your mother/father!Instead say:&nbsp;I’m not happy with [ ] because [ ]. I told you so.Instead, say:&nbsp;I'm sorry to hear about [ ] ... let this be a lesson. It's just a little white lie.Instead, explain to them that it's OK to use white lies to be polite and not hurt someone's feelings. Explain to them the fine line between lies and little white lies. Man up. / Be a man.Never disregard your son's feelings. Don't teach them that showing emotions is weak. To show emotions is only human. Why can't you be more like your sister?Instead, say:&nbsp;I don't quite like this behaviour of yours. Do you think we can work on it? If you loved me, you wouldn't do (this/that).Don't teach them that love needs to be proven all the time. Love comes without ifs and buts. I wish you'd never been born. / I hate you.No matter how angry you are, this is the worst thing to say. You would be scarring your child. Why can't you do anything right?Instead, say: What's the barrier? Is there anything I can help you with? I don't believe you.Instead, say: This comes as a shock for me. But I am sure you can tell me the whole thing. There's nothing to be afraid of.Instead, say:&nbsp;Everyone has their fair share of fears. We appreciate that you shared your feelings with us. We promise we will work on this together. You're lazy/stupid/selfish.Never label your child. Never. Your friends don't do that.Comparison will never bring any positive change. Accept your child for who they are and appreciate them. You should have done better.Praise them for their achievement. Do not over expect. You don't know what you're talking about. / You're too young to know what you want.Often children know what they want or how they feel. Saying this will show your distrust in their feelings. You'll never be able to do that.Instead, encourage and push your child to do better, of course, without any comparison. You're so fat/skinny, or You're going to get fat/skinny.Never attribute a child's identity to their looks. You make me so mad.Calm your anger down, and then talk to your child(ren).&nbsp;Instead, say:&nbsp;We will talk about this after a while when I am in the right state of my mind. Impact of such phrases on children:<ol><li>Antisocial behaviour</li><li>Poor resilience</li><li>Depression</li><li>Aggression</li><li>Lack of empathy</li><li>Difficulty in relationships</li><li>Self-doubt</li><li>Lack of self-confidence</li><li>Anxiety</li></ol>

A few things said in haste messes up a child's brain and have a considerable impact psychologically, like low self-confidence, self-doubt, anxiety and so on

Speaking Gently: Things you should never say to your child

A few things said in haste messes up a child’s brain and have a huge impact psychologically.

Things You Should Never Say to Your Child

If your child is laughing without any specific reason or if (s)he is talking, crying or staying silent way too much without any understandable reason, this might indicate that your child is unable to understand what is going on in a particular situation. When children have insecurity of being judged as someone who cannot gauge what is going around in his/her space, they react in a way in which people around them are not able to catch the fact that the child is not understanding anything happening around him/her. From the child’s perspective, (s)he feels, "Come on! I don’t get it. Why do you want me to understand everything”. They choose not to be vocal about how they feel. So they keep reacting in odd ways. Sometimes children are scared and think "If I go say that I don’t understand this and ask again, my parents will get angry and scold me.” You need to analyse the scenarios in which your child laughs too much. Ask you this question - Is this situation particularly funny and laughable or is my child just acting oddly because of (s)he lacks understanding of the situation? If you feel that your child lacks understanding, talk to them in private and ensure them that you are there to understand them and not mock them or be angry at them. Reassure them that if they don't feel right about anything, they can come to you and talk to you; there will be no judgements. If things are out of control and you cannot help manage your child's behaviour, you should consult a child psychologist who can help you solve this problem by taking steps in the right direction.

Pay attention to the situations in which your child laughs too much; this will help you to understand the problem better.

When a child laughs too much

Pay attention to the situations in which your child laughs too much; this will help you to understand the problem better.

<ul><li>Make sure to get your child fully checked before the winter starts.</li><li>Make sure that all heating appliances like geysers &amp; heaters are in working condition.</li><li>Adequate warm clothing is essential but makes sure to NOT over-dress your baby as it can be extremely uncomfortable for him/her. Several thin layers will keep them dry and warm. Always remember to make them warm boots, gloves or mittens, and a hat. The rule of thumb for older babies and young children is to dress them in one more layer of clothing than an adult would wear in the same conditions.</li><li>Give warm water baths to your child. Make sure that there is a balance between the bathroom and the bedroom temperature so that your child does not get uncomfortable after the bath.</li><li>There should be no gusts of cold winds when you are bathing your baby.</li><li>Give adequate necessary vitamins and nutrients essential for proper growth to your child.</li><li>When riding/travelling in a car, make them wear thin, snug layers rather than thick, bulky coats or snowsuits.</li><li>Use sleep clothing for babies like warm one-piece sleepers or wearable blankets instead of loose bedding like blankets, quilts, pillows, bumpers, and sheepskins as they are a cause of suffocating deaths.</li><li>If a blanket must be used to keep a sleeping infant warm, it should be thin and tucked under the crib mattress, reaching only as far as the baby's chest.</li><li>Prevent cold and flu by getting kids to:</li></ul>-Use soap and water: Washing their hands frequently will reduce the spread of germs.-Cover their mouth: Sneezing or coughing into the bend of their elbows also helps prevent the spreading of germs.-Get immunised: Keep vaccinations current, including the flu shot.<ul><li>Include soup in your baby’s diet. A healthy soup in cold weather will keep your baby warm.</li><li>Maintain your own hygiene: Make sure to wash and sanitise your hands before you attend to your baby every time. You need to stay healthy so that your child does not catch any infections because of you.</li><li>Use a Humidifier: When using a heating apparatus during winters it could rob the room of water vapour, making the air dry as well as your child’s skin. Hence, install a humidifier in the room so that the moisture levels are maintained.</li><li>Make use of a moisturiser for your baby as your little one's skin will be extremely sensitive and the harsh atmosphere of the winter can make it dry. Opt for skin creams or moisturisers that are made for the baby’s skin.</li><li>Protect your child from hypothermia. Hypothermia develops when a child's temperature falls below normal due to exposure to colder temperatures. As hypothermia sets in, the child may shiver and become lethargic and clumsy.&nbsp;Speech may become slurred.</li><li>If you suspect your child is hypothermic, call for an emergency at once. Until help arrives, take the child indoors, remove any wet clothing, and wrap him/her in blankets or warm clothes.</li><li>Another thing to keep your baby safe from is frostbite. Frostbite happens when the skin and outer tissues become frozen.&nbsp;This condition tends to happen on extremities like the fingers, toes, ears and nose.&nbsp;They may become pale, grey and blistered. At the same time, the child may complain that his/her skin burns or has become numb.</li><li>If you suspect frostbite, bring the child indoors and place the frostbite parts of his/her body in warm (not hot) water. Warm washcloths may be applied to frostbitten noses, ears and lips. Do not rub the frozen areas. After a few minutes, dry and cover the child with clothing or blankets. Give him/her something warm to drink. If the numbness continues for more than a few minutes, call your doctor.</li></ul>

Taking the right precautionary steps before the arrival of any season will keep your baby safe and healthy.

Winter Precautions for Babies

Taking the right precautionary steps before the arrival of any season will keep your baby safe and healthy.

Precautions for Babies During the Winter Season

It's just a few days to your child's birthday and you are wondering if everything will go according to your plan or not. Well, here are a few things you can prepare beforehand so that on your child's special day you are not busy with organising and execution and are able to spend quality time with your child: <ul><li>If you're calling your child's friends over, make all the calls at least 3 days prior and take the confirmations so you can make the arrangements accordingly.</li><li>If you are planning to get food from outside, call the catering people and make appropriate arrangements for the special day.</li><li>If you are going to plan an activity for children, get all the materials for the same and keep everything in one place so that you don't have to rush around for everything on the day of celebration.</li><li>Get a house help for the whole day to help you with the arrangements prior to the celebration and also to help you tidy up the place post the celebrations.</li><li>Make your child try on the clothes and footwear before their birthday so that if any changes are to be made, they can be done within time.</li><li>Wind up all your personal/professional work one day prior to your child's birthday so that you can give your undivided attention to your child.</li></ul> If you are confused as to what you can do to make your child's birthday fulfilling, take a look at our 'Birthday Celebration Ideas' article to get some ideas.

Don't fuss about the preparations on the day of the celebration of the child's birthday, instead, see what you can manage prior to the celebration to make the day less stressful.

Preparing for your childs Birthday

Don't fuss about the preparations on the day of the celebration of your child's birthday, instead, see what all you can manage prior to the celebration to make the day less stressful.

The nose is an essential part of our body. It filters the air you breathe, removing dust, germs, and irritants. It warms and moistens the air to keep your lungs and tubes that lead to them from drying out. Your nose also contains the nerve cells that help your sense of smell. When there is a problem with your nose, your whole body can suffer. For example, the stuffy nose of the common cold can make it hard for you to breathe, sleep, or get comfortable. Let's be nosy and find out standard childhood nose related issues : Bacterial Nasal Infections - Minor infections at the opening of the nose, may result in pimples at the base of nasal hairs and sometimes crusts around the nostrils. The infection may result from nose picking or excessive nose blowing and causes annoying crusts and bleeding when the crusts slough off.Broken Nose - A broken nose, also called a nasal fracture, is a break or crack in a bone in your nose — often the bone over the bridge of your nose. Common causes of a broken nose include contact sports, physical fights, falls, and motor vehicle accidents that result in facial trauma. A broken nose can cause pain, along with swelling and bruising around your nose and under your eyes. Your nose may look crooked, and you may have trouble breathing. Treatment for a broken nose may include procedures that realign your nose. Surgery usually isn't necessary for a broken nose.Deviated Septum - The bone and cartilage that divides the inside of the nose in half is called the nasal septum. The most common symptom from a badly deviated septum is difficulty breathing through the nose, which is usually worse on one side. In some cases, it may cause sinus drainage or repeated sinus infections.Nosebleeds - A nosebleed is blood loss from the tissue that lines your nose. The most common causes of nosebleeds are dryness (often caused by indoor heat in the winter) and nose picking. These two things work together — nose-picking occurs more often when mucus in the nose is dry and crusty. Colds also can cause nosebleeds.Post-Nasal Drip - Post-nasal drip occurs when your nose and throat produce excess mucus, often causing you to feel it dripping down from your nose into your throat. Symptoms include Feeling of mucus drainage into the throat, Frequent swallowing, Throat clearing, Sore, irritated throat &amp; Feeling a lump in the throat.Rhinitis (Hay Fever) -&nbsp;Allergic rhinitis is the most common childhood ailment caused by allergies. Symptoms include a runny and itchy nose, sneezing, post-nasal drip and nasal congestion (blockage). A child with allergies may also have itchy, watery, red eyes and chronic ear problems.Runny Nose - A stuffy or congested nose occurs when the tissues lining the nose become swollen. The swelling is due to inflamed blood vessels. The problem may also include nasal discharge or "runny nose." If excess mucus runs down the back of your throat, it may cause a cough or sore throat. A runny nose may be annoying and uncomfortable, but it usually clears up on its own. Occasionally, it can be a sign of a more severe problem. A runny nose may be severe in infants. Prevention tipsAlthough it may not be possible to prevent all nosebleeds in children, a person can take steps to help reduce their occurrence. These include:·&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Treating allergies to prevent inflammation in the nose·&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Using saline (saltwater) nasal sprays to keep the child's nose moist·&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Running a humidifier or vaporizer in the child's bedroom to prevent the air from drying out·&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Keeping children's nails trimmed to prevent injuries due to nose picking·&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Encouraging children to wear appropriate protective equipment during sports or other activities where injury to the nose is possible RememberIf your child has symptoms of any of the above nose related issues/infections, see your paediatrician. Your paediatrician can properly diagnose and treat the infection and recommend ways to help alleviate the discomfort from some of the symptoms.

The nose is an essential part of our body. It filters the air you breathe & removes dust. When there is a problem with your nose, your whole body can suffer. 

Nose related issues in Children

The nose is an essential part of our body. When there is a problem with your nose, your whole body can suffer.

Sleep talking is common among children. Sleep talking can be due to:<ul><li>Uneven sleep cycle</li><li>Excitement</li><li>Worry</li><li>Guilt</li><li>Physical illness</li><li>Hereditary</li></ul> Sleep talking among children is not a major cause of concern, however it is important to treat it. Here is how you can reduce or eliminate it:<ul><li>Make bed time free from stress, talk to your child about things that are affecting their behaviour. Communication can help them relieve stress and sleep without worries.</li><li>Regular exercises can also help the child sleep well without disruptions.</li><li>No sugar or caffeine at night.</li><li>Maintain a healthy sleep cycle.</li><li>Don’t wake your child while he/she is sleep talking. They will follow instructions while sleeping and you can calm them gently and guide them to go back to sleep. Waking them will make it harder to go back to sleep.</li></ul>

Sleep talking is common among children. It is not as serious as sleep walking habit and it can be resolved easily.

Resolving sleep talking problems

Sleep walking is common in kids; Most kids outgrow it by they reach their teens. Sleep walking usually lasts between five to fifteen minutes. The child would not remember a thing they did while sleepwalking. If your child is sleep walking, never try to wake them in the middle of the movement as it can aggravate the situation. Just gently get them back on bed with guided instructions or holding their hand to get them back. Causes of sleepwalking:<ul><li>Lack of sleep or the child is too tired</li><li>If the child has irregular sleep schedules</li><li>In case of fever or other illness</li><li>It may occur due to some medication</li><li>Stress could also cause sleepwalking</li><li>Inheritance (family history)</li></ul> What happens during sleep walking:<ul><li>They are sleep talking.</li><li>They seem dazed.</li><li>They look confused.</li><li>They won’t respond to you.</li><li>They might keep rubbing their eyes or fussing with clothes.</li><li>Their eyes are open but they don’t see things the same way they do when they are awake.</li></ul> If your child is sleep walking, you can prevent it by following these simple tips:<ul><li>Do not give sugar or coffee before sleeping.</li><li>Have a cool atmosphere in the room – preferably 25 degrees.</li><li>Avoid giving water or fluids before bed time and make sure they go to toilet (empty their bladder) before going to bed.</li><li>Bed room should be dark, quiet and comfortable for a perfect sleep.</li><li>Sleep on same time daily.</li></ul> Apart from these precautions, it is also advisable to take safety measures if your child sleep walks:<ul><li>Lock the doors and windows at night.</li><li>Keep alarms on doors and windows.</li><li>Keeping hazardous things out of reach.</li><li>Sleep walker should not sleep on bunk bed.</li><li>Install safety gates on staircase.</li></ul> Risk levels of Sleepwalking:<ol><li>Harmless- like sitting up</li><li>Potentially dangerous- like wandering outside</li><li>Inappropriate- like opening a closet door and peeing in it.</li></ol> Severity of this condition:It is not harmful but hazardous as they might run into doors or walk down the stairs, fall and hurt themselves. There is nothing wrong with your child’s emotional or psychological well-being. It does not cause any emotional harm. When to see a doctor:<ul><li>When this becomes a regular episode.</li><li>When your child stays sleepy all day.</li><li>When he or she either harms him/herself or others in sleep.</li><li>Consult a psychologist in extreme behavioural pattern to check whether there is any specific brain activity responsible for this.</li></ul>

Sleep walking is common in kids; Most kids outgrow it by they reach their teens.

Managing Sleep Walking Habit in Children

Before worrying about whether the child is sleeping enough or not, keep following things in mind:<ul><li>For a newborn baby, it sleeps 17 to 18 hours normally per day.</li><li>For a one year old baby, it sleeps for 10 to 12 hours per day.</li><li>As the baby grows older, the number of hours decrease. By the age of 6 years, your child should be sleeping for at least 9 to 10 hours in a day.</li><li>If a child stays happy, eats well and stays active all during the day, then whatever sleep the child takes is usually enough.</li></ul> Most infant babies sleep during the day and are awake at night and this could be irritating and exhausting. It is just a matter of time and your babies will settle with the routine.Some basic ways can help your baby enjoy sound sleep at night and keep them playful during the day:<ul><li>Keep your child awake for a little extra time than normal during each waking period, this will help to increase the urge to sleep later at night. Try to play with your baby after feeding and do not let them sleep.</li><li>A little bit of sunlight can help the child settle in the new schedule, get them out in sunlight during early morning (but keep them covered). If you cannot take the child out, keep the crib near the window and allow the baby to enjoy a bright and pleasant morning.</li><li>Avoid bright lights at night. Keep the lights low and ensure there is no noise around. Any movement can also disrupt a child’s sleep.</li><li>Swaddle and snug them; this makes them feel secure and comfortable to sleep.</li><li>Clear the clutter in the crib, keep toys, rattles and blankets away; ensure the crib is clean and clutter free. Baby’s movement should not result in any noise.</li></ul>

It is better to not assume otherwise about your child's sleep before understanding about the ideal sleep hours.

Sleep Schedule of Babies

<ul><li>Normally babies stop wetting beds when they are 2 or 2.5 years old. And if any child is wetting beds even after 2.5 years, the parent can wait till 5 years.</li><li>If bed wetting continues after 5 years, then in the beginning, the doctor will usually give them behavioural treatment and by following that most of the problems get solved.</li><li>But if the child continues to urinate in bed at 6 or 7 years also, then the parent should consult a specialist and do as per doctor’s advice.</li><li>If the family has a history of such a condition, there are more chances for the child to have this problem.</li></ul> As per the behavioural treatment given by the doctor:1. The child should not be given any fluids or liquids after 6 PM including sweet drinks, water, lassi, soda, buttermilk, milk etc.2. The child should be asked to urinate just before bed and even after sleeping, the parent is supposed to take the child to the toilet after 1- 2 hours. <ul><li>Urinating in bed is a combination of both physiological and psychological issue.</li><li>Child should be made mentally strong by counselling and talking to them. They should be asked to wash their undergarments or bed-sheets which they had spoilt. By doing this, they will feel conscious and stay aware about it.</li><li>You can appreciate your child by putting star-marks in the calendar for the nights (s)he didn’t wet the bed. The child can be asked to use the affirmations like “I won’t urinate in bed tonight” for 20 times.</li><li>If the problem continues even after these efforts, the doctors might suggest an alternative treatment.</li></ul>

Urinating in bed can be avoided by not giving fluids before bed but sometimes it has underlying psychological reasons as well.

Urination in bed

Palak Vyas

Clothing for a baby should be such that the baby is able to sleep hassle freeIn winters:<ul><li>Use thermal wear.</li><li>Do not use cotton clothes as they aren’t effective against cold.</li><li>For a newborn baby, swaddle with a warm blanket till 2 months.</li><li>Dress your child in a bodysuit. You can layer up with pants and top.</li><li>Put on soft warm socks for tiny toes.</li><li>Go for zip ups. So if it gets warmer you can take off easily.</li></ul> In summers:<ul><li>Use organic cotton muslin quilt to cover them while they sleep.</li><li>Fabric like fleece, cotton or flannel can be used.</li><li>Smooth cotton tops with short sleeves and pyjamas are enough.</li><li>In very hot weather only a diaper/cotton underwear is fine.</li></ul>Each one of us have different capacities to bear hot and cold temperatures so make sure to keep checking till you get an idea about your baby’s tendency. Check whether (s)he is fine with layering up or is (s)he okay with just a diaper. Soon you will know how to dress&nbsp;your own baby depending upon his/her comfort and requirements.

Choose sleepwear in a way that the baby sleeps hassle free and wakes up with a smile.

Sleepwear tips for babies

Following points can be considered while selecting a baby box for your baby: <ol><li>The box should be spacious and sturdy, basically appropriate for your baby.</li><li>The material should be able to stand your baby’s weight.</li><li>Baby Boxes can be used until 6 months or till your baby learns to sit or crawl on their own. So buy the boxes keeping in mind your baby’s growth for six months at least.</li><li>Ensure the base is well balanced.</li><li>Check whether it is comfortable for you and your baby to use a baby box. Generally, babies feel safe, secure and happy in the baby box.</li><li>The bottom mattress should be firm and properly fitted.</li></ol>

Baby boxes are also known as sleep boxes. These are simple cardboard boxes which can be used in place of cribs for babies to sleep in.

Selecting a baby box for your baby

If the child does not get enough sleep at night, nap hours can extend for long. It is advisable to keep an eye on temperature if the child is sleeping for long.

My child keeps sleeping most of the time

Toddlers need 11 to 12 hours of sleep at night and 1-2 hour naps. If your child is sleeping longer than this there is nothing to worry about it as far as the child is happy and fit. Go with the flow, extra sleep won’t hurt as far as the child is not unwell. Children can have an extended nap (3-4 hours). Growing age is one of the reasons for the long sleep schedule. However, ensure the child sleeps for 11 to 12 hours at a stretch at night. If the child does not get enough sleep at night, nap hours can extend for long. It is always advisable to keep an eye on temperature if the child is sleeping for long.

why does my child sleep all the time