Ravina Sewani

Samiksha Choithani

Dr Ajab Primuswala

You may be coping up with financial challenges of managing your career or climbing up the corporate ladder, parenting is something where most people are stuck. Raising a child with both parents working is indeed a challenging task. But, do not worry, a research shows that having a working mother has no impact on children’s happiness in adulthood. Also, children of working mums and dads are often successful in their later careers. The key here is to divide the household chores and child’s responsibilities equally among both the partners. For example if the mother is cooking food, the father should help with the dishes or vice versa. Similarly, if there’s a meeting or function to be attended in the child’s school, both the parents should do it alternatively. It should fall on to any one of the parents’ shoulders. Things to take into consideration here are:<ul><li>Work timings of both the parents: Say for example if the father has to report to work early in the morning, it is obvious that he won’t be able to take up the household chores in the morning. If the child has to go to school in the morning, the mother will have to look after that if she has the time in hand.</li><li>Work profile of both the parents: Say for example, if the work profile of the mother is stronger than the father and requires more time, then the free time that the mother gets should be first devoted to the child and then to the household chores. Or the mother can opt to do the household chores along with the child. This will help her to bind with the child better.&nbsp;</li><li>Both the partners should be mature enough to understand the above two points and work in the direction in which both the parents get equal amount of quality time to spend with the child.</li><li>Make sure that the time which you are spending with the child should be quality time. play family games post dinner, go for a walk together. A weekly ritual of spending the day on a day off also does wonders. Take the opportunity to learn about their interests, what is going on in their schools and classes, how are things with their friends, if there is anything that’s bothering them, etc.</li><li>In all these, do not forget to spend alone time with your partner. You both are each other’s strongest pillars. Once in a while, plan family outings so everyone is just having fun with each other by leaving behind the worries.</li><li>If your partner is not helping you share the responsibilities of the house and of the child, talk to your partner calmly and make them understand that you cannot do this single handed and it might take a toll on your mental health.</li><li>Make them understand that for healthy family dynamics, you will need their full support in everything.</li><li>In case if you are not able to sort it out, you can take counsellor’s help to resolve the situation between both of you.</li></ul> What can be done to reduce the burden on working parents other than sharing the responsibilities:<ul><li>Find a quality Day care: Find good, trustworthy, hygienic day care for your child. This will help you stay at peace and focus on your work at office. Also, ensure it offers flexible hours. In case if the grandparents are available and are ready and healthy enough to take care of your child, that option can also be considered.</li><li>Have a good morning routine: This is extremely important for working parents as a haphazard morning can spoil both your and the child’s day. Spend some time while brushing teeth together, give a long and refreshing shower, have breakfast together and a little conversation while you drop the child at school/bus/van.</li><li>Stay organised: Prepare everything a night before, pack the bag, chop vegetables, have a menu for breakfast. This will give you enough time to spend with your child.</li><li>Take good care of yourself: When you are tired and stretched, it gets difficult to manage both work and home. Have some ‘me time’ wake up a little early – exercise or go for a walk in green surroundings. A healthy body and healthy mind will keep you fit and energetic for the day.</li><li>Take help whenever required: You can always seek assistance from parents or grandparents. Offer car pooling for evening activity class on a busy day at work and arrange for a play date for children over the weekend.</li><li>Avoid planning to give equal time for both: You cannot practically do that because some days are extremely busy at work and sometimes baby’s health/education will need an extra attention. Flexibility at work and home is the key to strike the right balance.</li><li>Be a smart cook: you can boil 2 – 3 types of lentils on weekends and stuff them in refrigerator, this will save your cooking time on weekdays and spare time to spend with your kids. If your finances allow, outsource certain tasks like cleaning, cooking etc.</li><li>Discipline sleep schedule: The efforts should not be to wake up early; the efforts should be about sleeping on time. Spend more bedtime with kids and wake up early together. Share small household chores with your kid(s).</li></ul>

When both the parents are working, it becomes a tad bit difficult to manage work, household chores, and spending time with the child.

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